


All my life

by niamcuddles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Genderswap, Pining, all the others are themselves, also lots of fluff, also smut as usual, girl!Niall, its actually just pining and fluff, nialls a girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-05-30 20:09:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 127,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6438490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niamcuddles/pseuds/niamcuddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam's been in love with Niall ever since they had met in kindergarten and become best friends. He's fine knowing that his feelings will never get returned, but that is only until Niall suddenly decides that she finally wants to have a boyfriend.</p><p>(Or where Niall is a girl and Liam is pining for her the entire fic long)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey everybody! 
> 
> so, this is something different that ive really been wanting to write for months now and i finally have time to do so and i really hope you can all roll with the idea of niall being a girl and if not then im very sorry and im definitely going to write other stuff after this as well! (but i do hope you guys decide to give it a try :) )
> 
> just a few things i wanted to say, first of all, i put F/M even though larry are boys and dating but as you guys know, their relationship wont be in detail as usual. then more importantly, i kept nialls name because it is still niall after all and not a lot has changed either! the only reason why i wanted to try writing it like that was because ive never done this before and i thought itd be nice being able to relate a little bit more to one character, not that its all so different, just a few parts. also, i hope no one feels offended by this or anything, i really just wanted to write one of them being a girl and i chose niall because i feel like liams more the type to pine for someone (which is only what i think of course) and i wanted it to be the boy who pines for the girl.
> 
> so yeah, hope everyone enjoys this, as usual i hope to update once a week and yeah, have fun and please please let me know if you liked it!

“Hey, boys.” Liam felt a smile growing on his face as he heard the voice coming from behind, trying his hardest though to hold it back for the sake of his pride, and also a little bit because he knew the look Louis would have thrown at him had he seen.

“Where’ve you been, Ni?” Louis pulled up his eyebrows as Niall grinned at them, dropping her backpack next to Liam’s before keeping him from getting up for her, instead full on climbing over his lap on the free space next to him, blonde hair hitting his face with the hint of her perfume. Okay, this wasn’t very helpful.

“Nowhere, the professor wouldn’t stop talking, it was so boring you’ve no idea.” She rolled her eyes, shrugging off her jacket, her bare arm brushing against Liam’s as she reached across the table, throwing a questioning look at the brunette boy. “Can I h-“

“Sure.” Without even letting her finish, Liam pushed his whole try over to the girl, the soft smile on her face causing his stomach to tingle just lightly. “When’s your next class?”

“In an hour or so… I hate my schedule.” Rolling her eyes, Niall stuffed about ten fries at once into her mouth and usually Liam would have probably been disgusted, but because it was her, he could barely even force himself to turn his head away. “What’re we having for dinner?”

“I-“

“We’re eating right now, Niall.” Louis threw in, right before glaring at the girl because judging by the sounds, she had undoubtedly kicked him underneath the table. “Well, even if I wasn’t going out to eat with Harry tonight, I’d probably not make anything for you anyways.”

“Good, thanks for saving me from dying of food poisoning.” And before Louis could even respond, Niall had already turned towards Liam, not even swallowing everything down before talking and the brunette knew that maybe she had him wrapped a bit too tightly around her little finger. “Li?”

“Umm… I don’t know, what’d you wanna eat? We can… order in.” That always sounded like a good idea, especially whenever it was only him and Niall at home. “I still gotta study so… that’d be easier. Your class ends at 8, right?”

“Yeah… remember when I thought it’ll be a great semester ‘cos I don’t have to get up so early in the morning? And now I’m at uni until it’s already dark outside.” Again, Niall tried to kick Louis underneath the table as the oldest boy laughed at her, and the girl only stuck her tongue out towards him when she missed. “But yeah, let’s order in, you can choose.”

“Okay. And I’ll pick you at 8.30, yeah?” It was their thing, and Liam knew that maybe Niall didn’t particularly like him mentioning this in front of Louis, but she threw him a small smile while nodding, fingers grazing the boy’s arm, seemingly on accident. Liam didn’t like knowing that Niall had to walk home from the bus station on her own when it was already a bit later and dark, she was a tough girl and no one could tell her what to do, just… you never knew after all and he didn’t mind picking her up at all either and Niall had never complained, so. “How were classes?”

“Alright, I guess. Don’t have any homework so that’s good.” Niall grinned, putting more fries into her mouth and Liam was very thankful for the fact that Louis was smiling down at his phone instead of paying attention to them right now. “Yours?”

“Yeah, they were fine… you know this one girl? The one that’s in my maths class? She tried to ask me out again.” Of course Liam knew that it was stupid to tell Niall that, and pointless as well because making that girl just the tiniest bit jealous would have taken a little bit more than that one story. Or actually, it was probably impossible anyways, Liam had to know, he had tried way too many times.

“What, _again_? Damn, maybe you need to say yes at some point, I’m kinda starting to feel bad.” Shit, that had definitely been the wrong story. 

“But I’ve never even talked to her, she… she’ll stop eventually.” Maybe Liam was feeling a little tiny bit bad as well, but… it wasn’t his fault that there really only was one girl he really wanted to be with, that he had been in love with for years and still was and probably always would be. Too bad Niall could never know that Liam felt this way about her, he had tried telling her lots of times, when they had been a lot younger, but… she had never really taken it seriously, or hadn’t wanted to, and by now, Liam had already given up on it.

“Well, at least you got someone asking you out, right?” It was supposed to be a joke, but there was a hint of truth in Niall’s words that she probably noticed herself because she quickly looked away afterwards, snatching Liam’s coke from the table in order to half hide her face. Great, now Liam felt like crap.

“Guys, can you lighten up a bit? You still got each other and you can order some food and watch a movie while I’m on a date with Harry.” Of course Louis had to rub into their faces, like, it wasn’t as if either of them desperately wanted to date someone, but Liam knew that Niall had never been asked on a proper date and he himself, well… he would have probably killed to be the one she wanted to go on one with. 

“Where’s Harry anyways? I thought he wanted to be here too.” Niall had settled for just a glare at Louis before continuing to eat Liam’s fries, then the rest of his burger too because the brunette couldn’t say no to these blue eyes. 

“At his dorm, he’s got to prepare a presentation… actually, I should do the same but I thought it’d be more fun to hang out with you guys for some reason.” Louis didn’t mean it, he loved them, but he also loved to pretend that they got on his nerves, which was fine though because whenever you genuinely needed Louis, he was still there. Liam and Niall had to know, they’ve been friends with Louis for _ages_. “Do you want my fries as well, Nialler? ‘m kinda full.”

“Sure, thanks.” Without thinking about it for very long, Niall kept on eating Louis’ food and Liam would have offered to get her something else, but she seemed good like this for now. For some reason, the brunette always bought Niall food, and though she would try to protest, she’d always eventually give in. Not that she had to watch her figure or anything, she had a great body, ‘too skinny’ as she would call it before rolling her eyes at Liam whenever he told her that he thought she looked perfect, doing it off as a joke. Only… it wasn’t a joke at all. “So when’s Harry gonna officially move in with us anyways? He’s at our place more often than I’m at uni.”

“He’s not, if we move in together it’ll be somewhere else.” Thank god, because Liam had no idea how he would have told his parents about that anyways. They owned the flat all three of them were living in, so they didn’t have to pay rent, and though Liam’s parents would have probably allowed it anyways… the walls weren’t thick enough to have Louis’ boyfriend of one and a half years living with them. 

“Will we buy a dog when Louis moves out, Li? We could get a husky… or two, if we can’t decide on a name.” Niall seemed excited about that idea, she had tried to get Liam to buy a dog ever since they had moved into the flat after high school and though the brunette wanted a dog as well, they didn’t have any time for one. The fact though that the girl seemed to be planning on living with him for much longer wasn’t a bad feeling at all. 

“Maybe you should first of all start to learn how to take care of a hamster, Ni.” Louis suggested, smirking at the girl because they all knew very well how Niall’s last hamster’s life had ended a few years ago. 

“Oh yeah? Very funny, Lou, reminds me of the time you ran your mum’s car over your neighbor’s cat and didn’t wanna bring it to the vet.” It hadn’t died though, not even gotten hurt, and it had been an accident as well but Liam knew better than to interrupt when Niall and Louis were fighting because eventually, it’d just die down and they’d go back to being best friends who were just having a banter. Well, maybe not best friends because Liam was Niall’s best friend and he was always gonna be and he wouldn’t ever allow anybody else to take his place. 

They kept on sitting for about half an hour longer until Niall threw a look at her phone and almost freaked out, again climbing over Liam in the least gracefully way possible and the brunette held her arm so she wouldn’t fall, watching as she carelessly threw on her jacket, backpack hanging only over one shoulder.

“Bye, guys. Have fun on your date, Louis, and tell Haz he still owes me for letting him copy my answers on the quiz yesterday.” Niall went in for a quick side hug with Louis, and before Liam could get jealous, she was already next to him, her smile changing a bit as she leaned down this time, arms briefly wrapping around the boy’s neck and before Liam could really react, she had kissed his cheek. “See you later, Payno. Good luck with studying.”

And then she left, leaving Louis with a pretty dumb grin over Liam’s red cheeks, which Niall had probably not noticed though, because she never did. And it was good this way because how would Liam have explained that anyways, right? He’d be stupid to tell her what he felt for her, when it so clearly wasn’t mutual.

“Red suits you, Liam.” Of course Louis knew, actually, Liam was pretty sure that everybody knew except for Niall, he wasn’t very subtle, or good at hiding it either and maybe he didn’t even want to. 

“Shut up, Lou… I’m not even red.” Only a little bit, Liam quickly rubbed over his cheeks, keeping his eyes down though, at the remains of his food and coke. Was it stupid how happy he already was about getting to spend the night all alone with Niall? When they had done that more often than any of them could have even counted and yet Liam still enjoyed it so much? “When… when are you leaving to meet up with Harry?”

Louis only threw a grin at Liam, shaking his head at the younger boy but answering in a normal way luckily, letting the topic slip to Liam’s relief. If there was one thing he hated talking about with his friends, it was this.

 

\------------

 

Niall and Liam had been friends ever since Niall could remember. On the first day of kindergarten, the first thing everybody had asked her had been _‘Your name’s Niall? But that’s a boy’s name!´_ and then the girl had had to explain to about 50 people that her parents would have rather wanted a second boy than a girl and that’s also why she had been mostly wearing her older brother’s clothes back then. Well, and then everybody had made fun of her and she had shown them all her tongue, with one exception.

They had met on the playground, during their very first lunch break, and everyone had been running around and having fun, but there had been this one boy, smaller than Niall at this time, and he had been pushed around by some older kids and for some reason, Niall had taken pity on him and decided to help, because she knew what it was like to be pushed around, she had an older brother after all.

From there on, they had somehow stuck together, had gone to primary school together and to middle and high school, had shared millions of secrets and inside jokes and even each other’s beds when they had been younger, had driven their mothers crazy by staying outside way too long. And now they even lived together, since about 2 years already, ever since they had gotten to uni and moved to a different city. 

Niall would have trusted Liam with her life, he was like her other half, always there for her, whatever might happen, her favorite person in the entire world. And sure, she had other friends as well, Louis for example, who she had befriended at the end of middle school, but only after making sure Liam liked him too, and Harry, but only since a little bit under two years, when Louis had introduced him to them, and yeah, Niall had other friends at uni as well, but no one ever came close to what Liam was for her and it was good this way, she only needed one best friend after all. 

When they had grown up, Liam had started to become a lot taller than Niall, and very good looking, and though Niall didn’t think she was ugly herself or anything, it did get slightly annoying getting asked for Liam’s number by random girls while she had never even sparked the tiniest bit of interest in any boy she knew. Not that she was desperate for it or anything, just… it’d be nice maybe, to get complemented by someone who wasn’t Liam. 

“Niall, do you wanna come with us? We’re gonna go get something to eat.” This one girl from Niall’s class asked out of nowhere and maybe she would have said yes, but… Niall had better plans for tonight.

“No, thanks, I think I’m gonna head home.” She smiled politely though, grabbing her bag because she had to get off the bus at the next stop, standing up. “Liam’s already got food, so… “

“Oh, really?” Some other girl asked and Niall didn’t know her very well, but for some reason, it had sounded a bit weird, almost slightly aggressive. It’d be a lie to say that Niall didn’t know that some people at uni talked about her behind her back, because she lived with Louis and Liam and because she always hung out with them and apparently that meant she slept with both of them at once, even though Louis was gay and Liam was very obviously just her friend. “Have fun then.”

“Thanks.” Was all Niall replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes as she got up, relieved when the bus stopped a minute later and she said her goodbyes before getting off, trying not to get too nervous when Liam wasn’t already waiting at the stop.

It wasn’t as if Niall needed somebody to protect her, she could take care of herself, but obviously she wasn’t gonna tell Liam no whenever he told her he’d come pick her up and they could walk home together, especially when it was already as dark as today.

When the bus left, there was no one really left on the streets, not even cars, and Niall tried to calm herself down, she wasn’t scared, but she wasn’t really feeling that comfortable either just standing around, grabbing a bit tighter onto her backpack, closing her jacket as the wind got a bit stronger, tangling up her hair.

There were occasional sounds that calmed Niall down a bit as she waited, about to just start walking home by herself when she heard footsteps, and before her heart could really start to beat faster and she could locate where the noise was coming from, she already felt a hand on her arm that made her jump a bit. Liam. “Hey, sorry I’m late, the bus came sooner than I thought.”

“That’s fine, don’t worry, I didn’t even think I’d catch the bus or I would have told you.” Though Niall was more than relieved, she tried to play it down, still hugging Liam rather tightly though, closing her eyes for a second, feeling so safe all of a sudden that it should’ve been ridiculous.

“C’mon let’s go, the pizza is already there too. How was the lecture?” Liam kept his arm around Niall’s shoulder as they started walking and maybe it was just because he was used to doing it, but the girl was pretty sure that he was also doing it to keep her close because it was dark. Not that Niall minded.

“Boring, I almost slept in, I think I’m gonna go to bed really early tonight.” At least Niall would try to, she wasn’t very good at going to bed early even though she sometimes tried, but it’d get really hard when it was just the two of them and when they’d most likely end up watching movies. 

“Yeah, me too… but only after we continued our Harry Potter marathon, okay?” Right, of course, how could Niall have forgotten that, they had started about a week ago and agreed to keep going until they had seen them all and since Louis hated Harry Potter, they could only watch whenever he wasn’t there. Or watch in Liam’s room because he was the only one who had his own TV.

“Right, of course. Did you get anything done while I was gone?” Judging by the look Liam threw at Niall, causing her to chuckle, he hadn’t been doing anything at all. Not that he needed it, Liam’s grades were really good and sometimes he helped Niall to study as well, but it never quite seemed to have the same results. “Well, there’s always tomorrow, right? ‘cos I’ll definitely not let you continue now.”

“Wouldn’t have expected anything else from you, Ni.” He laughed softly, squeezing her a bit before his arm slowly slipped from around her, but it was fine because the warmth he had provided still somehow stayed with Niall anyways.

The way home wasn’t too long, but it led through some pretty empty park and up an even emptier street, so of course Niall was glad that Liam was with her, holding the door open for her once they reached their building, taking the stairs instead of the elevator because the girl sometimes got slightly anxious inside, considering how old and tiny it was and everything. Usually Louis made her get in anyways, but it was different with Liam, he didn’t even ask before walking past. 

“I’ll change, okay? I’ll be quick. Thanks for picking me up, Li.” Throwing Liam another smile, Niall quickly took her shoes off as soon as they had gotten inside, disappearing inside her room with the door only halfway closed. It was just Liam after all, he had seen her in her underwear plenty of times anyways, probably also naked when they had been kids, so whatever. 

Liam half yelled something like “Hurry!” that Niall couldn’t really understand, dropping her backpack on her bed before quickly taking all her clothes off except for her underwear, pulling on some sleeping shorts and a shirt that had once belonged to Liam but had shrunk a bit too much right when they had moved in and hadn’t known how to use a washing machine. Had Niall regularly worn make up, she would have probably taken it off too before walking back outside into the living area, but she didn’t, so all she did was putting her hair up in a ponytail, smiling a bit when she saw that Liam had not only gotten them food but also blankets and pillows. 

“How much do I owe you?” Niall asked as she plopped down onto the couch next to her best friend, already having a slice of pizza in her hand, making sure to rearrange the blanket so it covered her legs. 

“Nothing, it’s alright.” Normally, the girl would have protested, but Liam didn’t really look up for discussion today at all, so she just smiled at him, putting her head on his shoulder for a moment. 

“Thank you.” He was always so sweet and only to Niall, and of course Niall was always there for Liam as well, but she was pretty sure that the brunette would have taken a bullet for her without even hesitating and knowing that made her feel pretty damn good. Who had a best friend like that, honestly? No one. “Are we at the fourth part?”

“Yep, already put it in. Got everything?” Liam checked, waiting for Niall’s nod before he turned off the lights and pressed play, their arms almost brushing as they ate but the girl barely noticed, they had always been this close and it was good because Niall didn’t really have anybody else who she would have wanted to be with like this, Liam was her family.

They made half half with their pizzas because they always did, both liking the two same kinds, sharing a bottle of coke and it was really good like this, watching a movie they had seen a hundred times before as well but it could have never gotten boring, not with Liam anyways, not when it was only the two of them. 

Niall hadn’t been joking when she had said that she was tired, eventually letting her head sink onto Liam’s shoulder, scooting a bit closer to him and breathing in the smell of cotton stuck on his shirt, linking her arm through his as she tried to stay awake for his sake because she knew there was nothing Liam hated more than having to watch movies by himself. 

At the end of the night, Niall wasn’t quite sure anymore how she had gotten into her bed.

 

\-----------

 

“You up for going out tonight?” Was the first thing Liam heard as he walked out of his room the next morning, his alarm already having gone off half an hour ago but he just hadn’t managed to get up just yet, regretting it just slightly now that he was running out of time, having thrown on the first clothes he had found. 

“Ummm, sure. How was your date?” Judging by Louis’ grin, it had gone pretty well, and though Liam didn’t really like to think of the reason why, he was alright with it since the older boy was making breakfast for what seemed to be for all three of them. It was 10 am already, so not that much of a surprise that Louis was back home, as far as Liam knew, Harry’s classes always started pretty early. 

“Great. Don’t think you need any details, do you?” It was a joke, but Liam made sure to pull the most disgusted face he could manage, making his friend laugh. “Don’t worry, wouldn’t tell you anyways. I made eggs, you want some before Niall gets up and eats the whole pan?”

“Sure, thanks.” At the mentioning of Niall, Liam started smiling without a reason, he had really enjoyed last night, even though his best friend had slept in before the movie had ended and Liam had had to half carry her to bed, but it had still been really nice. Just like it always was whenever they were alone, whenever Niall decided she wanted to be closer and cuddle for a bit. “I think I might have to wake her if she doesn’t get up soon, the bus goes in 45 minutes.”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like that, Li?” Of course Louis couldn’t hold back his stupid jokes, putting some eggs and toast on Liam’s plate before pushing it over to him across the counter as he sat on one of the bar stools since they didn’t really own a proper table or chairs. “How was last night? Did you finally finish watching those movies? How many parts even are there, 20 or something?”

“Eight. And no, we aren’t done yet.” Liam chose to ignore the first part, just because there was no point in saying anything anyways, Louis would always make these jokes, not because he was trying to hurt Liam but probably because he couldn’t really believe that Liam was still in love with Niall. It seemed kinda stupid actually, to like somebody for that long, but Liam had never met anybody like Niall, sure, he had kissed other girls, had even had sex with them, but it had never been a serious relationship or anything, he wouldn’t ever want that. Like, maybe eventually, because he’d have to get over Niall at some point but… he had never been in love with anybody else, honestly didn’t even know what it was like to not be in love with her anymore. “Maybe if you watched them you’d like them too.”

“I doubt it, but as long as you’re enjoying yourselves.” Louis shrugged, suddenly looking at something over Liam’s shoulder and before the brunette could turn around, he already knew. “Morning, Nialler.”

“Hey… “ She looked pretty tired, but she seemed to be ready to go, dressed in the skinny jeans and tank top that Liam liked on her but then again, he liked pretty much anything on her anyways. “Li, can I borrow one of your hoodies? Mine are all in the laundry bag.”

“Oh, sure, yeah, just… take whatever you want.” It was stupid, that Liam got excited about that because she wore his clothes all the time, also Louis’, so it wasn’t a big deal at all, and yet… 

“Thanks. Can I have some of that too, Lou?” Niall asked while walking past them to Liam’s room and the oldest just nodded, probably having about a billion jokes on the tip of his tongue that he was luckily holding back, instead only settling for a look at Liam’s face that the boy tried to ignore. 

When the girl came back, she was wearing one of Liam’s favorite hoodies, way too big on her of course, but she looked pretty cute as she down next to Liam and the boy really had to try and hold back his smile, liking the way she leaned close for a moment and maybe he shouldn’t have, but he just couldn’t help it as he reached out, brushing that one strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen out of place.

They walked to the bus stop by themselves a few minutes later because Louis only had classes in an hour or two and it was obvious that Niall was still more than just tired, having to hold back yawns every few seconds. “Shit… I think I _really_ need to go to bed early tonight.”

“Louis wants to go out.” Just to warn her because there was a great chance that the other boy would drag her out the door in case she refused, probably also because Liam would definitely not come along either in case Niall stayed home. Third wheeling Harry and Louis wasn’t all that much fun.

“Ugh, why again? We went last Friday too, what’s wrong with him?” Last Friday had been pretty damn boring, Liam had to admit that, but maybe that had something to do with the fact that he didn’t enjoy drinking that much in general. “Did you say yes?”

“Well… he asked me right after I got up, so… “ Liam shrugged, feeling slightly bad as Niall groaned next to him, kicking a stone with her shoe while they walked next to each other, so slowly that they were already running danger missing the bus. “We can also stay home, if you don’t wanna go, ‘m definitely not going with them on my own.”

“Oh, why not, coming along to their dates is so much fun.” Niall joked, her tone sarcastic and Liam laughed, lightly bumping his elbow into her ribs. “No, but seriously, you’re cute. But I think I’ll manage to get dressed up one more time for them, but next week we’re definitely staying home, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay.” It only took a tad too long before Liam was ready to answer, still stuck with what Niall had called him even if she did that all the freaking time and Liam hated the way he still reacted so heavily to it but how could he have not? At least that was better than mindlessly staring at her or grabbing her and kissing her or some shit. “I think we’re the worst uni students ever.”

“Nah, come on, we had our fair share of parties in the first two semesters, right? I barely remember any of them, but… “ Right, that had been pretty wild, no need mentioning though that Liam had felt pretty sober during most of them, ever since that one guy had tried to pull Niall into the toilets with him and Liam was pretty sure she didn’t remember but he did very clearly. “It’s nice to stay in though, isn’t it? And I don’t have to wear mascara or eyeliner.”

“You don’t have to wear it just because we go out, only if you want to.” Not that Liam’s opinion mattered, but if she hated it so much, she shouldn’t have to force herself.

“It’s fine, it’s only once a week, right? I’ll survive, don’t worry. You could help me paint my nails.” She sounded hopeful, but Liam was still hoping it was a joke because he had used to help Niall paint her nails black when they had been like 15, that was about 5 years in the past and it had only been to piss off her parents. “My parents would be so thrilled seeing me acting like a ‘real’ girl or whatever they call it, even though they tried to pass me off as a boy for 18 years.”

“We should send them a selfie.” Not that Liam wanted to say anything against Niall’s family, but… honestly, they had done some crazy shit. “By the way, did you call your family this week?”

“No, I might do it tomorrow when I’m hungover, makes it pass by more quickly.” Sad thing was, Niall wasn’t joking at all and Liam couldn’t even hold it against her, he wouldn’t have wanted to talk to her parents either, even though they had always really liked Liam a lot, but nothing could make up for the way they had treated Niall. “Greg’s girlfriend is gonna have her baby soon, and I’m already a bad aunt for not even knowing the month because I never talk to any of them.”

“You’re fine, Nialler, no need to know when someone you’re not even related to is gonna have her baby.” Liam tried to calm her, the conversation having taken an unexpected turn, but he didn’t mind at all, whatever Niall needed to talk about, the brunette would gladly listen and make sure she was fine. 

“Yeah, but they’ll maybe get married and then we’re kinda related… if they do, will you be my date to the weeding?” Oh.

“Yeah, sure, if you want me to.” Their families were friends though, so Liam would have probably been invited anyways, but he’d definitely not say no to pretending to be Niall’s date. It was like that time they had gone to prom together in high school, as friends of course, and with Louis, but Liam had kinda felt like it had just been him and Niall because they had danced and gotten a picture taken, which he still had in his room, embarrassingly enough.

“Thanks, Payno.” And just like that, her mood seemed to have brightened immensely, and Liam was pretty sure that the family thing was still on her mind but he let it slip as Niall started talking about uni, just hoping that she was fine for now. Niall’s family problems had always been there though, and she had always talked to Liam about them so the brunette wasn’t too worried that she was keeping things in, she trusted him after all, right? They trusted each other with everything.

 

\-------------

 

Niall was slightly annoyed when she went through her closet, looking for that one shirt she pretty much always wore when they went out, something she’d never wear outside for any other occasion, but it did kinda seem appropriate now. The reason why she was a bit pissed off was because not only was she tired from being at uni for like 8 hours, but also, she had attempted to curl her hair before and _of course_ had burned herself, and then gotten mascara in her eye and luckily she didn’t own any high heels because she would have killed someone if she had had to wear them now.

Looking in the mirror once she was done, Niall didn’t hate what she saw but she also wasn’t too pumped about her looks, maybe if she had had bigger boobs, but… she didn’t actually mind that, whatever, she always looked like this when she went out with the guys, and none of them would have even noticed if she had changed something. Well, Liam probably would have, but Niall wasn’t trying to impress him or anything, so…

“You look nice.” Of course Liam made sure to tell her that as soon as she walked out of her room, still barefoot, but otherwise fully dressed, putting up a smile as she tried to get over her slightly bad mood. Liam was so sweet, he was just trying to make her feel better, she didn’t want to act pissy about it. 

“Thanks. You too, bean.” He did, but Liam always looked really good so it wasn’t really a surprise, was it? “Do you still know how to paint nails?”

“You weren’t joking this morning, huh? Come here.” Petting the empty space next to him on the couch, Liam turned the TV on mute, a smile on his face and Niall was pretty damn sure that no one in the world would have managed to be excited about painting some girl’s nails. “I don’t make any promises though, so if I mess up… “

“Don’t worry, I suck at it too.” Actually, Niall didn’t even know why she wanted her nails painted, but she still got onto the couch next to Liam, pulling up her legs as she handed him the nail polish, the only one she owned, automatically breathing in the boy’s cologne. He smelled good, but it was also really familiar, having used the same cologne for years, and Niall felt herself relax a little bit. “Where’re Louis and Harry?”

“In Louis’ room, where else? It’d be a wonder if we ever left on time.” Liam rolled his eyes, softly taking one of Niall’s hands and placing it on her knee that she had pulled to her chest, seemingly concentrated as he opened the nail polish bottle. “Alright, here we go… what’s that?”

“Huh? Oh, I burned myself with the hair curler before.” Of course the brunette’s eyes had immediately gone to the sore spot on the back of Niall’s hand that she had been trying so desperately to ignore. “It’s fine, barely hurts.”

“Are you sure? I’ll get you a band aid after we’re done here.” No need to argue because Liam would have done it anyways, so instead, Niall allowed herself to feel a bit warmer, knowing that her best friend was making this too much of a deal than it really was, but then again, it was just because he really cared about her. 

Liam did an amazing job painting Niall’s nails, they barely talked because he was so concentrated, biting his bottom lip and the girl just stared at his face instead of her own hands, at some points impressed by how serious Liam was taking this but then a second later she had to try not to laugh when he got annoyed with himself about messing up in the slightest way, even if it was barely noticeable. 

“Alright, maybe I should do that one nail again, it’s-“

“Li, it’s perfect, okay? Thank you so much.” Since Niall couldn’t really touch anything for the next few minutes, it was a bit awkward when she leaned over to kiss his cheek, immediately afterwards going back to blowing on her nails, trying to quicken up the drying process. “I think you’re becoming a pro at this.”

“Yeah, maybe, I… I’ll get you a band aid now, okay?” Liam had gotten up before Niall could even look at him, but she didn’t really think anything of it anyways, just watching the muted TV while trying to ignore any sounds coming from Louis’ closed bedroom door. They were just laughing in there, so hopefully nothing naughty was going on, but Niall and Liam had become witness of more things than anyone ever should have.

When the brunette boy came back, Niall’s nails were halfway dry, but Liam still insisted that he needed to be the one to apply the healing cream and though Niall wasn’t sure whether that was even necessary, she just let him while watching TV, holding back the small whine of pain when Liam touched her wound a bit too roughly before putting a band aid on top. 

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” He sounded worried, probably having seen the way Niall’s face had scrunched up but she immediately made sure to shake her head, putting up a smile. 

“No, I’m good, thanks, Li, again, don’t know what I’d do without you.” Honestly though, who’d else help Niall out with these things? Like yeah, she did have friends who were girls as well, but Liam had been her only friend for a while when they had been younger and the only one else she could have asked back then had been his two older sisters. 

“No problem, next time I’ll do your hair too. But you’re pretty good at that, I probably can’t keep up.” Another complement, though kinda hidden, but it still made Niall smile, allowing her best friend to push that one strand of hair out of her face that always seemed to fall out of place. “Um… I’ll go see if Louis and Harry are finally done with… whatever they are up to.”

“Please just knock though, I really don’t wanna see what’s happening in there.” Niall’s nails were almost dry by now as Liam got up again, but she kept blowing on them while watching him walk over to Louis’ door, which was literally right there because all their rooms were and the flat was fucking small, sharing a look with Niall because he was clearly unsure. “Just knock, we’re already ten minutes later than we wanted to be anyways.”

“Alright… “ Clearing his throat, Liam softly knocked a few times on the door, then a bit harder when there was no real answer. “Louis? Harry? Are you guys… ready? Thought we wanted to leave soon.”

“Yeah, give us five minutes!” Was all Louis yelled back, causing both Niall and Liam to roll their eyes at each other at the same time. Then again, Niall wasn’t too keen on going out anyways, so she didn’t actually mind, it was just because she had already put that make up on and taken that burn wound so now she didn’t want that suffering to turn out to be for nothing.

Liam just walked over to the kitchen area instead of answering, there was no use anyways in arguing with them and they all knew it. The brunette was rummaging through some cupboards while Niall turned on the sound of the TV again before zapping through the channels, still blowing on her nails just to be sure, kinda admiring them a little bit too because Liam had definitely done a brilliant job with those. 

“Here.” Falling back onto his place on the couch, Liam handed Niall an already opened bottle of beer, which was slightly unexpected but the girl took it anyways, since apparently they’d be sitting here for a while longer, they might as well start with something to drink, right? “What’re we watching?”

“Don’t know, still searching.” Just because, Niall somehow automatically moved her legs over her best friend’s lap, and they stayed like that for at least another half an hour, not really talking that much but rather watching whatever was on the telly, Liam’s arm loosely wrapping around Niall’s legs and once Harry and Louis finally decided to show up, it actually took a bit of convincing from Liam’s side until Niall finally grabbed his hand to let him pull her up and out of the familiar comfortableness they had fallen into. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all though, as long as Liam was there, they’d always manage to have some fun. 

 

\------------------

 

“Li, why’re you so pressed, huh? Another drink won’t kill you… probably. C’mon, loosen up a bit.” The fifth time Louis tried to get Liam to drink some more, the other boy almost snapped. He already felt slightly tipsy, head spinning just slightly, but not to a point where he wouldn’t have been in control of himself anymore and he wouldn’t want to change that, especially not while Niall had gone to the toilets. “She’ll be fine, mate, she’s a big girl.”

“I’m not… it’s not even about that.” Liam was only slightly annoyed that his friend had looked right through him, quickly looking away from where he had been searching through the crowd for her, he probably wouldn’t have seen her anyways. Still, if she wasn’t back in five minutes, no one would keep Liam from going to look for her. “Someone’s gotta stay sober, right? How else are we gonna get a taxi back home?”

“I’m pretty sober, actually.” Harry threw in, they were both sitting opposite of Liam, their table kinda shitty but it was alright, they had been here for a while, had met some people from uni and Niall had pulled Liam with her for a while to dance and though the brunette boy didn’t really enjoy doing that, he had done it anyways, for her, and it hadn’t been all that bad. “But it’s fine, Liam, Louis is just joking, right, babe?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Louis just shrugged, emptying his glass and though he did usually drink a lot without really being affected by it, his laughter was already a bit too loud and his jokes getting dirtier and that wasn’t something Liam cared about at all, however… Niall was kinda the same tonight. “Look, there she is, now you can finally stop worrying, Payno.”

Before Liam could whip his head around to search for Niall’s face between all these people, feeling relief spreading through him, the brunette boy was surprised with the sudden weight dropping onto his lap and the arms wrapping around his neck, immediately causing his cheeks to grow even warmer. Drunk Niall usually was a lot of fun to be around. 

“Hey… everything alright?” Liam’s hands had somehow automatically gone to Niall’s thin hips, only to steady her on his lap of course because she didn’t seem as if she wanted to get off again any time soon and though Liam did feel himself blushing a bit, it was way worth it. 

“’m fine, Payno, barely any creepy guys on the toilets. Although, ‘m pretty damn sure someone was fucking in the stall next to me.” Her breath smelled like alcohol, the lipgloss she had worn kinda smeared off by now and the curls she had put into her thick hair starting to straighten out again and yet… yet Liam couldn’t help but think that she was bloody gorgeous like this, sitting on his lap, face right in front of his, her weight barely impacting him. “What’re we talking about?”

“You, actually. Liam was up and ready to go punch someone if they only look at you.” Of course Louis was having his fun again, Harry even tried to make him shut up by playfully swatting his arm, but he was grinning a bit as well and Liam didn’t care too much anyways, what else would he have wanted right now? 

“Awww, you’re so cute, bean.” To make matters even worse, Niall tightened her arms around Liam’s neck, pressing her lips against his cheek and maybe it was wrong, but Liam didn’t try to stop her, telling himself that there was no use anyways, his nose filling with her perfume and shampoo, soft hair brushing against his face and neck. “Nothing happened though, t’was pretty boring actually, I almost slipped, but I didn’t luckily, I think someone pissed on the floor, pretty damn gross. Would have thought it’s something you would do, Lou, but it was the girl’s bathroom.”

“Oh, yeah? Something I would do? Well, at least I did what we agreed on and you’re running two glasses short, Nialler, you’re slacking.” Wait, what? 

“I just took a quick break, nothing else.” Niall suddenly seemed determined to drink some more and Liam already had his mouth open to protest, wanting to tell her that she had had enough because her eyes were already a bit glassy, but he closed it once more, steadying her when she moved off of his lap, standing back up. Oh, this was just great. “Who’s up for another round? Li?”

“Uh, no, thanks. Ni, don’t you think you maybe-“

“Me, I won’t let a girl beat me.” Of course Louis was just joking, but it was still enough to immediately get out Niall’s competitive side, which didn’t take much at all, but if it came to this, Liam would have rather Louis had just kept his mouth shut. “I’m comin’ with you, gotta make sure you’re not getting something lighter for yourself.”

“As if.” For a moment, Liam almost felt jealous as he watched Louis going with Niall, still seeing their banter though he couldn’t hear them anymore, their laughs as they were teasing each other. But they were just drunk, they always acted like this whenever they went out. 

“They’ll be fine.” Harry almost caused Liam to flinch, even if they had to half yell at each other across the table anyways. 

“Yeah, I know, I just… I worry about what Louis does when he gets drunk, and I worry even more about what Niall does and the two of them together _and_ drunk is like… “ Liam’s worst nightmare pretty much, because whenever those two stopped fighting for a second and actually agreed on something, there was no need to try and be reasonable with them anymore. 

“I know, but it’ll be fine, Li, they’ll be back in a few minutes.” Hopefully, because Liam wasn’t afraid to go look for them if they didn’t, which was kinda stupid, because Harry was sitting there being all calm even though Louis was his boyfriend while Liam already freaked out whenever Niall just went to the bathroom. But it was different, Niall was a girl, and it’s not that Liam was having double standards, he was just trying to keep her safe, because he always had. “Hey, if anybody would touch her, you know Louis would kill them.”

“Yeah… I’d just rather do it myself.” Just to make sure it _really_ hurt, like that one boy who had asked Niall out as a joke when she had been 13 and yeah, there had also been jealousy involved, but it had still been very satisfying to punch that arse in the face, in the middle of the hallway, and yeah, Liam had ended up at the headmaster’s, but it had been worth it. Especially after his mother had gotten done yelling at him and Niall had sneaked into his room in the middle of the night just to hug him tightly and thank him. 

“You guys would both be the cutest but also the most annoying couple in the world.” It wasn’t a secret, that Harry knew, but Liam still felt his cheeks turning even redder than they had already been from before, even if it only sounded like a simple statement if anything. 

“We won’t ever be, so… “ Liam shrugged, trying to keep his face neutral, knowing better than to get angry. He would have tried it with Louis, but it was different with Harry, he wasn’t teasing Liam about it after all, had even tried to encourage him a time or twenty. That was fine though, Liam wasn’t thinking about how sad he was all day, how one day Niall would find somebody else, it was fine, they had always been this, ever since they had been 4 or 5 years old, and they’d probably never be more and that was alright. 

“You’ll never know if you don’t give it a shot.” Was all Harry said, throwing a meaningful glance at the other boy but Liam had no idea what he expected him to do. He had almost told Niall, a hundred times or more, of course he had, but he was pretty sure that if he actually did tell her, made sure she took him seriously, that all she would do was hug him tightly, kiss his cheek and then pity him for a week before going back to normal. There was no point.

Before Liam could really come up with something smart to say, Louis and Niall were back with a whole bottle, their grins way too huge, but there was nothing Liam could have said when he let Niall climb over him once more, relieved that at least Harry would be sharing the taxi bill with him because by the looks of it, they’d have to half carry the other two outside.

Why exactly did Liam almost always agree to going out with them when Niall hadn’t even wanted to in the first place? It was his own fault if anyone’s.

 

\-----------------

 

When they got home that night it was way after 4 am. Niall and Louis hadn’t actually finished that bottle, thank god, because before they could have, Niall had half fallen asleep on Liam’s shoulder and Harry had finally stepped in and taken the rest from Louis, much to Liam’s appreciation. Getting Niall to the car hadn’t been difficult at all, she was a clingy drunk, but she was also very light and Liam could have carried her if necessary, while Louis… not so much.

They did all make it home in a piece though, and even upstairs somehow, but it still ended with Louis throwing up in the dustbin, and before Liam could feel his stomach rebel at the sounds and smell, Niall was throwing up in the toilet at the other end of the flat. Thank god Harry had gone out with them. 

“It’s okay, Nialler, I’m here… “ She probably couldn’t really understand him and in all honesty, Liam was kinda more trying to calm himself down while holding back her hair, thinking of himself as a pretty great friend right now but then again… Niall had done the same for him, not the hair holding obviously, but their places had been switched and it didn’t happen all the time just… sometimes. For some reason, Liam still blamed himself for all of this, like yeah, Niall was 20 years old, she should have been able to know when to stop and yet… yet there was this nagging feeling in the pit of Liam’s stomach, feeling responsible for whatever happened to her. “You’ll feel better in a bit, okay? Just… let it out.”

Rubbing her back with his free hand, Liam had to hold his breath for a bit, more than relieved when Niall actually managed to flush the toilet herself during a quick break, only dry heaving a bit afterwards before she simply dropped her head on the lid of the toilet, breathing kinda heavily, her body still trembling underneath Liam’s hand. Thank god she was done or the brunette boy would have been throwing up in the sink in a few minutes. “Shit… “

“You alright, Ni? Are you done? It’s fine, yeah? I’m here.” Probably not very helpful, she must’ve been feeling like absolute crap, but there was nothing Liam could have done other than to try and make it as bearable as possible. This wasn’t the first time after all. “I’ll get you some water, okay? It’ll be alright, Nialler.”

“Okay… ‘m sorry, Li.” Her words still sounded like a slur and Liam just sighed, petting her back softly before getting up to fill her toothbrush cup with some water before getting back down to his knees, slightly worried when Niall slowly attempted to sit up properly, wiping some tears out of her eyes, smearing her mascara across her skin. “Thanks… “

“Can you hold that by yourself?” Just to be sure, Liam kept his hand underneath the cup too as she drank, not a lot of it but at least something, the faint sounds of Louis still puking in the kitchen coming through to the bathroom. That had certainly not been a very successful night. “Next Friday, we’ll stay in, okay? And no more drinking competitions with Louis. C’mon, let’s get you to bed.”

No idea if Niall fully agreed with everything Liam had said, she just kept wiping at her face and trying to keep her balance, allowing him to help her up, half carrying her too because she was still pretty damn drunk and clumsy, face pushed against Liam’s neck and her arms tightly around his waist, probably so she wouldn’t fall. That’d make one terrible hangover in the morning. 

“You alright, Haz?” Liam made sure to ask as he helped Niall out of the bathroom, glad that her room was exactly opposite of it, but he could still see Louis hunched over the dustbin and Harry next to him, giving Liam a thumbs up and a pretty exhausted look. Maybe also slightly disgusted and Liam couldn’t hold it against him because Louis clearly had it worse than Niall.

“Liam… “ Niall tried, almost stumbling for the tiniest second where Liam wasn’t holding onto her because he needed to turn on the lights, his heart almost stopping as he thought about her getting hurt just because he hadn’t been paying attention. 

“Yeah?” This was the hardest part, like sure, Liam could have just put the girl to bed like that, but… she was wearing pretty damn tight black jeans and it couldn’t have been comfortable to sleep in those and also… he had done this plenty of times, had helped her undress when she was drunk, and he knew she would have wanted him to, just… 

“I… I’m really… dizzy and… “ There was a hiccup and the brunette boy was only listening to her rambling with one ear anyways, hesitating for only a moment before starting to undo her jeans, telling himself that this was no big deal, it wasn’t creepy either because Niall had once gotten mad at him for not taking off her damn jeans and letting her sleep with them, so whatever. “I don’t… don’t wanna sleep alone.”

That was the second problem, how clingy she got when she was tired and drunk, and Liam knew he himself was exactly the same way, but he never really got that drunk, so no one had to really deal with that. Especially not someone who was as tempted as him to just give in and use it to his advantage. “I know…. Hold onto my shoulders, okay? And step out of your jeans, slowly, don’t fall.”

Niall did as she had been told, and Liam knew it was pretty inappropriate but he almost had had to laugh when he had pulled down her pants and had seen her Pokémon underwear that Louis had once gotten her as a joke. Well, at least Niall had not been fooling around when she had told Liam that she couldn’t care less what she wore underneath her clothes because no one would ever see, there had been some sort of bitterness in her voice, but the brunette boy really hadn’t wanted to think about that back then. 

“Alright, get into bed… or wait, actually, give me your arm.” She hated going to sleep with her hair open and maybe normal best friends weren’t required to know that, but Liam had known this girl almost all his life, so he gently grabbed her arm while Niall was still trying to process what he had said, taking the hair tie that was around her wrist before softly attempting to turn her around. Liam was actually kinda good at tying her hair up into a pony tail, needing a bit longer than maybe necessary, but to his defense, he wanted to make sure to make it right, even if Niall started giggling in between, moving around a bit too much. “Okay… c’mon, get into bed.”

“You’re so fucking sweet… “ Was all Niall slurred out, her arms wrapping a bit too fast around Liam’s neck as for him to really do anything about it, so he quickly hugged her back, trying to get his heartbeat to slow down, telling himself that there was no need to get excited about this now, he needed to make sure she got her sleep, couldn’t let this get to him, she was just drunk anyways. “Wouldn’t know… what ‘t do without you, bean, and… damn, I’m dizzy… “

“I know, you just need to sleep it off, Ni… get into bed.” Even though Liam kinda had to force himself, he did manage to unwrap Niall from around himself, throwing back the blanket for her, one arm still around her waist, just to steady her of course. “Alright?”

“Yeah, I… I got… make up in my eye.” For some reason, that caused Niall to laugh again once Liam had finally managed to get her to lie down, sitting on the edge of the mattress just because, watching her rubbing over her left eye again and again until he grabbed her wrist to make her stop. “It hurts, Li… “

“Okay, wait, I… one second, stay in bed, okay?” Was there anything Liam wouldn’t do for her? Probably not.

There were some complaints coming from behind that the brunette boy ignored as he shortly searched through Niall’s room until he had found what he had been looking for, glad to see that the girl was still in bed and tucked in as well, her eye red and now black as well from the make up, undoubtedly bound to make her regret going out even more in the morning. Well, not if Liam helped her out. “I knew I shouldn’t have put any of that on… I’ll throw it all away tomorrow… what… what’re you doin’?“

“I’ll make it stop hurting, close your eyes.” Since Niall barely ever used any make up, Liam hadn’t been quite sure how she took it off, but he had found some make up remover wipes on her desk and had remembered that one time she had insisted she needed practice and put her mascara on Liam instead, taking it off with these things afterwards, so surely, it had to work somehow, right? 

“That hurts too… “ Niall complained, but she did keep her eyes closed as Liam tried to be as gentle as somehow possible while moving the wipes over her skin, her fingers wrapping around his wrist, maybe to stop him but she didn’t, just kept on complaining and moving a bit too much. 

“’m almost done… “ Not really, but Liam somehow needed to make her stop trying to pull his hand away, he was pretty sure he wasn’t actually hurting her but actually doing her a favor here. There had to be a reason why you took that stuff off at night, right? “Okay… does it still hurt, Nialler?”

“Yes… but… it’s better… “ The girl mumbled, immediately being back at rubbing her eye as soon as Liam had finished, throwing the used wipes into the dustbin somewhere next to Niall’s bed but remaining on the edge of her mattress for now, just looking down at her, resisting the urge to yet again fix her hair for her because it definitely wouldn’t help anything at all. “Li… can you stay… with me?”

“I’ll stay until you’ve slept in, okay?” And definitely no longer than that, even if judging by the looks on her face, Niall wasn’t very happy with that either. But she was drunk, Liam wouldn’t use that for himself, it’s not like they had never shared a bed, even when they had been older and up to this day, mostly because they randomly slept in while watching a movie or whatever, so really… not that big of a deal at all, but still. “Close your eyes… you’ll feel better if you do, you know.”

“Yeah… I feel like shit.” There was a bit of a chuckle before she let her hand drop behind her head, blinking a few times up at Liam before slowly letting her eyes fall closed and sighing a bit. She didn’t seem to be that extremely drunk anymore, but Liam was sure that she was just exhausted by now, which was obvious in her voice too and of course, the fact that she already almost seemed to be close to falling asleep. “Bean… ?”

“Yes?” The nickname always somehow caused Liam’s stomach to tingle, because it was Niall only who used it and though Liam maybe had been a bit embarrassed about it sometimes, he had now really come to love it because she always made it sound so fond. 

“Thanks… for always… takin’ care of me... “ She mumbled somewhere in the pillow, adjusting a bit underneath the blanket and Liam made sure it didn’t slip, making sure to tuck her in properly, only flinching a little bit when her hand wrapped around his, just holding onto it. “Love you… “

“Love you too, Ni… go to sleep, okay? ‘m here… ” Liam’s heart was beating a bit faster, but he kept it together, smiling a bit to himself even though Niall couldn’t even see, but she was still holding onto his hand, so he kept on sitting there, for a moment turning off his brain as he leaned down over her, kissing her forehead. “And I’m always gonna be here for you… “


	2. Chapter 2

Niall’s head was hurting when she woke up, her mouth feeling as if some animal had died in it and her bra stinging in every way possible. Shit, she really shouldn’t have listened to Louis last night, shouldn’t have let him get her all competitive and stuff, but then again… it had been kinda fun, especially because she hadn’t even wanted to go out to begin with, and though she didn’t clearly remember everything that had happened, she did remember puking in the toilet and Liam bringing her to bed, but that was pretty much it.

It wasn’t too early in the morning as Niall grabbed her phone from the nightstand, the light hurting her eyes for a moment. There were a few messages from some of her friends that she completely ignored for now, one from her mum that she had no interest in reading, so Niall put her phone back, the light from outside shining through the curtains enough so that she could see the glass of water on the bedside table before almost knocking it down, and the small pill as well, along with a note in Liam’s handwriting. 

 

_take it easy :)_

 

He was so cute, always there for Niall, always dealing with her even if she was drunk and probably annoying as hell, and he had always been this way, even when they had been kids. Taking the pill with a gulp of water, Niall forced herself to get out of bed, even if her head was still stinging, but it wasn’t the worst hangover she had ever had, so she managed to actually stand up, walk over to the window and fully pull back the curtains, feeling slightly calmer as she watched the rain dripping down the glass.

The weather wasn’t surprising at all, but somehow it still made Niall happy today, even if she felt a little bit crappy, just randomly grabbing a few comfortable clothes before locking herself in the bathroom, glad that none of the others seemed to be up yet. Considering the fact that Louis had been drinking as much as she had or even more, he probably wouldn’t get up until the afternoon or something and then be in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Nothing unusual. 

It felt good to shower, wash her hair and then afterwards finally brush her teeth and get rid of that awful taste in her mouth, looking in the mirror for a while, not finding anything weird about that before she suddenly realized. Right, she hadn’t taken off her make up last night or anything, and yet there was nothing left, it wasn’t even smeared or anything at all, so… wait. 

Had Liam taken it off for her? Niall could barely remember, but a few memories did come back to her as she kept brushing her teeth and tried to solve that mystery. It had definitely been Liam, who else, right? The fact that he had even done that for Niall caused her stomach to grow warmer, immediately knowing just how exactly she was gonna spend that morning. And where.

They had been doing this thing ever since they had moved in here, not every Saturday, but a lot of them, and though Niall didn’t usually do it whenever she was hungover, she felt a lot better after getting clean and dressing in new things, hair still wet as she put her old clothes in the laundry before walking out of the bathroom, kinda excited about doing this.

“Hey… didn’t think you’d be the first to be up.” Harry was in the kitchen as soon as Niall approached it, not very surprised to see him though because as far as she could remember, he had stayed pretty sober, just like Liam. “How’re you doing? Louis has been up in bed moaning about how terrible he’s feeling for the past thirty minutes.”

“Doesn’t surprise me too much, he’s always whiny like that.” The girl only half joked, grinning when Harry tried to glare at her even though deep down, he knew that she was right anyways. “My head hurts a bit, but I’m good… what’re you making?”

“Just some tea for Louis… do you want some?” He was here so often that he knew his way around the kitchen, and it’s not like he was eating all their food or something, usually Harry brought his own stuff anyways, and even if he hadn’t, they wouldn’t have minded either ways, he was their friend after all.

“No thanks… ‘m making myself something else. Is Liam up?” Because if so, that’d kinda ruin Niall’s plan, but his door was shut and there was no light coming through underneath, so maybe the girl was lucky. 

“Don’t think so, I haven’t seen him.” Harry just shrugged and Niall took it like that as she went through the fridge, trying to quickly decide on what exactly she was planning on making. 

“Did I like… do anything weird last night? I can’t remember everything.” Just to check, it couldn’t have been too crazy because Harry would have probably already brought it up, but Niall still wanted to know, even if she felt slightly embarrassed for not remembering everything that had happened. Not her worst night, but… she definitely needed to take it easy the next few weeks, also for Liam’s sake. 

“Louis asked me the exact same question before, but no, you both were… drunk and a little over eager to top each other and eventually you gave up and half passed out on Liam so I took the bottle from Louis and then, well… we brought you home and you both threw up, so nothing special, really.” Actually, the fact that this was normal was really sad, Niall needed to definitely change that, not like she did this every week, but still. “But before you get upset, I don’t think Louis still knows that you were the one who backed out first.”

“Thanks, that’s… comforting.” Not really. “Did I get onto Liam’s nerves too much? Just because I… I know I get annoying when I’m drunk, so.”

“Didn’t seem like it, you did sit on his lap and you were kinda clingy with him, but he didn’t seem to mind and he was with you when you had to throw up and brought you to bed afterwards, so I think it’s all good.” The boy threw a smile at her and Niall relaxed a bit, Harry probably wouldn’t lie to her like that and also… Liam had brought her to bed after all, she knew that, and he had also left her the note and everything, and anyways, after what she was about to do, he would definitely forgive her for being a pain in the ass last night. “You know he’d always be there for you, no matter how annoying you’d get.”

“Yeah, I know, just… don’t have to push it, right?” Not that Niall would ever do that on purpose, but she did feel a little bit bad that Liam always had to worry about her, even if he of course didn’t have to but… it was Liam. 

“Yeah, I guess… are you making all of that for yourself?” It didn’t seem like Harry would have been too surprised had Niall said yes, but she just shook her head as she put even more toast into the toaster, at the same time getting out a pan from the cupboard.

“No, I… it’s for Liam as well.” A little bit as an apology for last night, but mostly because it was their Saturday thing, at first only because Liam had had the only TV in his room for the first few months of living here and they had used to watch the rerun of that one show they both liked and then they had just kept doing it and had started eating breakfast in his bed and … it was fun, still to this day. 

“Oh, right, you still do this sometimes, I almost forgot, but didn’t they cancel that show you always watched?” Well…

“Yeah, they did but… we can watch other stuff.” Niall just shrugged, not wanting this to sound weird or anything, because it wasn’t, they were just best friends eating breakfast together, that was totally fine, right? 

“Right.” Was all Harry answered to that, and for some reason, Niall didn’t really feel an urge to meet his eyes anymore afterwards.

Since Harry had only been making tea, he was done a lot more quickly than Niall, wishing her fun with Liam which could be taken many ways before going back to Louis’ room with a cup of tea and the girl had to bite the inside of her cheek so she wouldn’t laugh when she heard Louis moan about how bad he felt for the moment the door was open.

One thing Niall hadn’t considered though was that getting into Liam’s room with a tray full of stuff wasn’t easy at all, and she knew that maybe she should have knocked first of all because they were adults and Liam always knocked on her door as well, but… he was just asleep, right? And even if he wasn’t, well… he didn’t have to immediately be having a wank or whatever.

Niall actually almost tripped over her own feet trying to open Liam’s door with only her elbow, immediately being met by darkness and only the brunette’s breathing being audible, causing her to feel just lightly relieved even though she had been pretty sure that he was asleep anyways. Of course the boy started to stir as soon as Niall moved into his room, momentarily placing the tray on his bedside table before quickly going to open up his curtains, just a bit to let some light in, not really intending to wake him that suddenly, but… it kinda seemed unavoidable.

“Ugh… what’s goin’ on?” His voice was raspy and deep, barely understandable as he mumbled into his pillow and Niall almost felt bad, but she was pretty sure her best friend would have forgiven her in about five minutes. 

“Nothing, just waking you up.” Closing the door because they didn’t need the other two to come in here and try to steal some of their breakfast or so, Niall couldn’t help but smile as she watched Liam still being half asleep in his double bed, almost having kicked off his whole blanket, lying on his stomach without a shirt and low riding sweatpants and the girl was pretty sure that a lot of people at uni would have killed to be her right now. Not that that made her feel special or anything, she had known Liam for way too long, but it was no denying that he was definitely not bad looking. “D’you want some breakfast?”

“What… Niall? What… what’re you doing, I thought… “ He had probably been thinking that Niall would sleep a few hours longer, and if not, that she’d be in a bad mood. 

“I thought maybe you wanted some breakfast in bed, since it’s Saturday and all, y’know.” The blonde girl explained, already getting into the other half of Liam’s bed, using one of the many pillows he had and stuffing it behind her back, trying to adjust the blanket a little bit for Liam so he wouldn’t get cold as he slowly started to blink his eyes open. “Are you awake?”

“Gimme a second… “ Liam let out a huge yawn after turning on his back, rubbing at his eyes before turning his head a bit, sleepily looking up at the girl sitting next to him on the bed, not being able to hide her smile. “Are you… feeling any better?”

“Yep, ‘m doing just fine. I actually… kinda wanted to apologize for last night and also say thank you and I was kinda feeling like making some breakfast for us, so… “ Putting the tray on her lap, Niall grinned down at Liam, knowing that she had already won when the boy’s face brightened up a bit, a small smile appearing on his lips as he attempted to sit up as well. “Sorry for waking you.”

“It’s fine… I’m definitely not mad if I’m getting woken up by breakfast in bed.” He seemed to mean it, pulling the blanket with him as he leaned against the wall behind his bed just like Niall, moving a little bit closer so the girl could place half the tray on one of Liam’s legs as well, happiness spreading in her stomach as she took in the way his face changed as he looked at everything she had brought. “Damn… you really didn’t have to try so hard, Nialler, and you don’t have to apologize either, it’s fine, I didn’t mind last night, but still… thank you. Are you sure you’re alright though?”

“Yeah, got a bit of a headache but I’m sure that’ll pass soon, I’ve had much worse. Seems like Louis feels bad enough for the both of us.” Trying to suppress a grin because it actually wasn’t funny at all, Niall put a spoonful of cereal into her mouth, moving around just a bit so she’d be more comfortable, her leg pressing against Liam’s with the blanket in between. 

“Is he awake too?” Liam asked while blowing gently into his cup of tea, a different one that Harry had been making because thank god Niall knew exactly what Liam’s favorite of everything was. 

“I think so, Harry was up making him tea and he said Louis is up complaining about how bad he’s feeling. I knew I could take way more than him.” That comment only caused Liam to roll his eyes and Niall gently bumped her elbow into his ribs, smirking at him. “Just kidding, I know I shouldn’t have gone that far and… I won’t do it again, I was just… I don’t know, I was already drunk and then… “

“It’s alright, as long as nothing happened and you’re feeling fine now, yeah? And I was there watching out for you, so.” He shrugged, his face immediately having gotten softer at Niall’s confession, and though she had known exactly that would happen, she had still truly meant it. “Wanna watch some telly? Maybe there’s something decent on.”

“Sure, why not, maybe if you turn the volume high enough Louis can enjoy it too.” He’d probably be over in less than two minutes to beat their asses and Niall knew that Liam would have never done that anyways, but that didn’t keep her from imaging the scenario of course. Fighting with Louis was just too much fun, but it never really got mean or anything, it was like siblings fighting and in some ways Louis kinda was like Niall’s older brother, a brother who liked her compared to her _real_ older brother Greg. Somehow that was funny because Niall didn’t see Liam as her brother at all even though they were so close, but Liam… he was just Liam, the one person Niall knew she’d always be able to count on to be right there by her side. Just imaging them not being friends anymore at some point seemed impossible, even years in the future, they knew each other inside out, what could have possibly caused them to not talk anymore?

“Let’s let him live a little bit longer, okay? He’s gonna be grumpy enough when he finally does get up.” Liam sighed, probably genuinely worried about their friend and Niall just let it be, continuing to eat her breakfast while Liam zapped through the channels. “Do you have any homework?”

“Yeah, but it’ll probably take me less than an hour, you?” Everyone knew that Niall would keep that until Sunday anyways, she wasn’t one to immediately get stuff done and it was fine because even though it got slightly stressful in the end, she still somehow always managed to do everything, even if Liam always tried to tell her that one day she’d regret it, but so far, she never had.

“Same… although, you do have another homework too.” His voice had gotten a bit more careful, finally settling on a channel they could watch and Niall was just confused as she waited for her friend to continue, obviously not really excited about what he had to say. “You gotta call your parents.”

“Well, I don’t _have_ to.” Niall argued, immediately knowing why Liam had gotten this way, talking about her family was never much fun at all, but she knew that if she didn’t call anymore, things would just eventually get worse and they’d never talk again probably, and Liam knew that as well. 

“No, but you should, I… I talked to my mum yesterday and she asked me whether you already called home.” Right, their parents were friends of course, also didn’t live very far from each other back at home, and that was another factor that kinda forced Niall to keep in touch with her own family, even if she liked Liam’s family about 10 times more. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll call them… later or so, my mum texted me something, but I didn’t read it yet.” Shrugging, Niall purposely avoided Liam’s eyes, instead keeping hers on the television, filling her mouth with more food just so she wouldn’t have to answer immediately. 

“Ni… it won’t be so bad, okay? I can call them with you if you want.” Surprisingly, Liam didn’t scold her for ignoring the text message and Niall immediately felt bad as she looked over, almost feeling a little weird underneath his soft stare and the offer he had made. This boy would have genuinely walked through fire for her, wouldn’t he?

“No, I… it’s okay, I… I’ll call them tomorrow I think… thanks though.” Smiling at the boy, Niall quickly made sure to look away again, made sure her face was neutral so they could just drop the whole topic because really, there was nothing left to say and she didn’t need Liam to start worrying about her again. “Do you want those strawberries? We didn’t have too much anymore and I brought the last ones.”

“No, you can have them.” Liam was still looking at her face from the side but Niall completely ignored it, just thanking him before filling her mouth with strawberries this time, even if they didn’t really fit to anything else they were having. Luckily, Liam got the hint. “So… what’re we gonna do on the weekend?”

“Hmmm… I don’t know. We could… do some grocery shopping later, maybe? I think we need some stuff and then… I don’t know, we’ll find something, it’ll probably rain the whole time anyways.” Sometimes they did hang out with other friends of course, but usually it was just the two of them and Harry and Louis and that was fine, Niall had never had that many friends and honestly, she wasn’t even sure if she would have wanted more, she liked those three. “We could continue our Harry Potter marathon, Louis won’t be able to get out of bed until way later and then he can’t complain when we’re already in the middle of it.”

“You’re so smart.” Liam joked and Niall rolled her eyes as he laughed at her, the mood luckily brighter once more, which was good because that had been the whole point of Niall even doing this. Well, and also because she had wanted to say thank you, and maybe a little bit because Liam’s bed was a lot bigger than hers and he had a TV and the girl was still tired. But mostly the first part.

 

\------------------------

 

They did what Niall had suggested, went grocery shopping on Saturday after finally getting out of bed hours later and Liam had been so happy about how Niall had made breakfast and brought it into his bed that he didn’t even complain later in the supermarket when the girl almost bumped into every shelve with the shopping cart and later demanded she wanted to sit in it while Liam pushed it. That was just Niall, so Liam let her, trying to get rid of that fond feeling rising inside of him. Thank god she was alright, she really hadn’t seemed so well the night before.

The rest of the day, they kept lying on the couch in the living area watching Harry Potter, until Louis and Harry came to join, but only for a little bit because the older boy claimed his headache was killing him and Liam quickly made sure to throw a meaningful glance at Niall so she wouldn’t start yet another fight him, instead asking her to help him make some dinner, even if it resulted in Liam doing all the work and the girl sitting on the counter and playing food critic. Typical Saturday night, actually.

On Sunday, it was still raining, so they basically continued to do the exact same thing, Liam was able to convince Niall to do her homework half-heartedly and finally call her parents even though it was already pretty late at night and Harry had already left. So when she came back to join Liam and Louis on the couch quite a while after, it was obvious that something was up with her, but Liam didn’t really wanna speak up in front of Louis and embarrass her.

Niall was already in her pajamas, not wearing that one old shirt of Liam’s she sometimes had on and had the brunette boy not been so worried about the look on her face, he might have been just slightly disappointed. It was stupid really, but he really liked whenever Niall borrowed and wore his clothes, even if she just did it because they were too big on her and comfortable, but Liam would definitely not complain.

“You alright?” The TV was pretty loud, but Liam kept his voice down as he asked her as soon as she was back, letting her crawl back underneath the blanket they shared, arms brushing because of how close they were and the boy tried his best to ignore it, just trying to focus on how Niall’s face looked a little bit as if she had been crying. Shit, had she fought with her parents again?

“I’m… fine.” Niall answered after some slight hesitation, throwing a very fake smile at Liam which clearly showed that she wasn’t, however, if she didn’t want to talk about it, there was nothing much Liam could have done. At least Louis didn’t know that she had just left for half an hour to call her parents or maybe he would have asked her as well, not to be mean but… it would have probably come off this way to Niall. “Sorry I took so long… did I miss anything?”

“No… Louis changed the channel five times I have no idea anymore what we were even watching.” Louis wasn’t sitting so close to them so Liam only had to lower his voice a little bit more, plus he seemed very intrigued by whatever was on, so the brunette wasn’t too worried. 

“Me neither, actually.” The girl just shrugged, still not looking too happy and Liam hesitated as he threw another look at her before slowly lifting his arm, gently letting it fall around her shoulders instead, so she could have pulled away if she had wanted to, but instead, she made him really happy by immediately snuggling closer into him, head in the crook of his shoulder and arm wrapping around his stomach. Something had _definitely_ happened, no matter how much Liam was enjoying this, the reason why she wanted to cuddle with him was probably because she wasn’t feeling well after that phone call. Great, and Liam had been the one to convince her to do it.

“You know… if you wanna talk about anything… “ Just to try again, Liam’s thumb was automatically rubbing over the skin on Niall’s shoulder since she was only wearing a tank top, the smell of her shampoo filling Liam’s nose, her hair tickling the boy’s jaw. “Later, I mean… when Louis is in bed…”

“It’s fine, bean… it was just… a stupid argument, nothing else… “ It sounded a lot like something else, but Liam was certain that now was the time for him to finally shut up, if she didn’t want to tell him, she certainly didn’t have to. “I think I’ll go to bed soon… ‘m knackered.”

“Yeah, me too…” Tightening his arm a bit as Niall pressed closer into him, Liam let his cheek rest on the top of her head, not quite sure what any of them would have been tired from, but he had to take it like that anyways, for now just trying to be happy about how close Niall wanted to be to him, letting him hold her like that.

For a while, they just peacefully watched TV with Louis, Niall never really moved out of Liam’s arms, not complaining when he started playing with her hair because sometimes it made her relax, thinking about how he hadn’t seen her with brown hair in years, ever since she had started dying it blonde, something Liam had helped her with countless of times. Not that it mattered what color hair she had because she always looked beautiful and absolutely gorgeous either ways. 

“You guys look cozy.” Louis suddenly threw in after like 20 minutes and Liam already wanted to kill him just for the look on his face and the stupid smirk on his lips, but mostly because he was sure that if he kept talking, Niall would definitely move away. 

Instead, the girl just got a tiny bit annoyed. “Shut up, Lou.”

“Why? I didn’t even say anything.” He sat up more straight now, looking at them from his place on the armchair and Liam slowly shook his head at the boy as he held Niall more tightly, to keep her from getting up and storming out or … punch Louis in the face or something. “Why’re you so upset?”

“I’m not upset, but I see the stupid grin on your face and I’m not in the mood, alright?” This happened sometimes, that they’d get serious about their little banter, and usually Liam stepped in to stop it, but he didn’t really know what to say right now because he knew that the only reason why Niall was really upset was because of that damn phone call. “Stop.”

“I’m not even doing anything, I was just saying you look very cozy cuddling with Liam.” Well, that was true, but he was yet again speaking with that mocking tone in his voice and if he’d ever say anything in front of Niall about… about how Liam felt, the brunette would definitely strangle him right then and there. 

“So? What’s it to you?” Okay, something terrible must have happened during that phone call because Niall had immediately gone from zero to about two hundred, lifting her head from Liam’s shoulder but not moving away just yet, probably because of how tightly he was holding her. 

“Everything alright? Why’re you freaking out?” Obviously, the fact that Niall was immediately getting worked up made it even funnier to Louis, completely ignoring the glares Liam was throwing at him, quietly trying to tell him to shut the hell up. But no, Louis just made it a hundred times worse. “Are you on your period or something?”

“Louis, that’s en-“

“Okay, that’s it.” Before Liam could bring out anything more, Niall had interrupted him, up and out of his arms before he could even blink or hold onto her, immediately feeling cold but barely being able to think about it because Niall was already continuing to half yell at Louis. “Just shut the fuck up, okay? It’s none of your damn business why I’m upset or whether I’m on my period, you were lying around yesterday whining our ears bleeding about how bad you’re feeling and I didn’t say a damn thing, so why can’t you just leave me alone for one second, huh?!”

“Ni-“

“No, I’m going to bed.” As soon as Liam had gently grabbed her wrist, Niall had already pulled her arm back, not throwing one look at either of them anymore before storming off to her room, which was literally a few meters away, throwing the door shut with a bang. Amazing. 

“Great job.” Liam half growled at Louis, who was still just sitting there, not looking too apologetic but at least that dumb smile was wiped off of his face. God, why did this have to happen, and what the hell had Niall’s parents said to her this time to make her so upset?! “Why do you always have to say stupid stuff like that, Lou?”

“I was just kidding, nothing else, I made that joke a hundred times already and usually she just says something back, I didn’t think she’d freak out like that, jesus. What’d she even go to her room for for so long before?” Sitting up a bit straighter, Louis seemed confused, maybe not ready to go and apologize, but it probably wouldn’t have been a good idea right now anyways. 

“I… I don’t know.” Liam lied, throwing the blanket on the couch next to him before getting up, he couldn’t just keep on sitting here and pretending nothing had happened now, could he? Not when he knew what had upset her that much in the first place. “I’ll go talk to her.”

“Well… tell her I’m sorry, I guess.” Didn’t sound very sorry at all, Louis moved away before Liam could shove him a bit as he walked past, not knowing whether to be angry at him or worried about Niall.

Liam gently knocked on the girl’s door, he never just walked in, not wanting to invade her privacy or anything, even though he knew that the door wasn’t locked, leaning his forehead against the wood. “Ni? Can we talk, please?”

“No, go away, I’m trying to sleep!” And that was basically everything Liam got, causing him to sigh deeply because he knew that kinda voice, there was no need to keep on trying, especially not with Louis still sitting only a few meters away. God, Liam wanted to smack him across the face right now even if it hadn’t needed much at all to set Niall off like that. 

“Okay… I… I’m in my room, okay? If you wanna talk, I… goodnight, Nialler.” Liam wasn’t sure if she could even hear the last part, just remaining leaned against the door for a moment before pushing away with a bad feeling settling in the depth of his stomach as he walked back past Louis towards his own room, the older’s eyes following him. 

“Liam, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to get her so pissed off, I-“

“It’s fine, I… it’ll be fine tomorrow. I’ll go to bed too… see you in the morning.” It wasn’t too extremely late, but Liam was way too worried now as to keep on sitting there and watch TV with Louis and though he doubted that he’d be able to sleep right now, he would at least have to try.

“Yeah… night.” Was all Louis said, the look on his face showing mixed emotions and at least he seemed to feel guilty for what he had done now, but it was too late anyways.

Phone calls to Niall’s family never really went over quickly or had her coming out with a good mood, sometimes she’d be upset like that, but usually she told Liam about it, so naturally, the boy was really worried about her now. He had known her family pretty much as long as he had known her, and they had always been nice to him, it had only been when Niall had started opening up to him, telling him about all the yelling and the fights, the favoritism towards her brother, how they had wanted a second son and not a daughter, which was why they had welcomed Liam as her best friend, that he had realized that they weren’t as nice as he had thought.

They had always tried to make her wear Greg’s old clothes, made her play soccer, all those stereotypical things and yet Niall had still never been enough for them, and she knew, even if it wasn’t that obvious on the outside, and so she had spent a lot of time at Liam’s house, with his mother and his sisters as well, but obviously… her family was still her family, and of course that thing was always standing between them, and though everybody knew, there was nothing anybody could do. Not even Liam, even if he had never given up on trying. 

Lying in bed a few minutes later in almost complete darkness, the boy had no idea what to do now, it’s not that it was such a big deal at all, just… Niall was hurting, and if there was one thing Liam hated, then it was knowing that she wasn’t completely fine and that she wasn’t allowing him to help her. 

Louis turned off the TV a short while later, probably going to bed as well, but it still didn’t help Liam to fall asleep or even get tired. Tomorrow was Monday, so a day full of uni and a new week ahead and Liam honestly didn’t mind too much, only thing he’d miss was seeing Niall all day and spending so much time with her. Whenever Louis was gone and it was only the two of them left, it was like… like they were living together, alone, even though Liam knew that’d never happen. He would have moved in here with Niall all alone, but Louis probably couldn’t have afforded the dorms and also… it wouldn’t have been good for Liam, being alone with her every day, having what he wanted and yet being so far away from it.

He loved her, truly, with all his heart, and yet it didn’t seem to be enough, didn’t seem meant to be or whatever, and there was nothing Liam could have done about it. Sure, he could have taken his chance, like everybody always tried to tell him, but what for? Why would he risk a friendship that had almost lasted all his life, just for the chance that maybe somewhere deep down, Niall could return his feelings when she clearly had never acted anything like it? No way, he wasn’t gonna risk that.

It seemed like hours had passed by of Liam just lying in bed, scrolling through his phone, not doing anything at all before finally giving up and rolling out of bed, thinking that maybe going to the bathroom or something would make him tired. The whole flat seemed pretty quiet, but Liam was still half tiptoeing just to not wake anybody, throwing a look at the clock on the wall they had, only showing around midnight. Great, that was going to be one damn long night.

Going to the bathroom, Liam had to go past Niall’s room, almost stopping but then deciding not to, just because she was probably asleep anyways. When Liam was done though, half closing the bathroom door again, almost falling over somebody’s shoes, he stopped walking immediately, because there had been a sound that had been nothing like expected. 

For a moment, Liam thought it was just Niall turning in her bed or something, the walls weren’t thick after all, but then the sound was there again and it definitely had been something else, so he stopped dead on in the hallway, in front of Niall’s door, even if it was fucking creepy somehow, but… he just needed to know if she was alright.

And then his heart stopped.

When he heard the sound again, it was most definitely sobbing he heard, or at least sniffing, and there was no point for Niall to sniff if she wasn’t in there crying over what god knows her parents had told her because it certainly wasn’t because of Louis. Hesitating, Liam took a step forward, his heart aching a bit, stomach turning into knots as he thought about what to do.

Maybe she wanted to be alone, but Liam decided to give it another try instead, knowing he couldn’t have survived simply going back to his room now, so instead he gently knocked on Niall’s door once more, a bit of a lump in his throat. “Nialler…? Can I… Can I come in? … please?”

There was no answer really, just more sniffing and Liam knocked again but she just kept on ignoring him, which wasn’t a ‘go away’ though, so… even though Liam didn’t just wanna go in without her permission, he gently pressed down the door handle, waiting whether he’d be yelled at or something, but really, there was not a word coming from inside the room.

“Niall… ?” It was dark, but Niall’s curtains were never fully closed because she didn’t like it, and Liam could make out her figure underneath the covers, her hair, how she was facing away from the door and from him. “Ni… are you awake? Is everything okay? I thought I… I thought I heard you crying… “

“’m not crying… “ Her voice was muffled, but somehow Liam was still relieved, that she wasn’t yelling at him to get the hell out even if it was clear that she was lying. 

“Okay… can I still come in?” Keeping his voice soft, Liam slowly walked into the room, hand still on the door handle as he waited for an answer. 

“If you… want to.” Was all, but it didn’t sound like she would have wanted him to leave again so Liam took that as a good sign, closing the door behind himself, just in case Louis was awake or something, he didn’t want this to turn into yet another fight. “Why’re you awake…?”

“I couldn’t sleep… what about you?” Not like Liam didn’t know, but he didn’t wanna make her feel uncomfortable, only slowly inching closer to the bed, sitting on the very edge because usually he always asked whether it was alright and stuff, even if Niall never really did that, but she probably knew that there couldn’t have been a situation where she would have been required to ask anyways. 

“Me neither… “ There was a sigh before Niall moved, onto her back now, wiping at her face but Liam couldn’t really see her face that well anyways, so he couldn’t know for sure if she had been crying or not, but judging by the sounds… 

“Louis said that… that he’s sorry.” Just so she knew, not that she probably still cared because there was just a huff anyways. 

“Whatever… I already forgot what he said.” She moved her arm across her eyes, Liam didn’t know what for, but suddenly he felt a really terrible urge to reach out and give her a hug, so she’d know he was there for her, no matter what was causing her trouble to sleep. “It’s not… it’s not him.”

“I know…” Keeping his hands in his lap even though it was pretty damn hard, Liam just watched Niall in almost complete darkness, just waiting, not wanting to push it or anything, it was already enough for now that she had even allowed him to come inside and everything.

After what seemed like ages of silence between them, the brunette boy almost came to think Niall had fallen asleep just as she spoke up again, very quietly, as if she wasn’t even sure if she really wanted to tell Liam about it. “It wasn’t like… like a big fight or anything, just… it was just the usual and I don’t know… I don’t know why it still gets me so upset, but… they have this way of… of saying things and dragging me down and… criticizing things I didn’t even know anyone could be bothered by… I’m just… I don’t wanna call them anymore, Li, and I feel like a terrible person because they’re my parents and yet… yet I’d be perfectly happy to just… even though I know they love me, and they still support me, but… I don’t know… “

“What…what’d they say?” Liam asked, very carefully, because he did know exactly what Niall meant, but he still had no idea what the argument had been about. 

“I just… I called and then we talked about the usual things, y’know and then… I was talking to my mum, and she started asking about uni, about my grades and… about boys. And then of course everything went downhill from there and the usual outcome is that I’ll have no job and no friends and I’ll die on my own because even though they wanted me to be a boy all my life I’m not girl enough for them now and I’m weird because I don’t have a boyfriend and it’s all my fault and… isn’t that strange? How I wasn’t the boy they wanted and now even though I am a girl, I’m also not the girl they wanted?” Her voice had gotten more upset towards the end, which Liam understood, because he knew how her mother was, how she twisted Niall’s words and everything she did to something negative. “Sometimes I think my mums saving all her anger for when I’m calling, sometimes I think she… she _wants_ to have something to yell about, it’s like she makes these things up because she wants to be upset with me. Other parents want their daughters to not date and mine… mine probably want me to call them the second I lose my virginity so they can throw a party. Like… I don’t even know anymore who they want me to be.”

“Niall… you know you don’t have to be anything at all but yourself, right? Your parents aren’t here, you’re old enough to know what you want and… I know it sucks, I know they say all these things to you, but they’re wrong, you do have friends, you will get a job one day and… you’ll also find somebody you wanna be with, and someone who wants to be with you too.” Well, she had already found the latter without knowing but… that wouldn’t exactly help her out, would it? “It doesn’t matter whether that’s days or years from today.”

“But… what if I never find anybody, Liam?” The way her voice cracked at that, Liam could already guess that this was the real problem here, not even what her mother had said maybe, or how, but rather what Niall had made of it afterwards. They kept having this conversation, and it never failed to hurt Liam, to keep reassuring Niall that one day she’d find someone she’d wanna be with, someone who wasn’t him. “I’ve never had one single boyfriend, like… what if my mum’s right, you know? What if no one likes me because I don’t wanna wear these ugly high heels and dresses she bought me when my parents finally realized that I am in fact not a boy? And because I don’t like to wear that much make up or dress up or-“

“Niall, hey, stop, okay? You don’t have to _be_ a certain way to be considered anybody, okay? You’re you and that’s good, you’re funny and you’re smart and caring and you always make everybody laugh and you listen to when people talk and… and you’re beautiful and I’m not saying that because I’m your best friend but because it’s true.” More than true, how could she not see that? How could she not believe Liam after he was telling her at least once a day? 

“If that’s true then how come this one idiot asked me out as a joke when we were younger? And the other one I had a crush on who got teased by his friends because I liked him? And the guy in my first uni semester, who gave me his number when he was drunk and never texted back afterwards when he was sober again? Oh, and don’t let me forget that douche who got _dared_ by his friend to kiss me at this party we went to in our second semester and he said, quote, ‘I think I need another drink before that’?” Right, that asshole, Liam had made sure he got caught cheating on a test the following week and Niall didn’t need to know that, but he had actually been thrown out of the whole class. “And there were other things that happened too and if I count all of that together then clearly that means that-“

“That they are all fucking idiots who didn’t know you very well to nothing at all? Niall, most of that happened when we were kids and the other ones at uni were drunk and that one guy was just an asshole, okay? It doesn’t mean anything, it has nothing to do with you at all, I can promise you that, Nialler. Besides, you don’t need anybody who was dared to kiss you or some shit, or who you met when he was completely drunk, you deserve someone way better and I know you’ll find him one day.” If only Liam could have used that for himself too, he had no doubts that Niall would eventually have a boyfriend, his only worries were, how the hell would he be able to live with that?

“I don’t know, I just… “ Niall let out a deep sigh, seemingly not believing what Liam was telling her because she never did and it really hurt, seeing her like this, especially because he had known about all of this already, just… what was Liam supposed to do? Find her some guy and play match maker? He would have, had he known somebody, and even if it would have killed him inside to see her with somebody else, but there was no one Liam knew who he thought was good enough for her. “Like… Louis and Harry have each other and… and you always get asked out by girls and everyone always wants to have your number from me and I… I’m just… there… “

“Niall, look, I… they might ask me out but… I don’t like any of them, I never text them back either after I let them know I’m not interested and… I’m single too, okay? And I know you think that’s different, but I don’t really see myself being with somebody in the near future and… we have each other, right? I’m always there for you and… one day you’ll find somebody but until then…. I’m here, you’re not alone and you’re never gonna be.” Although Liam knew that maybe that wasn’t Niall’s biggest concern, he still finally reached out for her, eyes having gotten used to the darkness by now, enough so he could grab a loose hold of her hand, squeezing just a bit. 

“I know… it just gets me upset, whenever my mum goes on about it because it’s not like I don’t know… “ She hadn’t pulled her hand back yet so Liam just kept holding on, his heart still aching because even though he had known that it must have been something bad, he hadn’t really been prepared for it to go so deep, that he wouldn’t be able to help her. “But thank you, bean, I… I know I’m being overdramatic and that I should feel lucky because I’ve got you and Harry and Louis and… I was just… I was just upset.”

“It’s okay, Nialler, I know what you mean, okay? And I wish I could help you and make you feel better, but… all I can really do is tell you what I just did because it’s what I genuinely believe and… I only want the best for you, I don’t want you to think you have to be or look a certain way because… because I know somebody will fall in love with you just the way you are, okay? I promise.” Couldn’t be that Liam was the only one, right? He did see guys looking after Niall, not only when they went out on Friday’s but also randomly, but whenever he told her despite feeling the tiniest bit of jealousy bubbling up, the girl never seemed to believe him. It was just hard, wanting her to be happy even though it’d automatically mean that Liam himself would be unhappy.

There was a moment of silence where Niall was still holding Liam’s hand before suddenly pulling her’s away, moving a bit, and before the brunette boy could feel a little worried, she had already managed to cheer him up again. “Can you… can you stay with me?”

“Yeah, I… of course.” Though Liam hadn’t expected that at all, he still agreed immediately, trying to hold back that smile because Niall wasn’t feeling well after all and she did want him in her bed but only as a shoulder to lean on. That was fine though, Liam was actually really relieved, that he wouldn’t have to leave again and lie in his own bed worrying about whether Niall was continuing to cry and suffer by herself. 

The girl made space for Liam on her bed because it was a lot smaller than his, only having one blanket they could share but somehow it still worked out because Niall immediately put her head on his chest, arm around his stomach just like before and so Liam didn’t hesitate to wrap both his arms around her as well, heart beating a bit faster. Hopefully she couldn’t hear it or anything, it was embarrassing enough that it was even happening at all. 

“You know, I… I wanted to apologize for… for making you call your parents, I… I know how they are and if you don’t wanna talk to them because they make you feel like shit then… then you shouldn’t have to, just because it’s your family doesn’t mean you have to like them.” Liam just _had_ to say something, he knew that the problem hadn’t really been Niall’s family here, but they were just adding to the already existing issues, even now that they were so far away. 

“It’s okay, Li… you didn’t make me do anything, I knew I had to call them and… we would have probably just started fighting for real if I hadn’t. I actually… I didn’t even care what else my mum said, I’m used to it anyways, just… I don’t know, it just made me think is all… “ Her breath was warm, even through the shirt Liam had on, for which he was pretty glad because otherwise she would have probably not immediately cuddled up so close to him that she might have as well been lying on top of him. “Thank you for always being there for me, Li… and for not thinking I’m crazy and dramatic and on my period like Louis.”

“You’re welcome, babe…. Don’t listen to Louis though, he doesn’t mean it, he’s just an idiot sometimes.” It was just because him and Niall were always playfully fighting that it was easy for one of them to go a step too far. “He wouldn’t have done it if he had known why you were upset… he loves you, you know. And Harry does too and… and I do as well, and we’ll always be there for you, no matter what.”

“I know… I love you too, bean.” As if to proof it, Niall momentarily lifted her head, kissing Liam’s cheek a little bit longer than she usually did, lingering for a moment, until the boy’s skin had turned all warm and tingly, his arms tightening as he struggled to keep calm, remember why she was doing this. “I have no idea what I’d do without you… “

“You… you never have to find out.” Liam almost felt breathless as soon as Niall had snuggled her head back down, everything in here smelling like her, her warmth pressing against Liam’s body, their legs occasionally knocking into each other. This was both heaven but also hell. “Do you think that… that you can maybe sleep now? I’m probably gonna be awake anyways, I’m actually… not tired at all.”

“Hmmm, I can try… I’m not that tired either though, I kinda… lied a bit before, sorry.” She giggled, making Liam smile with closed eyes, trying to think about something positive now, hoping that Niall was doing the same. There was nothing else he could have said, was there? He was really trying his best here to be a good friend, maybe he could… just be an extra good friend the next few days? Make sure she was better, that she knew just how much she meant to him?

“It’s okay, I think I can forgive you, Nialler.” As if he could have ever been mad at her to begin with.

“Thanks, Li… can you… play with my hair, maybe?” The brunette didn’t even bother answering before his hand was already in Niall’s hair, something he had done so many times, something only he was allowed to do, and it wasn’t exactly a bother, running his fingers through Niall’s soft hair, brushing the back of her neck once a while, not in a creepy way of course, he would have stopped immediately had she asked him to. But she didn’t and instead, she almost gave Liam a heart attack after a second of silence. “Sometimes… sometimes I wish it could be us, you know? That… that _we_ could be in love and together and… it’d be so easy, wouldn’t it?”

Liam instantly felt himself tense up, his hand cramping a bit, but he forced himself to relax and keep on breathing normally, forced his hand to keep on stroking Niall’s hair. It’d be pretty damn fucking easy indeed. “Yeah, I… I guess it would… “

The brunette was pretty sure that Niall hadn’t noticed anything weird about his reaction because she pressed even closer to his relief, keeping quiet afterwards. God, she would never even guess it, would she? She probably had no damn clue about Liam’s feelings for her and on one hand he was pretty glad about that, but on the other...it hurt, especially because she’d say these things a lot actually, in a way as if there was no bloody way that any of this could ever happen for real.

It didn’t take very long for Niall’s breathing to get more even, her chest moving against Liam’s body and he liked to think that it was his presence that had helped her to calm down enough to be able to fall asleep like this. Hopefully what he had said before had at least helped her a tiny bit, because Liam didn’t know what else he could have done right now, in the middle of the night, but he’d definitely try to come up with something to cheer her up. Even if she hadn’t seemed that beaten down anymore now, but it was his duty as her best friend to make sure she was happy, wasn’t it? Even if sometimes it wasn’t what made him happy too.

 

\---------------

 

When Niall woke up the next morning, she almost panicked a little bit when she noticed she wasn’t alone, that it was warmer in bed than usually, but she quickly calmed down when she remembered that it was Liam’s arm that was wrapped around her waist, his chest against her back because of how they had moved in their sleep, warm breath hitting her neck where her ponytail wasn’t covering her skin. 

Since her alarm hadn’t even gone off yet, Niall had to stretch a little bit in order to reach her phone and check the time, causing Liam to mumble something behind her as he held her tighter, keeping her close. It wasn’t uncomfortable at all, the way he was holding her, they had shared beds tons of times and it was actually really nice, having Liam there next to her and to wake up to, his warmth, the familiarity of having him close. Especially after last night.

Honestly, Niall wasn’t even sure anymore why she had been so upset that she had freaked out on Louis like that and been lying in bed crying, like yeah, what her mum had said had bothered her, and it also wasn’t nice knowing that she was probably the only damn person her age who had never gone further with anybody apart from a sloppy kiss while being half drunk. At least that’s what it felt like most of the time.

Then again, lying here like this with Liam, Niall was yet again reminded that that probably wasn’t true. And she was lucky, because she had a best friend like Liam, someone who would always allow her to sleep in his bed too if she didn’t want to be alone, whose hand she had held more times than she could count even in public, who told her that she was beautiful every time she had worries and showered her in complements whenever she felt down. Thinking about all of this, it seemed pretty damn stupid and greedy for Niall to whine about nobody being interested in her when so many other people didn’t have anybody and even shittier families than hers.

When she finally did reach her phone, it only showed like 6 am, which was way too soon, and for some reason, Niall felt really excited about that, not only because it meant she could sleep some more but also because she didn’t have to wake Liam just yet and roll out of his arms and away from his warmth.

Instead, she started wiggling around a bit, until his grip on her had loosened enough so she could turn around instead, and maybe it should’ve been weird or whatever, but it didn’t feel anything like that at all when Liam immediately pulled her back in against his chest, again mumbling something, Niall’s face now almost pressed against his neck.

“… Ni? What’re you doin’?” Liam’s voice was raspy and deep from sleep, he let out a deep breath, warming up Niall’s scalp in the process and holding her even tighter, as if she was his pillow or something. Honestly, lying here with him was like sleeping in bed with a huge, cuddly teddy bear. 

“Nothing, go back to sleep, bean.” Niall made sure to whisper back, just so she wouldn’t startle him in case he wasn’t fully awake, trying not to move too much or anything, because the last thing she would have wanted right now was moving out of this position.

“’mkay….everythin’… okay?” It was as if he was asking out of habit even while he was sleeping, making sure Niall was alright even though he was probably having trouble listening, his hand somehow finding its way back into her hair, not really moving it a lot though, just letting it rest there and the girl felt her stomach warming as she smiled to herself. God, why’d he have to be so damn sweet and caring?

“Yeah… everything’s fine, Liam, sleep, okay?” Freeing her arm from where it was squeezed in between them now, Niall somehow lifted it without even thinking about it until she could pet Liam’s cheek softly, thumb rubbing over his skin for a moment, his stubble that he had decided to grow out. 

“’kay… love you… “ His voice sounded as if he was in fact dreaming or something, but it still caused Niall’s stomach to flatter a bit.

“Love you too…” Normally, they didn’t tell each other on a daily basis, but Niall blamed it on the fact that she had been acting like a baby last night and it’s not like she minded because hearing it always felt pretty damn good. 

Had Louis come inside the room and seen them like this now, he surely could have thought of more than a few stupid things to say, but for some reason, as Niall felt herself slipping back to sleep while listening to Liam’s even breathing, she felt like she wouldn’t have even bothered to get up anymore because there was absolutely nothing that could have made her feel as safe and loved as she felt in Liam’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos, im really happy a lot of people decided to still give this story a try even though girl!niall probably needs a bit to get used to haha, also for me cos ive never written it before but im definitely having a lot of fun and i hope you all enjoyed the chapter and will hopefully also like the rest of the story, let me know :D


	3. Chapter 3

For some reason, Niall felt kinda clingy with Liam that day. Maybe it was because he had spent the night in her bed or because he had made her feel so much better or maybe it was simply because they both overslept and Liam looked so cuddly and sleepy after having thrown on the first clothes he had found and not been able to make his hair or shave because they had had to rush. 

Though they didn’t usually have a lot of classes together because they were majoring in different things, Niall was more than glad today that they had two hours of the same lecture on Monday morning, just because almost everyone had it, which meant Harry and Louis were there as well, but it was fine because Niall had basically been glued to Liam’s side even before they had woken up and it seemed kinda impossible to think that she’d sit anywhere else besides next to him. Especially after what had happened with Louis yesterday and though he had apologized this morning, he definitely had to make up for something and had to let her sit where she wanted anyways. 

Half the class long, Niall had just been doodling instead of taking notes, her arm occasionally brushing Liam’s as he was writing, probably every single word that came out of the professor’s mouth, and on the other side Louis looked like he might fall asleep any second, just staring straight ahead, and then next to him was Harry, sometimes taking notes like Liam but mostly playing on his phone. Thank god Niall’s best friend was the one who took all of this serious as hell or she wouldn’t have even been sitting in this class right now.

“Everything okay?” Liam’s hand rubbing up her back out of nowhere almost caused Niall to flinch, not really having paid much attention to anything at all, so naturally, she was slightly confused when everyone around them had started getting a bit louder. 

“Yeah… what’s going on?” Feeling Liam’s hand drop almost made Niall shiver, she did have something more to put on over her shirt but it was stuffed away in her bag and she really couldn’t have been bothered to search for it now.

“We’re watching a video for the last thirty minutes.” The brunette explained, looking a little bit worried while he kept watching Niall’s face as she had to suppress a yawn. 

“Oh, thank god.” Apparently, Louis had also not heard what the professor had said, because he suddenly seemed a whole lot more motivated after what Liam had said, his eyes looking as threatened to fall close as Niall’s felt. Damn, she had actually gotten a good nights sleep, especially with Liam there to cuddle and yet she felt unnaturally tired… and in need of even more cuddles somehow.

“How did you both miss that?” Of course Liam sounded slightly worried, but Louis just shrugged before turning over to talk to Harry and Niall just threw a sleepy smile at him, barely even hesitating for a second before deciding that her friend’s shoulder looked way too comfortable as to not rest her head on. 

“Can I maybe pretty please borrow your notes later?” Niall knew he would have given them to her anyways, but she still asked while slipping her arm through his, hugging it before resting her cheek on Liam’s shoulder and pressing as close to him as these seats would allow.

“Sure, I wasn’t thinking I’d be doing anything else with them.” He half teased, letting Niall cuddle up to him because he never ever seemed to mind anyways, always seemed to welcome it. “Are you cold?”

“No, I’m good.” The girl had to half whisper now because the video was starting, something really weird that probably fit to what the whole lecture had been about, but since she had only been trying to pay attention for like 5 seconds… she would have to ask Liam about that later as well. 

“You’ve got goosebumps all over your arms...” Liam mumbled back, his fingers brushing over the girl’s arm, almost causing her to shiver before making her huff quietly as he half forced her to lift her head and let go of him, but before Niall could really pout over it, she quickly changed her mind when she saw Liam taking off his hoodie. “Here.”

“Thanks… “ There was no point in arguing, since he had already taken it off, so Niall just smiled at him, taking the piece of clothing, mostly because the gesture had been so sweet, but also because well… she was kinda cold after all. 

Wearing Liam’s clothes was something Niall did at least three times a week, but she also wore Louis’, so it wasn’t a big deal at all, and yet for some reason it always caused Liam to smile ridiculously much. He helped her getting her hair out of his hoodie after taking a bit too long to put it on, immediately feeling a lot warmer and more comfortable, breathing in Liam’s familiar cologne stuck on the fabric, somehow making her feel even more tired because it reminded her of last night. 

“That’s better, right?” His voice was soft, quiet, and Niall couldn’t see his face because she had immediately gone back to hugging his arm and placing her head on his shoulder, making it impossible for him to take notes, but if it bothered him, he never said a word about it.

“Yeah… thank you, bean. Tell me if you need it back, okay?” He would have never told her that, they both knew that, Liam could have been freezing to death next to her and he would have still insisted that Niall should have kept his hoodie on. That was just him. 

“I’m good, Nialler, don’t worry… you’re okay though, yeah?” Liam was probably asking because of last night, he had just gone along with Niall’s clinginess all morning, which wasn’t unusual, but now he did sound slightly worried, maybe thinking it was still bothering her something. 

“Everything’s good, Li, thanks to you. I’m just really tired…” More than that actually, Niall had to yet again suppress a yawn, smiling a bit to herself when the boy’s hand wrapped around hers while it was resting on his thigh, his palm soft and warm, thumb caressing her knuckles. Times like these, Niall understood why so many people seemed to think that they were secretly dating, why some of the girls she knew seemed to somehow act jealous, and well, Liam was pretty great after all, but he was still Niall’s best friend and no one else’s, so even though they weren’t dating… was it wrong that sometimes the girl felt a little bit proud? That _she_ was the one people were jealous of? Because Liam didn’t even go close to any other girl except for her? Maybe, but the fact that one of the nicest and best looking guys at uni was the person she was closest to at least helped a lot with the fact that no other boy ever seemed to even wanna go near her. 

“Don’t sleep in though, yeah? He said the video will be on the test.” That only made Niall groan a little bit and Liam chuckled softly, making himself a bit more comfortable which only ended with them being even closer, still loosely holding hands. 

Niall probably half slept in more than ten times, it was honestly kind of a horrible feeling to be jostled awake all the time, but the fact that she had Liam there to lean on and cuddle with made it kinda hard to keep her eyes open or even focus on the video for more than like half a second. Not that it mattered, it was on Youtube anyways and if she pouted a little bit in front of Liam, he would probably tell her everything she needed to know. And Louis as well, because looking over at some point, he seemed to have a really good time playing on his phone.

“God… that was horrible… “ Niall groaned a bit once the lecture was over and everyone started packing their stuff, a little bit unwillingly pulling away from Liam and letting go of him so she could stuff her pen and notepad into her backpack. “Did you understand just one word they said?”

“Hmm, it was a bit complicated, but I got most of it, I think.” Liam had honestly had to think about it for a moment, answering what sounded very truthful, as if Niall had genuinely been interested and somehow it made her smile, a fond feeling rising in her chest as she threw a look at her best friend. “You?”

“Not really… I’ll have to watch it again when I’m home.” Which wouldn’t be until in a few hours and just the thought of it already made Niall sick. And it was only bloody Monday. 

“I’ll watch it with you.” The boy offered, closing his own backpack before getting up and waiting for Niall and the other two to do the same, even if they had to go to different classes in a few minutes anyways. 

Both Harry and Louis seemed to be as sleepy as Niall, which made sense, but even though the girl was very aware of them being right behind them while they were walking out of the lecture hall, she barely even thought about it as she let her hand brush Liam’s before intertwining their fingers and the boy never said a single word about it either. Holding Liam’s hand was nice, it was soft and warm and it made Niall feel really safe, no matter what anybody else watching them thought about it, it’s not like it mattered, right?

“Nialler, wrong direction.” Harry made sure to tell her as soon as they were in the hallways, causing Niall to roll her eyes at him because it’s not like she hadn’t known. At least she had her next class with Harry, even though she would have surely preferred Liam, but… she couldn’t have everything in life. “C’mon, we’ll be late.”

“I know.” Shrugging, Niall pulled a face at Harry before turning her head away because she had seen him kissing Louis goodbye often enough to last a lifetime, instead looking up at Liam, whose hand she was still holding, for some reason not wanting to pull away. “See you at home I guess… “

“Hey, it won’t be too bad, only a few more hours.” Liam’s smile was sweet, his cheeks might have been a bit pinker than usually but Niall was probably imaging that, unwillingly allowing the boy to pull his hand out of hers but not giving him a chance to step away because she had her arms around his waist half a second later, making him laugh. “You’re really cuddly today.”

“Do you mind?” Niall knew that he didn’t, because he was hugging her back faster than she would have thought, really tight as well, so she allowed her eyes to fall closed for a second, not even wanting to think about Harry and Louis watching them from behind. But whatever, it wasn’t a secret that they were best friends, was it?

“Not at all.” Was all Liam said, with so much honesty in his voice that the girl just held on tighter instead of letting go. Whatever, then it was just going to be a really long hug. 

“Thanks again for last night, Li… “ Just to tell him again, so he knew that she really was grateful that he was always there for her and that she didn’t take it for granted at all, especially not because it was something he had to calm her down about on a regular basis.

“It’s okay, babe, you don’t have to keep on thanking me, ‘m always there for you, you know that.” He was rocking them a bit, just slightly, and Niall knew that if she allowed Liam to keep on going, she would have possibly ended up with Harry dragging her away by her hair or something. 

“I know… I think I gotta go or Haz will be mad.” The other two boys hadn’t said anything yet, but it was surely going to happen soon. 

“Yeah… well, have a good day then, okay? Try to take some notes maybe.” It wasn’t really a joke, because Niall really should have taken more notes, but they still laughed about it anyways while slowly pulling apart and before Niall could reply, Liam kinda caused her to forget about what she had been wanting to say by pressing his lips to her forehead for a second like he sometimes did. “See you at home… “

“Yeah, see you then… “ Now it was even harder to just pull away, rubbing her hand over Liam’s side for a moment, Niall threw him another smile before turning around, only to be met by Harry and Louis staring at them as if they had just been making out or something. “Let’s go, Haz.”

Of course there was some stupid giggling, because there always was and always would be, ever since they had met Louis and the first thing he had asked them was whether they were dating. Back then, they had both kinda gotten upset about it, not wanting anybody to think that, but it really just were jokes by now, at least from Harry and Louis, but nobody else really asked Niall about it anyways, except for a few girls at uni who had a crush on Liam and would get weird whenever he was brought up, just like that one girl on the bus a few days ago.

“Everything okay with you?” Was the first thing Harry asked once they were alone and Niall immediately felt caught, letting her hair fall over the side of her face to make sure the boy couldn’t really see her that well, just in case.

“Yeah, I’m good, why?” Rearranging her backpack a bit, Niall suddenly realized that she still had Liam’s hoodie on because the sleeves were way too long, but now that it was too late to run and give it back to him, she would definitely keep that on for the rest of the day. Just hopefully Liam wouldn’t get cold or anything. 

“I don’t know… you seemed a bit off before, and I thought something happened because you were with Liam the whole time.” Wasn’t she always though?

“I was just… really tired. Or still am, actually.” Forcing a smile on her face so Harry would believe her, Niall kinda failed at that by almost tripping over some random person’s foot, so in the end, she just ended up even more blushed than she had already been. 

“Me too, I was just wondering, you know… I mean you’re always close, just because… just because you were holding his hand and everything.” Something told Niall that this was actually what Harry had meant, but she decided not to pay too much attention to it because it didn’t matter, she could hold Liam’s hand all she wanted without needing a reason to. 

“No, I just… I don’t know, wasn’t really thinking about it.” And then, just because maybe this had come off a little bit weird or wrong, Niall made sure to add something else, not really wanting to talk about this because it only would have led to the fact that Harry probably knew about last night as well. “Hey, did we have any homework?”

So that was basically how Niall’s whole day of classes went, not seeing any of the boys anymore after the one with Harry, and maybe that was good because the girl needed some time to think by herself anyways. She did feel a ton better today, tired and kinda wishing she could have had Liam with her, but other than that, she had somewhat gotten over what her mother had stirred up last night, even if somewhere in the back of her head, she was overthinking it the whole day long, thinking about what she and Liam had talked about last night, and it was just something she’d probably always worry about. 

It was easy for Liam to say that she’d find someone who would actually wanna be with her and vice versa, because he had had relationships after all, very short ones and more like flings, but still, there were people interested in him, he had experienced all of it, and here Niall was not knowing how anything worked and maybe it wasn’t a big deal but somehow it was to her and … it wasn’t exactly like Liam could have helped her out with that, could he? So yeah, everything he had said had of course helped her and everything but… it didn’t really erase any of the low self-esteem that would sometimes overcome her, or the fear of ending up all alone or something like that, which was a silly thought, but was it really so bad that Niall just wanted someone to… love her like she was? And not in a friendship kinda way?

 

\-----------------

 

The next few days, Liam was trying his hardest to make sure Niall was alright, probably getting onto her nerves already, but he just couldn’t help it for some reason, and it’s not like she told him to stop, no, she actually seemed to appreciate everything he did for her, like making sure to buy her the candy she liked and starting a fight with Louis so they could watch the movie Niall had wanted to watch and do her laundry with his so she didn’t have to. 

Although today, Liam was aware that he may have taken it slightly too far.

“Mate, what the hell is that?” Louis’ eyes immediately landed on the counter where Liam was eating the leftover food from yesterday as he walked in, carelessly having dropped his bag somewhere and leaving his shoes lying on the carpet but Liam had honestly given up on saying anything about it. “Did somebody give that to you or something?”

“No, it’s just… a present.” Of course Louis would think it’s silly, so Liam made sure to move what he had bought for Niall away as the other boy came closer, an amused look on his face. Great, Liam should have maybe watched the time a little bit and remember that Louis always came home at random times. 

“For who?” He almost demanded to know as he walked past where Liam was sitting and towards the fridge, causing Liam’s cheeks to turn a little bit red as he tried to continue eating normally, suddenly not so sure anymore whether it had been a good idea.

“Uh… what?” Liam pretended like he hadn’t been listening, as if it didn’t matter, but Louis had probably looked right past his act anyways because everyone always seemed to do that.

“That thing, who’s it for?” Actually, it wasn’t a thing, and it wasn’t even ugly or too big or anything, it was just a teddy bear for Valentine’s day, nothing else, it was just… just because that _thing_ had happened a few days ago and because Liam had remembered how last year for Valentine’s day, Niall had looked quite sad when she and Liam had been in class and that one random girl had given him something. 

“For, uh… Niall.” He finally brought out, trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal at all, like it was something he did all the time.

“For Valentine’s day? Man, you’ve really got it bad.” Somehow Louis almost sounded as if he was pitying Liam as he came over, throwing another look at the bear before sitting on top of the other counter since they didn’t really have a table. Good, because then at least he couldn’t look at Liam’s face. “Is it even holding a heart?”

“Well, it’s for Valentine’s day, so… “ Liam huffed a bit, his ears even feeling hot by now and he wasn’t even sure anymore if he should have still given that to Niall or just… pretend like it had never happened. 

“When are you finally gonna tell her, Li? You’ve been pining after her ever since I met you two and it’s gotten really bad lately, like… all the hand holding and did you actually sleep in her bed a few days ago when she got so upset? I saw you walking out of her room in the morning.” God, now this was starting again, when would Louis finally realize that there was absolutely no reason to talk about any of this, because _yes_ Liam was in love with her, but he would never be able to tell her anyways, since she clearly didn’t feel the same and everybody knew that. 

“So what? We’re best friends, nothing else, I’ve known her almost all my life, we’ve shared a bed more often than you and Harry.” Which was probably the truth, considering the fact that they had had sleepovers every weekend for like 3 years or something and Harry and Louis had only been dating for one and a half years, but it’s not like this was a competition because at least Louis could actually admit to his feelings. “Anyways, I won’t tell her anything, it doesn’t matter.”

“Why not? She’s never had one single boyfriend or anything close to that, or am I wrong? The only thing I remember is when she kissed that one guy at a party and they were both really drunk and it lasted like 1 second, you’re the only guy she’s ever been close to.” Of course Louis was saying this to make Liam feel better but it wasn’t like Niall was doing this for _him_ or anything, she would have changed it in a second if she could have and Liam only knew that way too well. 

“Please do me a favor and don’t ever say that in front of her, okay? She’s not… it really gets to her, and I probably shouldn’t tell you that, but… I don’t want you to confront her or anything, or just mention it, she doesn’t really like talking about… boy related things.” If Louis ever only mentioned the tiniest thing Liam would strangle him right there, he actually took the time to turn around and throw a look at his friend, just to show him that he was being serious and that this was nothing to joke around about either. He couldn’t have Louis ruining Niall’s mood yet again after he had been trying for days to make her feel better.

“Okay, okay, don’t worry, I’m not saying anything, yeah? I just… I do think that if you told her, you know, or maybe just dropped some more hints than you already do then… like she’d maybe start to really think about it and then-“

“Sht.” Was all Liam made, because right when Louis had been about to get to the embarrassing part, there were suddenly keys being pushed into the lock from outside, and Liam’s heart was really close to jumping out of his throat just from thinking about what would have happened if Niall had heard any of their conversation.

“Hey, Nialler.” Yet again, Louis sounded way too amused as he greeted her, both being able to clearly see the front door from where they were sitting and Liam could already sense that something was wrong judging from the look on Niall’s face.

“Hey… “ Her voice didn’t sound too motivated as she kicked off her shoes and dropped her backpack, in the same way Louis had before, seemingly slightly irritated. 

“Everything okay?” Liam decided to check beforehand, watching her discarding her jacket somewhere and revealing the same shirt he had complemented her on yesterday and had just gotten a funny look for because she had had it for years.

“Yeah, ‘m fine… was just a really shit day and man… I fucking _hate_ Valentine’s day.” Oh, well… shit. “I swear to god, this one girl in my last class had like fifty different kinds of flowers on her desk and she made me smell _all_ of them, it’s like we were still in middle school or some shit. And then on the bus I was with someone else, and she kept talking about what her and her boyfriend are gonna do later and what do I care? It was so bloody annoying.”

During her rant, Liam had exchanged a look with Louis on accident, trying to somehow subtly move the teddy bear further away to where Niall maybe wouldn’t notice it, but of course the other boy had to be a fucking pain in the arse. “Did you get anything, Ni?”

“No? I wouldn’t even want anything anyways, it’s a shit holiday.” She was enraged, Liam knew she didn’t mean it, and maybe it was exactly the fact that she hadn’t gotten anything that made her even madder, but somehow he still wouldn’t have wanted to give her the present right now. But apparently that wasn’t his choice.

“Well, too bad because Liam got you this.” Not leaving Liam any chance to stop him, Louis had already ripped the bear from where Liam had been somehow trying to hide it and there was nothing to say or to do besides glare at the other boy while at the same time trying not to look too upset because he had bought it for Niall after all, but… that had been before she had had her little outbreak. 

“What?” At first, Niall was just really confused, stopping in the middle of the room, not too far away though as to catch the bear when Louis threw it at her and Liam just wanted to get up and leave, but instead he just looked down, hoping that he wasn’t too extremely blushed. That was definitely not how he had thought this would go. “Did you… did you really get this for me, Li?” 

“Uh, kinda, yeah, I… I didn’t know you… that you hated Valentine’s day so much, umm… “ She hadn’t sounded mad or annoyed, just surprised, but Liam was suddenly still too embarrassed as to look at her, like yeah, he had mostly bought it because he had thought Niall would be happy but… well, if there was one girl in the world he would have wanted to give something to today, it would’ve been her and Louis knew and he was right there next to Liam, probably having a great laugh with this. He was definitely going to pay for that. “You don’t… have to keep it or anything, I just-“

“Of course I’m gonna keep it.” For some reason, her voice had changed completely as she interrupted Liam and as he slowly and carefully decided to look up and check, there was a really fond smile on her lips that didn’t seem to be fake at all.

Before Liam could think of something to say, Niall had already come over, still holding the bear as she simply let herself drop on his lap and the boy’s arms wrapped around her automatically in order to steady her while Niall’s went around his neck. Maybe it hadn’t been a bad idea after all. “Thank you so much, bean.”

“You’re welcome… “ God, Liam was so fucking red now, and it wasn’t helping that Niall made no attempts to move, making herself comfortable on the boy’s lap, and before he even knew it, he had her lips pressed against his cheek while Louis was right fucking there watching him and yet all Liam could think of was that he didn’t want Niall to pull away or stand up, holding her so tightly that it was possibly even hurting her. 

“You’re so sweet…. and it’s a really cute teddy bear too… reminds me of you.” Okay, Liam wasn’t gonna make it out alive.

“Awww, how adorable, do you guys need a minute or something?” Louis’ tone was a bit mocking, but he was somehow laughing as well and Liam just decided to simply ignore him, relieved that Niall had taken it so well after all, that she seemed genuinely excited and happy about the present and didn’t find it weird or anything. Maybe she had changed her mind about hating Valentine’s day now?

“Oh, shut up, Lou, you’re just jealous.” Probably not, but Liam still had to smile a bit over the way Niall stuck her tongue out towards Louis, arm still wrapped around Liam’s neck as she remained sitting on his lap, almost as if she was doing it every day. “I love it, Li… really, and what I said before… I was just upset, nothing else.”

“It’s okay, ‘m glad if you like it… I was actually gonna buy you some chocolate too, but… we’ve already got plenty at home, so...” And all the kinds Niall liked too because Liam had made sure to buy exactly that of course.

“I know, and don’t worry, I like the bear a lot more anyways. And it’s much better than boring flowers too.” Right, of course Liam could have gotten her that as well, but… that would have slightly gone too far, wouldn’t it? If only he would have been just a little bit braver then maybe he would have invited Niall to go get some dinner or whatever, but she probably wouldn’t have wanted to anyways, not with Liam at least. “Is there anything left in the fridge?”

“Yeah, I left you half of what we didn’t eat yesterday.” Upon saying that, Liam was pretty sure he heard Louis huff somewhere next to them because he had probably been searching for that in the fridge before but Liam had kinda… made sure to hide it a little bit. 

“Thanks.” Pecking his cheek once more and grinning at the boy, Niall suddenly moved out of and off of Liam’s lap and even though Liam kinda didn’t really want to let her go, he did of course, made sure to steady her as well, happy to see that she was taking the bear with her as well, keeping it under her arm as she went through their fridge.

“Why didn’t you leave anything for me?” Louis sounded just slightly upset but not very surprised, and Liam just shrugged, not really even bothering to turn around and look at him because he was still kinda mad. Like yeah, Niall liked the present, but Louis still shouldn’t have just taken it from Liam like that and given it to Niall, especially because of everything she had said before, but… it’s not like it was that big of a deal after all. 

“Probably because you always eat our stuff.” Niall threw in, which was kinda true, popping her food in the microwave before leaning against the counter as she waited for it to heat up and Liam tried not to stare at her too obviously, still briefly watching her though as she started looking at the teddy bear more closely. “Aren’t you going out with Harry anyways?”

“Nope, he’s coming here, actually, we don’t really like Valentine’s day either. Oh, right, I just remembered and before I forget it again, mum said we can have her car, you know, for the trip, but we gotta pay for the gas.” That had come a bit out of nowhere although Liam was kinda glad for the change of topic to a much lighter one, one where he didn’t have to blush.

They had been doing this for a few years, ever since Louis had gotten his driver’s license, going on a camping trip during their first longer break of the year after spending some time at home, which was easy because their families all lived in the same city anyways. Well, except for Harry’s, but he had only come along once, which had been last year, but Liam was pretty sure that he’d always be coming with them from now on. Not that he minded, meant he automatically got to share a tent with Niall. 

“Yeah, that’s fine, we’ll just split it.” It wasn’t that long of a drive, only a few hours or so, they had kind of a nice forest there, and a lake, and thinking about it kinda got Liam really excited because even though he had been home for Christmas, he was already counting down the days to their next break, which would actually be in just a few days and not for very long either but… it was something. “Who’s driving?”

“Not Niall.” Was all Louis answered, a little bit too quickly, and had the girl not been busy taking her food out of the microwave, Liam was sure that she would have slapped him or something. 

“It wasn’t me who almost drove the car into a creek last year.” Niall didn’t sound too upset though, so that calmed Liam slightly, trying to be subtle while watching her carrying her plate to where he was sitting as well, placing the teddy bear on the counter before getting on the bar stool next to Liam and the brunette had to fight the urge to reach out and help her.

“No, but it was you who almost crashed into another fucking car, that’s slightly more life threatening if you ask me.” Honestly… actually, and Liam would probably not say this out loud, but he always kinda feared sitting in a car for such a long time while either of them were driving, not that they were so bad at it, but they both had a pretty bad talent for getting distracted way too easily during a long car ride.

“I can drive.” Liam quickly threw in before they’d start a real fight, even if Niall didn’t look up for it at all, she was just shoveling food into her mouth now, face brightening up at the suggestion. “And then we can like… switch or something, I don’t know. Or maybe Harry wants to drive… he’s coming too, right?”

“Yeah, sure, I didn’t really ask him though but… he’s coming home with me anyway, so.” Somehow he always did, Liam knew that Louis had met Harry’s family too, but it seemed more convenient if all four of them went somewhere together during the break in order to spend some time. “And actually, he’s coming over in a bit too.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re celebrating Valentine’s day in your room.” Niall’s head had immediately shot up, the expression so over the top dramatically disgusted that Liam had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t burst out laughing. 

“Oh, shush, Nialler, I told you just five minutes ago we’re not celebrating it at all. But if you want then we’ll watch the horror movies Harry’s bringing in here instead of on my laptop and you guys can join.” There was a pretty evil grin on Louis’ face and Liam’s mouth had already opened, trying to think of anything at all to change the topic and save Niall from having to half die from a heart attack, but for some reason, she didn’t seem to want him to.

“Great, I’ve got nothing planned for today anyways.” Her voice sounded firm, as if she was genuinely excited but sadly, both Louis and Liam knew that that was a lie, if there was something Niall couldn’t stand besides wearing make up, it was gross movies and frankly, Liam was the exact same. So yeah, maybe he would have tried to safe himself a little bit too before the girl had somehow messed that up.

“Good, that’s gonna be fun then.” Grinning, Louis finally jumped up off the counter, ruffling Niall’s hair kinda roughly but also somehow soft as he walked past and the girl just let him, letting go of their banter for now even though Liam wasn’t quite sure how he was gonna survive tonight and a smile with a mouth full of food from Niall wasn’t helping that much either. Well, at least both of them being scared to death meant they got to cuddle, right?

 

\-----------------

 

Niall wasn’t quite sure where she had left her confidence from a bit ago, but now that she had been acting so tough, she probably had to stick to it or Louis would have never shut up about it anymore. Honestly, the fact that Liam had been sweet enough to give her a Valentine’s present though, after he had been trying so damn hard to cheer her up for the last few days after that phone call and that night, Niall’s day had had at least one good thing. Even if going to uni for hours on end and then having to watch a movie that’d probably make her puke wasn’t exactly what the girl had envisioned for today. 

“What’s it about?” Trying to be quiet so Harry and Louis wouldn’t hear, Niall had to lean closer to Liam in order to ask him, not minding the small distance though because in just a few minutes, she’d probably be ready to curl up on his lap. Which wouldn’t help that much because Liam himself wasn’t a fan of scary movies either, but he’d probably try to pretend like it didn’t phase him at all anyways.

“I’m guessing… blood and murder and ghosts.” The brunette boy didn’t sound very excited and Niall somehow felt bad. Just because of her banter with Louis and trying to act cool, she was now kinda forcing Liam to join them for the movie night after he had been so nice to her.

“I’m sorry.” Niall meant it, briefly watching Louis putting in the DVD before trying to be subtle as she scooted closer towards her best friend, still holding the teddy bear he had bought her on her lap even though some time had passed since, but just the fact that he had done it was so unbelievably cute that Niall could have squeezed his cheeks for it. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her and it was so obvious that it almost made her chest tighten just thinking about it.

“It’s okay.” Liam threw a smile at her before dropping his arm over the back of the couch behind her and Niall was relieved that he wasn’t pissed off or anything, that he probably wouldn’t move away should she decide she needed a cuddle in a few minutes. But it was just a movie, right? She couldn’t act scared or show it because Louis had a thing for trying to scare the shit out of Niall on their camping trips, and since it was so close, she had to be careful. 

Though Louis had told the other two that it definitely wasn’t a Valentine’s day thing, Niall was kinda starting to think that him and Harry were sitting a little bit too close and ready to… do something else, so she was just glad that there was quite the distance between them and her and Liam, even though it seemed a little weird that they wanted to squeeze on that arm chair together. Or maybe it wasn’t weird at all.

“You ready, Nialler? Got your teddy bear to hide behind?” The oldest boy teased her right as he sat back down next to Harry after making matters even worse and turning off the lights. Which luckily also meant that he wouldn’t be able to see Niall’s face anymore. “Don’t worry, I’m sure Liam will protect you if you get scared… provided he doesn’t fake to be tired so he can go to bed like last time.”

“Just start the damn movie, Lou.” Liam interrupted, not sounding half as pissed off as Niall felt like, but she decided to keep her mouth shut just this one time. The faking to be tired thing had actually been her idea, her and Liam having silently agreed on already getting ready for bed before Harry had even gotten here and the fact that it was only about 9 pm now maybe made it slightly suspicious. 

“Next time you guys can pick one, okay?” Of course Harry tried to calm them all down, but it’s not like it was Louis who had upset Niall, more like the fact that she had to sit here now, after her day hadn’t gone so great despite Liam being the cutest guy in the history of forever. 

It’s not that Niall was still thinking about what her mother had said, because honestly, they had fought way too many times for her to still get upset, it’s just… that particular topic was still giving her a headache, even if she tried to ignore it, and even though Liam was helping a lot because he probably knew, it had really given Niall a few short nights over the past few days, and especially after today, when everyone had been so sickenly in love. 

What could Niall have done though? Maybe she really did need to stop dressing in the boys’ clothes and put her hair into ponytails that were messy but definitely not cute, and maybe… maybe if she stopped laughing in such a weird way and talked to somebody else who weren’t the people she already knew when they went out then… maybe she wouldn’t have to die alone. Liam wouldn’t be there forever obviously, not like this, not when they grew older and he’d find some girl and… Niall just didn’t wanna be left behind, she was 20, people her age probably already had _children_ and she hadn’t even gotten a proper kiss yet. Not that she was desperate, only slightly worrying about whether it actually had something to do with her personally.

“I gotta feeling somebody will die in the first 5 minutes.” Liam whispered, almost causing Niall to flinch because she had been deep in thoughts for a moment, not even having noticed that the movie had already started even though Louis had put the sound up high enough just to make sure Niall and Liam would definitely get scared. 

“Who’d you reckon would die first if someone broke in here right now?” Maybe not the happiest topic to talk about right now, but it was still better than paying full attention to the movie, which had managed to get creepy within literally a second and Niall was automatically holding on a bit tighter to the teddy bear, letting herself fall a bit more towards Liam. 

“Louis, definitely, because he’d pretend he isn’t scared just to make us look like we are.” Sounded pretty legit to Niall, she threw a grin at Liam, as far as that was possible without any of the lights on. “And you’d be the only one to live probably, ‘cos you wouldn’t go check and just stay in your room and then you’d made me go instead.”

“That’s not even true, Li, don’t pretend you’re braver than me.” Due to the fact that they had to whisper, Liam let out a weird sound as he tried to suppress his chuckle as well and Niall just rolled her eyes even though he couldn’t even see. He was probably right though, somehow. “I’d say we both stay hidden, you’d probably be way too scared anyways.”

“Well, I’d do it to protect you, since you can’t take care of yourself and because you’re the girl.” He didn’t mean it like that, was only teasing Niall, and the girl knew she would have gotten an apology within a second had she just pretended to be mad, but she wasn’t, especially not when Liam’s hand that had been resting on the back of the couch started to absently play with a few pieces of her hair.

“Oh, shut up Payno, I- _oh my god_.” Right when Niall had been about to get started on this, her eyes had been on the TV, immediately growing wider as Liam’s prediction indeed came true, only with a lot more blood and more out of nowhere than expected, causing her to pull her legs up on the couch, just to be sure, arm now brushing Liam’s side. 

“That… was a lot worse than I thought.” Liam’s voice was almost only a breath even if Harry and Louis were way too concentrated as to hear them anyways, and the volume of the TV helping with that as well, but that didn’t actually make the situation any better. “I think I’m gonna need to pull the being tired card a bit sooner than we said.”

There was literally nothing for Niall to answer, because just as she had opened her mouth, there was yet another very scary scene in the movie and without even thinking about it, she had her face buried against Liam’s chest, not minding at all when his arm finally dropped around her shoulders, keeping her in close with such a tight grip that it almost hurt. At least she wasn’t the only one almost shitting her pants here. 

The good thing was, Niall literally didn’t have just one single second anymore to think of what worries she had had before, because even though she spent half the movie not even looking at the screen and saving it for the times where she felt like Louis might have looked over to them, it was still scary and gross as hell. No idea what made Louis and Harry watch these kinda things, maybe Niall was just being overdramatic or something but the fact that Liam’s face was buried in her hair half the time and his arms were wrapped around her as if he needed to hold onto something made that theory a lot less likely.

It seemed like ages until the credits were finally rolling and Niall knew that she would hate herself for this in just a second, as soon as the lights were turned back on, but she didn’t even think of moving from her position, being half in Liam’s lap, the boy’s arms around her, somehow squishing hers and the teddy underneath and honestly, it didn’t even matter anymore. At least feeling Liam’s chest rising, feeling his body right there and his arms holding her made Niall the tiniest bit less paranoid about someone stabbing her to death tonight. God had that been a terrible movie.

“So, what’d you guys think?” Louis probably had the stupidest grin in the whole world on his lips as he turned the lights back on and looked at Niall and Liam like this, neither of them having moved or attempting to. 

“Worst movies I’ve ever seen and you guys need to get yourselves checked, I hope you know that.” Liam sounded just slightly breathless, but Niall couldn’t really see his face, in her mind trying everything to block out these scenes she had just witnessed, barely even noticing the way Louis looked at her and then at Liam, winking at the other boy.

“You’re welcome.” Was all he said, which made no sense to Niall in any way, but she had bigger problems than trying to figure out what exactly Louis was trying to say with that. “Think we’re gonna head to bed now… or do you wanna watch another, Haz?”

“Nah, I think I’m kinda tired too… are you guys… okay?” Harry seemed slightly more concerned and less amused, or maybe he was just trying to be nice, getting up from the chair as well and Niall could barely even look at him or listen to his words because she was still too focused on what she had just seen. That’d result in some pretty terrible nightmares for sure, they’d definitely have to talk about that camping trip in a few days again.

“Yeah, we’re… good.” Niall half choked out, desperately trying to somehow overplay the fact that she was scared shitless of having to be by herself in a bit, knowing that Louis was reading her like an open book anyways though. If he tried to pull a prank on her tonight, that’d definitely be the last thing he’d be doing. 

“You’re a bit pale, Ni.” Louis noted with a grin before turning off the TV and Niall slowly started to move out of Liam’s arms, already feeling herself getting cold, her attempts to come off as completely normal seemingly pointless. 

“I’m just… tired is all. The movie wasn’t even that bad.” She kept on lying, probably overdoing it a bit because Louis just laughed at her and Harry was clearly trying his hardest not to join, but the girl didn’t even look at them, kinda nervously playing with her hair while she was still sitting way too close to Liam, trying her hardest to not get paranoid and look over her shoulder or something. You never knew who might have been in the kitchen, right?

“Whatever you say, Nialler, think you and Liam aren’t really on the same page though.” Turning her head, Niall could see that Liam was probably as pale as she felt like and yet he still somehow managed to come off as somewhat relaxed, his smile a bit shaky and his thigh pressing a bit too hard into Niall’s. “Well, we’re gonna go to bed then, night guys, don’t forget to check under your beds. Oh, also, I’m not sure if I locked the door so can you maybe go and check that too?”

Throwing a glare at the stupidly grinning boy while he and Harry walked past, Niall decided to swallow down the ‘Fuck you’ that had already been on the tip of her tongue, instead trying to feel relieved about how she wouldn’t have to pretend as if everything was fine once the other two were gone. Not that that’d make anything better really.

Harry threw a somewhat worried look at them before wishing them a good night too, and literally the second the door to Louis’ room was shut, Niall pulled her legs back on the couch, grabbing tightly onto Liam’s hand as she pressed back into him. Now it was definitely too quiet, just the two of them here and yeah the lights were still turned on, but… “Li, I don’t wanna die.”

“We’re not gonna die, let’s just…. let’s just calm down for a second, okay? It was just a movie and-“

“It said based on real events at the end, didn’t you see that?” Trying to be subtle about looking around the main room of their flat, Niall felt her heart beating a bit faster as she thought about whether Louis had been joking about the door thing or not. 

“It… it was probably just there to make it scarier.” Liam didn’t sound very convinced by that, having followed Niall’s stare over to the kitchen before taking a deep breath, squeezing her hand a bit. “Do you… do you wanna by any chance… sleep in my room tonight?”

“I was scared you’d never ask.” That was a very huge relief, even though Niall would have probably just kept holding onto Liam’s hand anyways had he not asked and just gone with him, but she did manage something like a smile at him, just so she could turn her head around in panic when a car drove by rather loudly underneath the window. 

“Okay, c’mon, we’ll just… lock my door and it’ll be fine, okay? It wasn’t even real.” Though neither of them felt like moving, Niall allowed Liam to pull her onto her feet, immediately grabbing a hold of Liam’s wrist too and keeping the teddy bear under her arm as she kept as close to Liam as humanly possible, literally only being able to take like two steps before suddenly…

“I gotta pee.” Niall blurted out, hating herself for it but just the fact that that was the most inconvenient time for her to need the toilet made her having to go even more.

“I… I can, um… wait in my room and-“

“No, I can’t… I can’t go in myself _and_ back to your room, you… you gotta come with me. Please?” Trying her puppy eyes and a pout, Niall wasn’t very surprised to see Liam giving in immediately, probably not only because he felt bad for her but also because he didn’t look very much like he wanted to be by himself either.

Since the bathroom was right next to the front door, they did actually get to check whether it was locked, which it was, and Niall cursed Louis under her breath before pulling Liam into the bathroom with her, immediately turning on the lights and locking the door, a huge pressure falling off of her. The room was so small and there were no creepy corners and it was light and maybe they should have slept in here instead. 

“That’s a lot better… can you hold Bean?” Slowly letting go of Liam’s hand, Niall gave him the teddy bear instead, not even having thought about what she had said or noticing the look on the brunette boy’s face.

“Bean? You called the bear Bean?” He sounded surprised, not in a negative way though, and Niall felt herself smiling just a bit as her best friend immediately turned around as she walked to the toilet. 

“Yeah, why?” Peeing in front of Liam should have maybe felt weird but… somehow it didn’t it all, he wasn’t looking or anything, just maybe found it gross or something, but if he did, he never said a word about it.

“I don’t know… it’s my nickname.” Was all he said and for a moment Niall almost thought he sounded upset or something.

“Yeah, I know, Li, I gave it to you, and you gave the bear to me so I thought… it kinda fits, doesn’t it? And you’re like my life size teddy bear for whenever we… watch movies like before, so… “ They weren’t looking at each other obviously, since Niall was sitting on the toilet and everything, so she didn’t feel weird about saying that, but also… it was true after all.

“Oh… “ Was all Liam made, sounding very taken off guard but not uncomfortable or anything and Niall felt fondness spreading inside of her when he continued, a lot more happier sounding than before. “I think… I think I like that then.”

“Good, ‘cos it’s true.” Flushing the toilet, Niall got dressed again before washing her hands, seeing the slightest taint of pink on Liam’s cheeks as he stood next to her, biting the inside of her cheek so she wouldn’t grin too widely. Liam was just so cute. “Maybe you should go too… just in case, you know, I don’t think we’d survive a second trip to the bathroom and I don’t want you to pee in a bottle like Louis did last summer.”

“Right, yeah, I… here.” He was obviously still thinking about the name thing and Niall couldn’t help but giggle a bit as she took the bear once more, watching as Liam tried to rub at his face to get the red to disappear. Well, there had been something good about that movie, not only was Niall gonna be scared as hell as soon as they walked back out the bathroom, but also, she was so distracted with all of that and with how cute Liam’s reaction had just been that she didn’t have time to spend just one single second on that one topic she hated so much. 

Niall’s room was actually right opposite of the bathroom, but it was also right next to the front door, so they still decided on Liam’s room, again holding hands once they had counted down to ten, tried to calm themselves down before opening the door and Niall was pretty sure that she had never needed so little steps to be inside of Liam’s room and behind his closed door. Damn, as much fun as she had just had in the bathroom, as scary had it been to leave it _and_ having to turn off the lights on their way. 

“I hate Louis for this, I have no idea what I’ve been thinking agreeing to this bullshit.” Without having talked about it, they had both started checking every corner of Liam’s room, inside the closet and under the bed, just to be perfectly sure because… you never knew right? “If he pulls a prank on us tonight or on our camping trip I’m personally going to strangle him.”

“I’ll hold him for you.” Liam offered, returning the smile Niall threw at him before climbing into the boy’s mattress once she had gotten back up from looking under the bed, placing the teddy bear on the bedside table. “Should we like… leave on the light on my desk?”

“Hmmm, if you want to, but… I think I’m feeling quite safe in here now and… if a murderer breaks in he’d probably choose the room with the light first.” That only sounded logical, right? Niall was kinda really glad that they were equally scared, even if she knew that Liam wouldn’t have made fun of her had she been the only one, but it was somewhat comforting. Also being with him in general, because Niall was pretty damn sure that her best friend would have done anything to protect her in the unlikely event that something would have really happened.

“Okay, I… I’ll leave it off then. But I’ll pull the curtains back.” The boy decided, waiting for Niall to get somewhat comfortable in his bed before turning off the main lights, swearing a few times as they were plunged in darkness and he couldn’t find his way back to the bed immediately, making Niall giggle under her breath. “That’s not funny, Ni.”

“Sorry.” The girl brought out while still being amused, suddenly realizing that Liam’s second blanket was in the closet but then deciding that she didn’t care as she just got under his, taking his second pillow though to rest her head on as she waited for him to lie down next to her, having to move close because they only had one blanket to use. “Are you still scared?”

“I don’t know… I feel better now, I think… you?” Once Liam had settled down, it was quickly becoming warming in bed, his breath almost hitting Niall’s face because of how close they were, legs knocking into each other occasionally, but it was good this way because nothing would have been worse than being alone right now.

“I feel better too… ‘m just kinda worried for our camping trip now, I don’t think Louis will let us forget that movie so quickly.” Both of them were lying on their sides and though Niall couldn’t really see Liam very well because it was dark, her eyes were slowly getting used to it, also because the boy’s curtains were wide open. 

“Don’t worry about it, we’ve gone camping there way too many times, if anything weird happens, we’ll immediately know it was Louis. And remember, I got that lock for our tent a year ago so he won’t be able to do much.” That was true, and luckily, ever since Harry went with them, Niall and Liam got a tent for themselves, even if it was the shitty and old one, that was still better than lying next to the person who would think it would be funny to wake them in the middle of the night while pretending to be a ghost or something. Not that Niall didn’t love Louis, but his pranks could go slightly too far. “Also, Harry would probably stop him anyways.”

“Yeah… it’s a good thing they’re dating or I would have long committed a murder.” Laughing a bit, Niall felt her hand bumping against Liam’s as she moved, not thinking much of it though because that just happened when you shared a blanket and Liam wasn’t really moving away so she just stayed like that, feeling about ten million times better than she had all day. Or week, actually. “Hey… thanks again for the Valetine’s present.”

“You’re welcome… I’m glad you liked it so much, I… I wasn’t so sure.” Liam still sounded somewhat nervous for some reason and Niall was pretty sure that his cheeks had turned red once more, just like they had before in the bathroom and earlier when he had given the bear to her, but honestly, there was no reason for him to ever blush because Niall would have pretty much loved anything he could have possibly given to her. 

“I really love it, Li, Louis was being a bit stupid about it, but… forget about him.” Then again, Niall wasn’t even sure if Liam would have still given the bear to her after her little outbreak, so there was that.

“I already have anyways, it’s okay…” His voice had gotten more quiet now, softer, maybe because they were in bed and had kinda calmed down a bit, and Niall let her eyes fall shut for a bit, feeling comfortable sharing a blanket with Liam, knowing that she was safe here with him. “Are you… feeling alright? Just because, you know… because of the thing with your mum and everything, I’m just… I was just a bit worried about you the past few days.”

That kinda caused Niall’s heart jumping a bit faster, a warm feeling settling in her stomach as she decided that it wouldn’t be weird to turn her hand a little bit until she could intertwine their fingers between them. How had she deserved such an amazing friend? “I’m all good, bean, don’t worry about me… it was just… it was nothing, really, I just… I overreacted a bit and then… I don’t know, like… I still think about it but… it’s okay, I’m fine, and… and you’re really helping me a lot as well, so thank you… “

“Anytime, Nialler… I’m always here, okay? Whenever you wanna talk about anything at all, and you’re not overreacting at all, I really get it, Ni, I do.” Squeezing the girl’s hand, Liam’s words sounded genuine, and gentle, thumb briefly rubbing over Niall’s skin and the girl felt herself smiling into the darkness, moving just the tiniest bit closer to her friend. “Should we maybe… try and get some sleep?”

“Okay… I’m here to protect you, in case you’re afraid.” It was a joke of course, and Niall chuckled because she knew Liam was most definitely rolling his eyes at her, for some reason leaning forward the tiniest bit until her lips brushed the back of his hand. “Goodnight… don’t have any nightmares… “

“You too, Ni… sleep well.” He was almost only just whispering now and though Niall knew that it couldn’t have been because he had suddenly gotten so sleepy, she didn’t really think about it anymore, just squeezed the boy’s hand some more, not planning on letting it go either.

Obviously, they could have been talking about this topic for forever, because somehow it was always on Niall’s mind, even if only in the back of her head, but for now, lying here like this with Liam, listening to his breathing, feeling the warmth of his body and his hand around hers, it seemed fairly easy to just put her troubles aside and try to find some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! glad so many of you seem to get used to fact that nialls a girl in the fic haha! i promise something more exciting will happen very soon i just kinda really enjoy all the fluffiness and all the cuddling, i hope you dont mind haha! but watch out, things will change very soon! 
> 
> let me know if you liked the chapter! :D


	4. Chapter 4

It was a long way home, which was why they didn’t really go that much, but Liam kinda didn’t mind at all when he was on the train with all of them, mostly with Niall who was sitting next to him the whole entire time, even taking the teddy bear he had given to her and Liam didn’t know why, but it still made him happy even though she had been sleeping with it ever since he had given it to her a few days ago. 

They all lived a little bit apart, just a few minutes, but it still felt weird once they all said their goodbyes for now, at least until tomorrow when they’d go on their camping trip, and Liam may have hugged Niall a little bit too tightly because even though it’d only be for a little bit and he was also excited to see his family and everything but… he had just gotten very used to being around Niall. Also… they hadn’t really talked anymore about what had happened a bit ago, but the girl never really enjoyed spending time with her family all that much and obviously, he was worried about her.

“Mum, I’m home!” Liam lived closest to the train station, so he had gotten home by foot, having waited though until the bus had come for the other three, dropping his bag next to the door, not having enough time to take his shoes off because his mother was already there kissing his cheek and squeezing his face one second later. 

“Oh, I was already gonna call you, I thought something happened, you’re so late.” She sounded worried, but she always was so Liam just smiled, feeling himself relaxing a bit. He hadn’t been home in a while and even though all this craziness could get slightly much, he still loved his family and he loved being home, even more now that he had moved away. 

“It’s only like 6 minutes, mum. I waited for the bus with the others.” The boy explained, finally having time to take off his shoes as well before following his mum in the kitchen, having smelled the food before he had even entered the house. Hopefully Niall was getting something to eat at home as well. 

“How are they all doing? Everyone good? You look so thin, honey, are you eating enough?” Actually, Liam hadn’t lost any weight at all, probably only gained some since they ordered in so often, but he just smiled anyways, wanting to help his mum but she just told him off, like usual, so instead, he went to sit at the table, surprised by how familiar everything looked, how it seemed as if nothing had even been moved a single centimeter.

“They’re all really good. Louis brought his boyfriend again, he’s coming with us tomorrow.” Of course all their parents knew about their camping trips, and all of them found them great except for Niall’s, calling them ‘not something a girl would do’, and it was stupid really, but they couldn’t have done anything to stop her anyways. Especially because a few years ago, they had always been absolutely thrilled about them.

“Oh, that’s great, and those two are so cute together, aren’t they?” She honestly meant it, and Liam didn’t do anything except for shrug his shoulders a bit because his mum couldn’t see him anyways from where she was standing and stirring in one of the pots she had on the stove. Considering that it was only for the two of them and for Liam’s dad when he came home in the evening, it’d probably turn out to be way too much again. “How’s Niall? I haven’t seen her in such a long time, I almost miss waking up at night because you two are playing video games in your room.”

“She’s good too, yeah… “ Immediately, Liam felt his mind drifting off just slightly, he was actually sure that his mother knew about his stupid crush, or more like, the fact that he had been in love with and been pining for Niall for _ages_ , but she had never really asked him directly or anything, just dropped a few hints here and there. “’m sure she’ll come over once we’re back from the trip.”

“Well, she better, I bought way too much food yesterday and who else is gonna eat all of that? Funny really, she’s such a small girl and she could probably eat for all of us.” Karen laughed and Liam joined a bit, just because it was true, even though Niall didn’t really like hearing that but… it’s not like it was negatively affecting her to eat a lot, so. “Speaking of which, do you guys need any snacks for tomorrow in the car? Who’s driving?”

“I think we… we can get ourselves some snacks, thanks though and… I guess I’ll be driving, Niall and Louis have already gotten into a fight about it, so… “ Shrugging to himself, Liam was kinda worried about that topic, he had talked about it with Harry as well, agreeing that it’d probably be best if they took turns, only the two of them, even if it’d lead to some protests. At least they’d all arrive in one piece. “It’s not that long of a drive anyways.”

“Just make sure to be careful, okay? How long are you staying?” It was always the same, they always stayed the same amount of time and went to the same exact place but Liam knew that his mother would always be worried and though he used to get annoyed by it as a teenager, he really got it now somehow.

“Three nights, like usually. I don’t think I could stand Louis playing pranks on us for any longer than that.” Laughing a bit though it was actually the truth, Liam almost shivered a bit as he thought back to the movie they had watched on Valentine’s day, how terrible it had been and yet… and yet the night had ended with Niall sleeping in his bed and holding his hand so really… maybe the brunette boy actually needed to thank Louis or something.

“That’s good, then you’ll be back in time for when the baby comes.” Wait… what?

“You mean… Greg’s baby?” Oh god, just a few weeks ago Liam and Niall had talked about this and neither of them had had any idea how far along Greg’s girlfriend was, so hearing this obviously surprised Liam. Well, it certainly would surprise Niall even more once _she_ found out. Holy shit, she was gonna be an _aunt_.

“Oh, dear… Niall’s really not started calling home more often, has she?” For some reason, Karen sounded really sad about that, it’s not like it was a secret that Niall and her parents had some problems, and maybe that was one reason why Niall had been at Liam’s house so often when they had still been in school, because his mother almost treated hrt as if she was her own daughter. “But yes, Greg’s baby, it’ll be a girl, they wanted to keep it a secret but one of them accidentally told Maura and there was a lot of drama, as you can imagine.”

“Yeah, I think I can.” There was always drama over at that house, now Liam felt slightly worse thinking that Niall had to be there now, but she would have surely texted him had anything happened, right? She knew she could always come over, at any time, really. “What’re they gonna call her?”

“They didn’t say anything, I think they don’t even know it themselves yet, actually, but they still got a few days to figure that out. Could you get some plates, honey?” And like that, the conversation had taken a turn and Liam immediately got up, still stuck in thoughts though as he got stuff out of the cupboard without having to think about it despite the fact that he hadn’t been home in a while. Well, that would surely be a fun break, or at least… a very eventful one.

They ate for a pretty long time, afterwards just sitting there and talking, catching up, even though Liam called his mother at least once a week anyways. It felt good to be home though, and for a moment he caught himself wishing they wouldn’t go on the trip tomorrow, so he could spend some more time here, but it’d be fine anyways, they’d be back and then afterwards he’d still have enough time to spend with his mum, and also his dad, and his sisters once they got here in a few days as well for the rest of the break.

Liam had always had a really good relationship with his entire family, so obviously, it had been hard for him imaging how Niall must have felt all her life, but he had always been trying his best to help her, always invited her over, told her it’d be fine if she wanted to stay overnight, even for more than just one. That was also one reason why they had grown so close, because they had basically grown up side by side, but it had also gotten Liam worried a lot, back then when he had still thought maybe he had a chance with her, that she saw him a lot like a brother and nothing more. Now though, the brunette boy was almost 99% certain of that, and it was fine like this, right? Well… until the moment Niall would be in her first relationship, because Liam had never had much reason to be jealous of anyone, sure, he had been jealous whenever Niall had had a crush and immediately told him about it, like best friends do, but… he had no idea what it’d be like once it got _serious_. He’d never be able to tell her, would he?

After eating dinner, Liam helped his mum cleaning up the kitchen before watching some random movie with her until his dad got home from work and it was almost like it had always been, up until two years ago when he had moved. It almost got him slightly nostalgic when Louis texted him pictures of the food his mum had made for him and Niall texted him about how her parents had yet again bought her a very questionable item of clothing she would probably never wear and then two seconds later freaking out about how she would be an aunt in a few day and didn’t have a present. Good thing Liam’s mum had bought way too many presents already, he could surely get her to give one of them to his best friend to pretend it was from her. 

It was late when Liam finally went to bed, having made sure to pack all his stuff for tomorrow into his backpack, and take things with him that the others would probably forget just like they did every year. One time Niall had literally forgotten her tampons and good thing Liam’s mum was just as overprotective of the girl as him because she had convinced him to take some with him since they all knew how easily the girl forgot stuff like this. 

The boy’s room was on the first floor as the only bedroom in the house, simply because he was the youngest one, so obviously, his sisters had gotten to choose before he had even been born. Because of that though, Louis had often tried to convince Liam to sneak out, which he had only ever done one time and then later told his parents about it because they hadn’t done anything other than walking down the street while Louis had tried drinking a bottle of whatever alcohol it had been, almost having had to throw up after one sip though. 

Another thing though, one that Liam had enjoyed seemingly more, had been the fact that Niall had always had it fairly easy to just sneak into his room at night. Not that she couldn’t have just slept over whenever she had wanted to, but her parents had sometimes grounded her something, so she had used the fact that it was so easy for her to get into Liam’s room a few too many times maybe. Tonight though, Liam really wasn’t thinking about that at all.

He had almost been on the verge of sleep, trying to get his best out of his last night in a real bed when he suddenly felt himself coming awake once more, not quite sure from what until he heard the noise yet again. It was knocking on his window, or like, a small stone hitting it, almost like the thing Niall used to always do when... but she hadn’t even texted him. 

Feeling only slightly scared because he remembered the movie they had watched a few days ago, Liam flicked on his bedside table lights before rolling out of bed, waiting for a moment, until the sound was there again before pushing himself off of the mattress, walking over to the window, curtains pulled in front of it. Would it be embarrassing to say that his heart was already beating fast, not only because of that movie but also because he was fairly certain that it was indeed Niall? Then again… if she was here, that meant something must have happened, and she had only been home for a few hours. 

Pulling the curtains back in a quick movement before he could change his mind out of being slightly scared, Liam couldn’t really see much because of the light in his room being reflected in the glass, so the boy opened it up as well, being hit by fairly cold air that reminded him to pack another jumper for their trip. 

“Ni?” It was pitch black outside, but Liam could definitely see a figure standing underneath his window, not far though since he was on the first floor, but that was definitely her hair hidden underneath that hoodie and her backpack slung over one shoulder, immediately causing him to relax. “What’re you doing? Why didn’t you text me?”

“I thought you were already asleep. Can I come in?” They were whispering, because Liam’s parents’ room was right above his and it was kinda funny that they immediately fell back into old habits like that. 

“’course, gimme your backpack.” Reaching down, Liam made sure to take her bag off of her, placing it in his room before stretching both his arms down to her once more, slightly afraid of Niall slipping and hurting herself or something. God, just the thought that she had most likely walked here all by herself gave Liam anxiety, he would have picked her up had she texted him, no question. “C’mon, I got you… careful.”

“I know, Payno, not doing this for the first time, am I?” She chuckled a bit, still allowing Liam to help her though as she climbed into his room and the boy held her a bit tighter than necessary, head spinning a bit as her perfume and shampoo hit his nose, suddenly having her so close when he had least expected it. At one hand, Liam felt so happy it was ridiculous, on the other hand though… he was slightly worried, even after seeing the girl’s grin once she was standing next to him. Something had happened for sure. “Thanks, that was higher than I remember.”

“Well, you didn’t grow all that much.” Laughing a bit at the face she pulled after that, Liam made sure to close the window once more because it wasn’t exactly warm outside and Niall slipped off her shoes and her hoodie, wearing the clothes she usually slept in underneath. “Did you… walk all the way here?”

“Yeah, the busses don’t go anymore after ten. But don’t pull that face, Li, we all know it’s dead empty and quiet here, and I didn’t even walk for very long either.” Obviously, Niall didn’t think that this was a big deal at all and though she was already here and safe, Liam still got nervous thinking about it. “I even told my dad, he was still up when I left.”

“And he just let you go? What’d you say?” Honestly, Liam wasn’t really sure anymore whether something had even happened because Niall acted really normal as she sat down on the boy’s bed, looking around the room for a bit, as if anything could have changed since last time they had been home. 

“I just said I’ll sleep at your house and he said okay and asked when I’ll be back so I told him about the camping trip and I was out the door before he could complain.” Right, Niall’s parents had stopped being a fan of those trips whenever they had changed their whole mind set on how Niall had to act and shit like that, but it didn’t really seem like it was affecting her right now. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, you… you didn’t. I was just… surprised, like… did anything… happen?” Asking carefully, Liam half lied back down on the other side of the bed once more, trying to suppress a yawn.

“Nope, not really. I was just home and then we fought a bit over something and then Greg randomly came over with his girlfriend and then I tried to pretend like I knew about when the baby is coming and then… then I went to my room and pretty much fell asleep for a few hours. And when I woke up, I kinda decided I didn’t wanna stay at my house because it feels kinda weird and… I don’t know, I’m used to at least having you in the room next to me.” Oh, well… that was surprisingly more pleasant than Liam would have dared to imagine. “You don’t mind, do you, I can-“

“No, no, I don’t mind at all, I… I was just worried, you know, ‘cos… your parents and…. I… I’ll definitely sleep better if you’re here, so… “ Feeling himself just flushing slightly, Liam didn’t feel too embarrassed about admitting that since Niall had done the same, he was just getting a bit more excited about it than he should have. 

“It was nothing about my parents, really, I mean, they were annoying but… it wasn’t out of the ordinary, so… I just can’t freaking believe I’ll be an aunt in like… a few days? Not that I’m gonna see the baby a lot, but… that’s crazy, isn’t it? You’ll come with me to the hospital, right? I don’t… I don’t even know how to hold a baby.” She sounded just a little bit freaked out and Liam offered a smile, trying not to make it look as if he was amused because he was, just slightly though. “Don’t laugh at me, Liam, you’ve never held a baby either, what if we drop it?”

“You won’t drop the baby, Nialler, don’t worry about it, yeah? It’ll be fine, babe.” It wasn’t that big of a deal, but Liam knew where her troubles were coming from, and maybe he was slightly nervous as well, but he could definitely not let it show right now when she was relying on him. 

“I’m gonna hold you to that, Payno. Even though… after that camping trip and god knows how many stupid ideas Louis has already come up with, I probably won’t be worried about much anymore if we only get back alive.” Unfortunately, Liam did have two blankets in his bed, so Niall simply got herself the second one, taking one of the many pillows Liam had and they weren’t even touching or anything as she lied down as well, just like she had done so many times before. Remarkable really, how many times they had spent in the same bed the last few weeks, and Liam had already thought he was lucky about getting to share a tent with her. Not that he was crazily obsessed with Niall sleeping in his bed or thought anything would come out of it, it was just… he liked having her there next to him, it was familiar, comforting, and well… obviously he didn’t mind being physically close to her either. “Do you think we can jump in the lake?”

“If we wanna freeze to death then… “ Didn’t sound like a good idea at all, and Liam was slightly worried about the excitement in Niall’s voice, turning his head a bit so he could look at her profile, the way she was looking up at his ceiling instead, a few pieces of hair having fallen out of her ponytail. Just staring like that for a moment got Liam’s heartbeat unsteady, she was so damn beautiful and she didn’t even know. “If Louis dares you to jump in then _please_ don’t do it.”

“I’m gonna agree and make him jump first and then hide his towel.” A smile spread on her lips as she talked and Liam couldn’t help but return it, shaking his head at her before reaching around a bit to turn off the bedside table light once more, plunging them into darkness. “Actually… I don’t think I even packed a towel for myself.”

“it’s okay, I got one for you.” Honestly, Liam had packed everything double, out of habit really, it wasn’t as if he had to carry all that stuff very far and he was just crazily worried, not only about Niall but somehow about Harry and Louis as well, it was just who he was. “Also got a blanket in case the sleeping bag gets too cold and at least two hoodies so you can have one as well and another toothbrush and snacks my mum bought us and phone chargers and-“

Before Liam could continue with his list, also using it a bit to mentally check off his packing list, Niall kinda interrupted him by leaning over out of nowhere, causing him to immediately stumble over his words as she had probably been aiming for his cheek but instead her lips awkwardly met the bridge of Liam’s nose, which of course didn’t prevent him from turning into a tomato though. “You’re so cute, Li, what would we all be doing without you?” 

“I… I don’t know… “ Probably starve and freeze to death, but Liam kinda felt a bit breathless now, trying to recover from what had just happened, barely even noticing that when Niall had lied back down, she seemed to be much closer than before.

The girl just laughed to herself, adjusting herself a little bit next to Liam and honestly, somehow he managed to turn even hotter and redder when her fingers ran through his hair, softly and slowly, as if she knew that it gave him ten billion tingles and butterflies in his stomach, as if she enjoyed knowing that she was driving him crazy. Not only with touches, but also with words. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Nialler… “ Liam’s voice had sounded a bit weird, he tried to clear his throat quietly afterwards, tried to swallow the disappointment and at the same time trying not to get too excited. This wasn’t unusual after all and yet… yet he couldn’t seem to get used to it either. 

They talked for a while, or actually, Niall did while Liam just listened, occasionally giving answers, but more focused on breathing normally underneath the strokes of Niall’s fingers through his hair, her quiet voice right next to him, and once he had managed to fully calm down and somewhat get his face and ears to stop burning, he was pretty sure he fell asleep just as the girl moved even closer towards him, talking about something Liam felt himself smiling about right before drifting off.

 

\-------------

 

Niall had been kinda scared about coming home, but it hadn’t been as bad as she had feared since her parents hadn’t really been talking to her all that much and they had only had a small argument over something stupid, like usually. Still though, lying in her childhood bed afterwards and staring at the ceiling, it hadn’t felt quite as comfortable as she did at her and the boy’s flat, like sure, she came home during almost every break, but it still always felt a bit weird. And knowing that the only people in the house were her parents and not Liam and Louis wasn’t really helping with that.

When Niall had randomly decided though that she would just go to Liam’s house instead because there was no way she’d be able to fall asleep anytime soon, she had almost felt euphoric, about seeing the boy’s house, his room, even his mother in the morning, about 10 times more than she would have ever felt about seeing her own family. Not that Niall hated them but… obviously there were things standing between them, there always would be, and though her brother’s girlfriend had told Niall she needed to come visit at the hospital once the baby was born, that she wanted her to be there, wasn’t really gonna change the girl’s mind. Her real family were the boys, Liam especially, so it was natural that she’d rather be with him, right? At least that’s what she told herself.

Honestly, Niall couldn’t really fall asleep once she was lying in Liam’s bed either, but it was fine, she was probably awake for another hour after the boy’s breathing had gone even and the girl just listened. Looking at him as far as that was possible in complete darkness, running her fingers through his hair occasionally because she knew he liked that, Niall’s mind was still stuck with the fact that she would be an aunt soon, and then moving on to thinking about whether she’d ever have kids of her own and that was exactly when she had to kinda let it go and try to find some sleep as well, knowing that there was no point in getting herself worked up again now. They were on break, they’d go on a camping trip and it’d be fun and Niall wouldn’t spend just one second thinking about her non existing love life. 

Right… that was easier said than done.

“You’re gonna drive, right? And Harry?” Niall had gotten slightly worried thinking about this, jumping around a bit where she was standing next to Liam, in front of his house, trying to somehow keep herself warm. It was early in the morning and they were waiting for Louis and Harry to come pick them up and yet Liam’s mother had been awake as well, not even asking why Niall was here and hugging her so tightly that the girl had thought she’d fall unconscious. Not that she had minded, it was nice knowing that someone was happy about to see her, even if it resulted in 100 questions being asked within 2 seconds and Liam rolling his eyes, but… at least that made up for the disinterest her own parents showed in everything she did.

“Yeah, I mean… that’s what we agreed on, I don’t know if Louis will insist on driving, since it’s his mother’s car, so… “ Liam pulled a bit of a face at that before looking at Niall, his expression immediately changing before the girl could even think about replying. “Your lips are already blueish, Nialler, I think we should go and get you something warmer before the others get here.”

“No, it’s fine, Li, really, I’m just… I’m just tired and it’s really early.” All of that was true, even though Niall was indeed feeling as if she had to freeze to death any second, the others would be here soon and then she’d get to warm up in the car, no need for Liam to worry about her. “I’m good, really, I’m not even that cold, I-“

Not getting to finish her sentence, Niall didn’t protest when Liam cut her off by wrapping his arms around her, pretty tightly, their bags lying somewhere scattered next to them on the sidewalk and the girl immediately gave in, sinking into his warm body, arms wrapping around his middle while Liam rubbed her back, trying his best to warm her up. God, he was so sweet, also an hour ago when he had woken Niall in the gentlest way possible, being his usual perfect self of course. “I don’t want you to get sick though… I’ll get you the blanket from my backpack before we get into the car, yeah?”

“Okay… thank you, bean.” Honestly, how could Niall have said no? Louis would maybe make fun of her for letting Liam baby her, but the brunette just did it because he genuinely cared about Niall and knowing that made up for all the teasing in the world. Liam would always have her back, nothing else really mattered now, did it? “You’re so warm… “

“I’m glad I can help… “ His voice had sounded slightly hesitant, quieter, but the girl barely noticed, her cheek pressing right underneath Liam’s throat, letting her eyes fall closed for a moment, underneath his soft hands rubbing over her back, breathing in the familiar smell stuck on the boy’s clothes. He really was warm, and soft, and he smelled pretty damn good.

Of course the others were late, and by the time they finally came, Niall had already been about to accept Liam’s offer about getting her something more to put on. His mum had even come outside at some point, surprised because they were still here, and sure, they could have waited inside but how should they have known the others would be like 30 minutes late? Well, at least Niall had had her own personal heater with her, and it’s not like she would ever mind being alone with Liam, so. 

“Nialler, what’re you doing here?” Harry sounded surprised when he got out of the car, luckily the driver’s side, and Louis’ face was only confused for a moment as he did the same before it quickly turned to pretty cheeky. “We were just talking about whether it’d be quicker to pick you up first, luckily we didn’t.”

“I slept at Liam’s place, sorry I forgot to text you.” The girl simply shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of it or be asked any questions, so she quickly let go of Liam, instead collecting her bag and waiting until Harry had opened the trunk for them. “Damn, how much stuff did you guys take?”

“Well, we got the tents and stuff so… let me do it, I’ll squeeze it in somewhere.” Before Niall could even begin to think about where to put her bag, Harry had already taken it upon himself to stuff it in somewhere and the girl was too cold and tired as to protest. Whatever, she didn’t exactly have anything in there that could break. “Give me yours, Li.”

“Yeah, wait, I gotta… “ Right, Liam had promised Niall the blanket and the girl would have stopped him, but he had already pulled it out halfway before she could even say a word, only feeling a little bit stupid when Liam handed it over to her with a smile and Louis very not accidentally brushed her while walking past to help his boyfriend, a chuckle leaving his mouth. God, why did he always have to… make things into something they weren’t?

“Thanks.” Niall thanked Liam with a smile as well before quickly making her way to sit in the backseat because there really wasn’t anything to do for her anyways and she was going to die if she kept on standing there any longer. Hopefully it’d warm up or this trip would quickly turn into a damn nightmare, just like a few years ago when it had been raining the whole time and all they had done was sitting in a tent together and playing a stupid card game Liam had brought, for about 3 days straight. 

“Are you feeling better now?” Liam again sounded worried once they all got back in the car and Niall had barely put on her seatbelt and arranged the blanket in a way so she’d be comfortable, trying not to shiver even though the car was a lot warmer than standing outside. If Liam had noticed, he would have probably insisted Niall would sit in the middle so he could warm her up and even though that wouldn’t have been such a bad idea, the girl didn’t even want to think about the stupid looks Louis would throw at her for that, teasing her about being a baby. 

“Yeah… just tired, but thanks, Li.” The girl threw another smile at him, wanting to reach out but then holding back when she remembered that the other two were sitting in the front. Not that she cared, but… 

“Why’re you tired? What’ve you two been doing the whole night long?” Of course Louis immediately had to turn around while Harry started the car and Niall rolled her eyes before looking out of the window, trying to ignore her friend’s smug grin because it was obvious what he was implying anyways. Why was he so obsessed with the idea of Niall and Liam being… a thing? They were just best friends and they always would be, as if someone like Liam would ever wanna be with somebody like Niall, he saw her as his little sister and that was fine.

“We’ve been sleeping, Tommo.” Liam sounded just a little bit angry, but Niall didn’t bother turning her head to look at him because she would have only met Louis’ eyes and she already had to bite her tongue so she wouldn’t start a fight literally the minute Harry had started the car. 

“If you say so.” Was all Louis responded, and honestly, Niall was so close to saying something, but for some weird reason, she didn’t really get to it. “Does anybody want some cookies? My sisters made them for me and Harry but we probably can’t eat them all anyways.”

“Which sisters?” Positively surprised, Niall obviously didn’t say no to the offer, but still a little unsure as she reached out when Louis held a box full of cookies towards her and Liam.

“The twins. But my mum helped, don’t worry, they’re not bad.” He sounded kinda honest, so Niall decided she didn’t really care because even though Liam’s mum had of course insisted they ate breakfast, she still already kinda felt a bit hungry again. “Maybe a bit too sweet.”

“I like sweet though, gotta get your sisters to bake me something too.” They were cute, and they all liked Niall a lot, or did, when they had all still lived at home and would actually go to each other’s houses, which Niall kinda missed, but then again… she liked living with the boys a lot better.

“They wouldn’t be allowed to, pretty sure my mum’s still not done cleaning the kitchen. How are they?” Louis asked once both Niall and Liam had tried the cookies and Niall just shrugged, not too impressed but also because it was fun to cause the oldest boy to glare a bit at her. 

“They’re alright, I’m pretty hungry though, so.” Right before Louis pulled the box back, a little bit pissed off now, the girl managed to snatch two more cookies, winking at Louis when he just rolled his eyes before looking at Liam instead.

“I like them.” The brunette boy shrugged, causing Louis to smile before finally turning around and actually putting on his seatbelt, but maybe only because Harry reminded him. “If you’re hungry you can have one of the sandwiches my mum made, Ni.”

“Oh… I think maybe later, they were supposed to last the whole ride, weren’t they?” Of course Niall should have known that Liam would immediately take her words too seriously, so she just smiled at him, again feeling her stomach warming up like it always did when Liam would do these random things, always making sure she was alright in whatever way possible.

“Well, I’m not very hungry, so I’d give you mine too if you want it.” See, and that was exactly yet another example.

“It’s okay, bean, thank you though… you want some of the blanket too?” It was big enough for both of them surely and Niall almost felt guilty now that she hadn’t asked before, but maybe that had been a little bit because Harry and Louis had been paying too much attention, but now that Louis had turned on the radio and they were talking in the front, the girl felt a lot more relaxed about asking. 

Obviously, it was quite a long ride, but once Niall and Liam had figured out a way to share the girl’s headphones and gotten warm underneath the blanket, it only felt half as annoying when they had to stop every half an hour because someone needed to pee or got hungry. Harry and Liam also switched at some point and Niall didn’t really have to ask to get Louis to switch seats with her as well, feeding Liam candy and water while he was driving because he couldn’t use his hands and _finally_ being allowed to take control over the radio, even despite Louis’ slight protests. 

They had done this so many times that Niall was pretty sure she’d be dearly missing this if they stopped one day, like, they would eventually of course, but hopefully not for a few years and who knows like… they might still go on camping trips when they were all married with kids or something. Well, the boys at least. 

 

\----------

 

“’m so glad you’re so good at putting up that tent, looks like Lou and Haz will sleep outside tonight.” Niall half whispered to Liam just as the boy had finished putting up their rather small tent in their usual place about half an hour away from where they had parked the car, looking over to see the other two boys struggling quite a bit. “Serves Louis right, he’s never helped you putting up the tent.”

“Well… “ Was all Liam could say to that as he looked at the girl with a smirk, laughing as she rolled her eyes, kicking at some pinecone on the ground, her face going just slightly guilty.

“I offered my help though, at least, I’m just… I’d be more of a bother anyways.” That was true, though Liam would never admit that and instead just quickly squeezed her a bit, he knew that Niall would have helped him had he genuinely needed her. But it was a lot quicker on his own, so. “You gonna help them?”

“Hmm… I think I’ll let them argue for a little bit longer, wait until they come asking, maybe.” That’d be fun, especially because Louis had bragged about how easy it’d be before when they had been walking. Not that Liam had paid too much attention, he had slowed down a bit so he could walk with Niall, just make sure she wouldn’t trip too many times because she tended to do that sometimes. “C’mon, let’s get some sticks, yeah?”

“Okay.” Niall seemed more than amused by Liam’s decision, immediately being up and ready to go search for some fire wood, seemingly in a better mood than she had been this morning, only wearing a light sweater now and the brunette boy felt himself relaxing as well. He had been really worried a few hours ago, also a little bit in the car because Niall had kept herself covered with the blanket the whole ride, which had been pretty damn long, but she seemed to be her happy self again and that was really all Liam wanted. They were on break after all, this was supposed to be fun and he would make sure that it would be. 

Since Harry and Louis weren’t even halfway done with their tent and they all knew their way around this area pretty well, Liam didn’t feel bad for walking a bit with Niall, collecting sticks on the way so they could make a fire later. A small one though, because they weren’t very good at it actually and Liam was way too afraid of causing the forest to burn down or something, like, it was a spot for camping and it wasn’t illegal, but you never knew right?

“You know… I really like plaid on you, and with your shoes, you look like you could actually chop down a tree or something.” Liam almost dropped a few of the sticks he was carrying, not quite sure if that had been a compliment or not, but it had quite sounded like one and either ways, he already felt his cheeks getting hot without even being sure. “I mean, you probably could, right?”

“Umm… I don’t know about that.” The chuckle Liam let out sounded a little bit too nervous, he was just glad that Niall was a few meters away from him, neither of them far enough from their camping site though as to not at least faintly hear Harry and Louis arguing. 

“Sure, you could, you’re really strong. Look at your biceps too… you could probably just push it over.” Now she was just making fun of him, laughing in the way that sent a few sparks down Liam’s spine, his stomach feeling a little bit hotter as he tried not to take this too seriously or think about whether she really thought that his clothes looked good on him and that he was, well… strong. Not that it mattered in any way, but… “And I’d have to watch from twenty meters away because I’m probably the most inappropriately dressed ever.”

“No, you look good, Ni, I… I mean, not like we’re genuinely hiking and chopping down trees, right?” Great, now Liam had embarrassed himself even more, but it was just his natural reaction to compliment her whenever Niall said the slightest negative thing about herself. She probably hadn’t put much thought into what she looked like today because she had been so tired (and cute) when Liam had woken her up, only having stared a tiny bit, but in all honesty, the boy thought she looked gorgeous as ever anyways. God, just thinking about how he’d get to wake up next to her for a few days in a row now almost got him embarrassingly excited, like… of course he liked when they cuddled and stuff, but sometimes it was just enough when they could just talk until they fell asleep, feeling her there when he woke up in the middle of the night, for the split of a second getting a taste of what it could’ve been like if things were different. 

“No, but I was just saying… like… if I imagine someone would wanna kill or rob us or whatever, I’d know you could probably take him down anyways. Remember when you punched that one guy for me in middle school that asked me out as a joke?” Yeah, Liam did remember that very well, even if he didn’t really know why Niall was bringing it up now, all he knew was that his cheeks were probably going to burst into flames soon if the girl kept talking about that she knew he’d protect her and about how strong she thought Liam was.

“Yeah, but… I mean, we were only like 13 back then and he wasn’t very tall, I… I don’t know about someone who’s trying to kill us… “ To be honest, Liam would probably be as scared as Niall, he would try not to be and protect her, but he wasn’t superman after all. Then again, he also didn’t want the girl to feel unsafe with him, like, it was probably stupid how much he was actually enjoying knowing that Niall was trusting him this much. “But I’d still protect you, don’t worry.”

“I know you would, Li, you always do.” It came out easy and yet in a voice Liam couldn’t really identify, busy picking up some more sticks right before he almost dropped all of them when he suddenly felt a hand on his back, not having noticed Niall coming closer until she leaned in. “Thank you… “

“I… you… you’re welcome, Ni… “ Liam felt slightly breathless as he stood up straight again, seeing Niall’s smile and the soft expression on her face that got his stomach doing all sorts of things as he stared down at her, mind feeling a little bit dizzy as he took her in. How could she have not noticed by now?

“I really meant what I said, you know, plaid suits you.” And that was basically all she said before simply carrying on to collect fire wood, as if she hadn’t noticed Liam’s probably really longing stare at her, or the way his whole face had gone red as a tomato, how he couldn’t even think of an answer, still feeling the ghost of her palm touching his back. Maybe Liam was just going crazy.

By the time they got back, Harry and Louis had barely managed to put up their tent, but at least they weren’t arguing anymore, just trying to clear the place a little bit when Niall and Liam dropped all the sticks onto a pile and the brunette boy still felt slightly blushed from a few minutes ago, trying his hardest though to not let it show anymore as he collected stones and Niall decided to join, somehow managing to accidentally brush him every two seconds. 

“Hey, Li, could you maybe look at our tent afterw-“

“Who wants some more cookies? I still got loads left.” Louis very obviously interrupted Harry and Liam had to bite the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t have to laugh, happy about the distraction though because being so close to Niall after all these things she had said made it pretty hard to act normal. 

“Sure, I can look at your tent, Haz.” Grinning, Liam threw a look at Louis’ face, who was just rolling his eyes while kneeling on the ground and going through his backpack, probably not even having any cookies left to offer anyways. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, just… I’m not sure this is supposed to be this way, I just don’t wanna wake up in the middle of the night because it falls down over us or something.” Harry didn’t seem very affected by the glares his boyfriend was throwing at him, he just seemed very concerned about his safety, which was understandable. 

“Well, if you guys would keep it in your pants for once then maybe that won’t happen.” Of course Liam had no chance to really reply to Harry because Niall had already jumped in, just because she always used every single chance to pay Louis back for whatever it was he had said to her hours ago, and maybe she was a little bit right, because well… Liam could definitely think of one reason why they should have put their tent further away from the other’s.

“Yeah, well, at least I’m not afraid of the dark and every single noise that could possibly occur and I don’t have to crawl into Liam’s sleeping bag in the middle of the night.” God, could Louis maybe not bring this up, because Liam was pretty sure he had never slept so good in a sleeping bag before.

“That was _once_ , and there was a bloody thunderstorm outside, and anyways, I was _cold_ , not scared. Doesn’t change the fact that we had to listen to you guys for like half an hour last year.” Niall’s cheeks were a little bit flushed now though she was trying to hide it, putting some of the stones in place and Liam didn’t know what to do or say, throwing a helpless glance at Harry who just shrugged though. Great, if he didn’t care about being quiet, Louis surely wouldn’t either. 

“So? You didn’t have to listen.” Now this was really stupid, Liam just sighed, deciding not to get involved and instead going over to Harry’s and Louis’ tent without really being asked because he would have to check it anyways at some point. At least that was better than running through the forest with Niall while she kept complementing him and he had to hide his blush. If only she could have had the same reactions whenever Liam did the same to her.

They kept on bickering of course, to the point where it got really ridiculous and they noticed it themselves and honestly, Liam wasn’t even surprised that once he was finished making sure Harry’s and Louis’ tent wouldn’t fall down at the tiniest movement, Niall and Louis had finished putting up the fireplace together and were just normally talking about whatever while sitting in the camping chairs. It was always the same with those two.

“Thanks, Li.” Harry still somewhat kept his voice quiet as he smiled at the brunette, seemingly relieved now as he got his stuff into the tent and Liam just waved him off, like, of course he had helped them, he always did. 

“Bean, can you give me my bottle, pretty please?” Niall looked pretty comfortable in her chair, again having gotten Liam’s blanket to get warmer and even if she hadn’t looked so cute like that and used her puppy eyes on the boy, Liam wouldn’t have hesitated to get her what she wanted anyways, not even with everyone watching. 

He didn’t even answer, just walked over to Niall’s stuff, getting her bottle and also some of the snacks his mother had made him pack before going to sit with the others, next to Niall obviously, whose giant smile as he handed her the things could have probably competed with the actual sun or something. 

“Thanks, Payno.” Somehow the girl had managed to sit cross legged on the chair, her whole body covered with the blanket except for her head and arms and Liam had to admit for once that it really was getting cold now that the sun was setting. That had been one long ride and walk. “I just told Louis I’ll be an aunt any day now and he’s tried to give me really bad advice on how to change a diaper, as if he’s that great at it.”

“As if you would _ever_ change that baby’s diapers, Nialler.” Louis just laughed at her and the girl shrugged while drinking from the bottle Liam had brought her and the brunette had to try and hold back a grin because Louis was definitely right there. Then again, Niall probably wouldn’t see the baby very often anyways. “By the way, congrats on becoming an uncle, Li.”

Of course he had had to say something, Liam really tried his hardest to smile and just role his eyes at Louis, praying to heaven that the blush on his face wasn’t too noticeable, glaring a bit when Louis winked at him with a cheeky smirk, but luckily Niall was very busy putting peanuts into her mouth anyways, not having found this strange at all. “Then you’d be an uncle too, Lou, you’re like my big annoying brother who I actually like more than my actual and even more annoying brother, but… “

“Awww, how sweet, Ni, was that an actual word of affection out of your mouth?” Liam felt himself relax at that, for once glad that Niall had immediately decided that _this_ was what Louis had meant, but maybe he wasn’t too happy how his friend continued the conversation. “So if _I’m_ your annoying brother, what’s Liam then? He’s a lot worse.”

“Liam would be like… my twin, I guess.” Great.

“Why? You’re nothing alike.” Did Louis honestly have to push it that much, was it not enough for him that Liam could literally feel his heart drop just slightly as he quickly looked away from Niall’s face, trying to come off natural, as if he didn’t even care that the love of his life saw nothing more in him than a brother. Not like he hadn’t known but… 

“No, but like… a twin is like… your other half, right?” Oh, well… _that_ was certainly better.

Honestly Liam almost choked on his own spit as he met Niall’s eyes after hearing this, seeing the smile on her face, the way Louis was next to her pretending to quietly gag behind her back, only for Liam to see, who wasn’t even sure anymore whether this had just been good or bad, all he knew was that it definitely made it seem a little less hopeless than before. “I… yeah, I… I think so, I-“

“What about me, guys?” Right, Liam wasn’t really sure if Harry actually saved him or ruined everything, all he knew was that Niall didn’t seem to be too thrilled about the distraction either, but she did look away and over to Harry, giving Liam a moment to breathe while desperately trying not to look at Louis now. How could Liam be mad at him for constantly bringing him into these situations when they always somehow turned out in a way that made him feel pretty damn good?

 

\-------------

 

Though Niall had a lot of clothes to put on and had stolen Liam’s blanket, she did end up feeling cold the darker and later it got, it didn’t even really help when the boys finally got a fire going after trying for like 30 minutes and honestly, once she saw that Liam had his sleeves pulled over his hands as well and was probably freezing due to the fact that Niall had stolen his blanket and hoodie, she didn’t really think about it as she went to sit on his lap, making sure they were both covered with the blanket, very pleased when her best friend’s arms wrapped around her waist. Maybe Louis’ face had been a little bit weird, but Niall was very good at ignoring that anyways.

Now though, that they were both lying in their sleeping bags in the tent they shared, the girl wasn’t so sure anymore how she’d survive just one night in this coldness, let alone more. “…Li?”

“Hm?” He wasn’t asleep, he was constantly moving around, probably trying to get comfortable because they never really got used to this, even though they did this every year. Not that it was uncomfortable or anything, it was just different, but way worth the whole trip anyways. But maybe… maybe frostbites weren’t.

“Are you… cold?” Niall didn’t know why she was whispering, there was no use to because literally every two minutes they could hear sounds from Louis’ and Harry’s tent that definitely did not sound like they were just having a normal conversation over there. How did they even get in the mood with bloody pinecones stabbing them in the back?

“A bit… you?” Liam moved again, ending up a little closer to Niall even though they were already touching anyways, for being warmer purposes but also because… that movie from a few days ago hadn’t been completely erased from their minds just yet upon seeing a very dark forest, knowing that they basically were in the middle of nowhere and would have never gotten to their car in case anything would have genuinely happened. Honestly if Liam wouldn’t have been here, Niall would have probably not even thought twice about forcing Louis to drive her back home, no matter with how many jokes it’d end. 

“Kinda, yeah… didn’t think… didn’t think it’d be bloody freezing.” She should have known though, but honestly, what more could Niall do, she was already wearing a shirt and a hoodie and socks and the sleeping bag _and_ Liam’s blanket covering the both of them. 

“Me neither… “ His voice was quiet, a little bit unsure maybe but Niall barely even noticed, trying to wrap the sleeping bag tighter around her body just as her best friend continued, even less audible if any possible. “We could… we could share a sleeping bag, like… I mean, just because it’d get a lot warmer and-“

“Okay, scoot over.” Brilliant idea, Niall didn’t even let Liam finish before already having freed her hands, immediately feeling even colder as she fumbled with the zipper of her best friend’s sleeping bag in complete darkness, opening it up as quickly as possible before doing the same to hers so she could get out and move over.

There was a lot of squeezing and body parts hitting in a few uncomfortable places, but eventually Niall did end up in Liam’s sleeping bag, somehow even managing to zip it up again and though the boy shuddered a bit against the girl whenever her cold hands brushed him, it did immediately seem to get a whole ton warmer. Which probably had something to do with the fact that they were literally touching in every way possible, from their chests down to their legs and the warmth radiating off of Liam honestly felt like heaven right now. 

“That’s so much better.” Niall honestly meant it, not shy to snuggle up to her best friend because she always did anyways, liking the way his arm wrapped around her after a minute, holding her even closer, his warm breath hitting her forehead, slightly uneven for some reason. 

“Yeah… “ Liam was holding her rather tightly, probably trying to warm himself up too and Niall took it as a hint to press closer into him, thinking that just maybe she’d be able to fall asleep like this in a bit. “You still scared?”

“A bit… but I feel a lot better now, as long as Louis doesn’t pull some shit on us… “ He better not even try, especially not now that they had gotten into such a comfortable position and everything, but they had that lock on their tent so… 

“I don’t think he’s gonna think about us for the next few hours… hopefully.” Letting out a quiet laugh, Niall suddenly almost felt slightly weird, once again being reminded that the other two were probably… fucking naked and having sex just a few meters away, not really trying too much to be quiet about it either. 

“That’d be really gross… but at least they’re not gonna get cold, right?” Maybe that was highly inappropriate, but it was the truth though, wasn’t it? Or maybe not, not like Niall knew anything about sex.

“I guess not… don’t think they’re actually, uh… really doing much at all, their tent is pretty small as well.” Clearly, that was a very weird topic for the two of them to talk about, at this moment especially, falling into a small silence afterwards and Niall almost thought of something else to talk about until they got tired enough, but somehow, she thought about it in a bit more depth than appropriate. 

“Hey, Li… “ It was a weird thought that had crossed Niall’s mind, and she almost blushed a bit before she remembered that this was just Liam after all, that they talked about anything at all and they were sharing a sleeping bag right now and snuggling to warm each other up, it wouldn’t be a big deal.

“Yeah?” His fingers had somehow started running through her hair, very softly and slowly, almost as if he was doing it without even thinking about.

“Uh… have you ever like… kissed a guy?” It was a stupid question, totally random too, but Niall felt a bit tense for a moment until Liam let out a chuckle, not even stopping to stroke her hair so she quickly managed to relax again, breathing in the familiar smell of his cologne. 

“No, I would have told you if I did.” True, he probably would have, but you never knew, right?

“Okay… me neither.” Obviously, this was a joke, and Niall laughed for a moment before she realized that it actually wasn’t that funny at all and also the worst time ever to yet again think about _that_ after she had had hopes that the camping trip would distract her. “Except the one that was drunk, I mean, but… I don’t remember that anyways.”

“It’s probably better like this… “ Liam’s voice seemed to have changed but it was hard to tell because they were talking so quietly to each other, his lips almost brushing Niall’s forehead because of how close they were and for some reason, the girl suddenly had a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. Oh god no, she couldn’t be a stupid whine baby about this again.

“Yeah… just… I just wonder what it’s like… “ Stupid, this was so stupid and yet Niall couldn’t stop herself, it’s because they were lying there, all cuddled up and stuff, probably not yet tired enough to sleep, and they had had all kinds of deep conversations late at night, so this was definitely not a first.

“Hmmm… it’s nice, if… if it’s someone you like… “ He was talking carefully, as if to not say something wrong, but he couldn’t have really because Niall didn’t really have a way to check whether he was right now, did she? “I don’t know, like… it’s probably better for Harry and Louis ‘cos they’re like… _together_ and they love each other, so I don’t really know what I’m talking about either.”

“Yeah, but… you were with a few girls, right? You did like them somehow, didn’t you?” Well, Liam had never used the word ‘love’, but… Niall had thought that he would have had to at least feel a little bit for someone to do such intimate things with them and they had talked about this a lot of times, but the girl just couldn’t believe that Liam had never been in love before, or even had a crush, that couldn’t be true, could it?

“I guess… but not in that way, I suppose… “ He shrugged, Niall felt it because of how close they were, only slightly confused by this, but then again on the other hand… it was none of her business, was it? Liam was her best friend but that didn’t mean she could keep digging deeper into this when he so obviously didn’t have much to say about it. 

“Okay… I was just… I don’t know, was just wondering is all. It must be nice though… to have what Harry and Louis have, you know… “ Very nice indeed, who got that lucky, honestly? “Or just know what…. what a real kiss feels like. I mean… doesn’t even have to be someone I’m in love with, I just… just kinda wanna try it… not that I’m desperate, I just… I was just thinking, sorry… “ 

There was silence after this and Niall thought she had gone too far, feeling her cheeks heat up because of how stupid she felt now that she had kept rambling on, yet again whining about the fact that she had no love life, as if Liam hadn’t been trying his very hardest to help her and distract her and here she was throwing it all away, just because she couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut. Not like Liam could have helped her with that now, could he? 

Or maybe he did.

Just when Niall had been about to change the topic, maybe apologize again for saying such weird things, Liam’s hand having cramped up in her hair, the boy suddenly spoke up again after taking a quick breath, as if he had needed time to think about what he was about to say and once it was out, Niall had a pretty good idea why. “I… I could kiss you, uh… show you, I mean… if you want.”

 _Oh_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;) 
> 
> thank you all so much for reading and commenting! please do let me know if youre enjoying the story i always love talking to you guys! <3
> 
> (also if youre wondering why Liam offered to kiss her and think its kinda not something he would do, wait until the next chapter cos itll be from his POV in the beginning and im hoping itll be clear then!)


	5. Chapter 5

“I…. what?”

Liam could feel his own heart bumping so fast and loud that he could barely even make sense of what Niall’s reaction had been to him blurting out the _dumbest_ thing in the whole entire world. What had he been thinking?! Offering to bloody _kiss_ her? Niall, out of all people, the girl he was in love with and currently squeezed together with in a very small sleeping bag in the middle of the night in a pretty dark forest and… holy shit, Liam was going insane, he had managed almost all his life to keep it together and not offer things like that and exactly _tonight_ he had to mess it up?!

“Li?” Niall’s voice kinda sounded weird, shocked, but not grossed out or anything, which would probably follow soon though, after she had let it sink in because Jesus Christ... why would she wanna kiss _Liam_? Her best friend? Who she thought had platonic feelings for her?!

“I… sorry, I… I was just, uh… like… because you said you… wanted to try it and like… I mean… “ And because she had said she didn’t even have to be in love with that person and Liam had almost panicked right then and there, already seeing his life flash before his eyes as he had imagined Niall kissing just _anyone_ , the first fucking guy she met just because she wanted to see what it’s like and god… he knew he couldn’t always protect her, but he sure as hell couldn’t let her get hurt, could he? He knew he shouldn’t have offered this in a billion years, but… if she wanted to have a kiss, a proper one, shouldn’t it be with someone who at least loved her? Even if she didn’t know about it, if she didn’t return the feelings? She deserved someone really trying his best and… and Liam certainly would have. Not that that meant it was a good idea but… 

“Would you… would you actually do that?” The girl almost sounded curious now and Liam was just really glad that at least she couldn’t see his face, only hear his stuttering which hopefully wouldn’t give him away like… he really had to talk himself out of this before it got awkward. 

“Uh… if you… if you wanted me to, I… “ Liam was so nervous he almost felt like puking, the fact that Niall was so close to him wasn’t helping very much either, her warm body pressing into his, her hair tickling his skin, her smell surrounding him and it felt like heaven but yet it was hell. She would obviously not agree, would she? At least she wasn’t yelling at him just yet. “But, I… I shouldn’t have asked, sorry, I wasn’t thinking and I don’t want it to be weird, like… I just-“

“No, wait, I… it’s not weird, I mean… “ _Oh god_ … “You’re my best friend, I… if there’s anyone I trust then it’s you and… it wouldn’t be gross, right? Like… I know you and... and I know you’d only do what I want as well and… “

“Niall, I… “ This was crazy, holy shit, Liam almost couldn’t breathe anymore now, his hand cramped up in the girl hair, a voice in his screaming to immediately get up and go outside in order to cool down or something but there was also a part in him that almost got him excited, it was so, so dumb to hope for her to agree, but… if this was all Liam would ever be able to get, why would he say no to getting to kiss her? Something he’s always wanted to do? And apparently she wanted it as well and it was about 100 times better than her kissing some random dude who’d only do it half arsed, whereas Liam would try his very best and… yeah, he would of course only do whatever Niall wanted him to do. “I don’t know if… I wasn’t really thinking and… but… if you _really_ wanted to know what it’s like, then… “

It was Liam’s fault, his very own fault for talking like this, almost as if he was encouraging it and maybe he was, even if he knew he shouldn’t have, that it’d hurt once it was over, that it could possibly make things weird between them, but having Niall so close, being _seconds_ from possibly getting to kiss her simply turned Liam’s brain into fucking mush. Who would have been able to resist, honestly, if Niall herself wanted it, why would Liam say no to that? “If you… if you really don’t mind, I mean, it’s me and… maybe you think it’s gross or-“

“Niall, it’s definitely not gross, I just… I mean, it’s like when you… practice kissing with your friends when you’re a kid, right?” None of them had ever done that and Liam wanted to smack himself for bringing up that example, quickly continuing to change the topic, hating himself more with each word. “I just don’t want it to be weird afterwards or so… “

“No, it wouldn’t be, I mean, it’s just us, right? Just you and me and… it’s just… for demonstration purposes? So I don’t look like a fool if I ever do get to kiss someone else?” No idea how she could let out a laugh now, warm breath hitting Liam’s face, and the boy felt himself tensing up again at the thought of Niall kissing somebody who wasn’t him, somebody who didn’t know her that well, who would maybe hurt her, or do something she didn’t like and she wouldn’t stop him because she’d think it’s how it’s supposed to be. Wasn’t it Liam’s duty somehow, to show her, if he wanted to protect her? At least that’s what he told himself.

“Yeah, of course, I just… I just wanna help, I really don’t mind.” An understatement, but Liam already felt himself coming short of breath, the anticipation killing him even while knowing that he would definitely not get just one second of sleep after this but… fuck it, he loved Niall, he’d never ever get the chance to kiss her again and he didn’t want some asshole to be her first proper kiss. 

“Okay… how… how do we do this?” Niall sounded kinda nervous now, Liam could tell also because they were so close and her breath was coming a bit uneven, which at least meant that she was probably not paying that much attention to what Liam was doing.

“Just… just tell me if I do something you don’t like, okay? Or… push me away or something, but let me know, yeah? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable… ” No idea how Liam even managed to speak right now, he felt like he was gonna die of a heart attack any second, he had been dreaming of this moment for fucking years and of course this wasn’t how he had envisioned it but… it was the closest it was ever gonna get. 

“Okay… “ Was all the girl said, quietly, taking a rather deep breath then and they fell in silence for a moment, Niall somehow managing to move even closer though and Liam was really trying his very hardest to keep it together, not just smash their lips together because he was craving it so badly right now. He was doing it for Niall, not for himself.

“Alright…?” Just to check once more because Liam really didn’t want her to feel like she had to say yes or anything, he wanted her to want it. 

“Yeah… go on.“ Didn’t sound too convincing, but she was also almost only whispering and Liam took a slightly shaky breath, fingers still in the girl’s hair, cupping the back of her head now and had they not been so freaking close, Liam would have had trouble to even find her lips in complete darkness. At least they weren’t gonna be cold anymore tonight, right?

Obviously, Liam didn’t just go for it, he wanted to savor the moment a bit, trying to actually believe that this was happening, also wanted to give Niall time to pull out in case she changed her mind, but she was just lying there on her side just like Liam, waiting for him to do something and it did put a lot of pressure on the boy, also because he really wanted to make it good and well… even if it was dumb, there was some hope growing inside of him that he made sure to quickly kill again though, knowing that it was pointless. She had said it, this was for demonstration purposes only. 

When Liam did finally make a move and started to lean in, keeping his eyes closed when he felt their noses brush, he thought he honestly had to die, heart hammering in his chest as he felt Niall’s breath against his skin, her lips almost brushing his and she didn’t pull back but also didn’t lean in, hand having curled into the front of his hoodie, as if she needed to hold onto something, just waiting for Liam to close the tiny gap between them.

And then he did. 

It wasn’t eager or desperate, though Liam quite felt like it, but he was keeping it down, tried not to freak out internally as he felt Niall’s lips pressing against his, a lot softer and warmer than he had ever imagined, not really kissing him back just yet but it was alright, Liam knew she had never done this before, could feel her breathing in, the hand in his hoodie tightening even though he wasn’t even doing much at all. And yet it felt so good that Liam thought he had to die right then and there.

Kissing Niall was so much better than kissing any other girl Liam had ever met, his skin felt as if it was on fire in the most pleasurable way and there were tingles in his stomach, the same he always got whenever he was close to Niall. Only now, they seemed to be about ten times stronger than usually, making him want to pull her even closer, kiss her deeper and harder, feel her everything at once. But he didn’t.

Though Liam’s mind was completely blown and he knew the second that their lips had met that he wouldn’t ever be able to simply forget about this again and crave more, he also knew that he had to be as gentle as possible, not hold her too tightly, not do anything unexpected that might have scared her or made her feel uncomfortable. This was so bloody amazing to Liam and though he knew Niall didn’t return his feelings, he was still trying to make it feel the same for her. 

At first, Liam just kept his lips against Niall’s, applying a bit of pressure as he kissed her, trying his hardest to not only think about how freaking amazing this felt but instead stay aware of what the girl was doing, whether she pulled away or turned her head or something. But Niall didn’t, it was obvious that she was nervous, that she didn’t know what to do, lips moving a bit clumsily and it would have made Liam laugh in the fondest way possible had he not been scared of the moment he’d have to pull away and never get to taste her lips again. 

Opening his mouth just a little, Liam felt Niall tensing up for a moment before she relaxed once more, and he suddenly felt a bit braver as he let his hand move from her hair to cup her cheek without even thinking about it, thumb brushing over the skin as he let his tongue move across her bottom lip, gently and slowly, not wanting to startle her. 

Niall did get the hint, though Liam was actually certain he could feel her heartbeat going even faster than his and though he felt bad for her somehow because he had given her no constructions whatsoever. She relaxed her jaw, just a bit, parting her lips underneath the soft strokes of Liam’s tongue and the boy couldn’t actually believe it when she let go of his clothes and instead put her shaking hand over his, as if she wanted Liam’s to be there cupping her cheek, as if she liked it.

Well aware that maybe he was moving too fast, Liam tried to slow down, make his intentions clear and let Niall decide whether she wanted to keep going, but all she ever did was trying to copy his movements so the boy felt like it was alright to deepen the kiss, as gently as somehow possible. Nudging Niall’s lips a bit further apart, Liam hesitantly licked into her mouth, just to wait for her reaction and he felt the girl flinch a bit when their tongues met in her mouth but there was no indication at all that she wanted to stop, so…. 

If any possible, deepening the kiss was even more amazing, even if Niall wasn’t doing much at first and just let Liam have the complete control and upper hand, which meant she trusted him and didn’t hate the kiss _that_ much and really, that was enough for Liam to feel as if he had just won the lottery or something. The fact that he got to kiss her like this, taste her, hold her, that they were being so intimate and completely wrapped up in each other was something he had long given up on hoping for, and yeah, it was only this once but… it was better than never. 

After a while, Niall seemed to relax into it, kissing Liam back, though very tentatively and shyly, moving her tongue with his, both their breathing getting heavy by now as they kept snogging, maybe slightly more heated than Liam had planned on, but he was still being soft, and gentle, because this was Niall and this was the best kiss he had ever and probably would ever get so he’d have to drag it out for as long as possible. It was the first kiss that Liam had genuinely wanted, where he didn’t do it because he and some girl were horny, this was without any further intentions, it was just this and yet it was unbelievably mind-blowing, to finally be kissing the girl he had thought about while kissing all the others. 

At some point, they did run out of air and Liam was forced to pull away, just barely though, keeping his eyes closed as he still felt his nose brushing Niall’s, her mouth almost still touching his as they breathed heavily against one another, the boy’s lips feeling wet and swollen, somehow turning into a smile all by themselves even though Niall couldn’t even see. Holy shit, that had had to be the best fucking moment of Liam’s life. 

Wanting to kiss her again once he had caught some air, Liam forced himself not to, forced himself to stay just like this, with his hand still pressed up against Niall’s cheeks, even after hers had dropped, loosely holding onto his wrist now as they tried to get their breathing back to normal, none of them speaking for a minute or two. Hopefully Niall didn’t regret it, Liam already felt the euphoria draining out of his body the more time passed, still tasting the girl in his mouth and yet knowing that he would probably never get to experience this again.

“Was I… was I bad?” Niall finally asked, whispering, her lips brushing Liam’s while she did, sending some more tingles down the boy’s spine as he hurried to reply because the girl had sounded somewhat worried. How could she think she had been bad?

“No… not at all… “ There was more Liam could have said, but he bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t tell her about how it had been the best kiss in his life, how he would practice some more with her if she wanted to because it would have been very wrong. This was all he got, there was no need to be greedy. “Did you… like it?”

“Yeah…. Did you?” The girl had only hesitated slightly, as if she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to say that but Liam felt himself smiling dumbly nevertheless, rubbing his thumb over her cheek once more before slowly letting his hand sink, knowing that it would have maybe gotten weird after a while.

“Yeah… it was good… “ More than that, but that was all Niall needed to know. “You… you don’t regret it, do you? I mean… “

“No… I really wanted to… know what it’s like and now I do and… it was much better than I thought, you know… “ Alright, it was wrong to get excited over this and feel proud and yet Liam did, wanting to pull Niall even closer though that seemed hardly possible as he could still feel her talking and breathing against his skin. She had enjoyed it, that was all that mattered. “Thank you, bean… “

“You’re welcome, Nialler… “ Liam almost added that they could do it again if she ever felt like it but luckily didn’t, instead trying to think of something positive to say, something Niall would like to hear since she was probably thinking that the kiss was somewhere in Liam’s last five or something. He really wished he could have told her that no matter what happened, that kiss would never ever be leaving the number one spot again. “You know… you don’t have to be worried, about doing anything wrong, just do what feels natural like you did just now and it’ll be fine, yeah? It was good and… you really don’t have a reason to worry, yeah? You didn’t do anything wrong at all.”

“Okay, thank you, Li… I’m really glad though that I got some practice, you know, just so I won’t be… overwhelmed or something.” There was a quiet chuckle and Liam felt himself relax, somehow feeling sad but also happy that Niall’s mood was still good, that it didn’t seem like any of this would stand between them. They were just friends who had shared a snog after all, nothing unusual at all, and if it had helped Niall to feel better, feel less inexperienced and maybe as if she was missing out, then Liam would gladly take all that pain following afterwards. “’m so glad I got you… you always do everything for me, even weird shit like this and… I really wouldn’t know what to do without you, Liam, you’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for and… you’re the most important person to me in the entire world and I really love you a lot, like… sometimes I don’t even feel like I deserve you… “

“You do… you do deserve me, Nialler, and you deserve so much better too and I’m glad if I can help you with whatever you need, because I… I really love you too and you’re the most important thing to me as well and… you can always ask me for anything, okay? Whatever it is, if I can help you then I will.” God, this was getting so emotional that Liam almost felt himself tear up, not even knowing anymore whether to be sad or happy, but as he hugged Niall a bit tighter and the girl almost melted against his body and buried her face against his neck, Liam was pretty sure it couldn’t actually get better than this. “Let’s… let’s try and get some sleep, yeah?”

“Okay… goodnight, bean… “ Her voice was numbed by Liam’s skin and the breath hitting it caused the butterflies in his tummy to wake up again, tightening his arm around the girl as he pressed his eyes closed, trying to hold onto that moment for as long as possible, that memory of the kiss, the way Niall tasted and how soft her lips were.  
“Sleep tight, babe… “

 

\------------

 

The next morning, Niall felt herself being unpleasantly shaken out of sleep by a rather loud voice from outside and the whole tent seemingly shaking a little bit. God damn it, couldn’t Louis let them be just for once?

“Guys, did you _honestly_ put a lock on your tent? You don’t have to hide the fact that you’re in there cuddling, we all know.” Louis sounded slightly pissed off though, that he couldn’t get inside and play whatever stupid prank he had planned on them and somehow Niall felt slightly caught because her and Liam were indeed cuddling. 

It was still very warm in Liam’s sleeping bag and for a moment, all Niall did was keep her eyes closed, listen to the boy’s steady breathing as they simply kept on lying there, his arm still wrapped around her and the girl wasn’t even sure whether her best friend was awake or not and once Louis finally stopped being asshole, Niall pressed closer into Liam, thinking that maybe she could fall back asleep for a little bit longer.

Suddenly though, while lying there in almost silence, the memories of last night came back creeping into Niall’s mind, causing her to tense up just slightly as she felt her face getting a bit hotter. Oh god, she had actually kissed Liam, hadn’t she? Or more like, asked him to kiss _her_ , because Niall hadn’t really done much at all in fear of doing something wrong and making it gross for Liam or something like… he had already agreed to kiss her just to show her, there had been no need for Niall to make this bad for him.

As embarrassing as it was, Niall somehow couldn’t stop thinking that it had felt really nice, and Liam had been so gentle and soft, just like he always was, and he had told Niall that it had been good for him as well, but… he obviously wouldn’t have told her had it been awful. Then again, Niall’s much bigger problem was the fact that now that she remembered, she somehow couldn’t get it out of her head anymore.

Of course Niall had often imagined what it’d feel like to kiss somebody, but she had been so positively surprised yesterday that she almost felt guilty for it because it hadn’t actually been about that right, it had only been for… demonstration purposes. And yet here Niall was thinking about how Liam’s lips had felt against her, how his stubble had felt rubbing across her skin and his tongue in her mouth, the way he had tasted, all while being so sweet and careful, as if he was afraid of breaking her or making her feel uncomfortable. It had been quite the opposite though. 

The girl was slightly worried that maybe things would be weird now, but then again, why would they? They hadn’t been weird last night either, they had simply gone to sleep and she didn’t exactly plan on bringing it up again now and just silently be grateful that she had the best friend in the whole entire world who would do anything for her without even thinking twice. Honestly though, how cute was Liam to having offered that, because he knew how much it got to Niall that she was so inexperienced and despite her slight pinches of guilt, the girl didn’t regret it in any way. 

“…Hmmm, you awake?” Liam’s morning voice was deep and raspy, moving a bit against the girl and Niall quickly tried to think about something that didn’t have anything to do with Liam’s lips. 

“Yeah… Louis woke me, that arse… why’s he even already awake?” Maybe they would just never talk about it again, forget that it had happened, that’d probably be the best solution, right? Or they could just act like adults about it, like… a lot of best friends kissed, there was nothing weird about it at all, was there?

“I have no idea… how late ‘s it anyways?” He didn’t make any attempts to move and neither did the girl, fearing that she would freeze to death the second she did as much as move her finger out of that sleeping bag and away from the comfortable cocoon of warmth they had created, away from Liam’s heated body. 

“I don’t know… I don’t really wanna get up right now, ‘m really tired…” Which was very true, even though it was probably not that early anymore, Niall honestly didn’t care, they were on break anyways and there were only so many things you could do on a camping trip. Plus, she kinda really felt like just lying there for a bit longer, not even necessarily sleeping. 

“Me too… I guess they’ll wake us again if it’s urgent, right? Or if they get hungry, most of the food’s in here.” Right, maybe that had been why Louis had wanted to get in so badly but Niall honestly didn’t care right now, her eyes were already closed again, feeling more than lucky that Liam seemed to really be enjoying this as well. Or maybe he just didn’t want to freeze to death. 

“Yeah… “ Niall mumbled somewhere into Liam’s shirt, tiredness washing over her and yet she had a feeling she wouldn’t really find a very deep sleep anymore now that she had such clear memories of last night filling her brain. Wasn’t her fault though, was it, that had been her first real kiss and at least it had been with someone who she knew genuinely cared about her and loved her so she definitely wouldn’t think back in a few years wishing it would have been somebody else. Who really got their big love to be their first kiss anyways? No one. 

They lied in silence for a while, Liam’s fingers seemingly automatically carding through Niall’s hair, playfully pulling on her ponytail until the girl laughed a bit, trying to swat his hand away softly but quickly giving up on it because she really liked him playing with her hair, making her even sleepier than she had already been to begin with. 

“Hey, Ni… “ Liam suddenly started after they had silently been listening to the others faint voices coming from outside, kinda waking Niall up from the light slumber she had fallen into, not thinking about much at all though as she hummed a bit. “You know… because of last night and stuff… It’s not weird or anything, right? Between us, I mean, like…. you don’t… don’t regret it or something? Because I really didn’t mind and… just wanna make sure… “

“Um… n-no… I don’t regret it at all, I… I liked it and… I’m really glad you showed me, so… thank you again, bean… “ Though it had come a bit out of nowhere, Niall felt herself relax a bit, since Liam didn’t seem as if he would treat her any differently now and that’s really all she could have asked for right? Besides… she had actually enjoyed it a bit more than simply liking it to be honest, but there was no need to tell her best friend that. 

“It’s okay, babe, no need to thank me, yeah? ‘m just glad I could help and… just don’t want it to stand between us or something.” He sounded genuine, also slightly worried, as if he was afraid Niall had found the kiss bad or so, as if she was the one who had done him a favor and not the other way around. 

“It won’t… “ Moving around a bit, Niall wasn’t quite sure whether it was appropriate or not, but she really was just relieved that they were on the same page, really just wanted everything to be like it usually was, so without really thinking about, the girl lifted her head just lightly, until she could briefly kiss the boy’s jaw. “So… are we gonna go swim in the lake today?”

“Swim in the lake?! We almost froze to death last night, Nialler.” Almost immediately, the mood had changed drastically and Liam laughed, his body shaking against Niall’s, making her smile even though she had actually meant it. “Think we’re actually gonna continue to almost die as soon as we get out of that sleeping bag.” 

“But maybe it’s actually really warm outside.” Not very realistic, it wasn’t also the right time of the year, but probably still better than that time when they had been here during summer and had almost died in their tents, like, if it was cold, at least they had each other to snuggle up to. 

“You can go check if you want, I think I’m gonna wait here for a little bit longer.” Another chuckle that quickly had Niall deciding that there was no way she would get up either, she was still sleepy and she didn’t really care how late it was, there was light shining into the tent from the outside so at least it wasn’t already evening or something, that would have been crazy. Also, usually Niall didn’t get a very good nights of sleep in the tent, however sleeping here like this with Liam had actually made it 10 times better than normally.

Since neither of them really felt like getting up, they both stayed like this, just talking about what they could be doing the next few days, and also once they got back home, stuff like that, but of course, at some point Louis had been bound to come back, probably also because he was hungry and Niall couldn’t actually say that she wasn’t craving food at least a little bit.

“Hey, guys… are you still sleeping? It’s like 10 am and it’s fucking freezing outside and I’d really appreciate if you could grace us with your presence ‘cos we gotta make a fire and we’re really hungry.” This time, Louis sounded less as if he was trying to get onto their nerves, he actually almost sounded as if he was begging a little bit. Seemed like Harry and Louis didn’t sleep so well after all if they woke up this early, because Niall was sure had she not been woken by the oldest boy, she’d still be sleeping soundly. 

“I thought you’re so good at making a fire, Lou, isn’t that what you said last night?” Liam sounded very amused by this, only getting a very quiet huff as a response that made Niall laugh, her mood being ruined a little by the fact though that Louis had mentioned how cold it was. 

“He’s good at making the fire, not at keeping it controlled and I really don’t want to burn the forest down, so… “ Harry threw in, clearly from further away and immediately getting told by Louis to keep quiet, obviously feeling a little hurt in his pride.

“Think we gotta get up, Nialler… “ Liam sighed a bit and Niall felt much the same, the last thing she really wanted was to get up now, and maybe having to get changed in that weather and… the lake had probably not been that good of an idea after all.

They needed a few minutes before Liam decided to be the braver one and sit up, automatically letting cold air into the sleeping bag and causing both of them to shiver quite terribly, although Liam did make it a little better by kissing the girl’s forehead briefly. There weren’t a lot of clothes Niall could have put on, she felt as if though her fingers were about to fall off as she slipped into her shoes, wishing she would have thought about putting on something warmer than just leggings to sleep because it would have surely helped a lot. 

By the time they got out of the tent, Louis and Harry were both kneeling on the ground trying to make a fire and Niall decided not to laugh at them for once because honestly, they all knew she was just as useless as them when it came to practical things. So instead, the girl went to sit on a chair, having taken the blanket with her, just watching as Liam did all the work, at the same time trying not to think about how much she was actually hoping that they could share a sleeping bag again that night and also trying not to get too lost in thoughts as she stared at him biting his lip, and licking it because of how concentrated he was. Well, that was certainly not what Niall had thought she’d be thinking about during their trip.

 

\-------------

 

“Liam, I’m so cold.” Niall had repeated herself about three times already and each time Liam felt a little bit worse for her but already having given her every piece of clothing to put on that he had been able to spare without feeling like he had to die himself. 

“I know… c’mon, we gotta keep walking and it’ll be better.” Probably not, seeing as they had been walking for about 20 minutes already, rather fast as well because Louis and Harry were a few meters behind, just following them since Liam probably knew the way to the lake the best. 

“It’s not getting better though.” The girl pouted a bit, causing Liam to smile briefly as he looked at her, rubbing her back even though he knew it was doing exactly nothing. Deep down he was very pleased by the weather and cold temperatures, which of course he would have never said out loud, but he was pretty damn sure that they’d be sharing his sleeping bag again tonight and though he knew it wouldn’t lead to any more kissing, he didn’t even care for as long as he got to cuddle with Niall basically all night long. 

It was kinda hard for Liam to think about anything else besides the kiss, and not stare at Niall too often, but it had just been so amazing and unbelievable, something he had wished for so many times that it didn’t even seem real to Liam. He was so lucky, that Niall had wanted him to kiss her because Liam surely hadn’t deserved it, like yeah, he was in love with her, but she was obviously not obliged to return his feelings and she probably never would, which was fine though, he had gotten what he had wanted, hadn’t he? And he got to hold her and be close to her, closer than anybody else, so really, what more could Liam have asked for?

“I think my fingers are gonna fall off.” The chances of the temperature to go up weren’t very high, it was already like 1 pm now because they had eaten for what seemed like ages and now even all the walking didn’t seem to be helping. They were going to the lake, but obviously not to jump in, it was just a really nice place, and the sun would be shining there a bit more than between all the tress, so Liam had made sure to suggest it, just because he knew that otherwise they would have just all gotten back into their tents and tried to keep themselves warm. Looking at Niall’s pale face and her bluish lips, maybe that would have been a better idea.

“I told you to put on my gloves… come here.” Stopping promptly, Liam didn’t think before grabbing a hold of Niall’s wrist, not even caring that the other two would probably see what he was doing as he covered both of Niall’s hands with his, her face confused for only a moment before Liam breathed onto them through his mouth to warm them up for her, making her smile. “Better?”

“Yeah, a bit… thank you.” It probably wouldn’t really help for very long even though Liam kept going for a while, up until Harry and Louis had caught up to them, stuck in conversation until they saw them just standing there and Liam trying to get the blood back flowing in Niall’s fingers. 

“What’s going on?” Harry seemed genuinely confused for a moment as he stopped as well, taking in the scene, and Louis just winked at Liam in the least appropriate way ever, which Niall didn’t seem to notice and yet it got the boy’s cheeks to blush just lightly. Well, at least it made him feel warmer. 

“Nothing, I’m just really cold.” Niall explained, obviously not finding this weird at all, she just kept smiling at Liam, thanking him again once the boy slowly dropped her hands and cleared his throat a little bit, trying to act natural about this. 

“Was the cuddling at night not enough for you, Nialler?” Louis teased her, completely ignoring the glare Liam threw at him as they kept on walking, Niall walking so close to him that their arms were brushing, having pulled her sleeves over her hands now to keep herself warm, face going slightly annoyed at the question. 

“That was hours ago, what does that have to do with-“

“So you did actually cuddle? How cute, did you share a sleeping bag?” The thing was, Louis didn’t actually know, he was just assuming things all the time and sadly, both Niall and Liam were more than just bad at keeping their mouths shut. 

“It was bloody freezing, and it still is, so-“

“Oh my god, honestly? How’d you even fit in there together?” Not letting Niall finish once more, the oldest boy didn’t even seem to be too surprised and though Liam felt himself going even hotter, he honestly had no idea why. Louis knew that he was in love with Niall anyways, and he wasn’t actually an asshole who would just go and tell her, so why would Liam be worried?

“I’m assuming the same way we did.” Not that that made it much better, but Liam still threw a thankful look at Harry, sneaking an arm around Niall’s shoulders because she was yet again shivering. 

“Naked?” There was a pretty big smirk on Louis’ face and for just a moment, Liam thought that he could read it in his face, that he _knew_ about the kiss even though that was impossible and god… if he ever found out, Liam would be more than just screwed. How’d he even explain the fact that _he_ had been the one to come up with it? 

“Yeah, of course, Lou, we were butt naked and then we slept with each other like every single night and I’m probably pregnant.” Niall’s sarcasm wasn’t really helping much at all and, as stupid as it was, it did hurt Liam just a little bit, the fact that she was saying it as a joke, the fact that she had kissed him last night and had no problems at all to just forget about it again. That really was a hopeless case, wasn’t it? 

“I knew it.” Though it was a joke, Niall still tried to shove Louis even though the older boy just laughed at her, making it absolutely pointless to keep this conversation up.

And yet they did, for the next 15 minutes.

Deep down, Liam was aware that Louis was trying to help him, maybe not in the best way, but by constantly assuming things about Niall and him, he was kind of always keeping it on the girl’s mind, always forced her to think about what she and Liam were doing, as if he thought that maybe one day she’d wake up and magically decide that everything they had been doing had just been because they were in love with each other. Somehow though, it seemed to have the complete opposite effect. Not that Niall was ever shy to cuddle up to Liam or kiss his cheek or things like that, she had just simply started to make fun of the idea of him and her together and maybe that was even worse than as if she would have just straight out said it. Then again, it wasn’t exactly her fault, she didn’t know about Liam’s feelings after all, did she?

When they finally reached the lake, Niall and Louis had luckily stopped their argument and all of them were feeling so extremely cold that even stepping out into the sunlight didn’t seem to help in any way at all. Pretty sure they were actually going to die here or something, Liam wouldn’t have been surprised if it had started snowing.

“Nialler… two pounds I’ll be quicker down the pier than you.” Their old game, Liam automatically let his arm around Niall drop once he had heard Louis’s words, biting his tongue so he wouldn’t remind them to be careful. 

“As if.” And then they were honestly racing each other like children, screaming things at each other and had it not been so bloody cold, they would have surely ended up in that lake trying to drown each other or something. Hopefully Niall would at least feel warmer after running for a bit.

“They’ve been doing this since the first time we came here and they’ve always been tied.” Just to give Harry some background information as they slowly walked after the other two, who were almost there by now, luckily not having fallen down yet. 

“Louis told me he always won.” Laughing, Harry shook his head a bit and Liam found himself smiling because well, Niall had tried telling him the same. “They’re such children, but at least they’ll be warmer than us.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Liam had been watching the other two very closely, out of worry, and Niall’s screams weren’t exactly quiet once Louis had easily picked her up, probably threatening to throw her in the lake or something. “Guess I’m gonna have to save her.”

“Maybe you’ll get a kiss.” Great, now Harry was starting with this as well. Usually, it would have just made Liam roll his eyes, but because it hit so close to home today, he felt himself tensing up, blood streaming into his cheeks once more after finally having cooled down again. 

“Very funny.” Not wanting to pout, Liam had tried his best to sound normal, as if he didn’t even care, only to be embarrassed even further once Harry clarified what he had actually meant.

“I meant on the cheek… she does kiss you on the cheek, right? Sorry, didn’t mean to… make you feel uncomfortable.” Oh.

“No, I… yeah, she does and… it’s fine, I was just… “ Being a little bit too obvious about the one thing he was desperately trying to keep a secret, so Liam threw a very weird and fake smile at the younger boy, who seemed to simply be confused and maybe a little guilty, before quickening his steps just a little because Louis had still not let Niall go and the girl still hadn’t stopped loudly swearing at him. “Tommo, put her down or I’ll personally throw you in there right afterwards.”

“Only if she admits that I was faster.” Oh god, not that again.

“Never! Let me go, Louis, or I swear I’ll kick you in the balls.” She probably really would, she had done it once, years ago, when Louis had teased her about something he mother had made her wear, and 16-year-old Niall hadn’t taken any shit from anyone. 

“You can’t even reach, and besides, you’re way too weak anyways, it’d be like a blow of air.” He was holding her around the waist, pretty dangerously close to the edge of the pier but Liam didn’t say anything yet once he and Harry had arrived, trying to figure out a way to help Niall that wouldn’t show how seriously he took any of this. 

“You’re just scared ‘cos I can’t actually kick something that isn’t there, right?” Niall let out a laugh, still struggling against Louis’ tight grip though and Liam already had his mouth open, standing only like two meters away from where they were kinda wrestling, now even closer to the edge for some reason. “Let go, Lou, you’re hurting me.”

“No, I’m not, I’m barely even holding you, if you stopped struggling so much then-“

And then suddenly, everything kinda happened way too quickly for anyone to react or say something.

Liam wasn’t entirely sure how it had happened, all he knew was that he was about to step in, about to walk towards them and help Niall, but the girl was fighting Louis still, trying to push him off of her, and somehow, the boy must’ve taken a step back, letting go of Niall unexpectedly and it seemed that that made her loose balance and the next thing they all heard was a giant splash and the girl having disappeared.

“NIALL!” Honestly, Liam thought his heart had stopped as he almost fell over his own feet trying to get to the edge of the pier, not even having time to be mad at Louis or think about how exactly this could have happened because all he could think about for a few terrible seconds was that maybe she had hit her head, maybe she had really hurt herself or passed out and she was gonna drown and-

“SHIT! It’s so cold, ‘m gonna die, it’s so fucking cold!” Almost immediately, Niall had swam back to the surface, spitting out water and breathing heavily, obviously struggling because the weight of her clothes must’ve been tearing her down and Liam was immediately on his knees, seconds from jumping in there himself as he stretched his arm out towards Niall. Shit, how could this have happened?! She was gonna get so bloody sick, Liam already saw his life flashing before his eyes. “I’m gonna _fucking_ kill you, Tommo!”

“Niall, hey, come here, you gotta get out of the water, take my hand.” Liam was gonna deal with Louis later, he didn’t even care what any of the others were doing right now, eyes glued to the girl in the water, her hand cold as ice and shaking when she finally grabbed his, holding onto the edge of the pier with the other.

Normally, Liam would have found it kinda hard to just pull her up, but it must’ve been the adrenaline that made it seem almost too easy before he had a shivering and absolutely drenched Niall standing next to him, her lips blue and water dropping down from everywhere, teeth clattering a bit as she was shaking terribly. Shit, what were they gonna do?! It’d take at least half an hour for them to get back to the tents for god’s sake!

“Take your clothes off, Ni, quick, you need to get out of the wet stuff.” Though Liam was on the edge of freaking out, he knew better than to hug Niall and pull her against his chest like he wanted to, but instead started taking off his own jacket and also hoodie, barely even feeling the coldness as he was standing there in just a long sleeved shirt. “Niall, it’ll be okay, yeah? It’ll be warmer in a second, c’mon, I’ll help you.”

The girl was shaking so terribly that she couldn’t even open up her own jacket, so Liam gently removed her ice cold fingers, doing it himself instead, trying not to freak out and keep it in, because he was clearly the only one who actually knew what to do right now. “’m g-gonna f-fucking s-strangle L-Louis… “

“Nialler, I’m sorry, I really am, I didn’t mean for this to happen, I accidentally let go of you and-“

“J-Just s-shut u-up.” She had a right to be angry with him, because Liam was as well, but right now he was only focused on getting these clothes off of Niall, having no idea what to do about her pants and shoes though, but that wasn’t his biggest problem right now anyways. 

“Ni, can I, um… I think you should, uh, take your shirt off as well.” It was so wet that it had gone kinda transparent anyways and obviously Liam was trying not to stare at her because not only would it have been inappropriate but also, it’s not like he would have even had any time to.

“O-Okay… “ Niall didn’t seem to mind at all, though she did need Liam’s help to take it off before she was just standing there in her bra and the brunette boy felt more than just bad for her, hoping that Louis and Harry at least had the decency to look away for the short time he needed before helping Niall into his own, and dry, jacket and she immediately hugged herself, jumping up and down a bit frantically. “’m… g-gonna d-die… “

“No, shhh, one second.” Only hesitating for a moment, Liam decided that Niall’s health was the most important thing to him before he took off his last layer as well, feeling the cool air now hitting his bare upper body but he barely even cared because he knew very well that skin on skin contact would help Niall best to warm back up and well… didn’t seem like any of the other two were more qualified for this than him.

Before Niall could even ask, Liam had already grabbed her arms gently, so she’d stop hugging herself, before simply slipping his arms underneath her jacket and around her waist, pulling her in close to him, until her cold and bare stomach was touching his and her wet bra and hair were giving him terrible shivers as she immediately pressed closer into him, welcoming the warmth and wrapping her arms around his neck. “F-Fuck… “

“It’ll be okay, babe, it’ll be fine, we’ll go back in a bit and you’ll be warm again, okay? I promise we’ll go fast and I’ll even carry you if you want.” That’d only slow them down, but everyone knew Liam would have done anything for this girl, hugging her even tighter now as she was almost melting into his body, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

“O-Okay… thank y-you, bean… “ She could barely even bring out the words, cheek now resting on Liam’s shoulder, getting him all wet there was well but frankly, he didn’t care one single bit.

“Li, uh… do you need us to do anything?” It was Harry who asked, and looking over to them, it wasn’t hard to guess that they both felt terribly useless and Louis seemed to feel pretty damn guilty as well, just standing there and watching them, at least for once not making any stupid comments. Well, he better not even try because Liam was up and ready to wrestle him to the ground had he not been focused on holding Niall as tightly as possible even though he was fucking freezing as well, his back completely exposed to the cool air. 

“No, I… well, maybe one of you could give Niall something more to put on in a bit.” She could need everything she could get really, and judging by how quickly Louis reacted, taking off his jacket, Liam was pretty sure that at least now they’d be having a peaceful rest of the trip. Provided Niall didn’t die of hypothermia because she was almost strangling Liam with how tightly she was holding on, body shaking terribly against Liam’s as she clung to him.

One thing was for sure, he was definitely not going to let go of her again for the next few days.

 

\--------------

 

Niall genuinely thought she had to die. She was so mad at Louis and yet she couldn’t even tell him, couldn’t even say no when he gave her his hoodie to put on as well even though Liam put her in what seemed to be fifty layers of clothing anyways, ignoring her slight protests about how he was going to get sick walking back with only a long sleeved and rather thin shirt, but as usual, her best friend only ever tried doing what was best for her and not for him.

Deep down, Niall knew that Louis wasn’t actually at fault, that he had never planned on actually throwing her in the water, but it had still happened and since the way seemed to take 10 times as long as before, Niall’s anger with her friend kinda grew for a bit until suddenly, she started to feel so bloody cold that she could barely even feel her legs anymore and simply forgot about cursing her friend in her mind.

Obviously, she had had to keep on her wet shoes and pants while walking, and though Liam had been hugging her for so long and tried to warm her up, ten minutes later Niall felt even worse than she had in the water, trying to hold back though, so Liam wouldn’t worry too much about her. The boy was keeping his arm around Niall at all times, asking her every five seconds how she was feeling and spending the time in between to tell Louis to shut up whenever he tried to yet again apologize to her. Surely, they had never had such a bloody terrible walk back to their tents.

“Niall, do you want me to make a fire and-“

“N-No… I g-gotta get o-out of these c-clothes… “ Though the shaking had gotten slightly better, Niall almost felt like she could have cried from relief once they were finally back, kinda rudely shutting Harry up as she pulled out of Liam’s arm, trying not to stumble as she half fell into their tent and started ripping her clothes off.

“Ni… you need any help?” Of course Liam had immediately come after her, making sure to zip the tent back up behind them, probably to give her privacy, but Niall could have honestly not cared one single bit whether they had all seen her naked right now or not.

“I… I d-don’t know… “ The jacket and all the hoodies and also shoes and socks were kinda easy, but once Niall was sitting there with just her bra and jeans on, she did have to admit that she felt slightly defeated, her fingers feeling so numb as if they would break off or something. “Maybe… “

“Okay, I’ll help you, yeah? C’mere.” There might have been some flush in Liam’s face, but Niall barely even noticed, she didn’t even think about whether she could have been embarrassed as he helped her pulling off her jeans, hesitating for a second afterwards, probably because he remembered that Niall would have to take her underwear off as well. “Uh… wait, I’ll…. Turn around. Here’s your bag.”

“Thanks, b-bean… “ The girl mumbled, barely even waiting for Liam to look away though because honestly, last night she had been snogging him in here and she was literally about to _die_ so whatever, right?

It seemed to take ages, until Niall had dressed herself in dry and warm clothes again and had covered herself in Liam’s blanket, making sure that her damp hair was touching her as little as possible, not having enough strength though to put it into a pony tail. Damn, was it normal that she was so bloody tired all of a sudden? 

“You done?” Liam only turned around after Niall had brought out some sound only barely coming close to a yes, not even able to really look at her best friend or listen to what the other two were talking about outside the tent, she just really only wanted to sit here and get warmer and maybe take a damn nap because she’d surely wake up feeling a whole lot better. “Hey… you still look really pale, babe, I… you know… it’d help you to warm up more quickly if we… if we do it like before, you know…“

“Huh?” Honestly, Niall’s brain wasn’t very good at processing anything right now, she just blinked at Liam, not even noticing that he seemed to have been nervous about saying any of this, because _god_ she was so cold.

“I just mean that, uh… I’d probably warm you up better than the blanket.” Right… that kinda made sense. 

“Okay… “ Obviously she wasn’t going to say no to that, not making any attempts to move though because it seemed way too stressful, instead just sitting there while Liam seemed to let out a quick breath before pulling off his shirt once more and had Niall not known for a fact that he was right about his body heat being able to warm her the best, she would have maybe found it slightly odd. Also the fact that while watching the boy moving around and over to her, for some reason she didn’t feel all that tired anymore while watching his muscles flex a bit, saw the goosebumps on his smooth skin, his toned upper body and the hair there, going down to his belly before disappearing in his jeans and that was the exact moment were Niall forced herself to stop. At least it had gotten her cheeks a little bit warmer.

“Umm… d’you wanna like… sit on my lap?” Alright, now, this was slightly different than the girl would have thought, but somehow, the idea seemed very appealing to her anyways. 

“Y-Yeah… if that h-helps… “ Maybe not, but once Liam was right there next to her and Niall had trouble not staring at his lips just like she had been doing all morning, she suddenly didn’t know any better place to sit than on Liam’s lap. 

They were struggling just slightly to make it happen, mostly because Liam had to do all the work, pulling Niall into his lap and first of all having to slightly convince her to let go of the blanket so that he could wrap it around himself first of all and then her as well. Though the girl thought she’d have to die as she once again sat there freezing her ass off, she decided it was way worth it once Liam had pulled her into his lap, making sure to cover her whole body with the blanket, also her legs as she pulled them closer to her, half lying sideways in Liam’s lap, before her just held her really tightly underneath the blanket while Niall just rested her head on his bare shoulder, hand resting on his chest because he was so damn warm it was wonderful. 

“Is that better…?” Liam’s voice was a bit unsure, but it was quiet and soft and Niall automatically snuggled deeper into him, trying to get more of that warmth he provided, breathing him in a bit as she let her eyes fall closed. That was more than just better.

“Yeah… thanks, Li… think I c-could actually fall a-asleep like t-this… “ Maybe it was because Niall had fallen into a damn cold lake, but she kinda liked this even more than them cuddling in a sleeping bag, which Liam probably saw a little bit differently because he had to sit there completely shirtless and couldn’t even lean onto anything, but… Niall was too exhausted and desperate to get warm again that she couldn’t really get herself to care right now. 

“Try and stay awake for a little bit longer, okay? And tell me immediately if you start to feel weird, yeah?” Niall felt Liam’s cheek pressing against her head, and still wet hair, suppressing a yawn when the boy started rocking them just a little bit, holding her even tighter than he already had. 

“I won’t pass out, Payno, don’t worry… ‘m good… you’re so warm… “ Sure, Niall was still cold, but having Liam there as her own personal heater, being so gentle and careful like his usual self was helping a whole ton. “If I do sleep in… promise me you’ll kick Louis’ arse?”

“Already on my list, Ni, no worries.” That made the girl smile a bit with closed eyes, pressing her face more tightly into Liam’s shoulder and against throat, feeling a small shiver going through his body as her cold nose touched his skin. 

Niall wasn’t quite sure what exactly happened during the next few hours, spending it falling in and out of sleep, at some point she might have even talked to Liam but she forgot, faintly remembering the warmth spreading in her stomach as he told her he loved her, only to slip into a dream a second later, finally not feeling anymore as if she would end up having frost bites all over her body.

Also, the girl was pretty sure that one of the other two came to check on them at some point, but Niall could only understand about every second word, it sounded like Louis’ voice, something ranging from ‘I’m sorry’ to ‘Harry made food’ to ‘you’re welcome’ and though the last thing made the least sense to Niall, she never even remembered to ask about it, just let out a bit of an unpleasant sound as she tried to press closer into Liam and block Louis’ voice out, feeling his lips placing a kiss on her forehead.

So either this was the worst camping trip they had ever had or one of the best, Niall wasn’t quite sure anymore afterwards, not after that kiss and all that cuddling, yet again realizing just how good it felt to be this close to Liam, having him there taking care of her in every way that he possibly could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some exciting things happening :D lol i really like this chapter cos its so fluffly and im also glad that the story is finally moving on cos i feel like the first 4 chapters were only intro so yay :)
> 
> happy that youre all enjoying the fic and leaving me such nice comments, i really appreciate it, thank you <3


	6. Chapter 6

After Niall had fallen into the lake, the rest of the camping trip seemed to actually go down a lot more peacefully than the girl would have ever thought.

Of course Liam was all over her from there on, making her put on even more clothes even though the following days were a lot warmer and she could have easily survived with just a long sleeved shirt, but because it was Liam and because Niall actually really, really enjoyed having him there to take care of her, she did what he told her anyways, just glad that she hadn’t actually gotten sick or something.

What was surprising though was that Louis wasn’t only nice to her for the rest of that day but rather the whole rest of the camping trip, not once making any stupid jokes but rather leaving Niall more food than any of the others and even fucking suggesting that the girl could drive the car back if she wanted to. So all in all, though Niall had thought she would die after falling into that lake and actually kill Louis for real this time, the outcome of it wasn’t bad at all.

When they got back home though, the girl felt her stomach sinking a bit at the thought of having to sleep in her childhood bed for the rest of their break, without having Liam there to warm her up and cuddle her, without being stuck with him in a sleeping bag, without…. Spending an embarrassingly long time staring at his lips each day and thinking about that kiss they had shared. They hadn’t really talked about it anymore and it was just something that had happened, not impacting them in any way and Niall was sure Liam had long forgotten about it again, but somehow… somehow she couldn’t get it out of her head anymore.

Like… not that she had kissed anyone before Liam, but she was pretty damn sure that her first kiss couldn’t have gone any better and thinking about that one day some girl would get to kiss Liam each and every day and sleep next to him in bed and have him there supporting her through everything, caring about her, almost got Niall slightly jealous. Not that she would have ever not wanted Liam to be happy and get married one day and have a family, it was just… having kissed him had kinda made her think a bit further, she had always known that one day some girl would be more important to him than her and as selfish as it was, it got Niall feeling slightly uneasy for some reason.

“Hey… you gonna stay at my house for a bit?” They were almost there, Harry was driving and Niall and Liam were sitting together in the back, the girl’s head having fallen against the window a while ago already, the sounds the car was making lulling her in and out of sleep. Upon Liam’s half whispered question though and his hand brushing her arm, Niall immediately felt the knot in her chest loosening a bit as she looked over with a smile.

“If you’re not sick of me yet then… sure.” It didn’t seem like it at all, Liam was smiling too, eyes crinkling up a bit as he chuckled and Niall felt warmth spreading in her stomach. The two of them had been so close the last few days that the girl almost felt weird now to not be touching Liam, have her whole body to herself, making her feel cold even though Louis had turned on the heating a while ago already.

“I’d never get sick of you, Nialler.” Somehow, it didn’t even sound like a joke at all, though Liam’s face was still happy and everything, he sounded genuine and the fact that they could be around each other 24/7 without ever having as much as one single argument was something Niall was sure she’d never have with anybody else. Sometimes she felt like they had been made to be best friends, but maybe she was just getting emotional because of those last few days or something. 

Once Harry stopped in front of Liam’s house, Niall actually wasn’t surprised anymore that Louis got out of the car just to apologize once more and hug her, his smirk maybe having gotten a bit cheekier again, but that was fine though, it would have gotten weird had he been this creepily nice forever. “Bye, Ni, make sure you stay warm and-“

“Lou, it’s been days now, I won’t get sick. And if I do, it won’t be your fault.” Rolling her eyes a bit, Niall let her friend ruffle her hair though before he went to hug Liam as well and Niall said goodbye to Harry meanwhile even though they’d probably see each other in less two days. They really were like a small family or something, like, they were all so close it would’ve been ridiculous to think about not seeing each other for more than a week. 

“Hey wait, I’ll carry that.” As soon as Liam and Niall were walking inside and Harry had driven off, the boy of course insisted on taking that bag from Niall, though it were only a few meters and the girl tried to resist for a moment, she easily gave in though as their eyes met, just sighing a bit but because Liam always did things like that, she just let him. If it’d make him happy… “I can’t wait to finally shower, oh god… “

“Me too…. Well, I did at least get something close to a shower.” Laughing a bit because now that it was a few days in the past Niall did actually find it a little bit funny, she pressed the doorbell once they were in front of Liam’s door since the boy didn’t have his hands free. “I don’t think we smell too bad though.”

“Yeah… maybe we just got used to it, ‘cos we’ve been in the same tent for so long.” That was actually pretty gross to think about, Niall pulled a bit of a face while Liam just chuckled, of course looking handsome as ever though. Actually, Liam had always smelled nice during their whole entire trip, and they had both changed their clothes every day as well and it’s not like they had been sweating so… but a shower would still be nice. A warm one, preferably. “I wonder if-“

Before Liam got to finish, one of his sisters had already opened the door, her face more than just happy upon seeing them and not having seen her for so long, Niall did have to admit that she had even missed Liam’s siblings more than her own family. “There you are! Mum was worried sick about you guys!”

“I texted her just ten minutes ago.” Shaking his head a bit, Liam couldn’t really move his arms as his sister hugged him before moving on to Niall, not even asking why she was here as well because the girl had basically been living here for her last few years of high school anyways. “Is there any food? We’re starvin’.”

“Yeah, sure, Ruth and I cooked, but dad’s already eating so you better hurry.” Honestly, Niall was happy about anything really, plus she knew that it would have maybe been rude to just stay at someone’s house and eat there, but… it was Liam’s family after all. “…. But maybe you should shower before that, neither of you smells very good.”

Alright, maybe it was just Niall who thought that Liam somehow managed to magically always smell as if though he had just come out of a bath full of roses.

Again, they got hugged some more by Liam’s other sister, who also told them to go take a shower before Karen ordered them to put all their dirty clothes in the washing machine and before Niall could protest and tell her that she could very well do that at home and didn’t want to be a bother, she already got cut off before even finishing the sentence.

“That’s fine, honey, don’t worry about it. Besides, maybe you should stay with us for the next few days anyways, your whole family is at the hospital since yesterday ever since the baby came.” Wait… _what_?!

Almost immediately, Niall whipped her head around to meet’s Liam’s eyes, the boy seemingly as confused as she felt because… what the hell, no one had even bothered telling her! “Um… the baby came yesterday?”

“Oh… did they not tell you? Well, I’m sure they’re all really busy and excited, don’t worry about it, love, I was planning on visiting in a few hours anyways, I’ll take you with me, yeah?” Liam’s mum did look at Niall as if she was pitying her a bit but the girl tried to just brush it off, pretend like she didn’t even fucking care. Honestly, who had she thought would tell her anyways? The only one who even would have wanted her to come visit was Greg’s girlfriend and after giving birth literally yesterday, Niall couldn’t have expected her to call her up or something. Whatever, at least now Niall had an excuse to stay with Liam. “Go shower and then come downstairs before the food gets cold, okay? I’ll turn on the washing machine meanwhile.”

“Uh, yeah, thanks, mum.” Of course, Liam seemed to be slightly worried about Niall, his hand rubbed up and down the girl’s back for a moment as she thanked his mother as well, a little bit stuck in thoughts as they walked down the hallway to where the bathroom was. “Hey… you okay, babe?”

“Yeah… sure, I mean… it’s not like I care, right? It’s just… some stupid baby and-“

“Your niece.” Liam corrected her carefully and Niall huffed just a little bit, feeling slightly guilty because it wasn’t that nameless baby’s fault after all, but… they’d probably raise her to hate Niall anyways so whatever. “It’s okay to be upset though, Ni, they should have really called you.”

“I’m not surprised that they didn’t … or are you?” That question seemed to really take Liam off guard, clearly hesitating to answer because he was trying to make her feel better and not hurt her feelings even more so Niall just sighed, deciding that there was no use in talking about it anyways. It wasn’t Liam’s fault after all that her family hated her, she didn’t wanna let it out on him. “Whatever, let’s just forget about it and shower… I think I really do stink, actually.”

“You don’t… “ The boy seemed slightly lost in thoughts once they reached the bathroom, handing Niall a clean towel before yet again rubbing her back, stopping mid-step as he had been about to leave the room so she could have some privacy while showering. “I… I’ll come with you, yeah? To the hospital I mean, unless you don’t want me to.”

“Of course I want you to, Li…thank you.” Smiling a bit, Niall didn’t really feel too great right now, but knowing that Liam would be there with her definitely made this shitty situation a ton better. 

“Anytime.” And then, seemingly naturally, he leaned down to briefly kiss her forehead, something he had done many times before but especially during that camping trip, his face brightening up a little bit afterwards. “You know… I think my mum’s right, you should stay here for a few more days, like… I heard it’s gonna get really cold again and… if you need someone to cuddle, you know…“

“Oh god, stop being so cute, Liam.” He genuinely was, his cheeks getting a bit red at that but Niall barely even noticed as she playfully shoved him, laughing because of how relieved she felt all of a sudden. 

“So, is that a yes?” His voice sounded very hopeful and Niall’s heart sped up a bit because of how happy Liam seemed to be about her staying with him, so instead of answering, Niall just briefly kissed his cheek. “Great. I’ll go get you some clothes to change into, okay? Go shower.”

“Okay… thanks, bean.” No doubt, with that dimple and those crinkles by his eyes and his happiness over Niall saying yes to staying here… he _was_ the absolute cutest and Niall hadn’t even been joking before. 

It felt really good to shower and finally feel clean again, changing into the clothes Liam had brought her, even some of her own pants she must have forgotten at his house at some point in the past and surprisingly, they still fit very well. Then again, Niall had stopped growing years ago and somehow she felt like she could have probably still worn the very first bra she had ever gotten as well. Not that she cared so much about that, just… it was a simple fact.

Being with Liam’s family, like eating with them and having normal conversations and stuff, was actually the nicest part of being back home, apart from the camping trip of course. Obviously Niall still didn’t feel too happy about the fact that her family didn’t even care enough to tell her about the fact that she was an aunt since yesterday, but the girl knew how to keep herself distracted while Liam was in the shower after her, helping his mum with the laundry, trying not to be too surprised about the kinda things she asked Niall, in a way her own mother never would have. Like how she liked uni, whether the boys were very messy, if she had enjoyed the camping trip and honestly, it made Niall wish she could have just brought her whole stuff here instead of going back home for just one second during the break. 

Seeing Liam being with his family was kinda nice to just watch as well, Niall had always known that he was very close with all of them, that he missed being at home, but yet at the same time he didn’t only focus on them while they were eating, he brought Niall in as well, let her have the rest of his food, hand occasionally rubbing her back as if he didn’t even notice that he was doing it. He was probably still worried because of that lake thing maybe, and now because of Niall having been kinda upset about her family, that was the only reason for sure and there was no need at all for Niall to feel guilty about the fact that she was enjoying those random touches a lot more than usually somehow.

Of course though, that almost blissful time spent at Liam’s house couldn’t exactly last forever. 

“I don’t even know whether I even wanna see the baby, like… I don’t think babies are that cute anyways. And I don’t like hospitals either.” Honestly, Niall felt her heart beating so fast that she was actually surprised that Liam hadn’t commented on it as they walked down the hospital hallway next to each other, a few steps behind his mother because she didn’t seem to be so sure about where the room was.

“I think babies are cute.” Liam shrugged a bit, smiling when Niall rolled her eyes at him, but he seemed to have still meant it and suddenly the girl had a very weird image of Liam holding a baby in her head that made her feel all sorts of things. Well, she would witness that for real in just a few minutes, maybe that was the reason. 

“Well, at least that baby won’t grow up to hate you, so… “ Not that Niall cared though, right? She didn’t even wanna be home anyways.

“She won’t grow up to hate you either, Nialler, c’mon, it’s just a baby.” For what seemed like the hundredth time today, Liam wrapped his arm around the girl’s shoulders, keeping her so close for a moment that she almost fell over her own feet, not complaining of course though because she knew her best friend would have never let her fall down anyways.

“And my whole family that doesn’t wanna see me.” Niall added, almost feeling stupid that she was honestly nervous about having to walk into a room with her whole family present, it’s just… they hadn’t called her, so obviously they didn’t want her there, right?

“And me and I do wanna see you and I also wanna see that baby and I know you do too so we’re just gonna go in there and pretend like nothing’s wrong and then in half an hour or so I’ll tell my mum we’ve got something to do and we’ll take the bus home, does that sound okay?” It was hard, worrying when Liam was there and doing his very best to help out, but though that did sound very much okay, Niall didn’t really manage more than just a nod because Karen seemed to have just found the right door. “C’mon, Ni, I’m here, it’ll be fine.”

“Yeah… okay… “ Not very convinced, Niall swallowed hard as she pressed closer into Liam’s side as they approached the door as well, Liam’s mum waiting until they were next to her before she knocked and Niall almost had to hold her breath. Who could have blamed her though, the last time she had talked to any of her family had been days ago to her dad right before walking out of the house and ignoring his up building anger about their camping trip.

Upon walking in, Niall almost felt like she died a little bit internally when all eyes were on her for the split of a second, quickly lowering her head a bit, Liam’s body right next to hers, being the only thing that kept her from turning around and walking straight outside again. Okay, she got this, it was just her family, nothing else. 

“Oh, Karen, I’m so glad you made it!” Niall’s mum always got this fake nice and happy around everyone outside the family, the girl made sure not to meet anyone’s eyes though, being pretty good at it by now, instead only exchanging a small smile with Greg’s girlfriend, who was sitting up on the bed, in her arms the tiniest baby Niall had ever seen. Okay, maybe she did think it was a little bit cute. 

“How was the uh… camping trip?” Greg randomly asked into the room, while Karen and Maura were buy talking to each other and Niall’s dad was just sitting in a chair, very obviously staring at Niall as if she had suddenly grown a second head or something. 

“It was good, umm…. why didn’t you guys, uh, call me?” Though Niall felt weird and uncomfortable, she did feel ten times more confident with Liam’s palm pressing against the small of her back, her hands still getting a bit sweaty though as she had asked, again meeting Greg’s girlfriend’s eyes, seeing the apologetic look on her face. How did she even fucking stand to be around these people all the time?

“We didn’t know you took your phone, I mean, it’s quite easy to lose your stuff in a forest, isn’t it?” Niall’s mother threw in before any of the others had been able to answer and the blonde girl almost felt like she would snap any second. Why did she have to make up lies? Why couldn’t she just admit that she had simply forgotten about Niall? Right, because it would have made her look bad in front of Liam’s mother. 

“Well, yeah.” Trying not to roll her eyes, Niall shifted the weight on her legs a bit, wanting to lean more into Liam but at the same time not wanting to be obvious about it. 

“Besides, I had no idea when you were coming back, you didn’t even tell me you were going to begin with.” Oh god, why did she have to start that _again_? “So what kinda shirt are you wearing anyways? It’s kinda big on you.”

“Uh, it’s…. it’s Liam’s.” Though this was stupid, Niall felt her cheeks getting bright hot and red, hating the fact that no one else was really talking, feeling Liam’s thumb pressing into her skin over the shirt, not really helping all that much though. Amazing, this was going even worse than the girl had feared.

“Oh, well, I thought it looked a bit boyish.” Her look was judgmental, Niall didn’t need to really look at her to know that because it was a common phrase of hers anyways. Amazing, when were those thirty minutes Liam had been talking about over?

For a second or two, no one really said anything at all, and it was Greg’s girlfriend then who broke the silence, probably feeling really fucking awkward as well since they were all her because of her and the baby anyways. “Hey, um, Niall, do you wanna hold her?”

“Sure… “ Movements not working so smoothly, Niall tried to walk over to the bed in the most normal way possible, forcing herself to smile and her hands to stop shaking because she wouldn’t wanna drop her niece or something, slowly sitting on the edge of the bed, already missing Liam’s touch even though he kinda walked with her anyways. “How… how did it go?”

“Oh, it all went really smoothly, don’t worry, wait… here, she’s half asleep anyways, she won’t move a lot.” Niall had never held a baby before, so of course she was worried when she was handed one, all wrapped up in a blanket and indeed barely moving, as if it was asleep, feeling a whole ton lighter in Niall’s arms than she would have imagined. Looking down at her, the girl almost forgot about what her mother had just said, her smile not feeling forced for a moment.

“She’s really beautiful… “ One thing was for sure, that baby did not look like anyone in Niall’s family, especially not like her brother, so that was good. 

“Yeah, doesn’t look like any of us, does she?” Greg’s girlfriend laughed and Niall decided not to answer, simply because it was very true, but that was a very cute baby, no one could have denied that. 

For a while, Niall was actually really happy to just be holding her niece, relieved when the others started talking to each other once more, taking some of the attention off of her, enough so that she felt brave enough to lean down a bit and kiss the baby’s head, getting her to move just a little bit. Okay, maybe Niall was glad that she had come, her and her mother would have had an argument anyways, it didn’t even matter whether it would have only been once they were home. 

Niall had almost forgotten that Liam was still there as well until he started having some conversation with Greg and then his girlfriend and even though Niall kinda didn’t want to ever put that baby out of her arms again, she did hand her over to Liam at one point, very carefully, as she had felt him staring at her, sitting in a chair in front of where Niall was still on the edge of the bed. 

“Hey there, little one… “ His voice had immediately gone softer, even more so than whenever he was trying to calm down Niall and the girl couldn’t stop staring at Liam while he was holding the baby, somehow automatically holding her in the exact right way, making her look even tinier in his arms, the expression on his face so loving that Niall felt her stomach twisting into knots for some reason. If any possible, having Liam hold that baby made her a hundred times cuter than she had already been. And him as well. 

Liam was being so gentle and soft, finger brushing the baby’s cheek, rocking her a bit, that Niall couldn’t seem to look away. She had seen Liam with children of course, knew that he was really good with them, but this was somehow a whole lot different, it was her own niece, and also, she had been having these thoughts about him, like… what if Liam had his own kids one day, and then he’d be even cuter with them? But then also… he’d be having them with some other girl and yet again, the thought was slightly bothering Niall. 

They did stay longer than they had planned in the end, and of course there were more comments from Niall’s family that she could have gladly survived without ever hearing, but it was fine in the end because Liam was there with her after all and Niall knew that he was always on her side, that he would have defended her had it not been inappropriate as hell. Plus, the fact that Liam was probably holding the baby for the longest time out of anyone was quite the distraction for the girl as well, feeling rather calm as she made sure to remind herself that she’d get to stay with her best friend for most of the break anyways, knowing that she’d be alright for as long as she just got to be with him. 

 

\--------------

 

“’m so tired from that train ride… took like… 6 weeks or somethin’.” Almost as soon as they had walked through the front door, Liam was hit by the familiar smell they had at their flat, having felt slightly emotional about going back home and leaving his family, but now that they were back after about two weeks, the boy quickly decided that maybe he was kinda glad as well.

“You slept on Liam’s lap for 2 solid hours, Nialler.” Louis threw in as he half pushed past them into the flat, of course leaving his shoes lying around as usual, having stopped being this extremely nice to the girl about two days after their camping trip. 

“I wasn’t on his lap.” The girl immediately complained and Liam just decided not to listen, because well, Niall had had her head in his lap after all, and she had been sleeping, using his jacket as a blanket and it’d be a lie to say that he hadn’t enjoyed the hell out of it, even if it had kept him from going to sleep himself. 

Niall had stayed with Liam every single night except for one or two during the break, they had basically seen each other 24/7 and yet they hadn’t grown bored or tired of each other, had spent the days watching movies and playing video games and simply talking about anything at all and Liam almost felt guilty that he would miss all the free time they had had to spend with each other more than being with his family. But he was a grown up after all, right? And they did spend tons of time with Liam’s family as well, none of them ever wondering why Niall never seemed to go home because it had always been like this anyways and Liam’s mum had seen what had happened when they had been at the hospital to see the baby, so… 

The baby was really fucking cute though, they went to see it a few more times, but obviously, Greg’s girlfriend was allowed to go back home and then after that Niall refused to go to her brother’s house, so Liam would probably have to live with the fact that he’d never get to see his best friend holding a baby ever again. She had been handling it so well though, considering how nervous she had been and despite the things her mother had said to her, and having seen her face brightening up so naturally while cradling her niece in her arms had really done things to Liam he would have rather not had names for.

Was it possible that after that kiss he had managed to fall even deeper in love with the one girl that was already the love of his life anyways? Because it quite seemed like it to be honest.

“What’re we gonna eat?” Apparently, Niall and Louis had already ended their small argument, Liam hadn’t really been paying attention while taking off his shoes and making sure to lock the door, trying not to trip over one of their bags because of course everyone had just let them lie around by the front door. 

“I’ll eat at Harry’s.” Was all Louis threw in, having dropped on the couch with his phone in his hands, undoubtedly texting his boyfriend even though they had said goodbye to each other literally 20 minutes ago.

“I wasn’t talking to you anyways.” For some reason Niall seemed to still be pissed off at Louis, rolling her eyes before she turned towards Liam, a smile forming on her face. “Li, do you want me to make something? We can also order in, would be easier, or… or we could make something together, but then we’d probably have to go the store...”

“You guys are so domestic, like an old married couple.” There was a snort coming from the couch that got Liam’s cheeks a bit hotter, trying his hardest though to just ignore Louis as he looked down at Niall instead, his stomach turning all over again each time her saw her wearing his clothes. The girl hadn’t had anything clean left at home, and since she had been staying with Liam for most of the break, she had been wearing the boy’s clothes more than her own during the last few days. 

“I… I really don’t mind, whatever you wanna eat, okay? We can think about it while unpacking.” Because that was definitely something that had to be done first, even if it made Niall pout a little bit and Louis sigh heavily from the back. Well, Liam wasn’t gonna let them leave their dirty clothes lying around everywhere in the flat again like they had when they had first moved in here together, someone had to make sure things were in order after all.

“Then maybe we should just order in or I’m gonna starve to death.” Niall’s face had fallen a bit, but her smile came back for a moment when Liam laughed and ruffled her hair, messing it up even more than it had already been from her having had her head in his lap for so long. 

“Can’t have that, can we? But if we unpack now then we got the whole rest of the evening to do nothing at all and we can watch a movie or something… “ Somehow, they had watched like 50 movies during the break, but Liam had still not grown tired of it, which probably came from the fact that he liked doing anything with Niall and judging by the way her face brightened up, the girl didn’t mind it either. “First though, I think we should all collect our dirty clothes and immediately wash it or we’ll run out soon.”

“Yeah, okay… think I forgot most of it at your place anyways… “ Niall was usually easier to convince to do chores than Louis, simply because she didn’t wanna piss Liam off and also because she knew he was right anyways, but to Liam’s surprise, Louis did come over as well after a moment of hesitating, starting to go through his bags too. 

It seemed to take ages, for them all to unpack and wash everything and then put it somewhere so it’d dry, and Liam had a feeling he did most of the work but it was fine because even though Niall and Louis spent their time bickering and moving as slowly as humanly possible, they did eventually empty their bags and help Liam with all the clothes. Maybe Louis was right, this was pretty domestic, but if what he had said was true, then he couldn’t have exactly just applied that theory to Niall and Liam because he was living here as well after all. 

Like always, Louis found an excuse to leave early, saying he had to be at Harry’s because his boyfriend had dinner ready, leaving Niall and Liam to hang up the rest of all their clothes together and honestly, that should have made Liam a bit angry, but in all honesty, it was embarrassing just how happy he got over the fact that him and Niall were alone once again. Even though they had been alone almost every single day for hours on end, the boy just didn’t seem to get enough of her. 

“I hate Louis for this… I’m literally putting up his underwear.” She was indeed, Liam had to bite the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh at the girl because Niall seemed quite stressed out already, her hair up in a messy ponytail, having changed into one of her own shirts and sweatpants a while ago. “Can’t wait until he moves in with Harry or something.”

“That’ll still take ages, they’ve only been together for a year and a half.” The thought of it didn’t seem to be too unappealing though, thinking about him and Niall living here on their own and… Liam didn’t even want to imagine it because he knew it’d never last, they’d have to move out at some point, right? Whenever one of them found someone they’d rather be with. 

“I know, but… it seems like it’s been longer, doesn’t it? They get along so well and everything and… imagine how cool that’d be, like, not that I don’t want Louis to live here anymore, but he’d be visiting anyways and we’d never have to hear him and Harry having sex again and we could always watch whatever movie we wanna watch and I wouldn’t have to hide my food anymore. Oh, and we could get a dog.” The plans Niall was making made Liam smile a little bit, she sounded so excited about it, as if it’d actually happen or something and for the split of a moment, Liam allowed himself to think that maybe there was a chance that it would.

“What kinda dog would you want?” Just because they were only putting up wet clothes anyways, Liam decided to play along for a bit, since they didn’t have to rush because they had only ordered the food ten minutes ago and it’d take at least an hour to get here. 

“Hmmm, I don’t know… one from the shelter, I guess. Remember when I used to beg my mum to let me go to the animal shelter with you and she never allowed it and then we went anyways?” Oh god, Liam had been more scared about Niall’s mum finding out than the girl had been, because he had always known how badly it got to Niall whenever her parents yelled at her. It was still the same actually, something Liam had witnessed a few times during their break once more, slightly being reminded of a few weeks ago, when Niall had been crying in her bed because of that one phone call.

“Yeah… you almost convinced me to get that one cat, that would have been crazy, my mum would have _killed_ me.” Though that was years in the past, Liam still felt his stomach turning a bit while Niall just chuckled, walking over to Liam because she was done with her pile of clothes, surprising him more than just a little bit as she hugged him from the side for a moment, lips brushing against his shoulder. 

“Nah, she wouldn’t have, your mum’s the nicest person I know.” Feeling his cheeks getting hot and red, Liam had to actually clear his throat as he tried to process what Niall had said. She had really gotten a lot cuddlier ever since that camping trip, hadn’t she? 

“What about me?” Trying to fake a pout, Liam felt goosebumps rising all over his body when the girl let go of him, instead rubbing her hand up and down his stomach a few times, taking one of his wet shirts and hanging it up so they’d be done quicker. 

“Sorry, I meant the nicest person after you of course.” That sounded a lot better, and though it had probably just been a joke, it did make Liam feel a tiny bit proud and a lot happier as well, liking the way their arms would occasionally brush on accident, glad that the girl seemingly hadn’t noticed how flushed his face was. “I still want a dog.”

“Well… you can get one, one day, I guess, maybe not in here because it’s kinda small… “ Even if Louis would have been gone, and then also, who would have even gotten the dog once they moved to separate places? That was definitely not a good topic to talk about, it only reminded Liam that the world he had built in his head, the tiny sparks of hopes he sometimes still had, would be crushed terribly one day and he could only hope that he’d somehow be able to move on from it. “We could get a hamster.”

“No, they’re really boring. You know when Louis had a hamster when we were younger? And they’re so small, I couldn’t even properly cuddle it.” Apparently that seemed to be a big problem for Niall, like she seemed to honestly consider it and Liam kinda hated himself for having brought it up because about half a second later, he almost choked on his own spit. “But I got you for that anyways, so whatever.”

Though it was of course true and though they had shared a bed more often than not during that break, Liam still managed to turn even redder, finally putting up the last piece of clothing which resulted in Niall letting out a huge breath of relief, not even looking at the boy’s face luckily as she simply changed the topic yet again and Liam quietly started to really question for how much longer he could keep all of this at a low. Like, literally everyone noticed how close they were and how it wasn’t really… that normal maybe, and everyone could probably also see that Liam was pretty much gone for Niall without a way of ever finding a way back and yet the girl managed to stay completely blind to all of these things for some reason.

Well, it could have been worse, right? Could have been worse than getting to sleep in the same bed and to be Niall’s first kiss, if only it wouldn’t have been a simple practice to her for when she would kiss and be with somebody else. 

The food took ages to get there and by the time it did, they had already started some movie and brought more pillows and blankets to the couch than anyone would have ever needed or used. To Liam’s surprise though, Niall even brought the bear he had given to her for Valentine’s Day, she had even taken it home as well and the boy hadn’t thought that he could still have such heavy reactions to that, but apparently, he was never ever going to move on from any of this. 

“Hey, Li… ?” They both had their food in their laps, already having spilled a few times but it didn’t really matter anyways, their legs touching but not really because they both were using different blankets. 

“Yeah?” He wasn’t really paying much attention to what Niall was saying honestly, more focused on the movie right now because he didn’t really wanna loose track right now, even if it was just some simple comedy, but Liam did turn his head a little bit, thinking it was just some simple question about the plot or something. 

“How many kids do you want when you’re older?” Well… that wasn’t exactly the kinda question Liam had been expecting. 

“Uh… not sure… ” For some reason, Liam’s heart was beating a bit faster at that, almost dropping his fork as he struggled to keep his eyes on the TV and not stare at Niall with the dumbest expression on his face. It was probably because of the movie or something, it was about a family after all. “Maybe… maybe one or two. You?”

“I don’t know either… I was just thinking about it, you know, since I’m an aunt now and everything.” She chuckled a bit, trying to make it into a joke even though Liam knew that she was actually very proud of it and that she had straight up fallen in love with that baby. “But… I’m not sure I’ll ever find someone I wanna have a baby with, so… “

“Sure, you will, but if you don’t want kids then… that’s fine as well, right? It’s your life after all.” Not that Liam was trying to talk her out of it or anything, that would have been quite ridiculous, but like… he was just trying to help, and a little bit trying to make it sound like he could relate when actually… he wouldn’t have to search very long for that one person he would have wanted to spend the rest of life and have kids with, did he? “But like… I don’t know if… if I’ll ever be with someone I wanna have kids with either, so… my mum’s probably gonna cry if that happens, I’m pretty sure she’s already started knitting things for all the potential children my sisters and I could have.”

“Well, if we’re still both single in ten years then we can just adopt a child together or something, that’d be fun.” Oh god, Liam almost choked on his food this time, hiding it as simply having to cough and Niall didn’t even ask about it, just started petting his back while she continued to almost give the boy a heart attack. “Imagine, if we do it like in those movies where best friends get married and stuff.”

“Uh… I’m not sure if that’d work in real life.” Letting out a nervous chuckle, Liam had no bloody idea how Niall had come up with this right now, but it wasn’t unusual anyways, he just had to try and not take any of this serious, because obviously… that’d never happen. “’m sure Nicola and Ruth will have enough kids for my mum to be happy though, so… don’t think we have to go such extreme lengths. “

“It’s fine, Li, I know you wouldn’t wanna marry me.” For some reason, Niall had come to the conclusion that Liam was trying to talk himself out of this, as if it had been a serious offer or something, and before the boy could reply anything, Niall had suddenly put away her empty plate, her facial expression having gotten slightly weird, her smile looking a little bit fake for some reason. “Do we still have ice cream in the freezer?”

“Uh… I think so, yeah, I-“

“Okay, I’ll get you a spoon too, yeah?” And before Liam had any time at all to figure out what had just happened, the girl had already jumped up, walking to the kitchen while Liam was left wondering, his face more than just flushed. What the hell had this been about?

 

\----------

 

Niall didn’t know why she had asked any of these things, or why she had gotten that tiny bit upset over what Liam had said, though they had of course just been joking around, like… obviously they weren’t gonna get married and adopt children, that would have been quite ridiculous. It’s just… Niall still hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Liam holding her niece so she had just kinda blurted out with all of this without thinking and now… now she kinda regretted it a little bit. 

It was Sunday, so they’d have to get up tomorrow because their break would be over then, but Niall still decided that some ice cream couldn’t hurt, like… it was their last free day and anyways, they were adults, they could do whatever the hell they wanted and maybe… maybe Niall had also been trying to get out of that weird situation she had gotten herself into before.

When she returned to the couch with more ice cream in the bowl than any of them could probably eat, Liam’s cheeks seemed to be slightly pink, but he looked relaxed and everything, a bit sleepy maybe, smiling at Niall when she got back underneath her own blanket, sitting a bit closer to him this time. Only because they had to share the bowl of course. 

“I thought I’d just get everything we had left because Louis would eat it tomorrow anyways.” Actually, it was a miracle that they even still had ice cream left, so Niall thought that that was a pretty good excuse, handing a spoon to Liam, who was just shaking his head a bit with a small smile, luckily not looking as if he would wanna bring back their old topic. “We gotta go grocery shopping, I just looked in the fridge.”

“Yeah, I know… I can pick you up after your last class tomorrow and we can go, if you’ve got time, I mean.” Well, what else would Niall have been doing anyways?

“Always for you, Payno.” She joked before fighting his spoon a bit for the chocolate ice cream because there had barely been any left of it, feeling her stomach warming when Liam easily gave in even though it was his favorite as well. 

Since they had spent so much time together and watched movies days on end, Niall would have probably grown tired of anyone who wasn’t Liam, but even now she kinda didn’t want the night to end, didn’t want them to go to separate rooms again and falling back into their normal routines now that they were back home. Though Niall was happy to be back, she wasn’t really happy about having to go back to uni and having to sleep on her own, never really having spent so many nights with Liam except for when they had been kids, but honestly… the girl had to admit that it felt really nice to both sleep in and wake up next to her best friend.

Maybe that explained why she decided that she was too tired to move once the movie had ended and it was almost midnight.

“C’mon, Nialler… let’s go to bed, we gotta get up early tomorrow.” Liam kept his voice quiet and soft, trying not to jostle her even though Niall was refusing to let go of him, having her legs pulled up on the couch, hugging Liam’s arm to her chest, head in the crook of his shoulder. Of course she could have forced herself to get up now, but she was genuinely tired as hell and well… the couch would have been big enough for both of them to sleep on. 

“I don’t want to… “ The girl whined, exaggerating just a little tiny bit, only getting a sigh out of Liam as he briefly kissed the top of her head, not really even trying to pull his arm out of her grip or to get up, so Niall counted that as a good sign, her voice sounding naturally sleepy but she did help with that a bit as well, mumbling into the boy’s shirt. “Let’s just sleep here… I don’t wanna move anymore… “

“Here? It’s kinda, uh… small.” Not smaller than the space in bed they usually shared, but of course Niall didn’t say that, yawning quietly before snuggling deeper into Liam, his body warming her up even better than the blanket, the familiar smell of cologne almost making Niall even sleepier than she had already been. 

“It’ll be like…. like a sleepover party… “ Niall half whispered, feeling the boy’s chest vibrate a bit as he chuckled, his free hand resting somewhere on Niall’s arm, thumb rubbing circles as if he didn’t even notice the movements anymore. 

“Okay… I gotta turn off the lights though… “ They only had one light on anyways, so Niall allowed Liam to stretch a little bit, and then of course let him get into a lying position but never really wanting to let go of him completely, ending up squished between the boy and the back of the couch, a mess of blankets and pillows covering them and yet Niall wouldn’t have had it any other way. “Go to sleep, I put an alarm on my phone, okay? Sweet dreams, babe… “

“You too… “ No one could blame Niall really, it was pitch black now and she was tired as hell and Liam was so comfortable, but as she aimed to kiss his cheek, she was well aware that she instead somehow ended up kissing the corner of his mouth, something that would have gotten her pretty embarrassed had she not been on the verge of falling asleep. “Sorry…”

“’s okay…” It didn’t sound like he minded, maybe he had frozen up a bit underneath the girl for a moment, but honestly, when Niall put her head back down on Liam’s chest, felt his arm winding around her and holding her tightly, she decided that maybe the goodnight kiss had just been a little bit on purpose as well.

 

\------------

 

The following two weeks went by pretty uneventful, it got a bit warmer outside, over which Liam was pretty happy, even though it also meant that he and Niall didn’t get to share blankets anymore whenever they watched TV at night, only occasionally, but the boy still decided that he could probably live with that for as long as Niall didn’t stop cuddling into him whenever she got tired. 

Not much happened though, they all fell back into their normal routines, going to uni, studying, fighting over who had to do the vacuum cleaning, trying to decide on what to eat and honestly, after that whole camping trip thing and the kiss, Liam was suddenly starting to appreciate the little things a lot more, because it had caused him to think a bit further, how it wouldn’t always be like this, how Niall would eventually not come into his bed on a Saturday morning anymore, how she wouldn’t randomly come over to his room at unholy hours asking if she could spend the night, or hold his hand even when they were out in public.

Maybe Liam had taken these things a little bit for granted over the course of the years, because it had just always been like that, and he had always kinda known that it’d eventually all change, but he had never quite prepared himself for it, had pushed it into the back of his head.

“Hey… how was your day?” Liam asked out of habit after entering the flat, finding Louis sitting on the couch with just training shorts on, eating a bowl of cereal even though it was like 5 pm. They had probably run out of food again and no one had bothered to say anything or go shopping, so Liam made a mental note to do that later, after he had come down a bit from a very stressful day at uni. 

“Good, two of my classes were cancelled, I’ve been here for like 3 hours. Yours?” Chuckling a bit as Liam glared at him over the first part, Louis put another spoonful of cereal into his mouth, turning down the TV a bit as the other boy let himself fall onto the other end of the couch, feeling as if he might have fallen right asleep had he closed his eyes for just a second. And god, he had so much homework and studying to do as well. 

“Terrible, actually… I forgot all my pens and I almost forgot about my presentation and I missed the bus just now and it started raining too and… wait, is Niall already here?” Her last class had actually ended before Liam’s, so usually she should have already been home, but as Liam twisted his head around to look towards her room, his stomach sunk a bit as he saw the door wide open, the girl nowhere to be seen though. 

“No, but she texted me like 5 minutes ago that I can’t eat all the cereal we have left or she will chop off my balls or something. We still have plenty left though, so don’t freak out, yeah? And ‘m sure she’s fine too, so.” That was a little bit of a relief, like of course Liam and Niall had texted throughout the day, had even seen each other at one point between their classes, but there was no denying that Liam was still worried about her and also… yeah, he did miss her, he always missed her somehow and it was stupid, but… he couldn’t really help it. “Thought you two couldn’t go a second without knowing where the other is anyways.”

“We can, I just… I just thought she’d be home before me, is all.” Trying to play it down, Liam felt his cheeks getting a little bit hot because though Louis had been joking, he was right anyways. “And I don’t want her walking home alone when it’s dark outside.”

“Relax, Li, it’s only 5 pm or something, she’s gonna be just fine. You know, she’s 20 years old and I’m gonna take a wild guess and say she can probably walk home by herself.” Of course Louis was amused by this, but Liam just simply ignored him, putting his head down against the back of the couch because he was too tired to fight, and also still worried about Niall even though he was 99% sure that she was just fine. But why was she late though, Liam had already been late himself so something must have happened. 

“Thanks, Lou, very calming…” The younger boy mumbled, eyes on the TV even though he wasn’t really watching, his stomach grumbling a bit but he was too tired to get up and make himself something to eat when they only had cereal left anyways. 

“Oh c’mon, Payno, I was just joking. She’ll get here in just a few minutes or she wouldn’t have texted me about the food, okay? You just gotta relax, she can take care of herself and I know you’re constantly worried about her and trying to protect her, but… I promise it’s no big deal that she’s running late and that she’ll be just fine and you can keep on swooning over each other, okay?” Amazing, how Louis always found a way back to that topic. Thank god he didn’t know about that kiss or Liam would have never been able to live it down. 

“We’re not… swooning over each other.” Only Liam was, but there was no need to say that because everyone knew anyways. 

“Well, okay, then you can keep trying to be subtle about being deadly in love with her while she stays completely oblivious to it because you never say a damn word about it.” See, the thing was, Louis was so damn right from his point of view, and it must have looked like Liam was an idiot and a coward, but… Louis wasn’t in his position after all, so how would he know? And anyways, he must have realized by now that Niall wasn’t interested. 

“You know exactly why I don’t say anything, Tommo. There’s no use, she doesn’t-“

“Doesn’t feel the same, blah blah blah, I know. But maybe she just doesn’t know it yet, you never even made yourself an option, Li, and you two are definitely acting like more than just best friends, you always have, it’d only make sense for you to start dating, like honestly, I couldn’t imagine either of you with someone else.” Louis seemed to honestly mean it, which made all of this even harder, because well… Liam couldn’t see himself with anyone else either, like in the long run, and it were moments like these that Liam felt himself stupidly allowing to let a little bit of hope grow inside of him. Even if he knew that just because Louis was saying these things didn’t necessarily make them true, but… it made all of this seem a little less hopeless.

Though Liam actually wanted to drop the topic, they somehow kept on talking about it, and at least it made him stop worrying for that time, because he was almost too surprised when he heard the keys moving in the door lock, immensely relieved that they hadn’t just been talking about anything Niall related for the moment.

“Hey, boys.” Somehow Liam had expected Niall to not be that happy as she walked through the door, not have such a big smile on her face, but he quickly decided that that was a good thing, immediately feeling the knot in his stomach loosen as he looked at her, returning the smile of course as their eyes met and trying to ignore the fact that he could actually see Louis’ stupid smirk without even looking. Whatever. 

“Hey, what’s gotten you so smiley, Nialler? Liam’s been worried sick about you.” Of course he had to bring that up, causing Niall’s happy face to crumbl for a second as she took off her shoes, dropping her stuff before coming over to them. 

“Sorry, I didn’t think I’d be so late, wasn’t really watching the time.” Her excuse didn’t really sound like anything more was going on and as the girl let herself drop onto the couch, much closer to Liam than to Louis, the boy quickly decided to stop thinking about it. Clearly Niall was fine, so why would he have been worried? 

“It’s fine, Ni, no worries… how was your day?” Liam asked her the same question as Louis before, trying not to blush as Niall looked at him for a second, narrowing her eyes a bit before fixing his hair a bit, all naturally and automatically, her smile returning right afterwards.

“Uni wasn’t that good, but I, um… “ The fact that she randomly broke off was weird, still all happy though and Liam almost started thinking that maybe she was acting a little bit hyper, as if she was on the verge of starting to burst out into giggles or something, like, what exactly had happened to put her into such a good mood on a damn long day like this? “I gotta tell you something later.”

“Wh-“

“Oh gosh, stop with the secrets, Niall, we’re not kids, what can you tell Liam that you can’t tell me as well?” Most things actually, but Liam kept his mouth shut, biting the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t intervene because in all honesty, he really wanted Niall to tell him right now as well and Louis would have surely not left the room anymore now.

“Fine, alright, I’ll tell both of you.” Niall gave in easily for some reason, rolling her eyes as she pulled her legs onto the couch and hugged them to her chest, her smile immediately back and Liam briefly wondered whether her cheeks were already hurting, resisting the urge to let his arm drop around her shoulders. She looked really beautiful today, like every day, but the fact that she was so happy kinda made her glow even more than normally. “Okay so… I’ve got this really shitty class, right? The one where we always have to do the stupidest shit as homework and anyways, we gotta do something in pairs for next week and it was really awkward because I don’t know anyone and… “

“And?” For some reason, Liam’s mouth felt really dry, his smile having vanished, and it was Louis who asked actually, not sounding too curious anymore but rather… worried?

It was then that Niall turned her head to look at Liam with a giant grin, and he really tried to smile at her, tried to stay positive even though he already had an idea where this was leading to, but as the words actually left her mouth, he thought he’d wake up from a nightmare any second. “We got paired up and I… I met a guy and I missed my bus because we were talking even after our class was over and… he’s really nice and we’re gonna meet up to do our project and… I don’t know, maybe this is stupid, but he asked me if I have a boyfriend and I said no and then he was like, kinda smiling and it was so cute and I… sorry, I just… he’s really nice and… yeah, just wanted to tell you.”

Liam was _fucked_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <33
> 
> i hope youre all still enjoying the story lmao i know a lot of people are probably skipping it cos its girl niall (which is fine! ill have plenty more fics to come ;)) but everyone who does enjoy it and who keeps commenting and left me kudos, just know i really appreciate it and i love you all for being so loyal and so nice so thank you so much! xx


	7. Chapter 7

It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal, honestly, it was just some stupid ass guy that Niall had met, some random dude from uni that had said something nice to her and for some reason the girl had immediately fallen for it. Not that Liam thought Niall was dumb or easy to get because god knows she wasn’t, it’s just… she had obviously been waiting for this to happen, had waited for some guy to pay attention her, ask if she had a boyfriend, and now that it had happened, of course she was all over the moon.

And Liam was ready to crush someone’s skull in.

When Niall had told him and Louis two weeks ago, Liam had honestly thought he had had to die right then and there, or break out into tears, or yell at her, but surprisingly enough, he had done none of it, hadn’t even flinched as he had faked a smile, had told Niall how excited he was for her, had fucking encouraged her later that night when they had been sitting on his bed talking. She was happy, happier than she ever was with Liam and it wouldn’t have been fair to ruin this for her just because Liam was a jealous twat.

Inside though, Liam felt like he had died two weeks ago, and was dying all over again whenever he heard that name, whenever Niall wasn’t home because she was on a stupid date or whenever she was behind her closed bedroom door laughing because she was face timing him. It had only been two bloody weeks, how could they have already fallen in love? They didn’t even know each other for god’s sake, and three dates weren’t exactly gonna bring that dude on the level Liam was on, like, what did they have to talk about anyways that they had to text all day long about?! This was more than ridiculous.

“Hey, Payno, what’s goin’ on with you?” As if Harry didn’t fucking know, he already had that pitiful sound in his voice as he knocked slightly on Liam’s door, even if it had been open, but the boy had just been lying on his bed anyways, an arm across his eyes, trying not to think about how he had had to help Niall pick out an outfit for this other guy an hour ago. He had even picked her up from downstairs, so Liam couldn’t even say that he was being irresponsible, or an idiot, because frankly, he had never even seen that guy in real life, didn’t even _want_ to see him anywhere besides on that picture Niall had shown him with an enormous grin. Yeah, he wasn’t ugly but… he wasn’t exactly a model either.

“Nothing, ‘m tired.” Of course Liam was trying not to let it show, tried to pretend it was alright, that he was absolutely fine with this and didn’t even care, just… it was hard when Harry and Louis knew that he had been in love with Niall since fucking forever. 

“Where’s…. Niall?” The question came out careful, probably because Harry already knew, but Liam didn’t even flinch, didn’t even think about moving his arm either, he just let out a breath, trying not to hate himself for having told Niall to wear something he knew looked really, really good on her. But she was his best friend and not only his crush, and it was natural that Liam was the first person she told everything to, so he was really trying so hard, trying not cringe whenever she told him about the compliments that guy had made her, how he had held her hand once, how he had looked at her. Thank god they hadn’t kissed yet, Liam would have probably had to vomit, he still needed a few weeks before he’d be emotionally ready to deal with that. For now, he was still the only guy who had ever had the pleasure of kissing Niall. And who had gotten to share a bed with her.

“Out.” Was all Liam answered, because that was pretty self-explainable and using the word ‘date’ would have kinda made it a bit too real for him. 

“Oh… sorry I asked.” He did sound guilty, but Liam didn’t care, it’s not like he could escape this topic, it actually seemed to be everything him and Niall talked about since two weeks anyways. “Are you… alright?”

“I’m fine, as I said, I’m just tired.” And so jealous that he could have bursted into tears, but whatever. It wasn’t like someone had ripped out his heart and stomped on it twelve million times, no, it was more like… more like someone had set it on fire and _then_ stomped on it twelve million times. “Where’s Louis?”

“He quickly went to the store, we were gonna make a cake but there were no eggs left. You like chocolate cake, right?” Question was, did Liam really like anything anymore because he wasn’t quite sure to be honest.

“Yeah, I guess.” Could Harry maybe leave now, this was getting awkward, and why had he even stayed behind? Probably because he had wanted to check on Liam, they had come home like half an hour after Niall had left and had luckily left Liam to sulk in self-pity, but he seemed to have lost that privilege now.

“Great, you can have some when we’re done, yeah?” God, could he stop talking to Liam as if he was a damn child? Why couldn’t he just say what he wanted to say?

“Thanks.” There was no way Liam was gonna eat chocolate cake with Harry and Louis, he would have actually rather died than sitting on the couch with them while they both side eyed him and then possibly have Niall bursting into the room with that huge grin she always seemed to wear lately and letting them all in on how Mr. Perfect had held the door open for her. As if Liam hadn’t held open every single fucking stupid door for her they had ever encountered. 

The following silence was slightly awkward, not really for Liam because in all honesty, he had stopped caring long ago, but he heard Harry shifting his feet a little bit, probably trying to figure out the best way to start this, and Liam just kept on lying there, covering half his face and his eyes, hoping that something at all would happen to make him just feel the slightest bit better. But everything he wanted would have made Niall feel bad, so he would probably have to continue suffering.

“You know, uh… “ Harry finally started, moving more into the room and Liam almost let out a groan when he felt the mattress give in a little, indicating that the younger boy had sat down on his bed for this. Great, that was gonna last _ages_. “I know that… that this must feel like absolute shit and I wish I could say something to make it better but I know I can’t and… like, we haven’t been friends for that long, but… I really do care about you and if there’s anything I can do, you know, just let me know, I know I already kinda told you but… usually we aren’t alone, so.”

“It’s all good, Haz, I… I’ll be fine, but thank you, really… “ Liam couldn’t even be annoyed or angry or any of that sort because Harry was just trying to help after all, and he really didn’t have to, and yet he chose to and Liam felt his stomach twisting a bit. He knew he could have kept himself together a little more, but he had already done that for the first few days, where he had hoped it’d stay at that project Niall and that guy had had to do but… it was emotionally draining to constantly keep it together. “I’ll get over it… eventually.”

“Yeah, I guess, but… “ Then he interrupted himself, which couldn’t mean anything good, but Liam didn’t even have any time to really worry about it because in the end, it wouldn’t really matter anyways. “I still think that… that you should tell her, at some point, like… I mean, honestly, Liam, I doubt that the first guy she meets will be the one she spends the rest of her life with, this is not like… set in stone or something, you know? It’s just the first guy she met that’s genuinely interested in her and of course it’s exciting and stuff. I don’t know the guy, but… he seems to want to move along kinda fast.”

“I mean, it’s whatever, you know… she’s gotta know herself if… if that’s what she wants, like… from what she told me, he doesn’t seem too bad. I know that… that this won’t last forever, that it will most likely not be that one guy, but it’ll be _some_ guy, and I know it won’t be me so there’s no point to tell her and make her feel guilty, I’m…. I’m her best friend, I want her to rely on me not hold things back and… it just sucks but there is nothing I can do and I’ll have to get used to it eventually and just… move on.” All of that was so easy to say, because Liam knew it were the right things to say, the right things to do, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t lying awake at night trying not to cry, trying not to walk over to Niall’s room and just blurt out with it.

“But… you love her.” Was all Harry said, his voice having gotten more quiet, as if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to say that because Liam had never explicitly told him himself.

“Yeah… but doesn’t mean I get to be with her, like… if I tell her she’s either gonna be mad or she’s gonna feel sorry for me, and I don’t want her to be either, I want her to be happy and if… if that guy makes her happy then… “ Then that’s what Liam had to live with, he was aware that he sounded as if he was really keeping it all together and as if he was at good terms with himself, but in reality, saying all of this out loud was a lot harder than it seemed. All of this was just shit, Liam had known this would happen one day, and a part of him was really excited for Niall, and happy, and relieved as well, that she now finally saw that Liam hadn’t lied to her about how she’d find someone who liked her, but of course, the bigger part of him just wanted to lie down and sleep for preferably ten years. 

“I’m sorry, Li, I… I know I shouldn’t say this, but.. I always thought you two would end up together and even though she’s seeing this guy now, like… it doesn’t mean anything, I know she’s got to feel something for you and I hope one day she’s gonna see it and that… that it won’t be too late.” As if Liam would ever be able to fully move on anyways.

“Yeah… I hope you’re right… “ It was just Harry believing in destiny and true love or something, Liam knew that the boy was like that, and he wasn’t trying to let himself be influenced because Louis would say this stuff as well, had been saying it for years now, only slightly more aggressive of course, but obviously, it didn’t really mean anything. “Thanks for… you know.”

“Well… I didn’t really do anything, so… “ True, actually, but Liam still somehow appreciated it, finally letting his arm drop behind his head now to throw something like a smile at Harry, trying to ignore the guilty look on his face. 

“It’s fine… I think I’m gonna go for a run or something.” Liam had been doing that a lot lately, it really took off his mind, he had gone running a lot a few years ago and he still enjoyed it now, so it seemed to be a good alternative to lying in bed wishing he was actually dead and not only feeling like it inside. 

“Then you’ll get to have cake when you get back.” The smile on his face was pretty sad, but he was trying his best here so Liam faked one as well as he sat up, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to somewhat sort it out because he had been lying in his bed for a pretty long time already. Ever since Niall had left, to be exact. 

It was only slightly awkward when Harry finally left his room, giving Liam privacy so he could change his clothes, almost changing his mind a few times because he actually felt pretty tired and worn out, but when he did leave in the end, Louis still hadn’t gotten back and there were no text messages on his phone so Liam didn’t really see a reason to stay.

Not like anybody needed him at home.

 

\------------

 

Niall still felt tingly when she woke up in the morning, even though she hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep last night, but she was just buzzing and feeling all around happy that she somehow couldn’t manage to stay asleep for any longer even if she hadn’t had to get up at all today, seeing as it was Saturday. And not only _any_ Saturday because she had another date tonight and maybe it was weird to have so many dates in a row, but holy shit… why would she have said no?

The girl couldn’t honestly leave that any of this was happening, that she had randomly met a guy who was so nice and funny and genuinely interested in her, who paid for her food even though she always complained, who held doors open for her and occasionally held her hand and just… it was amazing, and it felt so good as well that Niall could barely even believe it.

They hadn’t kissed or anything, hadn’t gone further than hugging and holding hands, but even though Niall could have never believed that this would happen one day, she was actually pretty damn sure that something else would happen at some point. Like… yeah, she was nervous and she wouldn’t go as far as saying she was in love because it had only been two weeks, but… she liked him, liked the way it felt to have somebody there who liked her for who she was.

Staying in bed for a little bit longer, Niall tried to fall back asleep but simply couldn’t, the smile forming on her face almost hurting as she read the text message on her phone, simply saying ‘ _last night was fun :)_ ’ and her stomach turned in ways that it never really had before. Just to think that they’d be meeting up again today was… unbelievable. How come Liam suddenly wasn’t the only person anymore who didn’t seem to get tired of being around Niall?

Speaking of him, the girl really needed to tell her best friend about everything that had happened, update him on how it was going because usually Liam was still up whenever she got home, but it had been really late last night and Louis had informed her that Liam had been out running, so of course he had been tired, which was fine of course. Only now, Niall couldn’t fucking wait to tell him, and Liam seemed to be so happy for her and sharing it with him somehow made all of this even better than it already was.

Rolling out of bed, Niall rubbed her eyes a bit before trying to find her coordination as she walked over to her window in order to pull the curtains back, blinking against the light shining into her room, already feeling her stomach filling with happiness when she noticed what a nice day it was. Last night it had gotten pretty damn cold, but now, it seemed to actually be warm outside and well… that was pretty convenient.

Even though it was Saturday, Niall couldn’t really wait to make breakfast before lightly knocking on Liam’s door, hoping that the boy was already awake because she _really_ needed to tell her best friend about everything that had happened last night. Not so many interesting things actually, but of course Niall was still excited, she had never thought she’d even go on one single date, so going on so many with the same guy was absolutely mind blowing to her. Liam really needed to meet him, surely they’d get along great, right?

As there was no answer, Niall lightly pushed down the door handle, trying to be somewhat quiet because she wasn’t actually planning on waking Liam as it was still kinda early, a little bit disappointed when she found the room pitch black and saw Liam’s figure underneath the blanket, could hear his even breathing. Alright, he was definitely still asleep.

For some reason, Niall hesitated, feeling like she should have left, but looking at her best friend even though she couldn’t see all that much kinda made her miss him a little bit. Which was stupid, they saw each other every day, but ever since… ever since Niall had met that guy, she had spent a lot of time texting him and skyping him and meeting him and somehow… somehow she really wished to just be lying in bed with Liam right now, like they did on Saturday’s.

What if this whole relationship got like… serious, would it have been wrong to still sleep in Liam’s bed occasionally? That was one problem Niall would have never thought she’d have to encounter, however… they were only friends now, so she really saw no problem with quietly walking into the room, leaving the door open to let some light in as she went to carefully sit on the edge of Liam’s bed.

There was no denying that she had been comparing the two boys, since Liam was the one she had spent almost all her life with, and there were moments when… when Niall cracked jokes on her dates and somehow wished it would have been Liam there with her, because he would have totally gotten them. Or when she had gotten kinda cold last night, she knew Liam would have given her his jacket without even thinking about it or asking. But… those were just random thoughts, that didn’t mean anything, right?

For some reason, Liam started moving around as soon as Niall had sat down, which he had maybe already been doing before, but Niall suddenly got slightly confused because after all, she knew that Liam wasn’t really one to move that much in his sleep. Only if he was having bad dreams or if it was really hot or something, but it actually felt like a good temperature in here and also, he was kinda clinging to his blanket, so… the girl was a little bit clueless.

After creepily watching the boy for a bit, Niall did get worried, for the moment completely forgetting about how she had been wanting to talk about last night with her best friend, instead reaching out for him, his face kinda scrunched up as if he was pain, and as Niall’s hand reached Liam’s forehead, she suddenly had a pretty good idea why that would be. He was burning hot.

“Hey, Liam… “ Since it didn’t seem to be a very relaxing sleep and since he felt like he was having a fever, Niall didn’t feel too bad for slightly shaking Liam’s shoulder, feeling her stomach drop a bit at the thought of him being sick, like… he was never sick, what had he been doing last night? “Li… hey, bean, time to wake up, c’mon… your forehead’s like… burning up.”

It took a bit more shaking, and running her fingers through his slightly damp hair, more worry rising in Niall’s chest when she heard Liam groan a bit, again moving around, his voice sounding hoarse as he finally seemed to wake up a bit. “I feel like… fuckin’ shit… “

“I can see that… what’ve you been doing, Li? You look awful.” Not that Niall could see that much, but looking down at Liam, who was now on his back, eyes still half closed, the girl couldn’t help but immediately assume the very worst, feeling herself going into protective mode. Usually Liam was the one taking care of her, but… seeing him sick or down was literally the very worst thing in the world, since he was usually the strong one, the one she could lean on, but if it was the other way around, Niall got very much the same over protective way Liam normally did. 

“Don’t know… I’ve just been out running, and… it was kinda cold and I went too far I think, I-“ He was interrupted by coughing, which sounded really damn awful and Niall felt goosebumps rising all over her arms as she watched, feeling slightly helpless. “’s fine though, I… ‘m sure it… it’ll be better once I’m up and… how was your date? Sorry I didn’t wait up, I was just-“

“Liam, who cares about my date right now, honestly, you’re really sick and you gotta stay in bed and… I’ll get you something to drink and some medicine, yeah? It’s… it’s in the bathroom, right?” Her date was the last thing Niall wanted to talk about now, of course Liam was playing it down, but the girl’s number one priority now was to make sure he’d be fine, just like he always did for her.

“Yeah, but… you really don’t need t-“

“Sh, I will do it anyways, bean. Stay in bed, yeah? I’ll be right back.” And then, just because it seemed kinda appropriate and because Niall was so focused on doing anything to make Liam feel better, she quickly smacked a kiss on the side of his forehead before getting up, her lips still burning as she went on a search through the whole bathroom, slightly more panicked than she would have needed to be. 

Finding the right medicine for Liam was hard, not only because Niall had no idea if it was just a cold, but also because their roles were usually switched. In the end, she brought more stuff than necessary, also a glass of water, almost tripping over her own feet twice as she returned to the boy’s room, not thinking about anything right now except for what could have possibly caused him to get himself sick. How long had he been out running? And where? And since when had he even taken that up again?

“Alright, uh… not sure which ones are the right ones so I brought them all… can I open the curtains or should I leave them closed?” Just to check, Liam had somewhat brought himself into a sitting position when Niall had returned, putting the items on his bedside table.

“You can open them, it’s okay, Ni, thank you… I really don’t feel that bad though, I just-“ Again, he was interrupted by having to cough while the girl had gone to open the curtains, immediately returning though once the room was finally lit, realizing that her best friend seemed to be in an even worse state than she would have thought now that she saw him in daylight. And his eyes were so red as well, was that a normal symptom of a cold?

“Don’t talk too much, bean… here.” Handing him the glass of water once he had slightly calmed down, Niall’s eyes never left Liam’s face for just a single second, putting her hands on various parts of his face, checking whether she had imagined him being this overly hot. Sadly, that was not the case. “I think you have a fever… how long were you out? It was raining a bit as well, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t know, uh… I think it did rain but… I was just… it was just going really well, so I didn’t just wanna run back home.” Liam made it seem like no big deal, shrugging a bit while going through all the things Niall had brought him before taking a pill of the right one once he had found it, making her feel slightly stupid for not having known. 

“Since when are you going running again?” He definitely hadn’t done that two weeks ago, but it probably wasn’t as deep as Niall thought, it was just because he had gotten himself sick that the girl was kinda worried.

“I just… I just felt like it.” Shrugging a bit, there was a really weird expression on Liam’s face that Niall blamed on his illness, letting the topic drop immediately when she saw a shiver going through Liam’s body right before he pulled the blanket up higher, half lying down again once he had put away the glass, his eyes looking kinda red shot, his face pale and his hair sticking a bit to his forehead and yet he somehow managed half a smile at the girl, as if he could have just made her forget about her worries like that. “So, how was the date?”

“It was… it was good, like the others to be honest, but... yeah, it was nice.” Better than nice, but it was hard to think clearly when Liam was lying there seemingly half dead while trying to be interested in Niall’s love life even though he probably just wanted to sleep this off. God, he really was the absolute sweetest, wasn’t he? “Li, I think you should maybe try and sleep some more or… do you want some breakfast, maybe? I can make you anything you want, or if you need something else.”

“I think ‘m good for now, Ni, thanks though… I’m sure it’ll be better in a few hours.” Didn’t quite look like it, but Liam was still smiling, reaching out until his hand was covering Niall’s and the girl didn’t hesitate to intertwine their fingers, squeezing the boy’s hand a bit as she watched him. Was it wrong, to feel more comfortable holding Liam’s hand than that boy’s she was seeing? Maybe it was just because it was familiar. 

“You don’t really look like it now though, I… maybe we should open the window a little bit, you know, so the germs can get outside or something.” Niall wasn’t 100% sure how this worked, but she could imagine that Liam had been coughing in here all night and that surely couldn’t be too healthy. 

“Yeah, okay… “ He didn’t look too happy about that, but the girl knew it was because he was really cold even though it was kinda warm, squeezing Liam’s hand some more before slowly letting go of him so she could go over and open the window instead. “It’s really damn cold, shit… “

“It’s actually quite warm outside…. are you sure that one pill was enough? What about that other thing you always make me take when I’m sick, the gross one?” Worriedly watching the boy pulling the blanket all the way up to his chin, Niall returned to her place on the edge of the bed, the open window not actually bringing in that much cool air as Liam made it seem. 

“Welll…. It is pretty gross.” Liam smirked as the girl rolled her eyes at him because that was something she always said before taking it anyways because Liam would force her. “I’ll take it when I don’t feel better in a few hours, okay?”

“Alright… “ That didn’t sound like he would take it at all, but Niall let herself be defeated, leaning her arm on Liam’s legs over the blanket, suddenly not at all wanting to tell him any details from last night anymore. It’s just, there were more important things she had to worry about now other than some date, it had been great, no question, but Liam looked like he would die any second. “I can stay with you, I guess Louis and Harry will leave in a bit, but we can, like… watch some movies if you want, and I’ll go to the store and get you some things, okay?”

“Wait, but… didn’t you say yesterday you were, uh… going on another date today?” Liam sounded really confused for a moment, which made sense, but to be honest, Niall wouldn’t have felt bad about cancelling the date, they could go on tons more, right? But Liam was sick and Niall couldn’t and also didn’t want to leave him alone like this, she wanted to be there and take care of him.

“Whatever, I’ll cancel it, we can go on other dates and also… we’ve been yesterday, so.” Smiling down at her best friend, Niall thought that Liam would protest, that he’d tell her to go anyways and that she’d have to convince him to let her stay, but to Niall’s surprise, Liam only hesitated for a little bit before returning her smile. 

“Okay… thanks, Nialler.” Shit, he really must have been feeling bad if he wanted her to stay this badly. 

“No problem, bean, I’d never leave you alone like this.” There were just things more important than a date, and Niall knew how it felt like now anyways, and surely, it would be understandable to cancel if her best friend was lying in bed feeling poorly, right? “I’ll go and make you some tea, okay? And maybe something to eat too, you can have a nap meanwhile or something.”

Though Liam didn’t seem too excited about the idea of food, he did thank Niall once more, his pale cheeks going a little red though, especially whenever Niall leaned down once more to kiss his cheek, but she decided that he could need that little bit of color. 

The girl wasn’t sure if Liam fell asleep while she was in the kitchen trying to be quick so he wouldn’t have to be alone for too long, in the meantime shooting the guy she was seeing a message so he knew that she couldn’t come today and so she wouldn’t have to cancel last minute. It’s just, the chances of Liam getting better until in a few hours seemed to be pretty slim. 

Niall honestly didn’t think it was a big thing, she left her phone on the counter while preparing other things, but as she returned five minutes later to check on it, it was the first time that she realized that maybe Liam and that boy wouldn’t get along at all. All the message read was ‘ _what, you’re cancelling for him?_ ’ and Niall almost dropped everything she had been holding.

It’s not like she had never talked about Liam because she had, he was her best friend after all and… now that she thought about it though, whenever she had mentioned the other boys, Liam especially, she had never quite gotten a real answer, or a real smile, and she had never really thought that that was something that would be a problem, but… apparently it was.

Well, as excited as she was about the fact that someone was interested in her… she was definitely not going to leave Liam alone because of that, he was her best friend since almost all her life, of course he meant more to her than any guy she could possibly meet.

 

\----------------

 

Liam felt a little bit stupid for what he had done. Like yeah it had been supposed to be a one hour run or something, but he had ended up being away for almost 4 hours, and it had gotten quite cold and rainy, and he had known he’d get sick but he hadn’t wanted to go back, hadn’t wanted to eat cake with Harry and Louis, he had just needed some… some time to think. Even if it had led to exactly nothing, and even though he had felt like absolute crap when he had gotten back home, having showered and immediately gone to bed, completely ignoring his friends sitting on the couch and only feeling a little bit guilty for not waiting up for Niall to get home like he usually did.

Now though, the boy had to admit that he was quite positively surprised, that even though he felt like he had to die because of his head killing him and that he felt as if he was gonna freeze to death and his lunges were gonna burst whenever he coughed, Liam really wouldn’t have thought that Niall would cancel her date so easily for him, that she’d just stay here and not look like she even cared. It honestly made him feel a ton better compared to the last two weeks, even despite the fact that he was sick, but the girl didn’t event seem to want to talk about her cancelled date or the one she had had last night, it was like she really only cared about Liam’s health right now.

“… Niall?” Liam had kinda fallen asleep on the couch for a little bit, not really having wanted to stay in bed all day, but he had waited until Louis and Harry had left, luckily not having checked on them because Liam and Niall had just been lying in the boy’s bed after he had attempted to eat something, happy that he hadn’t had to puke just yet. It had been really nice though, apparently Niall didn’t care about getting sick also, so she had just gotten into bed with Liam, which had made him really happy because well… he had been pretty cold, still was, and also, Niall hadn’t been in his bed in way too long. Now though, the girl seemed to have left.

“I’m here, one second!” Her voice came somewhere from the bathroom and Liam relaxed, trying to bring himself into a different position, kinda feeling a little stiff and groggy and somehow even worse than before. Maybe that nap hadn’t been a good idea after all.

They had been watching TV on the couch for like 10 minutes before Liam had felt himself drifting off, no idea how long he had been out, rubbing at his eyes as he sat up, pulling the blanket with him, a thinner one than the one he had in his bed, causing another shiver to go through his body. Okay, maybe he wasn’t gonna go for another run in a few days. 

“The blue stuff is for the washing machine, right?” Was the first thing the girl asked as she came out of the bathroom, she had changed her clothes while Liam had been asleep and her hair wasn’t in a ponytail anymore and somehow, the boy couldn’t stop staring.

“Uh, yeah, I… what’re you washing?” Nothing had been in the laundry bag, so Liam was a bit confused, trying to make more space on the couch as the girl came to sit next to him, immediately putting her hand on his forehead, a concentrated look on her face.

“Your bed clothing, so you won’t keep infecting yourself.” Niall said it like it was no big deal, and just as Liam had opened his mouth to tell her that she really didn’t have to do that even though his stomach got all warm and tingly, the girl had already carried on. “How are you feeling? You feel a bit warmer than before. “

“I…. I don’t know, I’m still tired but…. I don’t feel as bad as right after waking up.” Well, not much better but Niall didn’t have to know that, did she?

“Maybe you should sleep some more… are you hungry? You didn’t eat a lot before.” For some reason, Niall didn’t just let her hand drop, but instead kept running her fingers through Liam’s hair, her voice sounding caring and also worried and even though all of that was usually Liam’s part, he was enjoying it a lot more than he should have. Especially ever since Niall had met that guy and they hadn’t hung out too much, it just… it was nice knowing for sure that she wasn’t just gonna drop Liam for some guy, not that he had thought she would, but he had missed spending a whole day alone with her, even if he had to be sick for it.

“No, I’m scared I won’t be able to keep it in, thanks though, I… I’ll eat something a little bit later I think.” Or maybe better not, Liam really didn’t wanna have to throw up and have Niall watching or something, that would have been really damn gross and besides, he really just wanted her to stay here with him right now, keep running her fingers through his hair, because it gave him more butterflies than appropriate. “Thanks for staying here, Ni, I’m sorry for… ruining your date.”

“It’s whatever really, we can go on another day and… I don’t think he minded too much anyways.” That certainly hadn’t sounded very much like it, the girl’s expression had turned into a little bit of a frown and though the last thing Liam wanted to talk about was that guy, but… he kinda felt forced to ask now.

“You think?” Liam could imagine that he had gotten angry, especially if Niall had told him the truth, Liam got really jealous whenever Niall was out on a date, he couldn’t imagine how that guy must have felt if she cancelled their date for her best friend, like, not that he had any dips on her, they had only gone out a few times after all.

“Well… I told him why I can’t come and… he seemed slightly upset, but like… it doesn’t matter, you’re my best friend and you’ll always be more important than any date in the world.” Oh.

Okay, it was highly inappropriate to get happy about this, but Liam couldn’t help it either ways, trying to hold back a smile even though his stomach was doing flips. There, she had said it, so it had to be true, right? Liam knew that he couldn’t always expect to be this important in her life, but looking at her face right now, the boy could see that she had been honest and even though it was wrong, it got him feeling incredibly relieved. “Thanks, Ni, really, I… I don’t want him to be mad at you though, because of me, I-“

“He’s not, I think, I don’t know. But if he does get mad then… that’s his problem, not mine, I told him about you, and the other boys as well, so it’s not like… coming out of nowhere, so whatever.” She shrugged, letting her hand slowly drop and throwing a small smile at Liam, as if it was alright, as if it wasn’t bothering her at all. “It’s okay, bean, it doesn’t matter.”

“Okay… “ Clearly, it did matter at least a little bit, but honestly, Liam wasn’t so keen on talking about it, or even thinking about it because the more he heard the more did he dislike this guy, but it didn’t really matter any way because he was interrupted by a yawn.

“Maybe you should sleep some more, you look really tired.” He also felt really tired, and as if his head would explode any second, but of course Liam couldn’t really say that, instead rubbing at one of his eyes, trying to keep it together. “You can lie down if you want, I don’t mind.”

“It’s okay, I can-“

“No, that’s really uncomfortable, come on.” What Niall wanted was for Liam to put his head in her lap, and thank god his cheeks had already been flushed before because it would have surely not gotten any better through Niall petting her thighs, as if she really wanted this to happen. Of course that wasn’t her motivation behind it, but… sometimes Liam didn’t really have too much inner strength to control his own thoughts. “C’mere.”

Just because he knew he didn’t really have any reason not to do this, Liam made sure to get a pillow from behind, putting it on Niall’s lap before lying down, trying not to enjoy this too much, but her hand immediately went back into his hair and her smile was really soft. One thing was for sure, Liam would definitely not be able to fall asleep like this, even if he felt kinda tired, but having Niall playing with and stroking his hair and her other hand resting near his face, occasionally brushing his cheek with her thumb, was way too distracting.

Liam tried though, he closed his eyes when Niall ordered him to do it, laughing a bit at her for being so bossy and the girl pretended to be mad, only gently pulling on his hair before immediately causing Liam’s laughter to die down as she kissed his forehead all of a sudden, something he would have usually done, and to make matters even worse, she didn’t even fully pull away as she talked. “Stop laughing and go to sleep, bean… I love you.”

“Love you too, babe… thanks for… being here.” And for almost giving Liam a heart attack, but he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way anyways. 

It wasn’t like Liam immediately fell asleep, actually, he wasn’t sure if he ever really slept at all or was just napping a bit, occasionally hearing the TV even though Niall had turned the volume down pretty low, or feeling her fingers still playing with his hair, her thumb rubbing over his cheek as if she had already forgotten about it. For a while, Liam was able to forget everything else that was going on, how differently this day would have been had he not fallen ill, how nothing Niall had said or done really meant anything in the long run because Liam knew he would be the one to get hurt in the end, but it still felt nice, pretending like none of that was real for now. 

After a while, Liam faintly heard keys in the door lock, not really thinking about what this meant though, instead groaning just a little bit, turning more to his side and towards Niall, the girl’s hand covering his ear, maybe because she thought he was genuinely deep asleep and was trying to quieten out the sounds for him. Well, it did work to some extent, but Liam was still well aware that it was Louis coming home and since he didn’t feel all that great, he suddenly didn’t even care anymore what his friend would think about any of this. Whatever, he’d probably be happy for him anyways or something. 

“Hey, Nialler, what-… oh, it’s Liam, I thought it’s-“

“Shhh, he’s sleeping. And he’s sick.” Niall was whispering for whatever reason, still covering one of Liam’s ears with her hand and the boy tried his hardest not to smile, suppressing a shudder when he thought about who Louis had just mistaken him for. God, if Niall ever brought that boy home and Liam would see them lying on the couch like this, he’d probably… jump out of his window or something. 

“Why’s he sick?” Louis sounded confused, also trying to keep his voice quiet now even though Liam was only pretending to be asleep, and if he hadn’t, he would have surely woken up by now seeing how much noise the other boy was making taking off his shoes and locking the door. Okay, maybe it was weird not to say something, but Liam felt genuinely tired and worn out and talking or opening his eyes seemed like the worst idea in the entire word right now. Also because then Niall would have stopped touching him and stroking his hair. 

“I don’t know… he said because he was out running for so long last night… why didn’t you and Harry tell him to come back sooner? It was raining and he’s got a fever.” Was Niall honestly pissed at _them_? God, hopefully Louis wouldn’t start blaming her as well because honestly, it was Liam’s own fault for having stayed out so long and no one else’s.

“We tried calling him but he didn’t pick up his phone, so… we thought he’d only be gone for an hour or so. Reminds me, there’s cake in the fridge if you want some.” Right, of course Liam hadn’t eaten any of that, also wasn’t really planning on it either because he’d probably throw it up all over himself. 

“Okay, thanks… d’you wanna eat something normal later? I’ve only made breakfast for me and Liam but that was a few hours ago and I don’t know if he can really eat anything, or if he should.” Somehow Niall managed to never miss a beat while threading her fingers through Liam’s hair, it was really comforting, even though the boy got slightly nervous when he heard Louis sitting down on the armchair, apparently planning on staying here. 

“Yeah, sure, I haven’t really eaten today anyways… but aren’t you gonna leave later? I thought Liam mentioned some date… “ Oh god, did Louis honestly have to tell Niall that?! Liam felt himself tensing up just slightly, not knowing whether Niall had wanted anybody else to know that she had been supposed to go on another date.

“No, I… I cancelled, because I didn’t want to leave him alone and… I don’t wanna be out if Liam’s sick.” She didn’t sound upset at all, her voice still sounding genuine and her hand not stopping her movements so Liam assumed that it was alright, managing to relax once more. “We went on a date yesterday anyways… “

“How was it? You really gotta introduce me to that guy, you know, gotta make sure he doesn’t have any wrong intentions with you.” It was a joke obviously, Liam could only imagine what Louis would do if he actually met that guy, it certainly wouldn’t end well. 

“It was good, yeah, uh… I mean, you can meet him if you want, like… but only if you’re not saying anything weird like I think you are.” Niall would never allow Louis to meet that guy, she had told Liam that about 10 times already, right after telling him that _he_ needed to meet him, but Liam honestly didn’t want to, didn’t even want to see him from a ten-meter distance because god knows what he would have done or said to him. 

“Ah, don’t worry, I’d never embarrass you, Nialler.” He let out a rather loud laugh, immediately being shushed by Niall though, her hand pressing down a bit more firmly onto Liam’s ear as if that genuinely helped. But the thought was what counted, right? “You gonna introduce him to Liam though? I mean… not that that guy gets jealous or something, you and Li are pretty close and he’ll probably never get on that level.”

“I don’t know, really… I don’t think that… that it’d be such a good idea, like, I wanted them to meet but uh… he got a little bit upset when I told him I’m cancelling for Liam and I guess I understand but… he knows how much Liam means to me and… that’s never gonna change.” Hearing it again was still very nice, even if Liam wanted to tell Louis to just shut up, but he remained silent, trying not to move too obviously, kinda worried that the other two would start finding it weird that he was able to sleep through all of this. At least Niall had finally realized that making Liam and that guy she liked meet wouldn’t turn out well.

“What if he turns out to be some control freak though, what if he tells you that like… that you gotta choose or something?” Louis really had a talent for making things awkward, didn’t he?

Apparently though, Niall didn’t seem to mind. “Then I’d choose Liam obviously, what kinda question is that?”

“I don’t know, I was just wondering, is all. So you’re not like… deeply in love with that guy?” Okay… maybe Liam was okay with Louis to keep this conversation going for a little bit longer. 

“No, I’m not in love with him at all, I mean… I barely know him since two weeks, I like him, he’s nice and funny and… we get along really well.” Oh, well…. Was it stupid that Liam YET AGAIN felt hope growing inside of him?! He really need to stop that. “It’s just really new to me and I… I’ll just see where it goes, I guess.”

“Okay, but make sure he’s not moving too fast, yeah? Or tell me or Liam if he’s doing stuff you don’t like and we’ll kick his face in or something.” Liam would do more than just kick that guy’s face in if he only ever just made Niall frown. 

“I… I will, yeah, thanks, Lou, uh… “ Clearly, Niall was surprised by how serious Louis had sounded, probably not having expected him to care that much, but Liam actually wasn’t surprised at all. Louis cared about Niall as well, and obviously he seemed to be obsessed with the idea of Liam and Niall being together and honestly… what could Liam have done to stop him? He didn’t even want to stop him in the first place, especially because Louis and Niall weren’t even fighting or teasing each other right now. 

“No problem, you’re like my baby sis and you’re Liam’s, well… pretty much everything, so.” Maybe that had gone a bit far but… it was true nevertheless. “I think I’ll go make something to eat now, what d’you want?”

“I… I don’t mind, whatever’s there, I guess. And something that maybe won’t make Liam puke.” Niall’s voice had somehow changed, probably because she hadn’t expected Louis to be so nice to her all of a sudden and honestly it got Liam feeling a little bit weird because he was aware of the reason for this, Louis was trying really hard here to play match maker between Niall and Liam, even though it seemed to already be too late anyways.

After the older boy was gone, Liam could hear him rummaging through the kitchen, feeling as if though ‘waking up’ would have been highly appropriate by now, but somehow he couldn’t get himself to when Niall made sure to pull the blanket up higher, made sure he was fully covered with it before straight going back to stroke Liam’s hair, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead before getting herself into a different position as well. Honestly, Liam felt like crap, still, and he knew that conversation Niall had just had with Louis wasn’t gonna change anything at all, but… the fact that the girl had been so certain when she had said that she wasn’t even in love with this guy and that she’d pick Liam over him any day was… a lot more comforting to Liam than he would have liked.

 

\-------------------

 

Niall was worried about Liam pretty much the whole day long, especially when he was asleep for hours with his head in her lap and the girl just didn’t have the heart to wake him even when she had to pee really badly or when Louis had made them some food. He could really need the rest though, it’d hopefully make him feel better once he woke up because Niall wasn’t sure if there was anything worse to witness than Liam feeling terrible. 

Her conversation with Louis before had been slightly weird, but the boy never brought it back up after that, just sat down with them in the living room for a while, Liam still sleeping and Niall trying to eat, somehow not minding at all that that was how her day was going instead of going on a date. She had kinda missed Liam, something she really noticed now that he was using her as a pillow, and maybe Niall should have been worried about how nice it felt to be able to be there for him and do something that usually went the other way around, but somehow she wasn’t at all. 

When Liam did finally move, Louis had already disappeared in his room, having asked Niall some more cryptic questions regarding her dates and everything, but the girl pretty much had forgotten about all of that the second she felt her best friend stirring. 

“Li…? You awake?” She was half whispering, running her fingers through the boy’s hair, her legs already feeling a little bit stiff but not enough as to where she would have wished Liam would move away. 

“Hmmm… yeah… “ His voice was sleepy and groggy, almost making Niall smile because he was quite cute after waking up, trying to pull the blanket tighter around himself. Not a very good sign though, it only meant he was still feel cold. “How… how long was I asleep for?”

“Hmm, like 2 hours or so? I’m not really sure. Are you feeling any better, bean?” Sneaking a hand on his forehead, Niall wasrelieved that he hadn’t gotten any warmer, but he had definitely also not cooled down and judging by the coughs that were escaping him right after talking, Liam was far from being healthy again. Well, Niall would have skipped all her classes for him if he still wasn’t better by Monday, she couldn’t leave him alone, could she?

“Kinda… ‘m still tired though… “ Despite what he had said, Liam was suddenly moving to sit up a bit and though Niall wasn’t too happy about that idea, she let him, keeping her eyes on his face at all times though, watching as he rubbed at his eyes once he was leaning against the back of the couch, body turned towards hers though, his face all soft and sleepy and Niall almost got a strange urge to kiss his puffy lips right now. Bad idea, really bad idea. 

“Do you wanna sleep some more? Or eat something? Louis cooked and we left you some. Oh, and maybe you should take the medicine again as well.” Not that Niall knew how many times he had to take that, but she was trying really hard to be responsible and everything, make sure Liam knew that he could count on her. 

“I… I don’t think I really wanna eat something, but thanks… I’m just glad if I can keep in water to be honest.” He must have been feeling a whole lot more terrible than he let on, his face pale and yet he tried to smile and Niall suppressed a sigh. God knows what would have happened if she hadn’t been here to watch Liam, he would have probably tried to make himself believe it was a good idea to go outside in that state or something, like, not that he was irresponsible, but Liam always kinda tended to put down his own needs. 

Though Niall felt like Liam should have eaten something, or at least tried, she let him be, made sure to get him a new glass of water so he could swallow the medicine, relieved when he took the other stuff too even though it was gross and his face scrunched up, making the girl laugh a little bit, somehow having taken up a new hobby of fixing and touching Liam’s hair. It was just so soft and he didn’t seem to mind at all, so… “D’you wanna go lie in bed or something? You look like you’ll pass out… and your eyes are a bit red too… “

“Yeah, I… maybe I will, uh… “ He seemed unsure, his cheeks turning the tiniest bit more pink as Niall’s finger gently stroked underneath his eye. “But… is all the stuff still in the washing machine?”

“Oh… shit, yeah it is.” Niall had completely forgotten about that, almost wanting to facepalm herself but resisting in favor of touching Liam’s arm instead. Well, luckily they had more than one bed, right? “Just lie in my bed then, it’s fine, you can stay the whole night as well if you want, like… maybe that’s better anyways, right? Like, if you need something or if anything happens then I’m right there.”

“But I… I really don’t wanna infect you or-“

“Li, it’d be too late already anyways, wouldn’t it? It’s fine, I promise, I kinda… I don’t think I’d be able to sleep very well anyways if I’m not sure you’re alright, so… “ The girl really meant it, she wasn’t trying to like, talk it pretty or something, pretend like she was immune to getting whatever Liam had, but for some reason, she wanted him in her bed tonight, even if a voice in her head kept telling her it was wrong, to sleep in bed with another guy when she was kinda seeing somebody else, but… this was different, wasn’t it? This was her best friend, nothing more, she couldn’t just stop being so close to Liam just because she knew some other guy, that would have made no sense at all. 

“You… you’re really cute, you know?” There was a small smile on Liam’s lips, and Niall had no idea why it seemed to make him so ridiculously happy that she cared about him, but she felt her cheeks getting slightly hotter, which usually didn’t happen like that when Liam complimented her, but maybe it had been the soft look in his eyes.

“Yeah, whatever.” Rolling her eyes to distract from her blushed cheeks, Niall tried to quickly change the subject by once again offering Liam some more food, not failing to notice though how somehow they had moved closer to each other, how her hand had yet again ended up on top of the boy’s once more, fingers almost linking but not really. Why did it feel so different, so much more natural and comfortable to be this close to Liam than to anybody else?

Since the boy had to yawn like every five minutes, Niall made sure to send Liam to her bed rather quickly, making sure he actually stayed there and telling him to go to sleep before she quickly left the room to put his bed clothes up to dry, take a quick shower and brush her teeth because she was pretty sure they wouldn’t leave her room anymore anyways. Actually, Liam had wanted to take a shower too, but the girl hadn’t allowed him to get back up once he had gotten underneath her blanket and to Niall’s surprise, Liam had immediately given in. 

Liam was already half asleep when Niall came back, carefully closing her door, a stupidly big smile spreading on her lips when a very sleepy Liam reached an arm out for her, mumbling something about how he was really cold even though he didn’t really look like it right now. 

It wasn’t late at all, but Niall simply lied down with the boy, not minding the fact that she’d just be lying there wide awake because it felt so nice to have Liam cuddling up to her when it was usually her who did that, just happy that she got to maybe make him feel a tiny bit better, that he seemed to be so damn thankful that she had stayed with him instead of going out as if he didn’t even know that he would always be Niall’s number one anyways.

Still though, lying there like this, knowing exactly that what she had with Liam was something she’d never ever find again, kinda caused Niall to almost worry once the boy had fallen asleep on her. Like, what if she’d never find someone who she felt this comfortable with? The boy she was seeing was really nice and everything, and he had texted her before, somewhat apologizing for getting mad at her but…

Would anybody ever get on this level? And if Niall would be in a serious relationship, which she kinda really wanted, would she even be able to stop being this close to Liam? Like, where was the line she couldn’t cross? Where she’d have to reject her best friend even though she had never felt as safe and comfortable around anyone as Liam and it kinda was a problem Niall saw arising now that she was lying there with nothing to do anyways.

Holding Liam’s hand felt more natural and also better than holding the other boy’s hand, so what if… what if he kissed her and then Niall would find out that she preferred kissing Liam as well? What if literally everything they did would never be better than what her and Liam had, how the bloody hell would she ever stop comparing everyone to her best friend?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, thanks for reading! :D i hope you all enjoyed the chapter, let me know if you did (and also if you didnt i think haha)!
> 
> also, idk how many more chapters are to come im horrible with that, but ill let you guys know when i think the end is near!


	8. Chapter 8

Niall and Liam basically spent all weekend together doing nothing at all, not really being able to since the boy was feeling poorly for another day at least, but somehow, Liam wouldn’t have wanted to do anything else anyways. He was just glad to get the girl all to himself, not even having her run off to facetime this other guy, barely ever mentioning him actually, except for when she would quickly text him, but Liam had gotten pretty good at ignoring that.

Somehow, even though he knew it was stupid, he kinda wished he could have been sick for a bit longer, because Niall had already announced she’d skip uni for him and Liam hadn’t complained half as much as he should have. But of course, it never really came to that because he felt a whole ton better by Monday morning, skipping only his first lecture to see whether it’d wear off or not, not able to convince Niall to leave without him and a part in him was enjoying the hell out of it.

Liam knew that the girl would probably make up for that date she had cancelled, but having gotten her to himself for a whole weekend, having her baby him basically 24/7 and forcing him to sleep in her bed and making him soup and tea, the boy didn’t feel all that terrible anymore thinking about her meeting up with another guy. Of course that feeling was only temporary, he was still jealous as hell and if anything else other than holding hands happened between Niall and that boy Liam would probably lose his shit completely, but for the moment, he didn’t feel quite as bad as he had during the last two weeks.

Uni was pretty long, and it was a Monday too so that was never good, he saw Niall and also Harry and Louis a few times in the hallways but not for very long. Which was kinda alright though, Louis would have probably only kept talking about how Niall had told him she wasn’t in love with the guy she was seeing like he had done every second on the weekend when the girl hadn’t been listening, not knowing that Liam had only been pretending to be asleep during their conversation anyways. Well, and Harry would have only tried to cheer Liam up and pity him at the same time, so none of the things Liam really wanted to talk about or be confronted with. 

Still, he was pretty glad when he finally got home, even if it only lasted momentarily. 

Liam almost fell over Niall’s shoes as he walked into the flat, he would have probably been annoyed had it been Louis’, but seeing as it were his best friend’s, he felt relieved for some reason. Luckily she wasn’t hanging out with that boy, she probably would be later, but for now, Liam got to see her for a little bit and he felt pretty happy about that. “Hey, Nialler.”

“Hey… are you feeling okay?” She was in her room, going through her closet, or maybe trying to sort it out, Liam wasn’t quite sure, all he knew was that he kinda liked the way she seemed to be so concerned about his health.

“Yeah, ‘m good, everything’s fine. You?” Just because Niall seemed kinda busy anyways, Liam went to sit on her bed as she continued to tear out clothes and then fold them back up. Maybe she was looking for something to wear for a date or something, she did still have the clothes on she had put on this morning and had she asked Liam, he would have told her there was no reason at all to change her appearance.

“I’m good too… just looking for something to wear and I haven’t cleaned my closet in like ten years.” The girl huffed, making Liam smile because there had never not been a day where Niall’s closet hadn’t been a complete mess. “I found like, ten shirts that belong to you and two sweaters that belong to Louis and I somehow found one of Harry’s button ups? I’d never wear any of his clothes, I bet Louis slept with it or something and put it in the laundry bag.”

“Do you need any help sorting that out?” It seemed like she did, and Liam had helped her before as well, especially when they had been younger, they had often cleaned their rooms together because it had been much more fun than doing it alone. 

“Hmm… no, I think I’ll manage, thanks, bean.” Turning around quickly, she threw a smile at Liam before simply pulling out a random shirt, trying to somehow close the doors afterwards, needing both her hands and her foot as well. “I gotta leave in like ten minutes anyways, I’ll do it tonight, I guess.”

“Oh… are you… going on a date?” Liam had immediately felt his stomach drop, but he had gotten rather good at acting like nothing was wrong, so he hoped Niall wouldn’t notice, feeling his cheeks turning hot as she started to undress herself while basically standing next to him, barely making sure to turn around. 

“No, I… wait.” She was obviously struggling with her clothes, but Liam felt way too hot and blushed as to turn around and check, also not wanting to invade her privacy or something, even though he knew that Niall probably wouldn’t have cared anyways. It’s not like she was naked, just… in her bra. “I’ve got like… an appointment.”

“Where?” That was… slightly strange.

“At the doctor’s.” Wait… was that Liam’s fault? Was she ill now, because she had been taking care of him?

“Wait… are you feeling sick, did I like… infect your or something? ‘cos if I did then-“

“No you didn’t, it’s fine, Li, it’s… not that kinda doctor, you know.” Clearly, Liam was an idiot because he didn’t get it, he just blinked a bit at the girl once she was done changing, watching her trying to sort out her hair a bit in front of the mirror, her cheeks somehow having gotten slightly red as well. What was going on?

“What… what kinda doctor is it? Like… a dentist, or…. “ Surely, she wouldn’t have to blush over going to the dentist, would she? Liam was still worried about her though, like, no one goes to the doctor because of nothing, do they?

“No, it’s like… you know, uh… “ Somehow, Niall seemed to be struggling with words once she had turned around, kinda avoiding Liam’s eyes and the boy sitting on the bed just kept getting more confused and worried with the seconds passing by, until suddenly, he wasn’t anymore. “It’s a… gynecologist.”

“Oh… “ _Oh_ indeed, at least now the blush in Liam’s face was appropriate, not that it should’ve been weird for them to talk about this, they were grown adults after all and everything but… they weren’t really talking about those kinda things that much. Somehow though, Liam was incredibly relieved to know that it wasn’t something… serious. Well, it still could have been, but judging by Niall’s face, she was simply nervous, which was probably appropriate. “Is everything, uh… okay?”

“ _Oh_ , indeed… and yeah, everything’s fine, just… checkups, y’know.” She shrugged a bit, trying a smile even though it didn’t really come through that well and Liam didn’t really know what to say, so instead, he just blurted out with the weirdest thing ever.

“Do you… want me to come?” Just because it probably wasn’t a lot of fun and she seemed to be nervous and obviously Liam would wait for her outside, but… maybe it’d help if she didn’t have to go alone, right? 

“Um… I don’t know… if you… if you want to, I mean… “ Niall seemed slightly unsure, but not completely turned down by the idea, just surprised if anything, and somehow, Liam was surprised by himself as well. Then again, Niall was his best friend, of course he’d come if it made her feel better, like, that was out of question. 

“I’d understand if you don’t wanna go alone, so… but I’d also understand if you do… “ It was completely up to her, Liam wasn’t even really thinking about that he should have probably been happy that Niall was just going to the doctor’s instead of meeting up with that guy, but judging by the look on her face and the way she was biting on her thumb nail made it pretty clear that this wasn’t something she was looking forward to doing. 

“Well… if you… if you wouldn’t mind coming…” Shrugging a bit, Niall shifted her weight from one foot to the other and Liam took it as a hint, also how slow her words had come out, kinda unsure but also with a little bit of a smile. “But we, uh… we’d have to leave right away, ‘cos-“

“Yeah, that’s fine, let’s go.” Getting up, Liam was still flushed and feeling slightly weird, but the smile Niall threw at him made up for it entirely. He was really happy to help her, even if it was something like that, it wasn’t exactly a big deal to Liam, right? He’d just keep her company and they’d get to spend time together, so… 

“Thanks, Li… “ Niall noticeably relaxed as she picked up her bag, lightly bumping her arm into Liam’s as they walked out of her room and though the boy was very well aware that Niall would probably still meet up with that other guy tonight or tomorrow and that them going to the doctor’s together wasn’t exactly equally as good, it was something. 

They had to take the bus of course, and it was kinda nice because even though Liam was tired and even though maybe this was a little bit awkward, they just talked about normal things on their way, some uni homework and some exams coming up, and honestly, Liam was a bit nervous for Niall as well once they were in the waiting room, even though the girl seemed to have calmed down a bit. 

Liam really tried his hardest not to think about what exactly she’d have to go through in there because she probably wouldn’t have wanted to talk about it anyways, so the boy tried his hardest to somehow talk about the most random things, just to distract her a little bit, almost so into it that he was about to ask her whether she wanted to do something else once this was over, a little bit also because maybe she hadn’t made plans with that other boy yet, but sadly, he was interrupted. 

“Hey, maybe we could-“

“Niall Horan?” Liam immediately stopped talking when Niall’s name was called and the girl noticeably tensed up next to him.

“Yeah, I’m… coming.” She shook her head for a moment and Liam attempted to throw a smile at her, brushing her arm for a moment even though it probably wasn’t helping her at all. Having Liam sitting out here wasn’t gonna change the fact that she had to do this, and sadly, he couldn’t really help her with that even if he really wanted to. “See you… in a bit.”

“Yeah… good luck.” Was that appropriate to say? At least it got Niall smiling for the flicker of a second before she left, leaving Liam to sit with a ton of other people while trying not to draw any attention on himself or act in a strange way. Not that it genuinely mattered, this was just a doctor’s waiting room, but it did occur to Liam that everyone in here probably thought that they were dating and he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to like that idea because of the situation they were in, but somehow he did. It did feel kinda boyfriend-like to come along to _that_ kinda doctor, didn’t it?

 

\----------

 

When Niall was _finally_ fully dressed again, her face was still kinda flushed as she walked back out into the waiting room, on one hand really relieved that she wouldn’t have to come back for a few months, on the other hand still kinda embarrassed. Like, of course this was totally normal, but the girl was pretty sure that no one ever really got used to that, even if having somebody as sweet as Liam coming along to the fucking gynecologist had helped a whole lot. There genuinely was nothing he wouldn’t do for Niall and it was very comforting to know that.

“Hey… let’s go.” Niall didn’t really stop in front of Liam once she was out, the boy’s head having immediately snapped up, a relieved expression crossing his face, as if he had been worried about her or something. For which there was no reason to honestly, it had just been a regular checkup, and anyways, if one of them had to be worried, it was Niall, because just yesterday her best friend had still been kinda feverish and that was basically everything she had been thinking about all day except for that doctor’s visit of course. She had known about it for weeks obviously, but she had kinda been… pushing it to the back of her head.

“How… how’d it go?” Liam was whispering, as if he wasn’t allowed to ask and Niall couldn’t help but chuckle as they left the building together, a whole lot of pressure having been lifted off of the girl’s shoulders. 

“Well… except for the fact that I was almost naked ninety percent of time… nothing’s wrong.” It had been kinda uncomfortable though, and even though Niall’s doctor was really nice, it didn’t change the fact that no one else had ever… touched her in any of these places except for herself. 

“Okay… that’s good… right?” The brunette boy was so cute, always trying not to say something wrong and Niall just threw a smile at him in order to calm him down, almost reaching out for his hand when she suddenly realized that that would have been a bit… awkward maybe, now that she was seeing some other guy but… it didn’t really change the fact that she still kinda wanted to hold her best friend’s hand for some reason. Like, what if she’d never get to hold it again? And she hadn’t even known the last time that she had.

“It is… I just don’t like… the questions I’m getting asked and all the touching and… it’s terrible, really.” There was one thing Niall wouldn’t tell Liam, even though she didn’t know why but maybe it was because she didn’t want him to think she was gonna have sex next time she had a date, but she had asked about the pill and well… that was fine, right? She could ask these things, even if nothing was going to happen for a long time.

“What questions?” Obviously, Liam had no fucking clue about anything and it was kinda adorable, they were walking down the street next to each other, away from the bus stop and Niall didn’t know why but she didn’t feel like saying anything. They had nothing to do for the rest of the day, they didn’t immediately have to go home, right?

“Like… whether I’m sexually active and stuff.” Trying to play it down, Niall quickly rubbed her cheek when she felt it getting hot, inconveniently enough bumping into her best friend on accident but refusing to look up.

“Oh… right.” It almost sounded like Liam was gonna add something, a question, and it’d be a lie to say that Niall didn’t know what it would have been even though the boy swallowed it down, but for some reason, she still felt like clarifying this for whatever reason, not wanting him to think that she was sleeping with someone who she only knew since two weeks.

“I… I’m not… if you were wondering, I mean, I… yeah.” Oh god, that had been so dumb, like of course Niall would have told Liam if she had had sex, he was her best friend, but it probably wasn’t going to happen in the next few months and honestly, she already felt nervous just thinking about that it might and yet she still wanted to know what it was like at the same time. A weird combination.

“Okay… “ Was all Liam said to that before clearing his throat, both of them clearly trying to avoid each other’s eyes, and thank _god_ Liam was really good at switching the topic because Niall might have died of embarrassment otherwise. “Do you wanna… get something to eat? Like, are you hungry ‘cos I am and-“

“Yeah, sure, let’s go.” Niall had kinda interrupted her friend, but she had just been desperate to get away from their previous conversation and also… she was pretty damn hungry to be honest. “I’m starving, actually.”

“Good, I’ll invite you.” It was a very Liam-like thing to say and Niall already had her mouth open to protest as she turned her head towards him, about to tell him that it was fine, that she got money as well, but before she could even think of anything to say, the boy had been quicker. “You also paid when you went to the store for me on Saturday.”

“Because you were sick, Li. And anyways, you just went to the doctor’s with me, so actually I owe you something for-“

“Then just do me the favor, okay?” The girl knew that if she tried long enough, Liam would eventually give in, but his smile was so sweet and his eyes were so soft and somehow Niall couldn’t really think clearly anymore looking at his face, his arm coming up to wrap around her as a grin spread on his lips, knowing that he had won anyways. “Thanks, Nialler.”

“I hate you… “ Niall muttered, almost stumbling a little bit when Liam pulled her in closer and briefly kissed the top of her head and even though she had just been joking, she still immediately felt guilty for what she had said. “But you’re still the best and… thanks for coming with me.”

“Anytime, babe.” His laugh was really happy, carefree, as if before hadn’t even happened and Niall couldn’t help but fully relax against him as well. God, what’d she do without Liam?

Them going to eat something was kinda like those dates Niall had gone on, but she only realized it once they were already eating, at a similar place she had gone to with that other guy, but the difference was that she wasn’t nervous at all, wasn’t scared of saying something wrong, something that wasn’t funny, or of making a fool out of herself by getting food onto her clothes. Her and Liam had done this so often, had gone out to eat by themselves, had gone to the movies and to the zoo, pretty much everywhere a date could have possibly taken place and Niall didn’t know why, but she had never noticed any of that until today.

Had never noticed how often they touched, seemingly on accident, how their legs would brush underneath the table and neither of them really pulled away, how Liam would let her eat off his fork so she could try his food as well, how time seemed to fly by just like that even though she really didn’t want it to because she was really enjoying herself. Was it wrong that Niall felt her phone vibrate in her pockets a few times, knowing who it was and yet she didn’t even bother to pull it out and check the messages?

“…now you have to try mine as well, it’s really good, I promise.” They were already at dessert, pretty much alone at the whole place and somewhere in the corner and it reminded Niall a lot of when they had been younger and had been obsessed with this burger place down the street. Only now, it suddenly made the girl think whenever Liam’s hand would rest on top of her’s, even though he had done that millions of times and Niall didn’t and would never mind it, it was just… none of this touching had ever happened on the real dates she had gone on and maybe they weren’t even supposed to just… this right here was a lot more like she had always believed a date would go.

“I don’t like fruits though.” Liam’s face scrunched up, he had just made Niall try his ice cream but was kinda refusing when the girl held her fork towards him with a piece of cake on it, chuckling because the boy was honestly acting a bit like a child. Well, he was the one paying, so he was allowed to, and also, he was kinda cute whenever he pulled a bit of a face anyways.

“I know, but you can barely taste them, I promise, c’mon.” Niall didn’t really like fruit either, she actually didn’t know how she had even ended up with that dessert, but it was fairly good and also, she kinda enjoyed making Liam eat off of her fork for some reason.

The brunette boy gave in fairly easy, still looking as if he was scared as he allowed the girl to feed him, chewing for a few seconds before pretending that it had been the worst thing he had ever eaten in his life. Of course. “God… that’s _disgusting_ , do you want me to order you something else?”

“Oh, come on, Li, it’s really good, I like it.” Rolling her eyes over his behavior, Niall had to actually try really hard not to smile as she saw Liam grinning at her, of course having felt the need to over exaggerate his reaction. Had Niall done that on any of the dates she had been on, she was pretty sure that that kinda humor would have only gotten her a very weird look. 

“Are you sure? Maybe you’ve already got food poisoning and don’t know what you’re talking about anymore.” Liam pretended to be really worried for a moment, his eyes going wide and Niall had to playfully swat his arm to get his smirk to come back.

“You’re such a dork, Payno.” Yeah, that was the worst possible insult Niall managed to come up with and it only made Liam laugh and the girl couldn’t even pretend to be annoyed because she was busy staring at her best friend, the way his eyes crinkled up and how he sounded so happy and carefree, as if he could have thought of nothing better to do than to sit here with Niall after having kept her company at the doctor’s and after being sick all weekend and after a day full of classes that had surely left him tired as hell. And yet they were here and the girl caught herself wishing they could have stayed longer, spent more time together even though they had literally spent years living on top of each other and yet two weeks of not being around each other 24/7 had managed to throw Niall off track. What’d she do if one of them moved out, like honestly? How would she even be in a relationship with anybody when that automatically meant she’d see Liam at least ten times less than she normally did?

“Thanks, Nialler, now I definitely won’t let you have any more of my ice cream.” He was almost finished anyways and Niall knew that if she had just tried to look the slightest bit apologetic he would have simply given her everything he had left, but instead the girl just lightly shook her head at him, not being able to get that fond smile to go away and of course Liam noticed. “What?”

“Nothing, just… you’re cute.” Shrugging, Niall finished her cake before leaning back a bit, her leg still touching Liam’s underneath the table and she had no idea why but the boy’s cheeks turned pink after what she had said. He always blushed though whenever she made him compliments and Niall had never really thought anything of it, some people just got embarrassed easily when somebody said something nice, right? “I… I wish we would be doing this more often.”

“Do what?” Liam sounded just slightly breathless, having stopped eating as well, the mood clearly having shifted from silly to being slightly more serious, which was Niall’s fault, but she had just been thinking and it kinda made her sad to think about going home and going to sleep in her own room and just… she missed Liam, which was silly, but it was the truth. 

“Like… just hang out, you know, just… you and me, like… I know it’s my fault that we kinda didn’t lately, but… maybe I gotta get checkups more often.” It was supposed to be a joke, because Niall had started feeling stupid halfway through, but Liam wasn’t really laughing so the girl pretty much felt like an idiot. Why had she just told him that? It was _her_ fault that they hadn’t hung out, and actually, she shouldn’t even feel bad about it because she had been on dates with a guy she liked…. Right?

“Ni… “ Liam’s expression was really weird after he had hesitated for a moment, clearly not knowing what to say and the girl felt her cheeks going hot as she stared down at the table, wishing she hadn’t just ruined the damn mood. But it was the truth after all, and usually they could always talk about everything, so why would this be different? “It’s not your fault, you know, I mean… you were busy doing other things and that’s okay, like… you can do whatever you want.”

“I know, just… I don’t know, it’s stupid, I… we see each other every day but I kinda still miss you, is that weird? I mean… it was my own decision to go on these dates and stuff, but like… I really enjoyed them and he’s really nice and stuff, but… “ Yeah, but what? Niall didn’t know what was wrong with her, she had really enjoyed the dates and she liked the boy she was seeing, but after having been with Liam the whole weekend and being with him now was like… really showing her what her best friend had that the other guy didn’t have and it was a weird thing to think about. 

“But what?” Of course Liam had started to sound worried, his hand moved over Niall’s on the table, seemingly by accident, but he just left it there and it was somehow really calming, even if it didn’t exactly give her enough courage to lift her head. “He’s not like… doing stuff you don’t want, right? I never really asked, but you know that you can tell me, right? Just in case.”

“No, he’s not… not doing anything at all, bean, don’t worry, we’ve not done anything except for holding hands anyways, but… thank you, really.” It was cute that Liam had gotten worried, even though that was not at all what was bothering Niall, like to be honest, she didn’t even know what was bothering her herself. “It’s just… you know how I always wanted to go on dates and I always wanted to like… have someone who’s interested in me and now I kinda do and I… I like him and stuff, but at the same time I’m like… I’m worried because what if… what if it does get like… _serious_ and then… and then everything would change, like… between us as well and then one day eventually once you’ve got someone too, we’ll barely see each other and… I never really… thought that would happen, y’know? And it’s kinda scary and I do miss you and I just… I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, Nialler, hey… you’re not immediately moving out and getting married, are you? And you’re always gonna be my best friend, no matter what happens or who either of us is with and I’ll always make time to see you, I promise, okay? And I know you really wanted to know what all of this feels like and I’m happy that you finally do and that someone likes you for who you are.” Liam was being so ridiculously cute and sweet that Niall felt her stomach twisting into knots, looking up briefly just to meet his soft eyes, see the small smile on his lips, his hand lightly squeezing her’s. There was no way Niall could tell him that maybe she had been expecting too much of all of this, that maybe she hadn’t really been missing out on anything after all because every time she had been somewhere with Liam, it had somehow been a better date than the real ones. But what in god’s name should the girl make of this knowledge?

“Thanks, Li… you’re always gonna be my best friend too, I… I was just thinking, is all. I… I know it’s not like I’ll marry the first guy I meet, just… maybe I’m rushing into it? I didn’t really think about this before, but like… we’ve only known each other for about two weeks, which is like… nothing at all, and yet I’m already thinking about maybe it’ll get serious even though I’m not like… in love with him or something, and if… if you hadn’t kissed me then maybe I would have already tried kissing him just because I’d wanna know what it’s like and… and before at the doctor’s I even asked about the pill and I don’t even know why.” Right, this had gotten a bit far off topic, but somehow the words were just falling out of Niall’s mouth now, half of the things not even having occurred to her before she had said them and suddenly she was really questioning this whole thing. 

“Babe, it’s okay to think about these things, okay? And to wonder what it’s like, but if you feel like you’re rushing into it then… then maybe you should slow down a bit, only so you don’t regret it in the end and I know you wanna know what it’s like being in a relationship and that’s normal, but… if you’re really not that sure then maybe… maybe you should wait a bit, see where it goes, before you, you know… have sex or something.” It weren’t only Niall’s cheeks that had gotten a bit red, Liam’s also had more color than usually but his voice still sounded kinda firm but also very soft, as if he really did know exactly what Niall was rambling about when she didn’t even really know it herself. Why the hell had she just told him that she had thought about sleeping with somebody who she wasn’t in love with? 

“Yeah, I know, just… I never really thought any of this would happen and now… now this whole situation is so different than I thought and… I’m really glad you kissed me before anyone else because ‘m pretty sure that… that it’d be a lot different with someone else.” More than that, Liam had been so gentle and so aware of how nervous Niall had been and she trusted the boy 100%, just… how’d she ever trust anybody else like that who she barely even knew? And why was it that deep down she was certain that it’d never even be half as good? “But like… it’ll eventually happen, right? And… and I’ll eventually have sex with someone, it’s just… kinda freaking me out because… how’d I know it’s the right guy? And whether… whether what he’s doing is okay? Or whether I’m doing something wrong? And anyways… I don’t know even know what I’m saying anymore, this was actually not at all what I even wanted to say, I’m sorry.” 

“No, don’t be sorry, Nialler, we can talk about anything you want, yeah? No matter what it is.” He was still kinda holding her hand, facial expression somehow having changed to something else, but only for the split of a second, not giving Niall a chance to figure out what might have been going through Liam’s head right now. 

Niall should have just told Liam about her real worries, should have just said ‘Hey, listen, I really miss you and I’m kinda scared because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop comparing other guys to you and I’ve been thinking about kissing you since over a month now and the reason why I’m rushing into this whole dating thing is because I was curious but now it’s mostly because I’m trying to tell myself that I’m doing the right thing even though I’m not sure if this is what I want’. But of course, the girl didn’t say anything at all, tried to tell herself yet again that this was what she wanted because she was enjoying it after all and yet… 

“And for…. For future reference, you know… anything that doesn’t feel good or anything you don’t want means he’s doing it wrong, doesn’t only apply to sex, but… pretty much everything.” Clearing his throat a bit, Liam was clearly nervous talking about this, but at the same time he seemed surprised, which made sense like… Niall had done nothing but talk about how great her dates had been and how funny the guy she was seeing was, which was the truth, but maybe, just maybe, she had been saying this stuff also a little bit to convince herself. Not that it was bad or anything, but whenever she was with Liam, he kinda put every other guy she had ever met to shame and the girl had no idea what to do with that. “And if you tell him to stop and he doesn’t then… then you call me and I’ll kill him.”

“Thanks, Li... that’s comforting.” Niall managed half a smile, very aware that they were still kinda holding hands, a little bit disturbed by her own thoughts right now. Was it really necessary that she suddenly couldn’t stop herself from almost coming up with an excuse for Liam to kiss her again, _now_? Or how she had almost made a joke about how he could show her how sex was supposed to be like since he had shown her kissing as well. Niall was going _insane_. “I’ll probably never need any of that anyways, though, like… I might have thought about these kinda things but in the end, I’d probably chicken out. Or he wouldn’t even want to, maybe he doesn’t like me like that, I mean… I don’t really have any feelings for him either.”

“Doesn’t have to be him though, right? It could be anyone one day, you’ve got time, Ni, don’t rush into things, okay?” That was easier said than done to be honest, not that Niall was desperate for it, but it was the same as with the kissing thing, she kinda wanted to know what it was like and for whatever reason she couldn’t help thinking all of a sudden that whatever girls had gotten to sleep with Liam had surely been sent straight to heaven. But she couldn’t like… couldn’t ask him to have _sex_ with her, could she? That would have gone way, way too far, practicing kissing was one thing, but having sex… Niall couldn’t ask for that, shouldn’t even be thinking about it or actually like the thought and yet somehow she did.

“Yeah… I know, just… “ No, she really needed to stop, couldn’t allow herself to hint what it was that had suddenly come to her mind, because it was stupid and it was wrong and they were alone at a fast food place and she shouldn’t have been thinking about anything involving Liam’s lips or his naked body and yet she was. What was even wrong with her, ever since that kiss Niall was thinking in ways about Liam that were more than just inappropriate for best friends, she already had some guy going out with her, why hadn’t that helped her to forget about that kiss and every thought that had come with it? Those two weeks of not spending that much time with Liam seemed to have only increased these kinda feelings.

“Just… what?” Clearly, Liam was confused and Niall suddenly felt really ashamed as she pulled her hand out of his, instead resting it in her own lap, twisting her fingers together as she struggled to find a way to change the topic. Who would have thought that a visit at the gynecologist would get Niall to blurt out with all these stupid things she had tugged away carefully into the back of her head?

“Nothing, I was just… just thinking.” Attempting a smile, the girl suddenly felt very weird, she had been so happy on Saturday waking up after her date, had wanted to immediately tell Liam about it, but now that was like two days ago and her phone was constantly vibrating and she didn’t even bother checking because that would have distracted her from talking to Liam instead. And now to top it all off, she had honestly been thinking about what it would’ve been like to _sleep_ with him. 

“Oh… ‘bout what? You don’t have to tell me, just… I don’t want you to be worried about things, we can talk about it, anything, you know that, right?” The reason why the boy was asking was probably because he thought Niall was still worried about finding the right guy and shit when in reality… he couldn’t have been further off the truth.

“I… “ Opening her mouth, Niall had almost been about to tell Liam that it was nothing, that she was sorry for saying all these weird things, that he didn’t have to worry about her, but for whatever stupid reason, the girl just blinked at him a few times, looked into his soft, brown eyes, saw the gentle expression on his face, knew that he would have done _anything_ for her. And apparently, that was enough to make her lose her damn mind because she just kinda dropped the bomb right then and there. “I just… I was just thinking and I know it’s stupid and I don’t even know why I even came up with it, just… you know when… when I said that sometimes… sometimes I wished that… that it could be us? Like… us being in love and going on dates and… I know that’s weird, sorry if I’m freaking you out, it’s just because… just because you kissed me and because we know each other basically inside out and because I’d trust you with my life and… and I know it’ll be almost impossible to find someone I’d get along with so well and… I was just thinking, you know, that… if I did ever, like… sleep with someone, then… I’d… I’d want it to be with someone who I love and who I trust and… someone I could rely on and I know I got time and I’m stupid for thinking I need to, uh… experience sex just because I’m 20 years old, but it’s like…. it’s like the same as with kissing, I… I really liked kissing you and you were being so sweet and I know that…. that no one else could have made my first kiss any better and… I was just… thinking about it… nothing else.”

The silence following after this was very long, and very uncomfortable, Niall’s face was literally on fire and she was staring holes into her own lap, pretty sure that Liam could actually hear how fast her heart was beating. Why had she included all of that? About them being in love and stuff? Of course that would have been convenient but… that’d never happen, no way, it had been way too much to ask for Liam to kiss her already, Niall was really fucking insane for having implied that… that she would sleep with him just to know what it’s like, maybe he hadn’t even caught on, maybe-

“Did you just… ask me if I’d have sex with you?” Or maybe he had.

 

\--------------

 

Liam couldn’t believe this, not only had Niall been rambling on for minutes, weird things about missing him and about rushing her relationship to that other guy and about how she was unsure and that had already surprised the brunette boy, because well… he had thought that she was happy, that this was what she wanted, to be with this guy or whatever, but to top it all off, she had just implied that she wanted Liam to _sleep_ with her. Either this was a dream or Niall had gone really fucking insane.

“I… I was just, uh… thinking… “ Was all the girl answered, refusing to lift her head for just the tiniest second and Liam was just sitting there opposite of her, staring at her with his jaw dropped and his eyes about to pop out of his head. And he had thought he had gotten lucky being allowed to invite Niall out to eat and spend the rest of the day with her, to just kiss her that one time during the camping trip, and now… now she wanted to sleep with him?! “I mean, I know that… that you don’t want to, like, of course not, I was just-“

“Why?” The boy couldn’t help but interrupt, he wasn’t mad or anything, simply shocked and well… nothing in his head seemed to make any sense anymore, like… how did all of that even fit together? “Why would you… want me to?”

“I don’t know, ‘cos… ‘cos I’m really nervous about it and… it’s the same as with the kiss, like... I’d feel comfortable with you and I trust you and I know that… that you’d never do anything I don’t want you to and… “ So for demonstration purposes yet again, only kissing was one thing, but having sex was… on a whole other level. “But let’s forget that I said anything, okay? I don’t know why… why I just blurted out with that, I’d never ask you for that, I was simply… thinking out loud, you know?”

Liam didn’t answer, just kept on watching Niall picking at the skin next to her thumb and he yet again found himself in a really great dilemma. On one hand, of course he wasn’t opposed to sleeping with Niall, of course he wanted to make sure her first time wouldn’t be with some creep, or that other guy, that didn’t sound very great at all anymore. He didn’t want his best friend to rush into relationships, sleep with someone just to try it and somehow Liam saw where she was coming from and it made him feel a little bit proud, that Niall was actually considering it, that she was ready to _sleep_ with him.

On the other hand though, this was wrong, a lot worse than the kiss because that had just been that, a simple kiss. Now though, Niall was actually seeing someone, and though they weren’t dating or anything, wasn’t it a little bit like cheating? Then again, Niall had said herself that she wasn’t in love with that guy, and in all honesty, it hadn’t sounded like she was about to fall for him, it had sounded more like… more like she was enjoying the attention, the feeling of somebody wanting her and Liam knew that it wasn’t because the girl liked to lead people on, she simply liked the fact that someone was actually interested in her after waiting for so long.

The consequences of sleeping with Niall were going to be a lot worse than Liam was even able to imagine, he had no bloody idea how he’d ever come to terms with himself in case he agreed, how they’d carry on to be normal friends, how he’d ever be able to get over Niall after having literally gotten _everything_ for at least once. But what if he said no though, what if he said no and then in a week Niall would have slept with that other guy, and maybe regret it, maybe he’d be really rough and hurt her, maybe because she was scared to say no because she thought she’d just have to get through it. Liam would have definitely made sure to make it the best he could, just like the kiss, he would have made sure to do only what she wanted, do it slowly and with care and… make sure she’d know that she’d never deserve any less than that.

Could Liam actually do that? After two weeks of having felt like someone had ripped his heart out of his chest, two weeks of having missed Niall, having felt incredibly jealous and as if he was gonna lose the girl? Could he really put aside the fact that he had feelings for her that would probably get even more intense after this, just in favor of showing her? And also… would he be able to live with himself if he said no and have Niall coming to him one day telling him that she had slept with some dude and it had been terrible? 

The kiss wasn’t effecting them either though, they had just carried on normally, and yeah, Liam had really wanted to kiss the girl again, but it hadn’t like… ruined his life or anything, and actually… he lived pretty well knowing that Niall was still thinking about it as well, that she loved and trusted him enough to have done this, so if they did actually have sex because she had wanted to… 

“... Li? ‘m sorry for… for saying all this stuff, please don’t be mad, I was genuinely just thinking about it, nothing else, I was just… “ She sounded worried, probably because Liam had zoned out for a bit having to think about this, their eyes finally meeting and Niall was all flustered and chewing on her bottom lip, clearly embarrassed too and regretting the fact that she had brought this up. Maybe it was the fact that Liam couldn’t really think that clearly whenever he was looking into Niall’s blue eyes that caused him to say something that could have possibly ruined everything for them. 

“I… we can do it, if you… if you’re sure about it and if it’s really what you want then… then I’d do it.” Talk about being whipped.

Immediately, Niall’s head snapped up, her mouth dropping because now it was her turn to be surprised and strangely enough, Liam felt somewhat calm, felt like he had made the right decision for now. She was his best friend, the most important thing in his life, he’d do anything to protect her, anything to make her happy and though he had no idea how they had ended up sitting here on a Monday evening talking about having sex, he would have even done that for her just to make sure she was alright. “Are you… are you being serious?! I was just… I was just thinking, I… I’d never ask you for that, Li, seriously, I’d never want you to do this just because I randomly came up with it, I-“

“We don’t have to, Nialler, I was just saying that… I’d do it, if you really wanted me to, I wouldn’t… mind.” Not minding was a very mild version of what Liam truly felt, on one hand of course liking the idea, on the other hand being fucking terrified. He didn’t think that he was some sort of sex god obviously, knew that one day Niall would sleep with somebody who she was in love with and that it’d be much better for her than it had been with Liam, but he’d try his best to make it incredible for her, also because…. because yeah, the stupid sparks of hope were of course there again. But how could they have not been? After everything Niall had just said, yet again having mentioned that she wished she was in love with Liam, about how she was still thinking about their kiss.

It was Niall’s time to go quiet now, clearly the girl was taken off guard, hadn’t thought Liam would actually agree and he really shouldn’t have but… god damn it, he was hopelessly in love with her and he had just spent two weeks sulking and being jealous as hell, how was he gonna say no if Niall _asked_ him to have sex with her, wanting it to be him above everyone else, even that guy she was seeing? “Only if… only if you promise that… that you wouldn’t mind and that it wouldn’t change anything between us and that… that you wouldn’t regret it.”

“I promise, Ni.” Could he even promise that? Probably not, but Liam had just done it nevertheless, his ears rushing a bit as he thought about what had just happened, their eyes meeting once more and he couldn’t actually even believe what the consequences of any of this would be. Hell, how had Niall even come up with that in the first place?

“Okay… “ She nodded a bit to herself before falling into silence once more and it was kind of a weird feeling, to be sitting there knowing what they had just agreed on doing and Liam almost felt kind of dizzy. He wasn’t regretting the fact that he had agreed, probably would only do it once it was over, but not even that could have kept him from taking it back right now. There was some kinda sparkle in Niall’s eyes, her facial expression changing, clearly relaxing her body from the tense position it had been in and somehow that helped Liam to calm down as well. She wanted this, clearly, or she wouldn’t have told him. 

“So… “ Liam started after a few seconds of silence, not wanting it to be awkward between them now, clearing his throat a bit and attempting something like a smirk. He was insane, both of them were, there was no other way to explain this, no other way to explain why one of them would wanna have their first time with their best friend who they only loved platonically and why the other one would agree even though they were in love with them and would get hurt. “Just to set this straight, does that mean you… you’d rather… snog me than the other guy, yeah?”

“Liam!” Niall’s face was shocked for a moment and Liam laughed even though none of this funny, even though he hadn’t even been joking, had genuinely been asking because the fact that Niall wanted him over somebody he had been jealous of was probably the most satisfying feeling. 

“What? I was just asking.” Because Liam could have also been freaking out instead of trying to lighten the mood, still chuckling when the girl rolled her eyes, the surprise in her face slowly being replaced by a tiny smile. See, maybe things wouldn’t turn out to be weird, maybe they could just have sex and… and nothing would ever change.

Instead of answering, the girl stayed silent for a moment before lifting her arm once more, very slowly covering Liam’s hand that was still on the table, her touch causing goosebumps to rise all up his arm, which was nothing though compared to what he felt when the girl answered in a quiet but genuine voice. “I guess… I guess you could say that.”

They both had lost their minds to be doing and agreeing to these things, there really was no nicer way to put it.

 

\-------------------

 

Niall didn’t know what was wrong with her, or what she had been thinking, asking Liam to have sex with her and then being so surprised that he had agreed that she had admitted how badly she wanted to snog him even though she hadn’t even really thought about that herself. It was just… god, Niall really wanted to kiss Liam again and since they were going to have sex anyways… did it honestly still matter?

Holy shit, she was actually gonna sleep with _Liam_ , and he had just agreed, hadn’t even sounded like he genuinely needed to think about it or as if he hated the idea, he had just… said yes for whatever reason. It was true though, she did rather want to snog Liam than anybody else, had wished it would have been him on those dates with her multiple times, the one holding her hand, but she couldn’t say that, couldn’t tell Liam when she didn’t even know why she was feeling this way herself. She had enjoyed the dates and it felt nice to be wanted, to know that she wasn’t a lost case, but… that didn’t mean she had to immediately fall in love, right? Or that this guy had to be the only person she spent time with.

The way home wasn’t even half as awkward as Niall would have thought after something like this. Actually, it was completely normal, once Liam had paid after an employee had cleared his throat very obviously because of how long they had been sitting there, Niall somehow still found the courage to laugh and grab a hold of Liam’s hand once they were outside, simply because she had wanted to. Did it really matter anymore? Seeing what they were about to do, after everything she had told him?

It was only when they got back home that the mood shifted, the bus ride having been filled with normal conversation, neither of them really mentioning the fact that they had fucking agreed on sleeping with each other, but being in the privacy of their flat was kinda… a little bit different. 

“Louis… Louis isn’t gonna come home, he… he’s sleeping at Harry’s.” No idea why Niall felt the need to say that as she slipped off her shoes, feeling her heart starting to beat a little bit faster as she watched Liam doing the same, trying not to stare too obviously. It’s just… he was really good looking, like genuinely, and it was hard to believe that he’d ever agree to kiss someone like Niall, or have sex with her, when he could have basically had whoever he wanted. 

“Okay… “ Of course Liam knew what the girl had been implying, taking a bit of a breath before locking the front door, for security purposes obviously, but it kinda felt like he was doing it so no one could have walked in on them. They hadn’t talked about when exactly they were going to… do this, and it would have felt weird to plan it anyways, but somehow it seemed to be clear to them that they weren’t gonna like… postpone it for a few days or something, there wasn’t really a point to anyways. Why was Liam _nervous_ though? Like… he surely wasn’t bad in bed if he was only half as good as it as he was at kissing. 

Holy shit, Niall was actually gonna have her first bloody time with _Liam_. And only because she had weirdly started thinking about it after actually having wanted to say something completely else and not having been able to keep it in for some reason. Maybe… maybe it was meant to be or something or… or she was just crazy and Liam was taking pity on her because this was definitely not normal and she was trying really hard not to think about it too deeply.

Was this considered to be cheating? But it’s not like she was dating anybody or had promised anything, so it couldn’t be. And anyways, Niall just wanted to know what it was like and she wanted her first time to be with someone who she knew cared about her, they weren’t like… in love or something, so it was only… practice. Just like the kiss, right? And Liam was just the best friend in the whole entire world willing to help Niall out. 

“You know… if you’re not sure or if you’re nervous then… just tell me, okay? It’s not like we _have_ to do this now, we’re just… doing whatever you want, yeah?” It was remarkable really, how calmly Liam could talk about this, his hand rubbing up and down the girl’s back shortly, almost causing her to shiver as she looked up at him, relaxing a tiny bit as she saw how soft his eyes were. It’d be fine, she trusted him, more than she could ever imagine trusting somebody else. 

“Thanks, Li, I… really, I mean… I really wasn’t planning on actually asking you to do this and I really don’t take it for granted and thank you also for coming with me to the doctor’s and… and for kissing me on our camping trip, I… I don’t know why I came up with it, I just… “ Niall had just been staring at Liam’s lips and all the talk about sex had naturally led to the obvious, but that wasn’t what she would tell her best friend of course, she needed to keep this… neutral. 

“It’s fine, Nialler, don’t worry ‘bout it, okay? It’s the same as with the kiss, I’m just showing you and it won’t change anything between us, it’s no big deal, I promise.” Well, except for the fact that he would take Niall’s virginity, but it’s not like she was desperately holding onto it or something, in fact… well, she wasn’t trying to get rid of it, but… it was natural to be curious, right? And she had no idea where her relationship with the other boy was heading and it made sense that she would have rather had her first time with someone who she trusted and loved, didn’t it? Like… didn’t have to be that exact other guy, but eventually she’d have sex with someone and… she didn’t wanna make a fool out of herself, simple as that. Also… well, Liam _was_ very fit, and he was sweet and caring and… anyways. “I gotta… get something from my room.”

“Yeah, I… I’ll quickly go to the bathroom.” Obviously, neither of them had been prepared for this, it seemed kinda weird honestly, to just decide to do this and then come home and _actually_ do it, but no one except them was home and it was already in the evening and… why wait, right?

Their parting was slightly awkward, especially because Niall was 99% sure that Liam was getting condoms from his room, but she was just glad that she had a few minutes to go pee, make sure her breath wasn’t too bad and that she smelled somewhat nice even if… even if it literally didn’t seem to matter because they had been so close the whole time that it probably wasn’t making a difference. Still, it made Niall feel a little bit calmer now that her nerves were kicking, just talking and thinking about it was one thing, but actually being minutes before… before it happened was something else.

Liam had clearly taken longer than necessary, but he seemed rather relaxed when he came into Niall’s room, where the girl had just mindlessly been cleaning up her stuff just to distract herself, her heart almost stopping as she looked at Liam standing right in front of her. This was fine, everything would be fine, she had wanted this, she had been the one to suggest it and she _did_ want to sleep with Liam, as weird as that sounded, it’s just… it was still her first time, and she knew how all of this worked theoretically but… it was all new to her, just like kissing had been.

“Nialler, relax, okay? It’s just you and me, no one will ever even know.” Hopefully, because Niall didn’t even want to imagine what Harry or Louis would have said. 

“I know, but… I’ve never done this before and I do want to, I’m just… a bit nervous.” Not only because she was scared of doing something wrong, but also because… well, because of obvious reasons.

“You don’t have to be though, you can’t do anything wrong and I mean… it’s not like we’ve never seen each other naked.” Liam chuckled a bit, though it was obvious he wasn’t really finding it that funny, he was just trying to lighten the mood, rubbing his hands over Niall’s upper arms and the girl felt goosebumps rising from his touch. It kinda wasn’t fair, was it, everything Liam had to do for her, trying to calm her down and stuff even though Niall had been the one who had wanted all of this. “You alright, Ni? Are you still sure? We can stop any time.”

“I know, I… yeah, I’m… I’m sure.” She definitely wouldn’t chicken out anymore, not now that she had already gotten herself worked up and as Liam smiled at her, she managed to fake a smile back, trying not to think about how close they were, how the boy’s touch felt like it was burning holes into her skin.

“Okay… I’m gonna kiss you, yeah?” He had lowered his voice a bit and Niall couldn’t really find the strength anymore to answer him, just staring into his wonderful brown eyes before down onto his plush lips, feeling his hand cupping her cheek before leaning in slowly as the girl nodded, words having gotten stuck in her throat. 

That was it, they were really gonna do it and honestly, though this was only for demonstration purposes, there was nothing and no one else on Niall’s mind for whatever happened next except for Liam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	9. Chapter 9

Kissing Liam again honestly felt like heaven to Niall. She had been thinking about it so many times that it should have been embarrassing, and yet having Liam’s lips pressed against hers, his hot tongue in her mouth and his hands all over her body, pretty much erased everything from her mind that wasn’t her best friend. Somewhere deep down Niall knew this was wrong, that this would have consequences, not only regarding their relationship, but could also possibly… affect the way she was feeling. None of that was on her mind though when she had Liam’s tongue massaging hers and his fingers gripping onto her waist. 

Niall couldn’t believe what they were about to do, so randomly, after something she had said without thinking, without really having thought it through, but having Liam so close, snogging him in her room, already got her even hotter than she could remember ever having felt before. This was new, no one had ever touched her like that, kissed her so passionately obviously, and it felt so good that Niall had tingles rising all over her body as she tried to get closer to Liam, pushing all her worries to the back of her head.

This was what she wanted and she almost felt a bit overeager, arms wrapping around Liam’s neck without Niall even noticing, clinging to him as she tried her best to mimic his movements, tried not to screw the kiss up or do anything weird or stupid. Liam was the best friend ever for having agreed to this, the least the girl could do was not make it too horrible for him. Even though… he didn’t seem like he was hating this too much, did he?

It was just that for a while actually, they just kept snogging, kept touching each other and Niall could feel her body relaxing into Liam’s, felt brave enough to curl her fingers into the hair in the back of his neck and return the kiss even when she was running short of breath, her whole body feeling overheated and tingly, but in a really good way somehow. She would have never thought anybody could make her feel this way, especially not her own best friend but somehow… somehow he was. 

“Nialler… “ Liam mumbled after they had pulled apart for a moment, their foreheads touching and Niall kept her eyes closed, feeling Liam’s heavy breath against her wet and swollen lips. This was different than the first kiss they had shared, Liam had still been very gentle and careful, but it had kinda been with a different purpose and also… this hadn’t been Niall’s first kiss anymore, and though it had only been her second, it had kinda been familiar, the way Liam tasted, the way his beard felt against her skin. “Are you… alright?”

“Yeah… ‘m good… “ They were both panting a little bit and Niall didn’t know why, but maybe it was because they had already agreed on all of this, had already had the embarrassing talk that she didn’t need to really think about it before having built up the courage to kiss Liam once more, making the tiny distance between them disappear, somehow not having been able to hold back. Kissing Liam felt so damn good for some reason, the way he would hold her, grip her waist tightly and yet kinda gently and just… Niall wouldn’t have been wanting anybody else to touch her like that. 

They kissed again, more slowly this time, and somehow more deeply as well and Niall could feel herself getting lost in the kiss again, feeling slightly less nervous because she already knew what to expect and how it worked, at least somehow. Of course though, at one point they did run out of breath again, more quickly this time, and it was only when Liam’s hands moved a little up Niall’s waist that she remembered what they were about to do. 

“Should we… would you be okay if we… get on the bed?” Right, this was what they were doing this for, not just because Niall really liked kissing Liam, this was for demonstration purposes, nothing else. 

“Yeah… okay… “ Slowly pulling apart, Niall felt the blush returning into her cheeks, trying to resist the urge to touch her lips, still tasting Liam in her mouth and already kind of missing the feeling of him, his warmth, his hands on her body. 

It was slightly weird to sit on the bed while Liam went to close Niall’s bedroom door even though they both knew Louis wouldn’t be coming home tonight or anytime soon, but it still felt a lot more… intimate, gave them a bit more privacy, and Niall felt her stomach turning into knots as she moved a bit further into the middle of her mattress, trying to control her breathing as Liam came back to her. 

He was so good looking with his lips all red and even more plush than usual, a soft smile on his lips that was at least somewhat calming Niall down as he went to sit on the mattress with her, obviously not wanting to push her to do something or to do it too quickly and though Niall knew that actually the whole point of this was to just… _do_ it, she was really hoping that Liam was going to take his time, not only show her how it worked but also… maybe a little more than that. 

“You look really nervous, Ni.” Liam sounded slightly worried and Niall tried her best to come off a bit more confident, she _was_ nervous, but she didn’t want the boy to think she didn’t actually wanna do this because she really did. 

“I… I am but… but I… I wanna do this, I… “ Niall was still trying to get more air into her lunges, somehow wanting nothing more than to just stare at Liam and throw herself back on him and kiss him once more, but on the other hand, she was also really shy to even just move. 

“It’s okay, babe, let’s just see where it goes, okay? I’ll always ask before I do anything, yeah?” Of course he would, and sometimes Niall was slightly annoyed by it even though she knew why he was doing it, but right now, the girl was more than happy and relieved about Liam’s gentle words, the way he reached out for her hand, only holding it lightly and squeezing a bit. “Can I… kiss you again?”

“Yeah… “ God, Niall actually wanted nothing more than that, it was somewhat even embarrassing, but Liam was just a really great kisser and there was nothing wrong with admitting that, was there?

Since they were both sitting down now, it was even more different, Liam’s hand softly cupping Niall’s cheek, thumb stroking her skin and his lips still curled into a smile before he leaned in, waiting for her silent permission before closing the gap once more and Niall kinda felt that whenever she was kissing Liam, she was somehow a lot less nervous about everything else as well.

The position they were in wasn’t very helpful for what they were doing and Niall wasn’t at all surprised when she felt Liam softly pushing against her, her heart hammering in her chest as she allowed him to move closer, trying not to break the kiss as she slowly laid down, but Liam went right with her anyways, one hand still pressed against her cheek and the other resting on her hip. Okay, now this was even more different than anything Niall had ever experienced. 

It wasn’t like Liam put his whole weight on top of the girl because he didn’t, he was clearly keeping it on his forearms, but of course his whole body was still pressed up right against Niall’s, keeping her on the mattress, lips never leaving hers while the girl had her arms locked around Liam’s neck, trying not to think about what was going to happen, even though somehow… somehow she felt so hot all over and so tingly that she was also curious to experience what would happen next because for whatever… for whatever reason Niall was itching to touch Liam, touch his skin and anywhere he’d allow her to.

But she was too afraid to make the first move, somehow thinking that maybe she wasn’t supposed to because, well… it was Liam showing _her_. 

“Is it… is it okay if I-“

“Yeah, anything, I… just… just do whatever… whatever you’d do if… “ If it wasn’t Niall but instead some other girl, she didn’t even know what Liam had been asking for, having broken the kiss for only a second and half mumbling against her lips, but all Niall knew when their lips were back on top of each other was that she had definitely not been prepared for Liam’s hand to slip underneath her shirt. 

His palm against her bare skin felt hotter than Niall felt it should have, it was also a lot softer than the girl would have thought, not really shoving her shirt up all that much, just a little bit, but it was enough to cause Niall’s breath to hitch while she was kissing Liam, automatically tightening her arms around her best friend, somehow wanting him even closer than he already was. 

When Liam’s lips somehow slipped off of Niall’s, the girl kept her eyes close, trying to keep somewhat still as the boy pecked her lips a few more times before suddenly moving them down to her jaw, his breath hot against her skin. “Tell me if… if you want me to stop.”

Instead of answering, Niall wished her ears weren’t rushing so much and her pulse wasn’t going so fucking fast as Liam’s wet lips kept placing kisses down her jawline and then her neck, without a doubt being able to feel how quickly her heart was beating, how rigid her breathing was going as the boy’s hand wandered a bit higher up her shirt and his lips went lower in return. Niall was gonna suffer a heart attack from this, she was suddenly pretty damn positive about that. 

“Relax…’s just me…” Easier said than done, Niall could barely even concentrate on one single thing, not knowing whether to be nervous for what would come next or just keep her eyes close and tilt her head back like she wanted to, give Liam a little more room to kiss her wherever he pleased because it felt so damn good that Niall almost had to shiver each time his lips met her skin, each time his fingers stroked over her side. Damn, and they hadn’t even gotten started.

The boy sucked only lightly on Niall’s neck before moving on, of course not wanting to leave a mark on her and Niall felt herself blushing as she caught herself wishing that he would, more than just once, just do whatever he wanted but of course, this was not the purpose of this. They were doing this in secret and no one would ever know, which would have been hard had Niall had her neck covered in love bites. And yet…

By now, her shirt had slipped up quite a bit and the girl somehow didn’t mind at all anymore, loosening her arms around Liam to allow him to move a bit more, her cheeks feeling as if they were on fire when he lifted his head after what seemed like forever, just looking at her, his free hand coming up to brush a strand of her out of her face. “Niall? Are you okay? You sounded a bit-“

“No, yeah, I… I’m completely fine, I… I promise… “ Was it bad that Niall wanted Liam’s lips back against her neck? That she missed his beard irritating the sensitive skin and how soft his mouth had felt? That she somehow wished his hand would have just slipped a little bit higher or… or lower? She would have never thought that she could get so eager. 

“Okay… just making sure… “ And then, as if it was normal between them now, Liam softly pecked her lips, lingering a bit longer, making the kiss very sweet and gentle before pulling back and Niall felt more than embarrassed for the tiny noise of disappointment that escaped her. At least it made Liam smile a little bit, his hand still resting near her face, the other one underneath her shirt and his whole body on top of hers. “Is it alright if… if I take off our shirts?”

“Um… yeah.” They had already been snogging for like 15 minutes, it kinda seemed appropriate to move this further, but Niall immediately felt heat rushing into her face, which was kinda stupid because she had seen Liam shirtless 50 billion times and he had seen her in her bra as well, it’s just… well, they had never been snogging while both being half naked obviously.

Still, Niall tried her best to not let the nervousness show in her face, feeling a little bit cold almost as Liam sat back and up, still smiling really sweetly at the girl before starting to pull off his shirt and Niall was pretty sure he was only doing it right now because he was trying to make Niall feel more comfortable undressing as well and _of course_ the girl had to get stuck as she was trying to take off her own shirt.

“Wait, I’ll help you.” Liam had mindlessly thrown his shirt somewhere on the floor and Niall had tried not to stare too much at his exposed chest and stomach, tried not to think about how good looking he was and how much tanner his skin was compared to hers, having wanted to use the chance to take off her own shirt while Liam wasn’t watching her. That plan had turned out a little bit differently.

“Thanks… “ The girl choked out after Liam had helped her, silently thanking the gods that she had put on a plain black bra and nothing too old or embarrassing because she would have surely died out of nervousness. Somehow though, Niall seemed to be the only one having trouble to not stare at Liam’s muscles and his exposed upper body because even though the boy’s eyes did flicker down for a moment, he was really good at looking straight into Niall’s face with the same smile on his lips. Well, the girl wasn’t much to look at anyways. 

It was a whole lot different when they got back into their original position, Liam didn’t bother checking on Niall yet again, but he waited for her to actually lie down, waited for her to close the gap between their lips herself and all he really did was kissing her back, moving back on top of her before his hand came to a rest on her side once more and Niall tried not do anything stupid. Liam’s skin was right against hers, his arms and shoulders and back were exposed as she wrapped her arms back around him, feeling his belt brushing her bare stomach. Okay, this was… something else.

After this night, they would have kissed so often that Niall wouldn’t have been able to count even if she had wanted to, she kinda also tended to forget time whenever Liam’s wet tongue was in her mouth and his fingers were brushing over her overheated skin and all the girl knew was that her ears were rushing even worse this time when Liam started kissing down her neck once more, panting against her from the lack of air, lips leaving a wet trail. 

Niall’s eyes were pressed shut, she had no idea anymore what she was even thinking about, all she was hoping was that she wasn’t hurting her best friend with how tightly she was holding on to him, undoubtedly leaving fingermark trails on his skin but she just couldn’t have helped it. It felt really good, more than that actually, to have Liam kissing down her body, breathing out heavily against her, hands on her bare hips, only lightly pressing into the flesh.

It was only before he started kissing down the valley of her breasts that Liam hesitated for a moment, waiting for Niall to open her eyes and give him a small nod, almost a bit to overeager because holy shit, it was embarrassing how much she wanted this, how much she wanted to feel Liam’s lips on every part of her body, have her skin going pink form the scratch of his beard, feel the pressure of his fingers against her. 

There was nothing audible in the room except for Niall’s desperate tries to keep her breathing steady and the quiet sound of Liam’s mouth meeting her skin, the bedsheets moving just a tiny bit but the girl was still hyper aware of everything happening, almost biting her bottom lip bleeding when the boy kissed between her breasts, his thumb just barely slipping underneath her bra, rubbing over the sensitive skin he found and Niall had never felt this way ever before. 

“Nialler… can I-“

“Y-Yeah… sure… “ Not really letting him finish because it was obvious what he had been about to ask for, Niall’s face was on fucking fire as Liam lifted his head once more and the girl tried her hardest not to meet his eyes right now as she half sat up, their fingers colliding behind her back as they both went to unhook her bra and honestly, Niall was about to die from nervousness, but she was so _desperate_ now to get Liam’s mouth and hands back on her that she didn’t even care anymore.

The girl felt a shiver going through her body as she completely took off her bra, letting it drop somewhere next to her before slowly lying back down, with Liam’s hands on her waist as if he was trying to support her, thumbs rubbing slow circles. Niall wasn’t looking at Liam, she immediately let her eyes fall closed, tried not to think about what was going to happen but the anticipation was somehow killing her, she didn’t even care that her best friend now had enough time to stare at her like this because this wasn’t about her having to be pretty or beautiful, right? It was just sex, nothing else.

“Ni… “ Liam mumbled all of a sudden, his palm rubbing over her stomach and Niall felt shivers rising all over her body as the boy half lied down on top of her again, his lips suddenly a lot closer than she would have expected, feeling his breath hitting her face as he half whispered, voice sounding a bit unsure. “You’re beautiful… “

Honestly, Niall couldn’t have answered to that even if she had wanted to, there was a lump forming in her throat right before Liam’s lips were pressed back against hers and the older’s tongue slipped back into her mouth, his bare chest now lightly rubbing over Niall’s nipples and she felt them harden from the attention, every tiny touch of Liam’s against her feeling like it was setting her on fire. She would have never thought that she could feel this way with anybody, that it could feel so bloody good even though they hadn’t even really gotten started yet.

Liam kept kissing the girl more eagerly than before but Niall didn’t mind at all, fingers gently pulling on Liam’s hair before her grip tightened and she involuntarily sighed into his mouth when she felt his hand moving up, his palm feeling warm but a little bit rough, and then suddenly, Niall thought she had to fucking die as his hand ever so slowly and softly cupped her right breast, thumb moving over her nipple and the girl had to almost break the kiss from the feeling.

He was being so gentle, always waiting and checking what Niall’s reactions were, and obviously, the girl wasn’t hating any of this, she wanted Liam to keep going, trying to press her body up and more into his as he kept massaging her breast, rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and Niall felt herself getting even hotter, pressing her thighs together as she kept panting into Liam’s mouth, not even able to protest when his mouth slipped off of her hers, causing the embarrassing noises that were escaping her to be audible for both of them.

If Niall had thought that this was already driving her insane, it was nothing compared to what she felt when Liam kissed the corner of her mouth and then suddenly moved down even further and Niall’s eyes shot open for a moment when the boy’s lips wrapped around her until now ignored nipple, giving it the same attention as the other and Niall was sure she was close to actually ripping Liam’s hair out.

“Liam… oh god… “ It was just a breath escaping her, not having been able to hold back, trying to keep her body still as she let her eyes fall closed again, not being able to believe how hot and perfect Liam’s mouth felt on her, sucking gently on her nipple while rolling the other between his fingers, all of his touches going straight to Niall’s center. Oh god, was it embarrassing how turned on she was from this, how all of this made her feel, that her best friend could get her body to react this way? But this was normal, wasn’t it? She didn’t have to feel bad for enjoying it so much, for being so certain that she would have wanted no one else to do this to her except for him.

There wasn’t much talking between them since Liam was obviously busy and Niall was busy as well trying not to make her lip bleed, trying to keep it together and being more than surprised by herself when she couldn’t help a quiet moan escaping her as Liam’s hand and mouth switched places. His tongue was hot against her overly sensitive skin and Niall could still taste him in her mouth as well, not knowing whether she would have wanted him to kiss her again or to keep kissing and sucking on her breasts.

When Liam lifted his head once more after what seemed like forever, Niall almost felt sweaty and overheated, shivering underneath his hands still touching her and the girl couldn’t help but notice how red and shiny his lips had gotten as he let his forehead knock against hers, softly, causing Niall’s arms to tighten once more as he mumbled half against her lips. “You good? Did that… feel okay?”

“Yeah… more than that… “ Niall wasn’t really watching the words coming out of her mouth anymore, tilting her head up to make their lips meet again, almost having missed the way Liam’s mouth felt on hers, his tongue against hers and his taste. The girl was so far gone by now, if there had been any doubt in her that Liam was the one she wanted to lose her virginity to, that had been completely erased.

Maybe Liam was trying to give Niall some more time to get used to all of this, take it as slowly as possibly, and the girl really appreciated that, even if she felt like she would have to burst any second, feeling so breathless as well but not wanting to turn her head away and stop kissing Liam because she felt like she _needed_ to keep kissing him, needed to cling to him and have his hands all over her. She hadn’t been mistaken when she had thought that sleeping with Liam was probably a privilege, as stupid as that sounded.

Niall almost felt her head getting a bit dizzy by the time Liam’s hand moved down her side once more and in between their bodies, her breath coming even heavier as she thought about what would happen, feeling that Liam wanted to pull away and ask whether this was okay, whether he was allowed to open up her jeans as he reached the button, but the girl kept his head down with one hand cupping his cheek and the other one the back of his neck, trying to tell him this way that it was alright, that he didn’t need to check on her anymore. If they waited any longer to really get to it, she might have just passed out from feeling so many things at once.

Liam needed a bit before he had managed to open the button of Niall’s jeans and pulled down the zipper, not immediately shoving his hand down her pants though and Niall was kinda glad for that, feeling her heart hammering in her chest, right against Liam’s where he was pressed against her. The boy gently bit into her bottom lip before suddenly bringing a bit of distance between them, his free hand brushing some hair out of the girl’s forehead, his voice sounding heavy and breathless. “Don’t be too nervous, okay? ‘s just me and no one else, it’s all fine, babe, I got you, yeah?”

“I know, Li… I trust you.” She really did, almost wanting to lean back up and kiss him, but they both needed to catch their breath for a bit, their lips all swollen and Niall’s were almost hurting in the best way possible, keeping her eyes closed though as she felt Liam eaning his forehead against hers. 

They were just breathing against one another for a second and Niall got a tighter grip on her best friend as she waited, his warm breath somehow feeling relaxing, but it didn’t quite prepare her for when Liam did slowly move his hand into her jeans and the girl’s breath hitched, keeping her eyes closed though because she was way too embarrassed to look into Liam’s face right now, especially when it was so close.

It wasn’t as if Niall hadn’t felt Liam growing harder against her leg, but she had ignored it, mostly because she hadn’t been sure but also because there was nothing she could have done with that knowledge. Now though, when the boy had finally slipped his hand into Niall’s jeans and was slowly stroking her over her underwear, causing Niall to almost see stars in front of her closed eyes as she struggled to keep on breathing, she was very much glad that she wasn’t the only one who had been affected by this, that hopefully Liam didn’t find it weird how wet she had gotten while they had been snogging and he had been touching and kissing her all over.

Holy shit though, this alone felt so incredible that Niall had to once again bite her bottom lip to keep in her sighs and moans, not knowing whether this was appropriate or not, feeling Liam’s breath quickening a bit as he continued to stroke her, their lips barely touching but they weren’t kissing, just keeping as close as humanly possible and Niall fisted Liam’s hair even more tightly, not being able to believe how _good_ it felt to have the boy touching her like this.

Liam didn’t immediately move his hand into her underwear, he kept this up for a while, rubbing her over the fabric until Niall couldn’t help the moan escaping her, never wanting the boy to stop, and maybe he took that as a sign to take it another step further and Niall was almost keening as the boy’s fingers were touching her bare skin, spreading the wetness over her folds, somehow gently but also with the right amount of pressure, circling her clit and the girl could actually taste blood in her mouth this time.

No one had ever touched her like this, sure, she had touched herself and all that, but this was 100 times better, and to know it was Liam, know that he’d never do this if Niall hadn’t wanted him to, that he was only trying to make her feel good and make this the best experience he possibly could made it even better than it had already been. At this point, Niall was sure she had never felt this much pleasure, was sure that when Liam’s fingers gently slipped inside of her and his thumb kept rubbing her clit that it wasn’t gonna get any better than this, that her moans couldn’t get any more frequent.

But she was wrong.

Obviously, the fact that Niall was still wearing pants limited Liam’s movements a bit, not that Niall really noticed because his thick fingers were inside of her wet heat, thrusting gently before pulling them back out and touching her in places and in ways she would have never thought would get her so close to the edge so damn quickly, and so naturally when he suddenly stopped, the girl wasn’t too happy about it. Only for the split of a second though. 

“Babe, can I take your jeans off?” Somehow Liam sounded kinda breathless as well, but Niall didn’t really dare opening her eyes, not even sure if she would be able to answer him, wanting to whine when he pulled his hands out of her pants, so she kept her eyes closed, nodding almost too quickly and too fast. She just wanted all these damn clothes off and have Liam touching her everywhere at once and never ever stop again.

Since her pants were already unbuttoned and everything, the boy had it fairly easy to just pull them off while Niall slightly lifted her hips to help him, not even having time to feel embarrassed when she was lying there in just her underwear and without a bra on, her panties probably noticeably wet and Liam being able to see all of it because Niall was still not daring to open her eyes and look at him, instead moving an arm across her face to hide a bit more, maybe also the blush in her face.

“I… can I?” Liam had hesitated, not having said anything for a moment once he had taken the girl’s jeans off and Niall wasn’t 100% sure what he had just been asking for, but she gave him a very quiet and breathless “Yeah” as an answer and honestly, she wasn’t surprised when it lead to her best friend’s hands stroking across her thighs before hooking them into her panties and though Niall felt her breath hitch and her ears starting to ring once more, she yet again lifted her hips as the boy slowly slid off the last piece of clothing off of her. So that was it. 

Had Liam not immediately moved in between her legs and spread them more, Niall would have probably tried pressing them together, but she couldn’t really anymore now, gasping when she felt Liam’s warm body and skin right against hers, also the material of his jeans rubbing onto her skin as he slowly moved back on top of her, again keeping his weight on his forearms, warm fingers curling around Niall’s wrist.

“Hey… look at me.” There were a lot of things Niall wanted right now, a lot of places and one in particular she wanted Liam’s fingers to be at, and even though she felt embarrassed as hell about it, she did the boy the favor of allowing him to move her arm away from her face, trying not to be too eager and thrust her hips up against him. The way his fingers had felt against her heated center was still too prominent, how they had felt inside of her, pumping slowly and dragging across her inner walls, getting her wetter than she had ever managed to do by herself. It’s just… fuck, Niall didn’t even want to think about how incredible it’d feel once they carried on, she wasn’t even sure if she’d last for more than two seconds actually. 

Looking into Liam’s eyes like this was kinda hard because his face was so damn close and he didn’t let go of Niall’s wrist and his whole body was pressing into hers and Niall was fucking naked and yet… looking into his familiar and soft eyes caused the knots in Niall’s belly to loosen a tiny bit more, not knowing what to say though or how to even react to any of this because… Liam had probably already figured out that the girl was having the time of her life.

“I know that…. this is supposed to be for demonstration purposes, but… can I… try something else?” No idea what that was supposed to mean, but the girl simply nodded anyways, relieved when Liam lowered his lips onto hers once more, capturing them in a slow and sweet kiss. Niall would have let Liam do _anything_ to her.

Though all of this was new of course, it yet again felt even more different once they pulled apart and Liam’s mouth yet again went wandering across Niall’s body and the girl’s eyes fell closed immediately as his lips once again reached her nipples, only shortly giving them attention though and Niall’s realization of what Liam was about to do almost caused her eyes to fly open as she felt hot heat filling her belly. Was he really going to do this?!

Curling her fingers into Liam’s hair and trying to be somewhat soft, Niall couldn’t help but move a bit as Liam kissed down her stomach, tickling her a bit, his thumbs rubbing circles into her hipbones before slipping a tiny bit lower, slowly spreading her legs even more as Liam himself moved down further the bed as well and Niall honestly thought she would have to suffocate as she held her breath in anticipation. He was genuinely going to do this, he was going to fucking have his mouth on her, _there_ , and Niall didn’t even have any time to prepare for it.

Of course Liam didn’t just go for it, he kept up the kisses, playfully biting her skin and sucking on it but of course always on the pleasurable side and never even getting close to hurting her, but the lower he moved, the closer his hands got to where Niall actually wanted to have them, stroking the inside of her thighs before Liam’s mouth was suddenly there as well, made it pretty fucking hard for the girl to keep quiet. Holy shit.

His lips felt like fire on Niall’s skin and she was more than sure that she’d still feel the burn tomorrow because of how Liam’s stubble was constantly rubbing against her on such sensitive areas, but of course, none of that was on her mind as her best friend was kissing down her thighs, fingers tracing her skin, always shying slightly from where she was all hot and pulsing and Niall yet again bit her lip bleeding as her heart sped up and her breath came heavy, holding on even tighter onto Liam’s hair. 

And then, he _finally_ put his plush lips exactly where Niall had never even known she needed them to be.

It wasn’t her fault that a moan escaped her and her back arched a bit by herself as Liam put his mouth on her, breathing out against her wet folds, hands holding her legs open to give himself more space and Niall almost ripped some of his hair out as she felt his lips and his beard against her, her free hand fisting the sheets underneath her, feeling her eyes getting teary.

He was just kissing her at first, not really doing much at all but Niall already thought she had to die, even more so when she felt him sucking her clit into his mouth, breathing out heavily through his nose and by now the girl could have really counted herself lucky if they didn’t have the neighbors coming over to knock on their door because she had lost all ability to shut herself up. _Fuck_.

“L-Liam… “ Niall wasn’t even aware of the sounds and words escaping her as Liam tongued at her wetness, his thumb occasionally rubbing circles over her clit while he was sucking and lapping at her, fingers teasing at her entrance, apparently knowing the exact right places and amount of pressure to have Niall on the edge within seconds, have her squirming underneath the boy and moaning his name.

When Liam used his fingers to hold her folds open for his tongue, Niall was trying so damn hard to not push his face more towards herself, tried to stay as still as somewhat possible even though her mind was far too gone as to make good choices anymore. Her whole body literally felt as if it was on fire, thighs clenching around Liam as he continued to use his tongue and mouth on her, his breathing having gone heavy but Niall could barely even take notice of any of these things anymore.

“Oh g-god, _Liam_ … aaah… “ His fingers were circling at her entrance, barely slipping inside and stretching her while his mouth never really came to a stop, softly lapping at Niall’s heat, his thumb rubbing circles into her swollen clit and Niall knew she wouldn’t be able to last, not like this, not when his mouth felt so wet and perfect and his beard was scratching her sensitive skin and his fingers were pressing into her, stretching her in the most pleasurable way. 

As the girl’s breathing got heavy and she felt like she was about to be pushed over the edge any second, hair sticking to her forehead as she was winding underneath the boy, moans consisting of only her best friend’s name, Niall was almost about to gently push Liam off, tell him to stop before she would cum because she wanted _everything_ , but it never really came to that.

Right as Niall had tightened her fingers in Liam’s hair, biting her lip hard so she’d be able to keep quiet for at least a second, trying her hardest to hold off, the boy lying between her thighs spread her legs even wider, and though they already burned, Niall complied, not knowing what was happening when Liam scissored his thick fingers inside of her and then, as if the girl hadn’t already been seconds from reaching her high, she suddenly felt Liam’s hot tongue pressing inside of her, lapping up between his fingers, his nose pressing against her clit and there was no fucking way Niall could have pushed him off now.

“ _Fuck_ …. Fuck, Liam…. d-don’t stop… aaah… right t-there… “ Niall moaned at the feeling of Liam’s tongue inside of her, against her hot walls, unwilling clenching around him, his fingers slipping in even deeper, hitting a spot inside of her that had her seeing stars. “ _Oh my god_ … “

He was definitely trying to get her off now, thumb rubbing tighter circles on her clit and his fingers and tongue working her inside, pressing up in all the right spots and Niall unconsciously let go of the sheets to grab at her own breast, pinching her nipple as her back arched, hips pushing into Liam’s face and it only took one more thrust of his fingers to push Niall over the edge with a moan that was probably still audible two floors above them.

Niall had never been with anybody else, had never had anyone touching her like this except for herself, so maybe that was the reason why she came harder and longer than ever before, but the girl was still sure that the fact that it was Liam was playing a role as well. It seemed to last forever, and the boy was working her through it, even afterwards when Niall was slowly coming down from her orgasm, feeling sensitive but not strong enough to push Liam’s head away as he kept softly lapping at her, palms stroking over her skin as if to soothe it and Niall’s head was honestly spinning.

“Niall…?” Liam sounded as breathless as Niall felt, barely able to blink her eyes open when Liam finally lifted his head after what seemed like ages and the girl knew she would have usually gotten embarrassed, but she was blushed all over already and sweaty and her heart was hammering and she struggled to get enough air into her lunges and all that she could really think about in that moment was that her mind was absolutely blown. “You okay?”

“Yeah… “ The girl almost let out a humorless laugh because she was more than just okay, not being able to stop staring at Liam’s lips, they were all shiny and swollen and maybe she shouldn’t have been so eager to kiss him right now but somehow she was, somehow she still hadn’t had enough of him, still wanted him close, as close as humanly possible. 

There was a smile spreading across Liam’s lips as he slowly moved back on top of her and Niall’s arms felt limp but she still forced herself to wrap them around his neck, not thinking about what was going to happen next, what they were going to do after this night was over because all she cared about right now was the fact that Liam had just made her feel as if she had gone straight to heaven and also that she hadn’t kissed him in way, way too long.

Niall’s whole body still felt tingly and hot, her thighs burning a bit, but it all felt so incredible that she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, briefly staring into her best friend’s eyes right before he leaned down to kiss her, letting her taste herself and Niall could feel another moan somewhere deep in her throat, not shy anymore to move her tongue with Liam’s, holding onto him for dear life, her ears feeling a little bit as if they had been stuffed with cotton. And maybe her head was as well.

“Li… I… I want to… can we still… “ The girl had no idea how to ask for this, she wasn’t embarrassed, not in that moment, but she felt breathless and still unexperienced, only knowing that she was still turned on, that she could feel how hard Liam was against her leg and that she really wanted him, all of him.

“If you want to… “ Liam mumbled against her lips, his clean fingers running through Niall’s hair as he kissed her once more, deeply and somehow desperate, hips rocking a bit against hers and had Niall’s body not felt like jelly, she would have wrapped her legs around his waist to keep him even closer. 

“I want to… “ She mumbled back, hoping she was being convincing enough, her whole body somehow having relaxed after her orgasm, the remaining feeling of Liam’s tongue and fingers on her center still very prominent in her mind. God, Niall didn’t even dare to think about how he’d feel inside of her.

“Okay…” Instead of doing anything though, Liam kept kissing her for a while, as if he didn’t wanna stop and Niall was more than happy about that, she knew she was kinda gross and sweaty, but Liam didn’t seem to care one single bit, he was touching her all over still, running his hands up her sides and her thighs, thumb brushing over her nipple and getting the girl to sigh into his mouth as their tongues were massaging each other. Honestly, Niall could have been doing this every fucking night.

When Liam did pull back, Niall couldn’t help the small whine, quickly letting go of him though because this was what she wanted after all, and she did feel slightly nervous once more at this point, even if she was lying naked in front of Liam since a while already, after he had seen everything, had had his mouth on her. She knew it would be incredible though, because everything was incredible with Liam and at this point, Liam could have probably suggested the freakiest shit ever and Niall would have happily agreed.

Though Niall’s eyes kinda felt heavy, she watched as her best friend slowly got off the bed, throwing a smile at her before taking a breath that seemed a little bit shaky, but before the girl could really think about it, Liam had fished out a condom package from his jeans, throwing it on the bed next to her before making quick process with his jeans and Niall almost had to hold her breath.

Liam was so fucking hot, but he was even hotter when he was undressing himself in front of Niall, his body flushed and glistering a bit with sweat, the clear outline of his erection in his boxer shorts once he had taken off his pants and Niall knew it was inappropriate, but she couldn’t help but stare as Liam took off his boxer shorts as well, almost making her gasp as his fully hard penis slapped against his stomach, clearly wet and red. He had gotten hard just from eating her out, just from kissing her, and Niall knew that he probably couldn’t have helped it, but it did make her feel slightly proud. At least this experience wasn’t bad for him, right?

“Are you still sure?” The boy made sure to ask as he came back crawling on the bed and Niall nodded, forcing herself to look into Liam’s face instead of between his legs and wondering whether it’d hurt or not. But that was ridiculous, it was Liam, he’d make sure he wouldn’t hurt her. “Okay… “

Tongue between his teeth, Liam hesitated only for a second before ripping open the condom package and Niall couldn’t help but lean onto her elbows so she’d have a better look, feeling herself getting even wetter as she watched Liam stroking himself a few times, spreading the precum before carefully rolling the condom over his length and Niall’s heart sped up about ten times when he was done. So that was it, they were genuinely going to do this.

“Tell me if… if I’m hurting you, or if anything’s off at all. Tell me immediately, okay?” His voice sounded very firm as he came back crawling over Niall and the girl was so nervous yet so desperate that she could only nod a bit too quickly, barely even caring anymore because she just wanted Liam inside of her, wanted to feel what it was like to be as close to him as humanly possible. She just wanted Liam and nobody else.

The fact that they were both naked now took all of this to another level, Liam’s erection was bumping against Niall as he leaned down for a kiss and the girl moaned, breath quickening as she felt Liam reaching down and between their bodies, spreading Niall’s legs a bit more before clearly grabbing a hold of himself and the girl’s fingernails were digging into Liam’s back as she felt the head of his cock pushing and pulsing against her. Oh god.

They weren’t really kissing, only somehow breathing against one another, noses touching and Liam was clearly trying to do this slowly as he was suddenly pushing into Niall and the girl tried to not make one single sound, not even out of surprise because she really wouldn’t have wanted Liam to stop because he thought he had hurt her. It was quite opposite actually.

It didn’t hurt at all, maybe because Niall was so wet or maybe because Liam was being extra gentle and slow, all Niall knew was that he felt absolutely incredible inside of her, his hot, pulsing erection stretching her out, pressing against her walls, Liam’s breath having gotten heavy once he had bottomed out, their hips and chests pressed flatly together now. “Ni… you g-good?”

“Yeah… you can…. Move.” God, Niall wanted him to do nothing else, she appreciated the fact that he was giving her time to get used to how he felt, but really, the girl didn’t need more time, she just needed Liam to get on with it.

The boy pecked Niall’s lips right before he attempted to pull out a bit and thrust back in, getting both of them to let out half a moan because Niall could only imagine how this felt for Liam after he had had to hold back for so long when it already felt this incredible for her. She almost got a tad emotional actually, maybe because of everything that had happened but the fact that this was Liam, that they were so close, that he was doing all this for her, never once thinking about himself but trying so, so hard to make her feel good almost brought tears to Niall’s eyes. 

“Everything… okay?” Liam asked between a few pants, his palm cupping Niall’s cheek as their foreheads were pressed together, thumb unevenly rubbing across her skin while the girl just held onto him like she had the whole time already, finally though while they were doing what the girl had originally wanted and she still couldn’t even believe that this was happening.

“Yeah… harder…” Usually Niall would have maybe been embarrassed, but the word just fell out, she didn’t want Liam to hold back, didn’t want him to treat her as if she was made of glass because she was desperate to have him going faster and get in even deeper, brushing that one spot again that had made her see stars before.

He didn’t immediately comply, only when both their breathing got heavier, Liam did one particularly hard thrust, probably because he wasn’t able to hold back any longer and Niall moaned against his lips, already feeling the familiar heat crawling back into her stomach, never really having been able to fully come down from before and that oversensitivity paired with Liam’s heavy pants and grunts, his weight on top of Niall and his thrusts getting deeper and harder was enough to push the girl right back on the edge.

They weren’t talking much anymore, both only struggling to breathe and Niall felt her eyes falling closed once more, pushing her hips up to meet Liam’s occasionally because it made the boy groan against her skin each time, having find a somewhat regular rhythm by now, the room filled with their pants and their skin slapping against each other, the slightly wet sound of Liam thrusting into Niall, the bed shaking just a little bit.

For some reason, though Niall was so bloody turned on and felt more pleasure than ever before, she really wanted Liam to come, wanted to know that he had liked this enough to actually feel just as much pleasure as she had, and though the girl had no idea whether this was an okay thing to do, she slipped her own hand between their sweaty and damp bodies, leaving one arm hanging around Liam’s shoulders. 

“Fuck, Ni… “ Almost immediately, Liam let out a grunt once Niall had her hand where she had wanted it, feeling where they were joined, where Liam was thrusting into her, so hard and desperate now that he was almost punching all the air out of the girl’s lunges. Not that she would have wanted it any other way. 

This was the most intimate thing Niall had ever done, more than what Liam had been doing to her before, and the fact that she got to experience it with her best friend, with the one person that meant the whole entire world to her, even if Liam wouldn’t have had to do this at all, made Niall feel like the luckiest girl in the world and maybe that should have been weird but… it didn’t feel weird at that moment. Like, who had a friend like Liam, someone who genuinely cared, who’d most possibly take a bullet for Niall without even hesitating and Niall loved him so much that it almost brought tears to her eyes while she still had her hand down there and Liam was keeping up his thrusts, half moaning into Niall’s ear.

“N-Niall… you c-close?” His words were barely understandable, it was obvious that he was holding back and Niall suddenly felt bad, because she had already cum before and she really wanted Liam to enjoy this as well and judging by the look on his face and how desperate his thrusts were, he was about to blow also.

“Y-Yeah…” The girl half choked out, closing her eyes again as Liam’s split slicked lips landed on top of hers, sloppily kissing her while Niall tightened her arm once more, using what little strength she had left, almost keening a bit too loudly into Liam’s mouth when she felt the older’s hand pushing hers away where it was still feeling where they were joined, finding her clit once more and rubbing uneven circles that got Niall’s belly to tighten. “Liam…” 

The fact that Niall was probably never going to experience this ever again, not with Liam at least, almost made her wish she could have hold back, could have somehow dragged it out and made it last longer, but the even thrusts of the boy’s erection inside of her, now dead on hitting that one spot inside of her she had never actually believed would make her feel this good, his fingers rubbing her and his tongue in her mouth were pushing the girl to the edge within seconds even though she had already cum before. It’s just… god damn it, this was Liam and he was making this whole experience so unbelievably amazing that Niall would have been full on crying had she not been busy with other things.

“C’mon… “ Liam let out a grunt after mumbling against Niall’s lips, doing a particular hard few thrusts with the clear purpose of getting the girl off and Niall’s orgasm just washed over her out of nowhere, she hadn’t been expecting it, unwilling clenching hard around Liam, her body arching up and more into the boy’s, a moan consisting of her best friend’s name as she came for the second time tonight.

It was even better than the first time, because Liam was fucking her through it, more sloppily now but also faster and harder, hips stuttering as he suddenly turned his head away from Niall’s, instead burying it between her head and the pillow, numbing his moans as he was coming as well and the girl could feel an actual tear escaping her as she had both her arms wrapped around Liam’s shoulders while they were both riding out their highs. Wow.

Honestly, it seemed to last ages until Niall finally came down from her orgasm, almost feeling like she was lacking air because of Liam’s weight on top of her, not really being able to breathe properly, but she honestly didn’t care, keeping her eyes pressed closed as she struggled to calm down, be a bit less emotional once Liam’s thrusts had stopped and they were just lying there, neither of them moving, the only audible sounds being their heavy breaths.

So that was it, that was what it felt like, what Niall had missed out on through all these years, and obviously it would have been different with somebody else, but the girl couldn’t help thinking that she could have asked Liam for this sooner, could have maybe dropped more hints, even though… she still didn’t know why she had wanted it to be him so badly, why it had felt so right even though it had been a wrong thing for them to do as best friends, why Niall felt another tear escaping her as she thought about how this would never happen again, how they’d never be this close again or kiss like this, and the girl didn’t know why but it really got to her.

“Li… ?” Niall tried after a few moments of silence, somehow unconsciously combing her fingers through the boy’s sweaty hair, not wanting them to move or him to pull out, she wanted to stay like this for as long as possible, savor the moment because she was never going to get it back. 

“Hm?” He sounded a bit exhausted, barely moving an inch and the girl tightened her arm so he wouldn’t even think about it either, glad that her voice was still sounding normal when she was whispering even though she was feeling so many emotions right now that she could barely even grasp a clear thought.

“Thank you… “ Of course, a much bigger thank you would have been appropriate, more than just that actually, but somehow that was all Niall could think of, hoping that Liam knew that she really and truly meant it, and just because they had just had sex and it really didn’t matter, Niall said something she had told him so often, but never quite in this context. “I love you, bean…”

“Love you too, Nialler… “ Liam’s voice was numbed by the mattress he still had his face pressed into, suddenly starting to move even though Niall really didn’t want him to, feeling herself blush a tiny bit as the boy lifted his head to look at her, eyes kinda glassy but the same sweet smile on his lips that he had had put on for most of the night. “Don’t thank me, okay? You’re my best friend, I’d do anything for you.”

“I know… “ Feeling a lump in her throat as Liam briefly kissed the girl’s forehead, Niall couldn’t help but wish he would have kissed her lips again, just one last time. 

“You’re okay, right? I wasn’t… too rough or did anything you-“

“No, Li, I… it was perfect… “ More than that, better than anything Niall could have ever imagined and knowing that Liam at least hadn’t completely hated it was really good enough for the girl.

“Okay… “ He gave her another smile, brushing some hair out of her face and the look in his eyes was so loving that Niall almost had to lower her eyes, knowing that she was probably as red and sweaty as Liam, but none of that could have given her any trouble now.

Somehow, Niall was waiting for the moment where it’d get awkward, where her little bubble would burst, but it never seemed to come. Not even when they finally moved apart, when Liam pulled out of her and went to discard the condom somewhere outside her room and they both got half-dressed when he came back, at least in underwear, and by then Niall was missing the feeling of Liam’s body against hers so much that she didn’t spend much thought on it as she asked.

“Li… will you stay with me? Please?” The last thing Niall wanted was to sleep alone, it wasn’t that late and maybe she should have showered, but everything smelled and tasted like Liam and she really didn’t wanna lose that.

“Sure… “ Liam seemed happy that she had asked, his hair was a freaking mess and his lips were still swollen and Niall was 100% sure that he had never looked better, not only because he was only wearing his boxer shorts, but just… he was so damn gorgeous.

Maybe it should have been weird, but then again, they couldn’t have gone any further than they just had, and Niall was so eager to get back into Liam’s arms it was almost embarrassingly actually. Usually, she would have of course been slightly embarrassed to cuddle with him like this, only wearing panties and a shirt, but right now, all Niall cared about was to be as close to Liam as humanly possible, not caring what would happen tomorrow once they woke up, whether this would change anything between them.

“Hey, Li… “ They were sharing a blanket, having made sure to lock the girl’s bedroom door of course, even though it was night already and the chances of Louis coming home tomorrow before noon weren’t very high, but… you never know.

“Yeah?” The boy was holding Niall so tightly that they weren’t really able to look at each other, also, it was pretty dark, but the girl was more than pleased with her body touching Liam’s in pretty much every way possible, smelling him everywhere and having his fingers running through her hair. Maybe it’d get weird for a day or so, but the way they were lying right now and behaving around each other, there was no way this could be negatively affecting their friendship, right?

“Can I, um… can I maybe… kiss you again?” Niall wasn’t even sure if Liam had understood her, she was slightly nervous to ask for so much, it’s just… she wasn’t even sure if she could have gone to sleep otherwise. Maybe this would have been the last time they kissed, but at least she could be prepared for it.

For a moment, Niall almost got scared as Liam didn’t answer, his hand slowing to a stop, and it was only when the girl already had her mouth open to apologize and take it back that Liam suddenly pulled back a little and before Niall could think she had ruined it, the boy’s lips were already on her hers. It was gentler than maybe any time before, so sweet and slow that Niall felt like it only lasted for like 3 seconds even though they did kiss for quite a while and the girl tried to press closer into Liam, tried to go with him as she felt him pulling away. How’d she even manage to wake up in the morning and not accidentally kiss him awake or something?

“Maybe we should… get some sleep… “ Clearly, Liam was only saying this because he didn’t know what else to say, but Niall was just happy that the boy allowed her to immediately snuggle back into his arms after they had said goodnight to each other, press her face into his neck and breathe in his scent, trying to actually believe that all of this had happened.

It was only after Liam’s breathing had gotten even, his arms locked tightly around her, hand only resting in Niall’s hair but not moving any longer, that the girl was lying wide awake listening to her best friend’s breaths, feeling the slow rise and fall of his chest against hers, that she suddenly had a realization she actually wished she would have never had to have.

Niall genuinely tried to find arguments that spoke against it, tried to justify why she hadn’t been thinking about any other boy in this way ever, why she had wanted to have her first kiss and her first time with Liam, why he was the only one in the world she fully trusted and wanted to be with every single day, why she was about 99% sure that she wasn’t going to fall in love with the guy she was seeing.

But the truth was pretty much undeniable, how could she fall in love with somebody else when she was already in love with her best friend since god knows how long? And it had taken her to have sex with him to actually realize it.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this wasnt supposed to be 10K of just smut but i dont think anyone really minds haha, hope you all enjoyed ;)


	10. Chapter 10

It wasn’t awkward afterwards, the only thing that really changed was Liam’s already fairly slim level of toleration when it came to Niall going on dates and talking about this other guy. But ever since they had had sex, Liam wasn’t feeling anymore as if his heart had actually broken, it was more like he couldn’t even feel anything anymore regarding this topic. No idea what he had expected to happen after he had slept with Niall, he should have known not to get his hopes up, it was just hard having everything continuing almost exactly the way it had before.

That night had been the best of Liam’s entire life, he would have never thought that he’d get to kiss Niall ever again or experience what it was like to be with her in that way, be allowed to touch her like that, make her feel good and show her that she should never expect anything else from any boy she’d date. Liam had been nervous doing everything he had done, also a bit scared that he might mess up, that he’d startle her, but judging by the sounds the girl had made, judging by how desperately she had kissed and clung to him, and also by what she had told him afterwards, she had enjoyed the hell out of it and that was really all Liam had wanted.

For a moment though, afterwards, when Niall had asked him to stay with her, asked him whether she was allowed to kiss him again, Liam had thought that maybe, just _maybe_ this had been more for Niall than just sex, just like it had been so much for Liam, but seeing as the next morning had basically been as if nothing had happened at all… that tiny spark of hope quickly vanished, leaving Liam behind feeling kind of numb.

It wasn’t like Niall was continuing to go on dates every day for the next two weeks or so, she did stick to what she had said, that she missed Liam and wanted to spend more time with him, that she wasn’t sure whether she was moving too fast with this other boy, wasn’t sure whether she could fall in love with him or what would happen. But fact of the matter was that she did still text him, still met up with him, and then at night she’d knock on Liam’s door asking whether she could sleep in his bed, always seemed overly excited whenever Liam asked her if she wanted to go out and eat or go watch a movie, clung to him even more than she normally did whenever they were together. Honestly, Liam was sure Niall had never kissed his face as many times as she did after they had had sex, had never held his hand so often or wanted to sit on his lap.

The whole situation was so strange, it honestly felt like Niall was kinda leading both Liam and this other guy on, and Liam hated to think about his best friend that way but… if she wasn’t in love with any of them, then why was she acting the way she did? It was fine if she was clingy with Liam, she always was, but why would she do that if she thought maybe she’d have something with that other guy? And if she didn’t then… why did she keep on meeting up with him?!

Either ways, Liam was confused and though he was relieved that their friendship hadn’t gotten awkward in any way, it still hurt him and he couldn’t even tell anybody about it or ask Niall what the hell she was doing because… their night together was a secret, and the girl couldn’t find out how bloody jealous he was after all. So short, Liam had to suffer in silence, as always.

Luckily it was Friday today, making it about 11 days since the best night of Liam’s life and maybe he shouldn’t have kept on counting like that, but it was quite hard not to think about it when just last night Niall had asked if she could sleep in Liam’s bed with the excuse that there was a mosquito in hers keeping her awake, and then the night before she had texted Liam at 12:30 am asking if he was awake and if he could come over and sleep in her bed because she had watched a scary video on YouTube. It was just… hard, to say the least, to be with her when Liam was basically falling deeper in love every single second of just looking at Niall but constantly having to fear that she might just stop all of this in favor for someone else.

“Hey, Payno.” Nobody had been home ever since Liam had gotten back from uni, Niall was on a date and Louis had probably been out with Harry, not that Liam had minded being alone for a few hours, at least he hadn’t had to put up a fake smile or pretend like nothing was wrong for a while, he had just been lying on the couch watching TV, trying not think about how long Niall had hugged him when they had seen each other for lunch hours ago. How she had asked whether she could borrow his hoodie and that she was now still possibly wearing it on her date. This was fucked up.

“Hey… “ Liam felt kinda demotivated as he attempted to sit up a bit more properly as he watched Louis locking the door and taking off his shoes, already trying to mentally prepare himself for potentially being asked about where Niall was off to. Although, Louis and Harry had kinda stopped talking about it so much, now they only threw pitiful looks at Liam and Louis would crack pretty rude jokes about the guy Niall was seeing, getting Liam into a shit situation because he wanted to laugh but he didn’t want Niall to actually feel hurt by the jokes.

“Have you just been lying here all day long?” Louis chuckled as he came over, pretty much collapsing into the arm chair as Liam was sitting in the middle of the couch, letting out a huge yawn that got the other boy even more tired as well. If he hadn’t already had a nap before, he would have really been in need for one now.

“Ever since I came home, yeah.” Liam shrugged as his friend laughed at him, he really wasn’t in the right mood for any of this and of course this wasn’t Louis’ fault obviously, but still. “Were you out with Haz?”

“Yeah, he told me to tell you hi actually, but he’s coming over later anyways, he just has to get something from his dorm. Have you already eaten?” It sounded kinda concerned, which was weird for Louis but Liam decided to ignore it, barely even looking at his friend and instead carrying on to simply watch TV. 

“Yeah, I ate lunch with Niall a few hours ago.” Many hours ago actually, because that had been lunch and now it was already in the evening, but Liam wasn’t feeling very hungry anyways, in fact, he rather felt like he had to throw up if he only just saw food. 

“Right… is she… with that boy of hers?” He had clearly hesitated before asking and Liam felt his stomach twist at Louis’ choice of words, simply shrugging his shoulders because maybe Niall wasn’t even with him anymore, maybe she was already heading home. Probably not though. 

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence coming over them that Liam chose to ignore because it wasn’t his fault after all, he just never ever wanted to talk about this topic again, what was so difficult to understand about that?! 

Apparently, Louis regretted what he had said because a few times, it seemed like he was about to say something but then decided not to, not that Liam honestly cared, he was really invested into the movie that was on when Louis did finally decide to say something, only listening with half an ear because he really didn’t need yet another apology or another offer of Louis to kill that other guy or some shit. “Hey, listen I… I wasn’t, uh… I wasn’t gonna tell you, and Harry said I shouldn’t, but I… I thought it through on the way home and I decided that… that you’d probably rather hear it from me than anyone else ‘cos you won’t like… have to fake a reaction.”

“Uh, what?” What was even going on? This didn’t sound very calming or promising, but all Liam felt for now was confusion as he turned his head to look at his friend, seeing how he was clearly struggling with words, not a very Louis-like thing to happen. 

“Well… me and Harry we… we were out to eat before, right? And I swear to god I didn’t… I mean, it wasn’t our intention, and we only just got there when… “ None of this made sense and yet Liam felt his heart drop as he sat up more straight, wanting to tell Louis to just spit it out but at the same time somehow knowing that he wouldn’t wanna hear it. “We saw them. Niall and this guy, they were at the same place and… they were obviously about to leave, they didn’t see us and like… they kissed. Not very long, but… and I know Niall will immediately tell you once she gets home and I thought you’d rather wanna be prepared because I know I would… “

“Oh… “ Yeah, _oh_ indeed, because what else could Liam have said? It did hurt, but somehow it wasn’t a surprise for Liam and yeah, he was upset and he wanted to cry, but… that was nothing new, was it? Of course Niall had kissed that boy, of course she was eventually going to start dating him, at least for a little bit, and of course she wasn’t thinking about what had happened between her and Liam anymore because it had meant nothing to her, right? “Well… good for her.”

“Li…“ Of course Louis had noticed the sarcastic undertone, probably could also tell just how tight Liam’s voice had gotten, how his eyes had gotten a bit wet as well. But luckily, he couldn’t see how the boy’s heart was yet again shattering into a billion pieces.

“Thanks for telling me, I um… I still have homework to do so-“

“Liam, don’t do this, please. Just… it was just a kiss, okay? Nothing else, it doesn’t mean anyth-“

“It does, it was a _kiss_. But if she wants to kiss that boy, then she can, I don’t even care.” It was childish, but Liam was already wishing he would have never had to hear this, would have never had to have confirmation that he wasn’t the only one anymore who had kissed Niall, that even though she had fucking told him she’d rather kiss him than the other boy… she had obviously changed her mind. 

“Of course you do and you should. What I’m trying to say is that she told me herself she’s not in love with him, she probably just did it to… try it or something, she-“

“She didn’t.” Liam shouldn’t have said that because he was literally on the verge of tears and he couldn’t think clearly anymore and somehow the idea of just telling Louis _everything_ seemed strangely appealing. Did it even matter? He had never explicitly told Niall he would keep it a secret, or maybe he had, but what did it matter? At least Liam hadn’t gone off and fucked some other girl he didn’t even love a day later just because he had felt like it. 

“How would you know?” Somehow Louis’ voice was kinda strange, their eyes met for a moment and Liam almost thought that there was something else his friend knew that he wasn’t telling him and kept quiet about, his face kinda surprised and it was then that Liam decided to just screw all of this. He would _never_ be with Niall, maybe she’d get mad at him for telling Louis but surely not for long so whatever, Liam had to fucking suffer every single day, wasn’t he allowed to at least talk about it?!

“Because I kissed her, okay?! She wanted me to show her. On our camping trip, I offered it and she… she agreed. So maybe she changed her mind about her feelings for this guy, but she didn’t kiss him just because she wanted to _try_ kissing somebody because she’s already done that.” There it was, finally out of Liam’s mouth, and it would have felt like a relief had Louis’ face not been… the exact opposite of surprised. Wait…

“I… “ Even more hesitation, and somehow Liam was yet again the one to be left in confusion, his heart almost stopping then as Louis continued, barely even looking at him anymore, a deep sigh escaping him. “You… you slept with her too, didn’t you? Like… a few days ago.”

“Wha- how… how did you-“

“I’m not very proud of this, but… I heard you guys. I had forgotten something at home and I genuinely was trying to be quick, I thought Niall was… with that other boy, but it were your shoes at the door and… I mean… she wasn’t very, uh… quiet, like... I heard your name, so… I’m sorry, I wasn’t gonna tell you, just… “ Oh god.

Liam honestly felt like he was frozen, blinking dumbly at Louis even though five seconds ago he had thought about telling the other boy himself and now… oh god, he had heard everything? Like, he had known for the past 11 or so days? Had watched Niall and Liam being this close and cuddly while knowing that they had had sex?! Talk about embarrassing. 

“Look, Li, I… we really don’t have to talk about it because it’s none of my business, I never even planned on asking you, I just… I’m worried about you. Like genuinely worried about you, and I really didn’t want to hurt you by telling you about that kiss, but I knew Niall would have told you anyways and I just… why did you… agree to do all these things, Liam? I mean… “ Obviously, Liam’s face was fucking burning and he had no choice anymore now but to keep on sitting there, trying his very hardest to never once lift his head and meet Louis’ eyes. Honestly, could this have gotten any worse? Could his friend have pitied him even more? Louis was never this caring, only if it was very, very serious and apparently… apparently Liam hadn’t been so good at pretending that nothing was wrong after all.

“Because I… because I didn’t want her to… kiss some gross guy just to know what it’s like and I… I didn’t want her to sleep with someone for the same reason and I… she asked me, if I… if I’d have sex with her… I couldn’t say no.” For the most part because Liam was weak as hell, but also… “I know I can never be with her, but I… I wanted to make sure she at least experiences all of these things with someone who really loves her, since she wanted to try them so badly and I’m her best friend, I gotta make sure to protect her and make sure she’s alright, so… “

There was a bit of awkward silence hanging between them, maybe because Liam’s voice had almost broken towards the end and there was a huge lump in his throat now, his hands kinda shaking, not being able to get over the bloody fact that Niall could just go and kiss this guy, 11 days after she and Liam had had sex, after she had admitted that she didn’t even like that boy like that. Not like Liam had a right to be jealous, none at all, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t fantasizing about crushing that other boy’s skull in. 

“We really don’t, uh… have to talk about it. It’s fine, I… I shouldn’t have told you, about the kiss, about any of it really, I… Niall and I agreed we’d never tell anyone, so… “ Liam did feel guilty, but he was also still upset and he knew for a fact that Louis wouldn’t go and confront Niall so it was whatever really. Besides, he had heard Niall _moaning_ Liam’s name, so there was that. “Thanks for… for telling me.”

“Liam… if…. if you wanna talk about anything, I-“

“No, I’m good, really, I just… just need some time, I think and I… I really do have homework to do.” It was a big lie, and they probably both knew because Liam let out the most humorless laugh ever before moving to get up, his face still red as a tomato and the whole situation was so messed up, the boy could hardly even believe that just 10 or so minutes ago he had been sitting here hating his life without knowing that a simple conversation could lead to him hating it even more. 

Louis did try to stop him once more but Liam was barely even listening anymore, just glad that his friend wasn’t getting up to physically keep him from going into his room and closing the door behind himself. There was no point to talk about it, they both knew at this stage, and maybe it hurt even more now, to know that even Louis had somehow given up on encouraging Liam to confess his feelings to Niall after he had been trying to convince him for years. At least they were all on the same page now.

The tears didn’t come immediately but they did come eventually and Liam just kept his eyes pressed closed, still leaning against his bedroom door before eventually letting himself slide to the floor, not knowing what to think or where to go from here. He had always had hope left, through all of it, all these years and even the last few days, and he didn’t know why a simple kiss was leaving him on the floor crying and biting his own arm to quieten his sobs so Louis wouldn’t hear.

It’s just… after everything that had happened, after everything Niall had said, Liam hadn’t really been prepared for the girl to actually take her relationship with this guy further and it was hitting him out of nowhere somehow and he knew it was stupid to cry and it was stupid to be mad and disappointed because Niall had never promised Liam anything at all, had never made him hopes, not intentionally anyways, she wasn’t in _love_ with him, clearly, and she never would be and at some point the boy would have to get over it.

Liam felt like ages had passed by until he had somewhat calmed down and run out of tears, very grateful that Louis had just left him alone because literally, what could they have talked about? Instead of sadness and disappointed, there was something else filling Liam as he felt the tear tracks dry up, some numbness filling him as he stared holes into the opposite wall, not really thinking any of this through as he reached for the phone in his pockets.

He had other friends, friends who had no bloody idea what kinda crazy stuff was going on here and who he would never tell, friends who Liam knew would immediately agree if he asked them to go out with him and get completely shitfaced until he couldn’t fucking think anymore even if he would have wanted to. And maybe that wasn’t a solution for anything but it sure as hell was better than sitting here for the rest of the night feeling sorry for himself.

 

\-----------

 

Niall was wiping her mouth with the back of her hand without noticing as she hurried up the stairs, desperate to just get home and get into bed and forget about everything that had happened today. She was angry, at herself mostly, because for the past few days her emotions had been a freaking mess and instead of trying to sort them out, the girl had gotten herself in even deeper.

She couldn’t believe that she had actually kissed him, that she had been the one who had initiated it, and yeah, he had immediately reacted, had taken it upon himself to do it yet again just five seconds ago at the door and Niall had probably never regretted anything so much in her entire life. A voice in her head had been telling her to break it off with this guy, just tell him nicely that she didn’t think it’d work, that they shouldn’t… shouldn’t keep on meeting up when she knew for a fact that she’d never actually want anything more from him. 

So why had she fucking kissed him?!

Niall felt like she was going crazy ever since she had had sex with Liam, it was like, her feelings for her best friend had always been there somewhere, she had just never really… considered it or even thought about it, had never thought that someday she could be lying in Liam’s arms after having slept with him and suddenly have the striking realization that she was in love with him. But it all made sense now, didn’t it? And gosh… Niall had been joking about it, about how easy it’d be with the two of them, because they knew each other inside out, trusted each other blindly, had even slept with each other and yet the girl knew she could never have Liam, would never actually be brave enough to tell him. And why would she do that anyways, of course he didn’t return her feelings.

Dealing with that had been fairly difficult, because even though they had always been close, suddenly Niall felt like she wanted to cling to Liam all day long and be with him and sleep in his bed and sit on his lap and hold his hand and the boy hadn’t rejected her so far but… Niall really needed to tone it down, she couldn’t be in love with Liam, it wouldn’t lead anywhere and it’d just leave her with a broken heart. At least now she knew why she had been so jealous thinking about Liam kissing other girls, why she had been so eager to have him teaching her how to kiss and have her first time with him, because somewhere deep down she had always known that this went beyond a normal friendship. Only from her side though, clearly.

So yeah, maybe Niall hadn’t stopped meeting up with this other guy because she was now even more desperate to have a boyfriend, be with someone so she’d be able to forget about her silly crush on her best friend. Which had turned out to be a big, big mistake though, because in all honesty… that kiss hadn’t even scratched the surface of how kissing Liam had made Niall feel, and the girl had been thinking about him the whole time too, wishing nothing more than it being her best friend on this date with her instead of someone else.

Niall was really fucked, wasn’t she?

Somehow, the girl didn’t even really feel like telling Liam about that kiss, she just really wanted to see him right now, having started to miss him literally 5 minutes after their ways had parted after lunch and Niall knew this wasn’t good for her, that she couldn’t allow herself to get in so deep, but her hand was slightly shaking with anticipation as she fumbled the keys into the lock.

It was only like 10 pm, which was still pretty late considering that Niall didn’t even have any idea what she had been doing with this guy for so long, all she knew after this whole kissing experience was that it had been a mistake and that she needed to definitely break this off. Even more than that, she needed to get a cuddle from Liam right now before eventually telling him about what had happened and then hopefully her best friend would tell her how exactly she was supposed to break up with someone she wasn’t even dating. 

Upon entering the flat, Niall felt her heart dropping only a little bit because that were definitely only Harry and Louis on the couch and no Liam in sight, but he was probably in his room or something, he always waited up for her to come home. Yet another reason why Niall was in love with him, she was slowly noticing all these small things, started appreciating them even more, but sadly, they also made it pretty fucking impossible for her to stop thinking of Liam as the most perfect guy ever. But he fucking was, wasn’t he?! Shit.

“Hey… is Liam in his room?” Maybe Niall should have waited a little bit before right blurting out with it, but she was kinda just walking past the other two, at first not even really thinking about stopping because she really only wanted to talk to Liam anyways, but then Harry and Louis shared a really weird look with each other and the girl stopped, confused. “What?”

“Uh, he actually… he went out, like, an hour ago, maybe?” Harry sounded very unsure but Niall barely even noticed, she could actually feel her heart _drop_ with the disappointment rushing through her and even worse, jealousy. Of course Liam could go out, he didn’t have to sit around here all day by himself waiting for Niall to come home or even tell her where he was going, it’s just… Niall had really been missing him the whole day long, and she had been so excited to see him and… and anyways, since when did he go out by himself?

“Oh, okay… with who?” The girl couldn’t help but ask, suddenly very demotivated to really go anywhere at all, so she quickly decided to go sit on the armchair because watching TV with Harry and Louis sounded a whole ton better than being alone in her room where her thoughts would be eating her alive.

“Well, he has other friends as well.” Louis had the same expression on his face as his boyfriend but Niall made sure to quickly look down anyways, pulling her legs on the seat as well as she stuck to simply nodding, trying not to think about who Liam could be out with. What if like… what if Niall had spent too much time going on dates? She had really limited her time with the other boy down because she had been missing Liam, but how could she even be sad that Liam went out with his other friends one single time when she did it all the time? Maybe it was because he hadn’t told her and they always told each other everything. “How was your… date?”

“Um, it was good, yeah… “ Niall was aware that she didn’t sound very excited, she was just playing with the sleeves of the hoodie she had on, Liam’s actually, she had borrowed it hours ago and she knew her date had been meaning to ask whether it was hers or not but he never had and honestly… Niall wouldn’t have even hesitated to tell him the truth. It still smelled a lot like Liam and this was probably creepy as fuck, but it was really calming. 

“So you and… and that guy… are you like, you know, together?” Clearly, Louis was having trouble asking this but the girl didn’t bother even turning her head to look at him, she actually didn’t even care talking about any of this, it was whatever by now. Funny really, how she had always wanted to go on dates and suddenly she was desperately looking for excuses to stop. 

“No…not really.” Shrugging, Niall decided not to even fake any excitement, like yeah, she really wished she could have been in love with this boy, could have been with him and enjoyed those two kisses, but sadly… sadly she was already in love with her best fucking friend and no one could ever know. God, how’d she ever start liking somebody else now after she had had that realization? She could barely even imagine not seeing Liam for a whole day and it had always been this way, how in god’s name was she ever gonna find a guy that treated her better than Liam? Someone who she liked better than her most favorite person in the whole world?

“So we won’t have to buy our suits for the weeding yet?” His laugh was kinda fake and Niall simply rolled her eyes, she wasn’t in the mood for any teasing or dumb jokes, she was just really trying to not let it be obvious that she was feeling like absolute crap simply because Liam hadn’t been here to wait for her to come home. Not that he _had_ to, but… 

“No, don’t be stupid, it’s… it’s not like that.” And it probably never would be because Niall had no idea how she’d be able to kiss anybody who wasn’t Liam ever again. This was so fucking stupid, wasn’t it? Like gosh, a month ago she had been so fucking oblivious to her feelings for her best friend and now… It had been because they had had sex, because it had been so intimate and it had really shown Niall what it’d be like and now… now it was everything she wanted. Not only the sex of course, just… she wanted to be close to Liam and she wanted to kiss him whenever she pleased and hold his hand and she didn’t want anybody to have him and she didn’t want him to like some other girl more than her. Like, ever. 

“So he’s not the one?” Louis kept on teasing, causing Niall to simply let out a bit of an annoyed sigh because she had no idea how to keep on answering these questions. Eventually, Louis would ask her why she kept on saying yes to these dates if she didn’t really enjoy going anymore and the girl wouldn’t have known what to say. 

“I’ve only… known him for a little bit, so… “ It seemed like forever though, and not really in a very good way because they had already talked about certain things three times or more because somehow… somehow there wasn’t all that much to talk about. “What’ve you guys been doing today?”

“Uh, nothing really… we went out to eat and then…we were just here, actually.” There had been some slight hesitation that Niall only registered somewhere in the back of her head because she had taken her phone out, for a second excited about having gotten a text message, but not so much anymore once she read the content, ‘ _U free again tomorrow? :)_ ’, almost smashing her phone against the wall. Why hadn’t Liam even texted her? Or asked whether she had come home alright? He always at least asked, he always made sure Niall was alright and suddenly he didn’t care anymore?! 

“Ni, are you… okay?” It was Harry who had asked and the girl almost felt caught, quickly shoving her phone back into her pockets before putting up something like a fake smile that probably looked more like a grimace.

“Yeah, sure, I’m just… tired. Um… did Liam like… just go out or… “ Or was he out drinking and not coming home until 2 am which wouldn’t be like him at all, but the whole thing was fishy enough already and Niall just needed to ask before she’d go insane.

“I’m not really sure, I… I didn’t ask too much, but… I think he’ll only be back later.” Great, there went Niall’s last string of hope, she couldn’t actually believe how much she hated this, neither of them had ever really hung out with other people so much before so maybe the girl was getting something of her own medicine now. It was Liam’s good right to go and have some fun without her, seeing as Niall was doing stuff without him all the time lately. Did it make it better though, that she had wished each time she could have been with him instead? Even before she had had… her realization?

“Oh, okay… do you know who he went with?” This was getting too obvious, but Niall just couldn’t stop herself, she could feel her cheeks turning pink already, knowing that the two boys were both staring at her instead of the TV and yet she kept on asking these things. She just really needed to know whether there were any girls involved, nothing else.

“Hmm… I guess those two or three guys he once invited over, remember? In our first semester?” Right, good, they were kinda nice, Niall couldn’t really remember anymore but she already felt her chest loosening just a tiny bit at that. Not that Liam couldn’t meet any girls wherever he had gone, but he wasn’t one to get drunk and then make out with someone so she wasn’t too worried. Not that Niall had a right or a reason to be worried because she’d never get what she wanted anyways. 

“Ni, are you sure you’re fine? I mean, if you wanted to talk to Liam about something… you can also talk to us.” Harry tried again, causing Niall to blush even worse, still playing with the sleeves of the hoodie, somehow too nervous to make herself stop. 

“No, it’s all good, I just… I just didn’t um… really see him all that much today and I just thought that, uh… ‘cos he usually always waits until I come home, but it’s fine, I… I’m fine.” Great, Niall had really given herself away and somehow she didn’t even care all that much, not like she was going to tell Louis and Harry about anything that was going on and they couldn’t have guessed it even if they had tried. 

There was some movement on the couch, Niall heard it but she didn’t look over, just tried to focus on the TV for a bit, the movie the boys had been watching before she had come home and just as she had opened her mouth to ask what it was called, Harry was somehow faster. “I’m sure that... that he would have waited for you, they probably just asked him to go out and he was bored or something, me and Louis aren’t that much fun to be around either.”

“Yeah, it’s okay, I… he can go out with whoever he wants.” Alright, that had sounded slightly bitter, Niall needed to tone it down or leave or something, but she really didn’t want to either because she knew there was no way she’d be able to sleep this early, especially after all of this. Especially because the last few days, she had somehow found excuses to crawl into Liam’s bed or make him sleep in hers and she had kinda already been planning to do that again tonight and now she wasn’t even sure when the boy would come home because he hadn’t told her anything at all. “Anyways, uh… what’re we watching?”

It was obvious that the other two weren’t really ready to change the topic like that, but they did Niall the favor and dropped the old conversation, maybe they were pitying her something, because Niall was aware that she had sounded kinda beaten down and a little bit too curious, it’s just… god, where had Liam gone and why hadn’t he told her? And since when did he go out to drink with his other friends who he barely even hung out with and why exactly today after Niall had been looking forward to seeing him all day and after she _really_ needed his advice? 

And maybe a cuddle as well. Or two.

 

\----------------------

 

Niall couldn’t actually remember falling asleep, but she must have done it at some point at least, after staring at her ceiling for what seemed to be hours, not even knowing how she would have come up with an excuse had anyone caught her cuddling with Liam’s hoodie. She would have simply gone and slept in his bed two weeks ago, but that had been before all of this had happened, when he had still told her where he went and of course Niall wasn’t mad at him or anything, she was just confused and… a little bit hurt and obviously, she was missing him.

So waking up in the morning, the girl almost hated herself for hesitating to get up and go check whether Liam was already awake because it was Saturday and usually she would have made breakfast for the both of them and just gone join him in bed but now… now she was actually a little bit nervous. Maybe Liam was mad at her or something? Maybe… maybe he was gonna start hanging out with his other friends all the time now because Niall had been doing the same to him and then eventually he’d maybe meet another girl and then… oh god, Niall really needed to stop all this overthinking. Surely all of this was just happening in her mind, right?

When the girl finally forced herself to roll out of bed she was still really sleepy, even if she had actually slept for quite a while, having had the weirdest dreams ever she was glad she didn’t remember in detail. Somehow she had been waiting up last night for Liam to come home, but he never had and then the girl had fallen asleep at like one or two in the morning, so thinking about that maybe her best friend still wasn’t home almost made Niall feel a bit nauseous. Who knows what had happened last night.

Trying to make her hair look somehow presentable, Niall quickly tried to stop herself as she realized that she was just trying to waste time, actually really fucking nervous about checking whether Liam was home and then even more nervous about that maybe he was upset with her for whatever reason. But he didn’t really have one, did he? Why would he be mad that Niall went on dates, they had spent tons of time together ever since… the _thing_ had happened, and the boy hadn’t been acting weird around Niall, everything had been completely normal. Well, except for last night. 

Walking out of her room, the first thing Niall did was throwing a glance to the door, checking whether Liam’s shoes were there and though they were lying at least two meters apart, she could feel relief rushing through her body as she saw them. Thank god, at least he had made it home in one piece.

“Morning.” Louis’ voice almost caused Niall to break her neck, she hadn’t even noticed her friend standing in the kitchen area making breakfast, immediately feeling herself blush as she tried to pretend like she hadn’t just started smiling like an idiot upon seeing her best friend’s shoes. But Louis had probably noticed it anyways. “I think he’s in his room, he’s not passed out on the couch, so that’s a good sign.“

“Thanks, Lou.” Rolling her eyes a bit, Niall tried to hide her excitement, hesitating just a moment as she thought about making breakfast for herself and Liam as well before going to his room, just so she wouldn’t wake him solely for the purpose of wanting to be with him and talk to him, quickly deciding against it though because what if… what if Liam was mad at her after all, that would’ve been awkward.

Well aware of Louis’ stare, the girl swallowed a bit before softly knocking on Liam’s closed bedroom door, not really knowing what to expect because she had no idea whether her best friend had been out drinking or doing god knows what. Somehow, Niall was able to convince herself that it was also kind of her duty to check whether Liam was alright, he would have done the same for her, wouldn’t he?

The girl could actually feel her breath hitch a little bit as she slowly pressed down the door handle, not having received an answer, which probably meant that the boy was asleep as expected and since Niall really didn’t wanna startle him or anything, she tried to be as quiet as possible, not really having been prepared for Liam’s curtains to be fully pulled back. Well, he probably had just been too tired to remember closing them last night.

Thing was, at first, Niall’s eyes simply settled on Liam’s relaxed and sleepy face, she could hear his even breaths filling the room as she stood in the doorframe watching him, blanket pulled tightly around his body and for the split of a second, the girl was so fucking relieved that she could have laughed. Sadly though, that only lasted for a little bit.

While still being stuck on trying to decide what to do and trying to resist the urge to go over and kiss Liam’s cheek because he just looked so _cute_ when he was asleep, Niall was a bit confused by the noise she heard, definitely not coming from the kitchen but from inside Liam’s room, even if the boy hadn’t even been moving at all. 

Well, and then Niall saw _it_ and her heart genuinely stopped beating, her eyes going wide and her whole body freezing in shock.

The noise she had heard had definitely been someone moving in the sheets, and since it couldn’t have been Liam, it was obvious that it must have been somebody else. Honestly, Niall almost threw up right then and there as she just stared at her best friend’s bed, at the _two_ people lying inside and this must have been a freaking nightmare because this couldn’t be happening.

There was a _girl_ next to Liam in bed, Niall couldn’t really see her face though, but they were sharing a blanket and they were lying really fucking close and Liam’s shirt was lying somewhere on the floor and… oh god, Niall was going to be _sick_. This couldn’t be happening, it just… it just couldn’t. Liam had gone out last night to… to bring some random girl home and _sleep_ with her?! Why… why would he do that?! 

Niall was standing in the doorframe way longer than appropriate, the image burned into her head as she forced herself to get out of the room again, softly closing the door before leaning against it with her back, staring straight ahead at the opposite wall, not even having any emotions kick in yet because she was still so fucking shocked. He had fucking slept with some girl, had gone out to drink without telling Niall, hadn’t waited up for her, and then he had come home at god knows what time and had had sex in the room next to Niall 11 days after they had slept with each other. This wasn’t Liam, no fucking way, he would _never_ do that.

“Nialler?” Of course Louis was confused, he hadn’t been able to look inside Liam’s room because he was too far away and also on the wrong side but Niall didn’t even care, her ears suddenly felt as if they were stuffed with cotton, her throat getting unbearably tight and her heart was _aching_ from all the thoughts coming to her mind. It had meant nothing to Liam, their night together, nothing at all, he didn’t even care who Niall went on dates with, not one bloody bit. “Ni, what happened? Is he not in there, is he-“

“He… he’s asleep.” The girl was aware that she sounded like a robot, but she could barely even talk, her eyes filling with tears even though she still hadn’t quite gotten it into her head. She’d never be with Liam and though she had known that, it fucking hurt so much to see him with somebody else, so shortly after their night together and Niall having realized that she had been in love with him all along that the girl could barely even breathe. How’d she survived that? Of course Liam had been with other girls, but he had never… never dated them for very long and back then Niall hadn’t been too jealous because it had changed nothing about their friendship, but now… now the girl was so jealous she wanted to fill a bucket of cold water and empty it over that stranger’s head.

“Are you sure?” Great, now Louis was coming over and Niall still couldn’t bring herself to just move one centimeter, still leaning against the door, trying her very hardest to choke back these tears and these sobs wanting to escape, trying not to just throw herself at Louis and cry into his shoulder and tell him everything that was going on. But it wouldn’t have changed anything, would it? “Niall, talk to me.”

“I… did you, uh… did you… hear Liam coming… home?” How had they been so quiet in there? That no one had heard anything? And Harry was here also and still sound asleep and Niall’s room was literally just behind the wall of Liam’s, like… what if she would have woken up last night and… _heard_ them? Heard someone else being allowed to be with Liam and being held by him and kissed and… Niall wasn’t gonna survive this.

“I don’t know, maybe I did hear him but I fell right back asleep, I… what happened? Did he like… puke all over himself or something?” The boy was just standing in front of Niall now, trying to keep his humor but Niall wouldn’t even acknowledge it, she was just… so fucking sad and disappointed but also _mad_ and just… what the fuck?!

“No, but… I will any second if I… have to look into his room again.” It came out a lot harsher than intended, at one hand Niall just wanted to cry and go lie in her bed and never ever leave her room again, but on the other hand… 

“What do you mean, what-“

“He’s in there with some girl. In his bed and… “ And nothing, and Niall wanted to rip both their heads off and she wanted to kiss Liam but she also wanted to yell at him and the worst part was she had no right to do any of these things or to even be the slightest bit upset with her best friend and yet she was so mad that she could have screamed. “I’ll go get dressed.”

“No, wait, I… what? You mean he… he brought a girl home?!” Somehow Louis seemed to be even more surprised than Niall, if that was even possible, but the girl barely noticed anyways, she actually felt kinda dizzy from all of this, just wanting to be by herself right now and not talk about it with Louis because what was the fucking point?! “Were they-“

“Naked? Looked like it.” Luckily Niall hadn’t been looking that closely, she swallowed one more time, meeting Louis’ eyes on accident right before pushing herself away from Liam’s door, an idea forming in her head that was so stupid and so foolish that she knew she was going to regret it tomorrow, but right now, it didn’t seem like anything could be worse than _this_. “I’m… I’m gonna get dressed, I have a date.”

“Niall, I… what? But-“

“Sorry, I’m already late.” And with that, Niall left a very confused Louis standing in the middle of their flat, throwing her bedroom door shut so loudly that she hoped it had woken everybody up, hoped it was giving Liam the worse headache of his entire life. Of course Louis had noticed her jealousy, of course he had seen how upset Niall was about all of this, but thing was, it didn’t matter anymore to Niall.

If Liam could simply forget about their night and sleep with the random next person out of nowhere and disappear without telling Niall anything at all then the girl could do the exact same fucking thing. It wasn’t even about trying to make him jealous, Niall knew Liam wouldn’t be, he didn’t return her feelings after all, but the girl knew it’d drive him crazy to not know where she was or when she’d come back and even if he had decided to not care anymore… maybe sleeping with Liam hadn’t even been that great, and maybe Niall was going to make sure to let him know afterwards.

 

\-------------------

 

“You should really call me, we could do it again, for _real_ this time.” She smiled widely at Liam, kinda still not able to stand that straight and the boy wanted to hit himself in the head. He hadn’t even had that much to drink, just enough to… to block out the fact that he fucking hated his life. 

“Yeah, uh sure… “ He was never going to call, he didn’t even have her number, couldn’t even remember the girl’s name as he looked at her standing halfway out in the hallway already, Liam just wanted to close the front door, just wanted to lock it and forget that this had happened, that he could feel Harry and Louis staring holes into his back because they had fucking seen them coming out of his room and… luckily Niall’s door was still closed, hopefully she was still asleep and would never ever know about any of this even if it already was quite late and the girl didn’t usually sleep _this_ long, but Liam had no idea when she had gotten back home last night anyways.

“Let me give you my number, I-“

“I already have it, I… you gave it to me last night, remember?” Liam lied, trying to smile back so he’d be more believable even if he felt like fucking crap. He felt so guilty, for not having waited for Niall to come home for not… having been there because even though it hurt he knew the girl would have wanted to tell him about her kiss, had probably wanted to talk about it with her best friend and Liam hadn’t even told her where he had gone and when he’d come back and… god, if Niall had done the same thing to him the other way around, he would have gone _insane_.

“Oh… well then… I should probably leave, your friends don’t look very… happy.” She hiccupped a bit and Liam resisted the urge to turn around, he didn’t have to be psychic to know what Louis and Harry were thinking about right now. Liam had officially lost his mind and they all knew it. 

“Yeah, I… see you soon then?” Or never, Liam was just desperate to close the door, freezing when the girl just chuckled before aiming to kiss his lips but the boy luckily managed to turn his head in time, having her lips meet his cheek and that was bad enough.

The second she had walked around the corner, Liam had almost thrown the door shut and locked it way too quickly, not being able to believe that he had come into a situation like that. This wasn’t him, this wasn’t something he would have ever thought he’d do, getting drunk because he wanted to forget, bring some random girl home with him and then… this was terrible, absolutely terrible. What had he been thinking?!

“So… “ Someone had cleared their throat behind Liam, the boy wasn’t quite sure who but his face was fucking burning as he slowly turned around, playing with his fingers, his head hurting from all the drinks he had had last night but he felt awfully sober right now. “Who was that?”

“Uh… “ Neither of them had said a word when Liam had walked out of his room with this random girl and he hadn’t bothered looking his friends in the face, just having been relieved that Niall hadn’t been there as well. He was never gonna touch alcohol again, Liam had always thought waking up to strangers you’ve forgotten the name of only happened in movies but apparently… apparently it didn’t. “I’m not… not entirely sure, actually, I… “

“Li… what the hell have you been doing last night?” Louis had luckily just decided to spit it out and Liam hated the fact that as soon as he lifted his head, he could see pity in his friends’ eyes rather than anything else, sighing heavily as he walked over to them because he didn’t have much of a choice anyways. 

“I was just… we were just having a few drinks and then… I had a few more than usually and I don’t really know anymore how… how it happened.” Trying to act as natural as possible just in case Niall would come out of her room any second, Liam walked around his friends into the kitchen, mindlessly opening the fridge and just staring at what was inside without really seeing anything. He couldn’t have eaten just one single bite right now. “I was just… drunk.”

“Did you, you know… sleep with her?” Oh god, that would have been Liam’s ultimate nightmare.

“No, definitely not, I… we were both way too drunk, we just kinda… fell into my bed and fell asleep, nothing more happened, I mean… I did, like… kiss her at the club, but I… I can’t really remember that either.” That had never really happened to Liam before and he really hated it, hated that he had allowed himself to let go like this, had gotten himself into such a weird position and that he now had to talk about it with his friends as if they were his parents. He knew the reasons why they were asking, it was obvious, but it didn’t really make any of this better. “Look, I… I’m sorry about last night, when I just left, I… I really didn’t wanna make you feel guilty, Tommo, I was just… I just couldn’t sit around and wait for her to come home and tell me about… I just needed to… forget about it.”

“Hey, Li, it’s fine, I… I get it, okay? I was just really worried, we all were, and maybe I shouldn’t have told you about the kiss because it was none of my business anyways, I just thought that… that I’d be helping you somehow…” Well, at least it had prevented Liam from almost having to start crying in front of Niall once she would tell him about it again.

“I know, it’s alright, uh… can we just… not talk about this again? And just forget that it happened? It was a mistake and I… I definitely won’t do it again.” Definitely. 

“Sure, Li, um… “ There was some awkward silence all of a sudden right when Liam closed the fridge without having taken anything out and turned around to lean against the counter, staring at the tiles for a little bit before deciding that it was appropriate to try and switch the topic. They had talked about it, it was done, everything was fine.

Or so he had thought.

“So, uh… Niall’s still asleep, right?” Her door was closed and everything, and Liam had already silently thanked the gods for that because god knows what would have happened if she had come to his room like she usually did on Saturday mornings, even if it was actually afternoon to evening already, but… or maybe she wouldn’t have, because Liam hadn’t even bothered telling her where he had gone, the boy would actually understand if Niall was pissed off at him right now. But he’d make up for it in a bit for sure.

“Actually… she’s not really… “ Wait…

“You mean she… she’s in her room and… “ And had possibly just heard everything they had been saying, what the fuck why hadn’t Louis and Harry said something before?! 

“No, I… “ Harry was clearly struggling with his words, throwing a helpless look at his boyfriend and Liam just kept looking from one of them to the other, no idea what the bloody hell was going on here, already about to just go and check Niall’s room himself. Shit, if she wasn’t asleep and not in her room then… “She’s out, uh… she left, hours ago already, when you were still… sleeping.”

“Oh, okay… “ Probably another date, Liam did feel a slight pinch but… he couldn’t really be jealous right now after what he had just done and at least that meant that she wouldn’t find out about… about that stranger in Liam’s bed, right? And she’d be home later and then they could just talk about everything and it’d be fine… right? “Did she say when, uh… when she’ll be back?”

“Not really, but I… Liam, um… there’s something else.” At this point, Harry just leaned back, apparently wanting Louis to do the talking from now and the older boy just sighed, not even looking at Liam and it was honestly the most frustrating thing ever. God, why was all of this so bloody complicated and messed up and why did they always have to make such a big secret out of things and anyways, what could have possibly been worse than the fact that Niall had kissed that other dude yesterday?!

Maybe this. “I didn’t… I was up first this morning and I had no idea that you… had someone with you, I would have stopped her but she… she went into your room, Li. She saw you and… and that girl and… “ 

“Wait… _what_?!” Oh god, this was a nightmare, it had to be one, like… what the fuck?! Niall was surely thinking that Liam had had sex with that other girl and… how messed up would that have been, to just randomly sleep with someone else only 11 days after… oh fucking shit. “I… fuck… was she… was she mad? I mean…”

“Well… I’m not really sure how to interpret any of her reactions but like… she was pretty shocked and then she sounded… terribly jealous.” No way, why was Louis making up lies, _now_?! As if they’d actually make Liam feel better. “And I know you’ll maybe not believe me, but… she pretty much _slammed_ her door shut, and then she pretended like she had a date and left 5 minutes later and I had no idea what to say or how to stop her because she almost ran outside and… Li, I think you really have some things to talk about with her. Last night, I… when she came home and… and we told her you went out…”

“What? What happened?” Honestly, how much worse could this get? Liam already felt so guilty, already had his hand in his pockets, about to get his phone out and just call his best friend and insist that they meet up and talk about all of this, right fucking now.

“Nothing really… she tried to pretend she was fine but she was watching TV with us and… she seemed really disappointed because you… you weren’t there and because you haven’t waited up for her and… yeah, I… I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, I don’t think you have a reason to be because Niall’s going on dates all the time and you barely ever go out with anyone else, I’m just trying to say that… none of this seemed like… like she enjoys knowing you’re with other people or enjoys seeing you with… other girls.” Was that… supposed to make Liam feel better?!

“But wait… none of us actually know where she is for sure? Like… she said it’s a date but… “ But if she had just made that up…

Louis and Harry threw a worried look at each other and Liam wanted to punch something, he knew that Niall wasn’t mad because she had… magically fallen in love with him and was jealous or some shit, she was mad because one, Liam hadn’t bothered to wait up for her even though he faintly remembered telling her that he would while they had had lunch, second, he hadn’t told her where he had been and finally third, the girl had just found him in bed in the room next to hers, drunk and with some stranger who none of them knew only a few days after Liam had slept with _Niall_. God.

“Shit, I gotta… I gotta call her right _now_.” Liam’s hands were shaking as he got his phone out, almost dropping it twice and quietly swearing under his breath, not even surprised when there were no messages on his phone except for two from his other friends he had been with last night. 

His brain hadn’t even comprehended all of this yet, Liam hadn’t even thought about what he was gonna say, all he knew was that he was scared and he felt so guilty that his stomach was twisting into knots and he didn’t even care if Niall was on a date kissing that boy again, he just wanted to know that she was fine and that she wasn’t on her own. This whole situation had really gotten out of control, hadn’t it?

Waiting with his phone pressed to his ear, Liam was nervously biting on his thumbnail, walking up and down in the kitchen while Louis and Harry were watching him quite worriedly, and just when Liam almost felt relieved and thought she had picked up, his heart dropped as he was simply led to her voicemail.

Shit, where the hell was she?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! hope you all liked the chapter, sorry if its getting really dramatic towards the end haha, but the next chapter will be the last one and the 12th one will be an epilogue! let me know if you liked it and thank you so much for reading! :D


	11. Chapter 11

“Why didn’t you ask where she was going?! If it was so clear that her _date_ was made up?!” Liam was honestly going crazy, he had really tried to be calm about this and not freak out, tell himself it would be fine, he had even gone and showered and changed his clothes after his failed attempts to get Niall to pick up her phone. Now though, three more hours had passed and it had already been afternoon before, so naturally, the brunette boy couldn’t help but let it out on Louis and Harry, even if all of this was his own damn fault.

“How was I supposed to know whether she was lying or not?! And anyways, she wouldn’t have answered me, what should I have done, thrown myself on top of her to stop her from leaving?” It was obvious that Harry and Louis were worried as well, clearly not as much as Liam, but still. At least they weren’t getting as mean as the brunette boy though, and started blaming him for all of this because let’s be honest… it _was_ Liam’s fault. “Li, just try and calm down, okay? I know it’s hard but I’m sure Niall is just fine, even if she didn’t go on a date, she knows what she’s doing, she’s a grown up, maybe she just needed some time to… think.”

“Think about _what_?! That’s not like her at all, if she was mad at me, she’d just… ignore me for a bit and then confront me, but she wouldn’t just… run away. She’s been gone for what… 5 hours or so? It’s gonna get fucking dark soon!” Niall probably hated Liam, and she had every right to, even though Liam would have never thought that it’d cause her to react like this and hadn’t he known better, he would have said the girl was jealous. But she wasn’t, why would she be? 

“I told you how she reacted when she saw you with that girl, she didn’t seem mad, only… hurt. Look, I’m sure she will be back, Liam, it’s not helping if you try to call her for the hundredth time or blow her phone up with texts, she’s going to eventually answer or come back home.” There wasn’t as much sincerity in Louis’ voice as Liam would have liked, but he didn’t bother checking his friend’s face, just kept walking up and down in their living room, in front of the couch the other two were sitting on, trying to hold his tears back while clenching his phone in his fist, desperately waiting for it to start vibrating. But it didn’t. 

“What if she doesn’t, Lou? What if… what if something happened to her, what if she got hurt and I… and I didn’t do anything because I let you guys keep me from looking for her and-“

“Where would you even look for her, Liam? We called all of her friends, we even called all the places she likes to go to eat.” Yeah, and wasn’t that alarming enough?! “You’ve got no place to start looking for her and by the time you did, she’d probably be back.”

“We could… we could call… _him_.” Liam had stopped in the middle of the room as that thought had crossed his mind and yeah everything inside of him was against that idea, but if that meant he at least knew Niall was safe and not by herself, he could probably handle it. 

“No, no, that’s a bad idea. She probably really is on a date with him and it’d be awkward as hell, not only for us but also for her. And anyways, none of us has his phone number, I don’t even know his last name or where he lives. We’ll just try and calm down and I promise you if she’s not back by tomorrow morning, we’re gonna like… call the police.” Louis’ voice was still way too calm for Liam, his words had made the other’s eyes grow wide, not being able to believe that Harry and Louis could just sit there and pretend like this wasn’t serious.

“ _Tomorrow?!_ She could be _dead_ by tomorrow, are you fucking crazy, I-“

“Li, she’s not dead, okay? She said she was on a date and she also looked like she was going on one so I’m gonna assume that’s the truth, also because she isn’t texting you back or anything.” The last part had come out a bit more careful, but Liam didn’t even care because he was already about to burst out crying both from being angry at himself but mostly out of worry. What the fuck would he do if something had happened to her? Niall was everything to him, that girl was his whole world and he had gotten her to run away because he was such a fucking prick and he surely deserved not knowing where she was but holy shit, what if she wouldn’t come back?! What if… what if she did come back and never forgave him? What if their whole friendship got ruined because of this?!

“She always texts me back though, even if she’s on dates and… and she would have answered by now if she wasn’t mad at me. I gotta do something… I gotta go looking for her or… or keep calling her, I can’t just… stand here and do nothing.” The worst part was that Liam knew there was nothing he could have done, nothing at all, and it took all the strength he had left to not start throwing stuff around or just sit down and start sobbing. This was terrible, they hadn’t even had a fight or anything, Niall had just left, hadn’t even given him the chance to give her an explanation, tell her that he hadn’t even slept with that girl, that it had been mistake, that he had just been… jealous. Right now, Liam would have even told Niall the whole entire truth about his feeling for her if only it’d get her to come back home. 

“There’s nothing we can do, Liam, she’s going to come back home, I promise, she just needs to clear her head and then you two can talk this whole thing out and-“

“And _what?!_ She probably hates me. And she should, I was such a fucking idiot, I… she probably thinks I don’t even care that… that we had sex and that I just went looking for some other girl and… and I don’t even know why it got her this mad, I mean, I know she’s hurt but… I would have thought she’d yell at me instead.” None of this made sense anymore, but in all honesty, this whole situation had stopped making sense a while ago and all Liam had really been wishing for had been for his and Niall’s friendship to not be affected by any of this. And now he had gone and had made exactly that happen. “God, why did I do that, why did I… why did I get so drunk, I just… I should have waited for her to come home and tell me about that kiss and… I’m such an arsehole, I can’t even be happy for her, I only ever think about what _I_ want, no wonder she-“

“Payno, stop, okay? You _never_ think about what _you_ want, never, you always put her first. You got drunk because you wanted to forget about what happened and yeah, it’s not the best way to deal with this but you’re a grown up and so is Niall. You don’t have to wait up for her if you don’t want to, you can be in bed with as many people as you like and she has no right to be angry with you at all because just because you had sex doesn’t mean you can’t sleep with other people. I think the reason she disappeared is a completely different one.” Great, was this going to be another kind of speech? At least it was momentarily distracting Liam, though he was still walking up and down, kinda glad that Harry was just keeping quiet because he always pitied Liam to such an extreme extend that the boy started to feel terribly sorry for himself. 

“What was the reason then?” If he started to try and tell Liam once more that there was still hope the younger boy would honestly hit him.

“Jealousy.” Alright, that was it.

“Stop saying that shit, okay?! We all know she’s not fucking jealous, why would-“

“No, Liam, calm the fuck down, okay? What I’m _trying_ to tell you has nothing at all to do with the fact that I still think you should just tell her how you feel about her. What I’m trying to tell you is that never before did you _ever_ put another girl before her, and this has nothing to do with what any of you feels for the other, it just means Niall isn’t used to having to share you. And suddenly she goes on a date and you’re not there waiting up for her because you went out with someone else and then the next morning you’ve got a random girl in your bed. Niall’s not used to that, and maybe it was kinda good that she saw how you’ve been feeling ever since she started going out with that boy, even if maybe that was on another level, but it’s still kinda the same. You’ve both been taking each other for granted, not in the bad way, just… Niall never really thought you’d ever put anyone above her and _you_ always tried pushing away the thought of her getting into a relationship and things changing.” When Louis was finished, Liam was just staring at him with a slightly dropped jaw, not really knowing what to say because… well, it did make sense, didn’t it?

“But… but then how are we supposed to carry on, like… “ Neither of them would forever be single, at some point, Niall _would_ have a boyfriend and then Liam would have to move on and at some point hopefully find a girl he loved more than his best friend, even if that was impossible. “We’ve never… we’ve always been like _that_ , all the girls I’ve been with… Niall knows I didn’t like them like _that_ and it never interfered with our friendship, but… I don’t know how I’ll ever move on, and if what you say is true and she’s jealous then how… how’d we ever manage to stay friends?!”

At this point, Liam was so distressed that he almost let a tear escape, he was aware that he was almost yelling at Louis by now, not out of anger though but because he was so desperate for his friend to just give him a bloody answer, tell him what to do to finally make all of this more bearable. But maybe Liam could have lived without hearing what Louis told him next. “You gotta tell her how you feel, Liam. I know you don’t wanna do that because you think it’ll ruin everything but I’ll tell you what, there’s only two things that could happen. One, she starts to feel sorry for you and immediately stops going on dates for a while and eventually you’ll just both move on from it or two, she finally reconsiders her feelings for you and comes to the conclusion that you two are meant to be with each other.”

“She could also get really mad and… and grossed out and annoyed or-“

“Was she _ever_ annoyed with you before? No. Was she grossed out when she _asked_ you to sleep with her? No. She’s your best friend, mate, since almost all your lives, she won’t drop you because you admit that you’re in love with her and having her pity you for a few days is still better than never once opening your mouth because one day she’s gonna call you up and tell you she’s getting married to somebody else and you’ll forever regret not having said anything. Even if it doesn’t end the way you want it to end, you still gotta at least try.” Shit.

At this stage, Liam had no idea anymore what to say, he was just looking at the floor now, knowing deep down that Louis was right because he had known it for ages, had just been too scared to actually consider doing it. Niall wouldn’t be mad, would she? She liked being close to Liam, she liked kissing him and she had enjoyed sleeping with him, maybe she’d try to be more distant once he told her but that’d probably pass, right? It’s just… what if she actually _told_ Liam she had no feelings for him at all, did he really want to kill off that tiny last piece of hope that kept coming back?

“I-“

Before Liam could say anything, he almost dropped his phone straight to the floor as it started going off like crazy. His hear was skipping at least twenty beats as the boy looked down at the screen, seeing the picture of himself and Niall that was always there when the girl called him and his mouth went dry and his throat tight as he tried to pick up with a really shaky thumb, immediately pressing the phone to his ear. Oh thank _god_ she was alright.

“Niall?! Where are you, I-“

“L-Li… “ A really loud sob immediately caused Liam to freeze, somehow he was aware of Louis and Harry both staring at him, but Niall was _crying_ into the damn phone and the boy felt his insides twist painfully, unable to move just his little finger all of a sudden. “C-Can y-you… p-pick m-me u-up, p-please? I… I-I’m s-sorry… “

 

\------------

 

“Niall, where the hell are you?! What happened, I… shit.” Hearing Liam swearing into the phone wasn’t very surprising, Niall was just glad to hear his voice, trying her very hardest to keep her voice steady and stop crying but she simply couldn’t. She had really fucked up, she didn’t deserve Liam coming to get her but the girl knew he would and she had already called him before even thinking any of this through. She just wanted to be with him right now and have him hug her and tell her it’d be fine and never ever let her go again. “Ni, babe, you gotta tell me where you are, okay? And what happened, do I need to… call anyone, the police or-“

“N-No… just p-please c-come and g-get me… “ Having gotten the worst hiccup now, Niall rubbed her eye as she glanced up to somehow read the street sign and the house number, feeling sick to her stomach as she thought about having to wait here until Liam got her, but it only came to her mind after having sobbed the address into the phone, her whole body shivering and feeling gross as hell. “I-I’m s-sorry, L-Liam… i-it’s a-all m-my f-fault… “

“Shh, it’s okay, nothing is your fault, okay? I’m gonna come and get you, Ni, everything will be fine, yeah? No matter what happened. Are you hurt? Did anybody like… do something to you?” Those questions weren’t weird considering the fact that Niall had ignored 30 of Liam’s calls and about 50 texts, but it hit very close to home and yet she decided to lie. She couldn’t tell him, not ever the bloody phone.

“N-No… just p-please h-hurry…” The girl could barely even stand it anymore, keeping a worried glance at the front door of the building, shivering like crazy as she tried to tell herself not to freak the hell out. 

“I’m on my way, okay? It’ll be fine, Nialler, I’m gonna get you, just stay where you are, yeah?” His voice was so soft, but there was panic hidden somewhere, some background noises as well, and the girl knew she had gotten Liam incredibly worried, on full purpose, and she felt so bad and so guilty for it that she wanted to throw up. Almost as much as she wanted to throw up over what had just happened a few minutes ago. “Ni, I-“

And then all of a sudden, his voice got caught off in the middle of the sentence.

“L-Li?! L-Liam?!” At first, Niall thought he had hung up, but as she stared at her pretty much dead phone, she realized that she had completely forgotten to charge it overnight and _shit_ , now was the worst bloody time for it to stop working. Niall was going to die here, Liam would never ever find his way here by just knowing the address and she couldn’t leave and… oh god, there weren’t even any cars going by, no people walking past, it was just Niall crying and hugging herself while shivering and feeling like absolute shit.

Right now she would have gladly seen Liam in bed with 2 random girls at once if only she could erase this day from her mind.

They hadn’t agreed to go on a date today, Niall had just needed to get out of the flat and deal with her emotions and feelings for a bit, still feeling so damn angry and jealous though that she had called him up after a few hours of walking around without a goal, had pretty much begged to see him and maybe she had overdone everything a little, had been too flirty, had kissed him immediately even before saying hello even though the thought of it had made her shudder. And then, after they had gone for a walk and for something to eat, the girl had pretty much used all of the little knowledge she had from movies or whatever to try and get him to take her to his flat.

And he had, a lot more quickly and more willing than the girl would have thought.

She had never enjoyed a second of it, had been thinking about Liam the entire day, but it had gotten even worse once they had been upstairs, once they had been snogging and his hands had been all over her and grabbing at her clothes, his taste so unfamiliar and his clean shaven skin against hers feeling kind of weird. But still, Niall had played along, had told herself she wanted this, had tried to push every thought of her best friend out of her mind as she had kissed that other boy even harder. 

It had only been when they had really gotten into this, when his hands had been under her shirt and massaging her breasts through her bra without even having asked whether he was moving too fast, whether Niall was alright, he had just kept going, kissing down her neck, having pretty much shoved her on the bed after unhooking her bra, his hands touching her way too harshly and too firmly, to a point where it almost hurt.

And then, after only like 5 minutes of this, he had started to go for Niall’s jeans, and that was when the girl had stopped him, knowing that she wouldn’t have survived this, she was thinking about Liam the whole time, how she didn’t ever want to be this intimate with anybody that wasn’t him, never wanted to kiss anybody else or have them touch her like this. Somehow though, that realization had almost made her cry.

Even more so when her request to stop had simply been ignored.

He hadn’t forced himself on Niall, but he had tried convincing her, had told her to be quiet and just kept going for a while until the girl almost had to cry for real because she had had no idea how to get him to stop and leave her be, her whole body feeling gross from where he had touched her, and her mouth as well, wanting to wash it out with soap even now.

It had led to a big fight, once the girl had almost kicked him in the gut, and she would have never thought that she could have been so wrong about a person, like yeah, she had known he was desperate to sleep with her, but until now, they had never gotten into a situation like this. Honestly, Niall would have never thought that he’d keep going after she had told him to stop, had almost begged him to, or that he would call her all the things he did before half throwing her out and at that point, Niall had already been crying like a baby, already trying to call Liam on her way downstairs and now she was literally in front of the fucking building not being able to go anywhere else because her phone was dead.

Pretty sure Niall had never felt this gross, had never regretted anything so much, had never been so bloody wrong about a person. Had she not already been wanting to end this before, she sure as hell did now. Like yeah, she had kinda been leading him on, but they hadn’t been dating, and Niall was pretty sure that even if he had been mad at her for making him wait for so long, he didn’t have the right to force himself on her and ignore all he requests and hurt her before even starting. It had been so fucking horrible that Niall felt new tears coming each time she was reminded of it. 

The girl didn’t even know where she was, they had taken the bus to a part of the city she had never been to and now she was almost freaking out thinking about that because how the fuck would Liam ever get here? How would he ever be able to find her and it was already getting dark as well and Niall was so scared and she just needed a hug and to finally see her best friend again after not talking to him for more than a whole day. Niall didn’t even care anymore if Liam would ever return her feelings, she knew she just wanted him and nobody else, and seeing how emotional she was right now, she’d probably blurt out with it the second he’d show up.

Provided he did ever show up of course, because it didn’t seem to be a very realistic scenario.

Niall had no idea how long she had been standing there, freezing her ass off and at the same time shivering for no reason at all, not even wanting to touch her own clothes to try and fix them some more, or her hair, she just wanted to throw all of it away and go shower for 5 hours to wash those touches off and brush her teeth to get that taste out of her mouth. It was her own fault, she had wanted it, had wanted to… pay Liam back or some shit even if he wouldn’t have even cared, but Niall had been so hurt and jealous and now… now she had to pay for it. 

Though it seemed like ages had passed ever since Niall’s phone had run out of battery, the girl didn’t manage to stop crying, her face burning and wet, as were her hands from trying to dry her cheeks a little bit but nothing at all would help. She was aching to just see Liam and have him hold her and apologize one billion times to him until he would forgive her and everything would be back to the way it had been before she had gotten the dumb idea to go on a date with somebody that wasn’t her best friend. 

When there was a sound coming from the building, Niall almost broke her neck as she turned her head, having stared down the empty and by now kinda dark street, feeling her blood turning to ice as she saw _him_ , his face being lit up by the street lights, still as angry as before, automatically causing her to take about 5 steps backwards, her heart bumping ten times as fast. For the first time ever, Niall was actually afraid someone might hit her or do even worse.

“You’re still here?! What the fuck are you waiting for, just leave, and while you’re at it, delete my number! And stop crying like a baby, _you_ wanted it, you were asking for it, it’s your own damn fault for promising me something and then telling me to stop and kicking me, you’re fucking crazy!” He was yelling around loud enough for the whole neighbourhood to hear even before he had reached Niall and the girl was so scared that she just had to cry even more, still hugging herself, taking more steps back when she saw just how angry he was, how hard his face was and his harsh voice. “What? Can’t you talk anymore? You’re such a joke, Niall, you should be glad I even wanted to touch you, I know you’re a virgin and with that attitude, you’re going to stay one your whole life. No one likes a girl like you that wants to stop in the middle of it after making them wait for ages.”

“I-I’m n-not… a v-virgin… “ No idea why Niall felt the need to clarify this, but she could barely even think, the boy’s fake laugh causing goose bumps to rise all over her body, causing her to take yet another step back, almost stumbling this time. She was so scared of him that it was almost insane to think that she had ever enjoyed his company.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, of course you are. Who’d ever wanna sleep with you, huh? You’ve never even been on a date before me and you’re twenty years old, maybe you should have just been glad someone dropped their standards enough to go out with you. Maybe you could ask that boy of yours, what’s his name? Liam? Bet he would wanna give it to you, or is he already annoyed that you’re running after him like a stupid dog? Wouldn’t surprise me.” It was obvious that he was angry, that maybe he didn’t mean all of this 100% but it honestly didn’t matter because those things were still leaving his mouth and though Niall knew it had been her good right to tell him to stop, she still felt guilty for ever having initiated it. She should have just told him they should stop meeting up, should have just… ended it before this mess had gotten even bigger.

“P-Please s-stop… “ What else did Niall have left other than begging? There was no single person around, not even cars, and even though she kept taking steps back, kept hugging herself as if she could somehow shield her body this way, he was just coming closer, his face hard and full of anger and yet with a smirk so evil that it scared the girl even more. What was he gonna do? Force her to go back upstairs with him and… and finish what she had started? Would he do that? Just… _force_ himself on her?! He had almost done it before, had Niall not kicked him and almost fled out of his flat and just thinking back at it caused the girl’s heart to beat even faster. Where was Liam, she really, really needed him right now, maybe more than ever before.

“Stop _what_? I didn’t do anything, _you_ wanted it, you wanted to go out, you wanted to come back to my flat and you wanted to sleep with me so don’t try to blame me for chickening out and being a little pussy. Honestly, our dates weren’t that great, I would have dumped you anyways if today hadn’t happened but you can be _sure_ that I’ll tell your friends about how much of a little pussy you are and how desperate you were for it before, like a slut.” It was getting to a point where he wasn’t even yelling anymore, he was actually just laughing at Niall for still crying, for shaking so badly that she felt like she’d have to pass out any second. “I do think you owe me to at least finish this, it was your idea after all, you got me started and then you kicked me and ran outside, so who’s at fault, really?”

“I-I…. I d-don’t want t-to… just l-leave me a-alone, I-I’d n-never… s-sleep with you, I n-never… w-wanna s-see you a-again… “ She would have to eventually, but Niall was just desperate to get him to leave, she was so afraid of him just dragging her with him or something, or touch her again or try to kiss her, her stomach rebelling at the thought. She should have _ran_ away when she had had the chance before, shouldn’t have stopped in front of his damn building and only called Liam from a few blocks away but… none of these things had been on Niall’s mind before, all she had been thinking about had been that she wanted Liam to come and get her and protect her and make everything alright again, like he always did.

“Really? Such a shame, just a bit ago you seemed pretty damn eager for it.” With that, Niall suddenly felt her back hitting the wall of the next building, not having realized that she had basically trapped herself when the boy had come even closer, taking another step before he was completely in her space once more, a creepy smile on his face, causing Niall to turn her head, trying to stay as still as somewhat possible when she felt him coming even closer, his breath almost ghosting over skin. He wasn’t gonna let her go, no way. “You know… maybe I’ll think about telling all your stupid friends about this if you come back upstairs and take care of the mess you created.”

“N-No… N-No, don’t… l-let me g-go…” Niall was aware that she was whimpering, but she didn’t know what else to do, almost choking on her own words as she felt his hand wrapping around her wrist and she knew she had lost already, she wouldn’t ever be strong enough to free herself and she didn’t know whether she was still even able to scream for help. What the hell had she gotten herself into, how the hell could this be happening?! “I’ll s-scream if y-you don’t-“

“No, you won’t, you would have already done it by now. Come on, Niall, you’ll like it, I promise, you owe me this, remember? It was all your idea.” His grip on her was really tight and no matter how hard the girl tried to resist, she was almost forced to walk a few steps with him, almost falling straight forward onto her face, his fingers wrapped so tightly around her that he was cutting off her blood circulation.

“L-Let g-go… p-please… _p-please_ let me g-go!” Though Niall’s words broke on a sob, she was aware that she had started to be louder, immediately causing her to whimper in pain when she felt the grip around her tighten even more, probably as a punishment. She was actually going to die, he was going to drag her all the way back up to his flat and force himself on her and there was no one who’d be able to save her, Liam would never find his way here, he wouldn’t be able to protect Niall, not this time. And the worst part was, it was her own entire fault.

“Shut your whore mouth, Niall, I’m not about to rape you, I simply want you to do what you promised me to do, so c’mon now, don’t be such a fucking baby, you can be so bloody annoying.” Maybe she was, maybe Niall had been annoying him all along, maybe he had just kept on asking her on dates because this was actually what he had wanted, get her into bed, maybe because Niall had been easy to get, not in that sense but in general. She had been desperate for attention and now that she had gotten it, it had turned into her worst nightmare. 

“S-Stop! I d-don’t w-want t-to!” There was no point in screaming because Niall wasn’t loud enough and they were almost back at the entrance door of his building and the girl was pretty sure that even if she would have tried to lie on the floor, he would have kept dragging her along, he was so much stronger than her, the girl stood no fucking chance. If only she had stayed home, had waited for the girl to leave and then just sneaked into Liam’s bed and talked about everything with him, apologized, squeezed in a few cuddles and just spent time with the one person she wanted to be with every single second of the day. And now instead, she had been thrown straight into a bloody nightmare.

“I said shut your mouth, alright? We can do this the easy way or the hard one, I don’t really care, but I can promise you right now that-“

“ _Niall?!_ ” The voice came out of nowhere, causing the girl to flinch terribly, at first thinking she had just been hallucinating, the grip around her wrist getting even tighter as they both immediately turned their heads to search for the source and honestly, Niall had never felt this relieved in her whole entire life, tears streaming down her face as she saw Liam, phone in his hand and just having walked around the corner, or half jogged more like, his expression nothing but shocked for a second. And then it turned to anger.

“L-Li-“

“Get your _fucking_ hands off of her or I’ll make sure that’s the last time you’ve ever used them.” He wasn’t screaming, but his voice was harsher and deeper than Niall had ever heard it before, almost giving her shivers had she not been so relieved to see her best friend, barely even able to see through all those tears, still trying to desperately fight against the grip around her.

“Who the fuck are you?! This is none of your goddamn business, we’re having a conversation here and you-“

“I said, _let her go_.” This time, Liam almost snapped, Niall could tell, she really wanted to run and hug him and just hide behind him and have him protect her from everything bad happening, but Liam had only just gotten here, quickly walking across the empty street and besides, the girl was being held back anyways.

“And what if I don’t, huh? You gonna punch me?” And that’s exactly what Liam did.

It all happened so quickly that Niall had no time to react, all she knew was that suddenly the grip around her was gone, causing her to loose balance and land straight on her butt, her sight blurry and ears ringing, needing a moment or two before she realized what had happened. Liam had just punched that guy straight in the face and it was all going so fast that the girl barely had any time to be worried about her best friend, her wrist felt like it had been torn off as she tried to get her coordination back and somehow get back to her feet, well aware that the two guys were still going at each other.

“L-Liam…. L-Li, s-stop!” Niall had no idea what was even going on, all she knew was that she was crying and that she didn’t want Liam to get hurt because of her but she also couldn’t step in because she knew she would have eventually gotten hurt as well. Which was still better than Liam getting hurt. 

“If you _ever_ touch her again, I’m going to find you and break your fucking neck, got it? If you even do as much as _look_ at her I’m gonna break your damn face you fucking prick, stay the hell away from us.” Niall had just been standing there watching and crying, not knowing how to help Liam or what to do, but when her best friend shoved the other guy off of him and Niall saw the blood running down the asshole’s face, she momentarily felt nothing but pride.

“You’re fucking crazy, I’ll fucking call the police on you, you psycho! And _you_ -“ As soon as his eyes focused on Niall, blood streaming down his face, the girl felt herself freeze up, only for the split of a second though because Liam was there not even a moment later, shoving the girl behind himself and shielding her with his body while Niall just grabbed onto his shirt as tightly as possible, never wanting to let him go again. “Don’t think I’m just gonna let you get away with this, Niall, I promise this will have consequences, you can’t always have your bodyguard with you, you’re a slut and a-“

“If I were you I’d better run before I’m making your mouth bleed as well.” Liam’s voice was only a snarl and Niall pressed her face deeper into his shirt, heavily breathing in his familiar scent, keeping her eyes pressed shut, the shock still very present in her bones, making it impossible to stop shivering. Though Liam was here now and the girl knew everything would be just fine, the fact that he had almost been too late, the thought of what could have happened if he had was scaring Niall so much she felt like throwing up yet again. 

There were some more curses, and the girl tried her best to stay still and not go into panic mode again, tried her very hardest to just calm down, but it was pretty hard doing so when she had been crying for what seemed like hours, when she had just been thinking for the few most awful minutes of her life that he was actually going to drag her back up into his room and… oh god, Niall couldn’t even finish that thought without almost choking.

The girl had no idea really what happened next, all she knew was to keep her eyes pressed closed and to keep clinging to Liam until he suddenly reached behind himself and softly loosened her grip and before Niall could complain, she was enveloped into a very well needed and very tight hug, her face pressed right into Liam’s neck as she sobbed against his skin, holding him so tightly that she was probably hurting him but he never said a word about it.

“Niall… shsh, it’s okay, babe, I’m here, he’s never gonna touch you again, I promise, I’ll make sure he’ll stay away as far as possible, everything’s okay, Nialler, I won’t let anything happen to you, never.” His words were calming, he was half mumbling them into the girl’s hair, rocking them both a bit, pressing occasional kisses onto the top of her head while Niall just tried her hardest to somehow cope. 

“I-I’m s-so s-sorry… I-I d-didn’t… d-didn’t wanna i-ignore y-your c-calls a-and texts I-I j-just… “ She had just been jealous as hell and though it had kinda felt good to know that Liam still cared all the same about her after she had had slight doubts last night, Niall felt like a fucking idiot now, that she had honestly let it get to her this much, that she had gotten herself into a situation like this.

“Shh, it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize, Ni, it was my fault, okay? Not yours. We can talk about it when we’re home, yeah? I just… what exactly happened? What did he do to you, did he hurt you?” Of course Liam wanted to know, he had just thrown punches for Niall and had been searching for her for god knows how long, the girl didn’t even know where they were, and even if saying it out loud was the last thing she wanted to do right now, she still forced herself to take a deep breath, tightening her arms around Liam’s middle, her face buried against his warm skin. 

“It w-was my fault… I-I… I w-wanted t-to… but t-then… I k-kissed him, L-Li… y-yesterday d-day, but… I d-didn’t l-like it b-but then… I don’t k-know… I s-saw y-you this m-morning w-with… that o-other g-girl and I-I’m s-sorry I know i-it’s none of m-my b-business w-who y-you sleep w-with… I w-was just…h-hurt… a-and t-then I m-met u-up with h-him and I a-asked h-him t-to… g-go back t-to h-his place a-and… b-but he w-was so r-rough and… I w-wanted to s-stop but h-he d-didn’t w-want t-to a-and we f-fought a-and I k-kicked h-him a-and ran o-outside a-and c-called you, but… m-my b-battery died a-and… a-and t-then he came a-after m-me a-and… h-he s-started i-insulting me a-again a-and h-he w-wanted t-to d-drag m-me b-back upstairs, I-I… i-it’s m-my f-fault, a-all o-of it… “ The girl almost fainted because it was so hard for her to form clear sentences, still shaking with Liam’s arms around her, not even embarrassed anymore about having telling him that she been hurt seeing him with someone else, honestly, did it really matter anymore, Niall could have as well told Liam right at this second that she was in love with him. 

“You told him to stop and he just… kept going?” His voice had changed, it was still quiet but not really soft anymore, it was shocked with a hint of anger and Niall couldn’t really say that she was surprised.

“Y-Yes… “ Was all she brought, trying to somehow bury herself deeper in Liam’s body, she was so grateful that he had come, that he had saved her and forgiven her and that he was just _here_ , that was all that mattered. “I-Is h-he g-gone…?”

“Yeah, he walked back inside that fucking coward. I wish he didn’t though, another blue eye would have really suited him. I swear to god I’m gonna kill him.” Liam was angry, but he still never missed a beat while rocking Niall in his arms, his grip on her never loosening either.

“I-It’s o-okay bean, I… I’m f-fine, y-you-“

“You’re not _fine_ , Nialler, and you shouldn’t be. He had no right to keep going when you wanted him to stop, or call you all these things or try to _drag_ you back upstairs… god, if I hadn’t come, I… I almost didn’t find it, I had to search on my phone the whole time and take a taxi but it dropped me off two streets away… “ Oh god, if he had only been 5 minutes late or something, Niall could have been in that flat upstairs, lying on a bed and trying to get away while she would have been held down and… 

“S-Sorry… “ No idea why she kept apologizing, but it was her fault after all, even if Liam had said it wasn’t. Still, Niall had had no right to be jealous or freak out like that and ignore all his calls and texts, it had been pretty immature and also, she shouldn’t have tried to get someone to sleep with her who she didn’t even like just because she had kinda wanted to get back at Liam, even if he wouldn’t have even cared.

“Shh, stop apologizing, okay? Everything is gonna be fine now, I promise, I’m here.” He still hadn’t really commented much on what Niall had said before, completely having ignored the thing she had said about having seen him this morning, maybe he didn’t wanna get her embarrassed. “Should we go home? I think there’s a bus stop over there… “

“Okay… “ There were still occasional tears coming and Niall felt cold now and in need of even more cuddles, unwillingly allowing Liam to pull back a bit, but the girl’s thoughts quickly changed once she had blinked a few times and looked up into Liam’s face, his hands resting on her arms. “You’re b-bleeding!”

“It’s not too bad, just a bit of a scratch.” It looked way worse though, it was right above his eyebrow and Niall felt her heart drop to her stomach as she stared at the wound. This was _her_ fault.

“W-Wait, I got s-some t-tissues and-“

“Ni, it’s okay, I promise. I’m completely fine, he only got me this one time and it doesn’t even hurt, I got him way worse.” Liam had somehow sounded proud, pressing a kiss onto Niall’s forehead and wiping some of her tears with his thumbs before moving his arm around her shoulders too quickly for her to react and start searching through her bag. “C’mon, let’s go home, okay? It’s alright.”

“O-Okay… thank y-you for… for s-saving me and for… for breaking h-his nose… “ No idea if he really had but it had quite looked like it and yeah all the blood had been gross but Niall still couldn’t help but feel slightly proud that Liam had started a fist fight for her for the second time already and maybe it was inappropriate, but when their eyes met, they ever so slightly smiled at each other.

“I’ll always come save you, babe, you know that. And I’ll break any body part of his you want me to, just let me know.” It was supposed to be a joke, but judging by how Liam’s jaw was yet again clenching as they started walking down the street, Niall was pretty sure that he would have done it if she had asked him to. Even though, she was fairly certain that there wouldn’t be a reason to, Liam could be really intimidating if he wanted to. 

Making sure to wrap her arm around Liam’s waist and momentarily leaning her head against her best friend while walking, Niall still felt fucking gross and angry at herself and just overall like shit, but at least she had Liam with her now and at least he wasn’t mad at her and he was going to protect her from everything that could have possibly happened and knowing that was enough for Niall for now. For the way home, it didn’t really matter that she was hopelessly in love with Liam, that she had caught him in bed with someone else and that she had made a huge mistake today, all that really mattered to Niall right now was that she had the best friend in the whole entire world.

 

\----------------------

 

Liam was more than just furious, he could have actually crushed that guy’s skull in, for a moment there, he had actually been thinking about hurting him really badly, so badly that maybe he couldn’t have been spitting out dumb shit anymore afterwards before running off. The boy couldn’t fucking believe that this had happened, that Niall had… that she had wanted to _sleep_ with that arsehole, just because she had seen Liam in bed with this girl. 

None of this made any sense to the brunette boy, all he was certain of was that he was so fucking angry at himself that he could have cried along with Niall. That guy could have actually raped her, he would have, and just thinking about how close he had been to actually doing it caused Liam to hold onto Niall even tighter, right now not caring about the fact that they really needed to have a talk because he was just so glad to have her back, and safe, after his heart had almost jumped out when she had called and Liam had left head over heels without telling Harry and Louis anything at all. Not the right thing to do, but the girl had been _sobbing_ into her phone and then the battery had run out and… god, when Liam had found her, he thought he had seen his life flashing before his eyes.

The way home was rather quiet, Liam just made sure to always hold onto Niall, made sure she knew he was there, even tried to talk about a few brighter topics though it seemed kinda inappropriate. They even found the bus station on accident and Liam felt his stomach turning as he realized just how close that fucking idiot actually lived to them. Niall on the other hand didn’t really seem to notice it luckily, she was just clinging to Liam, hugging his arm once they were on the bus and putting her head on his shoulder, her sniffs and shivers eventually dying down and had Liam not just had the worst scare of his entire life, he might have been enjoying her cuddly and needy mood.

Obviously, Harry and Louis had been calling Liam more than just a few times and the boy did feel bad but Niall was his number one priority, she always was, but if there was one thing Liam knew, it was that he would not let this girl out of his sight for the next few weeks. “Ni… what should we tell Louis and Harry?”

“I… I’ll tell them, j-just… please not now.” They were slowly walking up the stairs to their flat, holding hands and Niall’s free one clenched around Liam’s wrist as well, as if she was afraid he’d let her go. As if he would ever.

“Anything you want, babe… I’ll handle it, okay? You can just go to your room or mine and… and we can talk, if you want.” Maybe she didn’t want to, Liam threw a worried look at the side of his best friend’s face, her cheeks still flushed and eyes red shot, but other than that, she was pretty fucking pale. She wouldn’t like… go into shock, right? Should Liam have called the police? But what would he have said? 

“Yeah… I do want to, just, I… I’ll shower before that, I think… “ The last part had come out more quiet and careful, giving Liam a pinch to the heart as he realized just how gross Niall must have been feeling. For once, he wasn’t happy about the fact that the girl hadn’t been enjoying her time with this guy. 

“Of course, Ni, do whatever you need to do, okay? We can always talk later, don’t worry about it.” Trying to be somewhat positive, Liam pressed a kiss onto her temple once they had reached their door, giving her hand a tight squeeze as he fumbled for his keys with his free one. “Okay?”

“Yeah… “ At least she had stopped crying and shaking, Liam had been so scared right afterwards when he had hugged her and she hadn’t even been able to speak properly. 

Liam knew that all hell would break lose once they walked in there, and he knew that it was the last thing the girl needed right now, but there was really nothing he could have done. After all, Harry and Louis had been worried sick also, and maybe also now about Liam since he had randomly disappeared as well. Thinking about what Liam and Niall were putting the other two through with all their drama, it was a wonder they still wanted to stick around.

“I- Where the fuck have you guys been?! You can’t just… fucking run off, both of you! What the hell happened?!” Louis was up on his feet within two seconds, his face angry while Harry’s behind him clearly relaxed upon seeing Liam and Niall enter. It would have almost been comical had it not been so damn serious. “Where in god’s name have you been all day, Niall?! And is that _blood_ on your head, Liam?!”

“Go to the bathroom, I’ll get you some new clothes in a second, okay?” Liam had immediately felt Niall flinching under Louis’ loud voice, half whispering to her, thumb rubbing over hers before he slowly pulled his hand away once the girl was nodding, not once lifting her head though. Shit. 

“You can’t just- what is she doing? Liam?” Louis had every right to be mad and demand answers, Liam knew that, but he still made sure that Niall had disappeared in the bathroom and locked the door before glaring at his other friend, carelessly taking his shoes off as he stepped further into their flat, slowly shaking his head at Louis as an indicator to stop.

“Look, we’ll explain it later, okay? Please don’t yell around, I’m sorry I left so quickly, but… if you knew what happened you’d understand.” Trying to talk as quietly as possible so Niall wouldn’t hear, Liam was really hoping that this was enough to shut Louis up because he could have definitely not told him without having Niall’s consent. “I promise I’ll tell you, just not now.”

“What do you mean?! I-“

“Babe, it’s okay. They’re both back and alright.” Finally, Harry stood up as well and decided to step in, taking Louis’ hand and Liam threw the youngest boy a weak smile, kinda also because he wanted to apologize a little bit. “Do you need some space, Li? We’ll just be in Louis’ room, call if anything’s wrong, okay?”

“Yeah, of course, thank you so much, Haz. And also… I’m really sorry.” More than that, Liam also directed it at Louis but the older boy was just pouting now for simply having been cut off, rolling his eyes as soon as he met Liam’s. Well, he’d eventually get over it.

“It’s okay… “ And then, right before Harry was about to pull his still pissed off boyfriend with him, his face turned a bit sadder as he searched for Liam’s eyes once more and the brunette could feel his heart drop a little bit at the question. “Was it him? That hit you on the forehead, I mean?”

Only giving a small nod, Liam almost felt guilty for telling them, but it’s not like it had been very hard to guess anyways. “Yeah, but… it’s fine now, it’ll be alright.”

“Okay, that’s all that matters. Good luck.” Hell, Liam could need tons of that.

Niall seemed to shower for hours on end, Liam made sure to bring her her favorite comfy clothes, just knocking on the door before leaving them there so she could get them herself. Even though Louis and Harry had gone to Louis’ room, Liam decided that he didn’t wanna wait in the living room for his best friend, it’d be like… _forcing_ her to talk to him or something, maybe she wanted to be left alone, it would have really worried him, but of course he would have let her.

Instead, Liam went into his own room, sitting on his bed for a while before eventually half lying down, his heart hurting as he thought about why Niall was showering for so long, and he heard her brushing her teeth as well, for at least ten minutes straight. Maybe he should have really called the police or… or just done anything at all really instead of simply hugging her tightly. Then again, it seemed like she had needed exactly that.

For a moment, Liam was almost scared Niall would just go into her own room as he heard the bathroom door unlock, that she’d just hide away from all of them and not come out anymore until tomorrow, the thought scaring the boy so much that he almost didn’t notice the footsteps coming closer until he saw Niall’s figure appearing in the doorway, immediately helping to reduce his anxiety.

“Hey… “ Not knowing how to behave really, Liam just worriedly watched the girl carefully closing the door before coming over to the bed, her hair was wet and she was wearing Liam’s old shirt he had given to her ages ago. He had given her an option of two shirts, one of them having been her own, and yeah it was stupid, but it made him really happy that she had chosen this way. “Are you… are you okay so far?”

“Yeah… ‘m good, Li.” Didn’t sound very convincing, but at least she looked at him while speaking, unexpectedly climbing on the bed and all over the mattress until she could straddle the boy’s hips, sitting on his stomach and Liam’s breath almost hitched before he realized what she was doing all of this for. “It stopped bleeding.”

“I… yeah… “ Feeling kinda breathless, Liam only now noticed what Niall had brought with her from the bathroom, flinching the tiniest bit as the girl pressed a wet tissue against his wound, very gently though, her face concentrated as she was wiping up the remaining blood and Liam suddenly had a really tight throat. All of this had happened to her, and now _she_ was taking care of him? 

“Does it hurt?” A little bit, but Liam was definitely not going to say that.

“No, it’s fine, babe… thank you.” He watched her as she kept cleaning his wound before taking the small band aid, pulling off the paper before carefully putting it on the side of his forehead, momentarily leaning over to put the remaining items on the bedside table and then, before Liam could even open his mouth, the girl had kissed his cheek and spread herself out all over him, face pushed against his throat, chests pressed together and their legs tangled up. And Liam had been worried she might not have wanted to talk to him. 

Automatically wrapping his arms around the girl lying on top of him, Liam allowed his eyes to fall closed for a moment, feeling their heartbeats, the only sound audible being their even breaths. He had been so bloody worried about Niall, had been so upset last night and now, after he had broken somebody’s nose, Liam felt nothing but relief, also still slight anger at himself and even more so at this other guy, but he could suppress it for now, not wanting to ruin the moment. 

“Bean… ?” Niall suddenly mumbled against Liam’s skin, giving him a million goose bumps and yet he still didn’t miss a beat while running his fingers up and down her arm.

“Yeah?” It was very comfortable like this, had there not been the talk they had to have but Liam was really trying to give Niall time, do it whenever she was ready, let her speak up about it and decide. He wouldn’t have really expected her to say something so off topic though.

“I love you, you know… so much.” Her voice had been very quiet, almost as if she had gotten shy about saying it and Liam’s heart skipped like fifty beats as he struggled to keep on breathing, his arm maybe a bit too tight around the girl, fingers momentarily just resting against her skin.

“I love you too, Nialler…” Maybe even more now, Liam didn’t know exactly how or why, but he somehow still managed to fall in love with her even deeper each and every day.

For a second, Liam thought that that was all Niall had been wanting to say, that maybe she had just gotten a bit emotional or something, but he did hear her taking a quiet breath, kissing her head in an attempt to try and help her to calm down. “I… I gotta tell you something, Li… “

“You can tell me anything, love, you know that.” Was she gonna talk about what had happened? Or maybe _why_ it had happened? It didn’t sound like she simply wanted to talk about _it_ , more like there was something Liam didn’t know about and it got him really, really nervous.

“Okay… “ She mumbled, more to herself seemingly, taking another few seconds, rearranging her body against Liam’s until she seemed to have gotten even closer, even if that was impossible. “Last night when… when I came home and you weren’t there, I… I was actually gonna tell you that… that I kissed him. And I… I wasn’t gonna tell you about it in detail, but I feel like I should because… because well… I was also gonna ask you for advice on how to break up with him even though we weren’t even dating but… that kinda… solved itself.”

“Why did you wanna break up with him?” She had been talking about it before, she just had never done it and then there had been the kiss and Liam already felt sick thinking about the _details_ Niall had mentioned. What could have possibly happened that was even worse than all of this?

“That’s what… what I wanted to tell you actually, um… “ Again, Niall had to break off, getting Liam pretty damn nervous because well… he was scared there was even more to come other than the fact that this asshole had been forcing himself on his best friend. “Please don’t… don’t freak out or anything, okay? It’s not… it’s nothing bad, I mean… maybe it is a little bit, but… please just…just ignore me if… if you think it’s getting weird, okay?”

“What are you talking about Ni?” This was so strange, this was probably what Liam would have sounded like had he actually taken Louis’ advice to heart and confessed his feelings to Niall, but that would never happen anyways because he was a damn coward.

“I…. I’ve been… thinking about a few things, for a while already and then… then you and I… you know… had sex and um… “ Wait, what? “Well, when I… when I saw you with that other girl I was like… kinda hurt and it’s not your fault at all, it’s none of my business, I was just… I don’t know what I was thinking that… that you’d never sleep with anybody ever again, but anyways, uh… I don’t know what I was thinking, I just… I called him up and then… we met and we spent a few hours together and somehow… somehow I was… angry at myself that I’ve reacted so heavily to seeing you with this girl and that you weren’t home last night when I wanted to talk to you, which isn’t your fault either, I just… I wanted to sleep with him, Li, but… but not because I wanted _him_ , it was just… just because I was really jealous, okay? That you… that you were with another girl and I couldn’t handle it and… I thought I could just do the same and move on from feeling this way but… shit, uh… I only ever kissed him because… because after we had sex and we were both lying in my bed, I… “

“… Niall?” What in god’s name was she talking about? Okay, maybe she had been jealous because of Louis’ theory, since they were best friends and all, but then why… why would she have wanted to sleep with somebody else to… to do what? Get back at Liam or something?!

There was no answer for a minute or so and Liam was almost ready to sit up so they’d be forced to look at each other because he had surely never been this confused in his whole life, he would have never expected her to… just randomly talk about this? Well, but he also would have never expected her to say what she said then, interrupting him, not even taking a single break between her words, as if she’d never get the courage to say any of it out loud otherwise.

“Ni-“

“I only kissed him because I wanted to forgot about the way I’m feeling about you because I know I can never have you but you’re the only one I wanna be with and I was so jealous that you slept with someone else that I wanted to get over you even more and so I was gonna sleep with him but he was so rough and I was wishing it was you the whole time and I can’t stop thinking about you and shit… I’m sorry.” _What?!_

“Niall what… what’re you talking about?” Had she just… really said all these things?! But why, what… what the fuck?!

This time, Niall did suddenly lift her head out of nowhere, her cheeks were blushed as hell and her eyes were teary and her expression desperate and Liam just kinda froze underneath her, barely even allowing himself to breathe. “I love you, Li, I really, really do, more than just… more than a best friend, when we slept with each other, I… it just hit me out of nowhere and I’ve been in love with you for probably ages I just never considered it and now… I wanted to stop meeting him, Li, but I… I know you don’t feel the same I just… I just had to tell you because it’s killing me and I know I have no right to be jealous and what I did was stupid I just… I just didn’t wanna be left having all these feelings and thoughts about you and maybe never again finding a guy who’s interested in me and… I’m sorry, please don’t be mad, I know we said all of this wasn’t gonna change anything I just … I just had to tell you.”

Nothing on earth could have prepared Liam for this, his eyes had literally grown so wide that he was genuinely afraid they might pop out as he stared at the girl still lying on top of him, having sounded completely desperate, a tear rolling down her cheek that Liam would have usually wiped away but his whole body felt like jello, even as he felt warmth spreading inside of him. She had really said those things, hadn’t she? It hadn’t been a dream? She had just… she had just told Liam that… that she was _in love_ with him. Oh god.

“Li, I’m sorry, please say something, I-“

“You… You’ve got no idea how often I wished you would say that to me.” Honestly, there were tears in Liam’s eyes as well and he let out a humourless laugh under Niall’s desperate and now confused expression, letting go of her for just a second to wipe at his eyes, feeling himself shaking a little bit. This couldn’t be real, could it? There was no bloody way Niall had meant all of that, no bloody way she… she had continued to go out with this guy because she had thought she had no chance with Liam, had wanted to sleep with someone else because she had been so jealous of Liam being with another girl, that he hadn’t waited up for her like he always did and god… this couldn’t be happening, this was either the most realistic dream ever or… 

“What… what do you mean, I… “ Momentarily, Niall was the one confused as Liam had to laugh yet again, feeling incredibly high right now but how could he have not been?! He had been holding back for so long, had been thinking about ways to tell her and now… now Niall had been the braver one.

“I didn’t sleep with her, Niall, I went out to drink because Louis told me you kissed that guy because he and Harry saw you and… I was jealous as well. I don’t know what happened, I was really drunk and somehow I took her home but we only slept in my bed, nothing else. Nialler… there’s no one in this world I’d rather be with than you and there won’t ever be someone else, I’ve pretty much been in love with you since kindergarten and I was too scared to tell you.” There, there it was, finally, the only secret Liam had ever kept from his best friend, it was worth it though, seeing her reaction, her jaw simply dropping as Liam just grinned, not even feeling like himself anymore. He had really told her what he had been wanting to tell her for _years_ and the relief he felt from that was absolutely incredible and overwhelming. This was something that he had thought about at least once a day and now… now there’d never be a need to again and Liam couldn’t fucking believe it. He had always thought he’d either die with this or eventually break and tell Niall and get his heart broken but… what had he done to deserve this gorgeous and absolutely perfect girl returning his feelings?!

“Are you… are you joking?! But you… and… you never… you never said a word and I… “ She was at a loss of words, but Liam took that as a positive sign, pretty sure that absolutely nothing could have gotten his mood down now. Somehow he had a very desperate urge to pinch himself hard, just so he could be sure that he wasn’t dreaming. Never in a billion years had Liam actually believed that Niall could ever return his feeling, that _she_ would be the one to speak up before him and god… what if none of them had ever told the other?! “Li, I… I don’t know what to say, I… I’m so sorry, if… if I hurt you by going on all these dates, I had no idea, but… if it helps… I was wishing it was you there with me the entire time anyways and… oh my god… are you like… serious? I mean, you’re not joking, right?! You actually… you actually do like me like that and… oh god.”

“Ni, I’d never joke with something like that and I promise you, there’s no one else I like more than you. You can ask Harry and Louis if you need confirmation.” Chuckling over the girl’s face, Liam slowly reached out for her, running his finger across her cheek before stroking that one strand of hair back behind her ear, nothing intimate or anything, but for some reason, it caused the girl’s breathing to get heavier. Or maybe it was because of what Liam had said.

“They know?! Everyone knew except for me?! I… why’d you never… tell me?” Niall was so shocked and so not ready to actually believe any of it that Liam actually felt bad like… why was it so hard for her to believe that he returned her feelings, after everything that had happened?

“I didn’t think you’d ever like me back and… you were always joking about us dating and I don’t know, I was… I was scared to ruin our friendship... “ Which probably wouldn’t have happened, but Liam was way too hyper to think about this right now, he had trouble just lying there actually, feeling a terrible urge to either sit up and squish Niall against his chest or lean up and kiss her until neither of them could breathe anymore. God, they hadn’t kissed in so long and Liam had thought he’d never ever get to do it again, he didn’t know if he would in the near future but… the girl didn’t look opposed to it in any way. “And if you only… started thinking about it after we had sex then… it might have freaked you out.”

“Maybe, I… I don’t know actually, I feel like… like I’ve always known? But somehow I didn’t because I never would have thought that… that you’d ever… and… what are we gonna, uh… do now?” A good question, somehow it made Liam laugh, but everything was suddenly making him laugh, it’s just… holy shit, how could such a day end with Liam going straight to cloud nine?! He had been living with this secret almost all his life and now… now he’d never have to hold anything back again and that knowledge almost made Liam cry. Niall was his, his alone.

“Whatever you wanna do, Nialler, I mean… nothing will change, right? Except that… that we can finally call it a date whenever we go somewhere and I can hold your hand whenever you allow me to and we don’t have to find any excuses anymore to spend the night in the same bed and of course we can also… “ Well, was it appropriate to say this now, after what had happened? But Niall seemed to have forgotten all about it all of a sudden.

“… kiss whenever we want?” Thank god their minds were working the exact same, even with things like that.

“Yeah… only if you want, of course…” Liam felt so giddy and excited and he wanted to just lie here like this forever but at the same time jump up and around and cry and laugh all at once and thank god Niall made that decision for him because the boy would have gone insane had he been forced to wait any longer.

There was a moment where Niall seemed to shortly think it through, nuzzling her face a bit into Liam’s hand cupping her cheek, eyes flickering down to the boy’s lips and Liam felt his heart hammering in his chest as he just waited, not really having expect Niall to honestly kiss him right now, but then again…. They had just found out that they were both fucking idiots having tried to hide their feelings from each other and now…

As soon as the girl’s lips were on top of Liam’s, the boy couldn’t help but let out a sigh, immediately holding onto her more tightly, wanting to be closer, have her everywhere at once, the smell of her shampoo filling Liam’s nose as they kissed, immediately falling back into old routines, deepening the kiss without further ado and it felt so natural, especially because they had done this before but it was so much better that Liam thought there were actual fireworks dancing in front of his closed eyes.

The boy was really trying to hold back, tried not to be too desperate, but Niall easily complied as Liam attempted to flip them over, making sure to hold onto Niall and support her, never breaking the kiss during the whole process. Niall’s tongue against Liam’s felt so hot and wet and _perfect_ , the way she was clinging to him, the sounds that were occasionally escaping her making this so much better than it had already been.

It brought tears to Liam’s eyes once more, even if maybe that was fucking stupid but it’s not like he could control his emotions, he had waited so damn long to have this, had never actually believe that it’d happen and just like that… just like that Niall had blurted out with her own feeling and now they were on Liam’s bed fucking snogging after having confessed their feelings and there was nothing into this world that could have possibly made this any better.

“Li… “ Niall was panting a bit, barely even pulling away, her fingers curled so tightly in Liam’s hair that it almost hurt, in a good way though.

“Hm?” Pressing another kiss onto her soft lips just because he could and because he loved the butterflies and chills he got each time, Liam moved his hand up to run his fingers over the girl’s cheek, then through a few pieces of her hair, just thinking about how he’d be allowed to do that all the time now, how he could just pull her onto his lap whenever he pleased and do all of these things they had already been doing without having to find excuses or having to think about it.

“Are you… crying?” She did sound slightly worried, but they didn’t really pull away, their lips brushing whenever they talked, or whispered more like, and Liam didn’t even bother denying it because he was crying, only a little bit though, not being able to not let this get to him though.

“Yeah… sorry…” Niall had probably felt it on her own skin, allowing Liam to kiss her once more before she moved her hand from the back of his neck to his cheek, thumb rubbing over the skin and giving Liam even more butterflies than he had already had. The fact alone that he and Niall would go to sleep together later, provided the girl wanted to of course, already got him feeling all sorts of things.

“Why?” Her voice was soft, fingers mapping out Liam’s skin, moving to his arm then and just drawing patterns, probably not aware of how distracting all of this was.

“Because I… I never thought this would happen and… I still can’t believe it, I… I really love you, Niall, so fucking much, and I always knew I’d never find anybody else I’d rather be with and now… “ Now he had gotten his happy ending, even if it still seemed unbelievable, after all these years, but what could have possibly destroyed this for them?

“I’m sorry I only realized it now, I… we could have had like… so many years and it’s my fault and-“

“Hey no, stop, Nialler. Nothing at all is your fault, you don’t decide how you feel and besides… those are happy tears anyways, I don’t care how long I had to wait ‘cos I got you now and that’s all that matters.” And with that, Liam sealed their lips once more, his whole body feeling warm and relaxed, their lips moving in perfect sync, hands all over the other’s body to touch and feel as much as somehow possible.

“’m all yours… “ Niall mumbled before letting out a giggle that caused Liam’s heart to melt as he was kissing at her cheek and tickling her on accident, her arms tightening around him and since the boy’s brain had already turned to mush ages ago, he just blurted out with it, half talking into the girl’s cheek where he still had his mouth.

“Ni… d’you wanna like… you know… would it be okay if… if I called you my girlfriend?” Liam wanted nothing more than to do that, wanted Niall to be his girl and his alone, do everything for her to make sure she was always alright and feeling well and maybe they were a bit too young for this but holy shit, Liam knew he’d never wanna be with anybody else, he wanted to keep Niall by his side, as long as humanly possible.

“I’d love if you did, bean… you’re so damn cute, you know that?” Another giggle before she turned her head and pressed her lips against his once more, her voice sounding exactly like the boy felt, excited and a bit higher than usual, making him smile so big his cheeks were actually hurting. This was actually _real_. “I… I’ve been thinking about kissing you ever since…. ever since our camping trip… “

“I did too, babe.” Letting out a laugh, Liam felt another tear escaping him that he didn’t bother wiping away, he wasn’t sad after all, just really emotional and so, so happy that he had no idea what to do with all these feelings. “I love you… “

“I love you too, Li… “ She was smiling when the boy blinked his eyes open for a second, just to take her in, brushing his fingers over her face. It was like, nothing had changed between them, not much would change at all actually, they were still best friends and they always would be, Liam was certain of that, only now, they’d be so much more and it’d be even better than it already been and he wouldn’t have to be scared about the future anymore they could just be… Niall and Liam, best friends, and probably the cheesiest couple around, just because Liam had a feeling that they definitely would be. “Can’t believe half of our uni wants to sleep with my boyfriend… “

“Really? You gotta introduce me to him sometime.” Obviously, half the uni did NOT want to sleep with Liam, but he just turned it into a joke instead because he felt so happy about having her call him that, causing Niall to laugh right before the boy made her stop by pressing their lips back together, already feeling as if he hadn’t kissed her in ages, the girl’s arms wrapping back around Liam’s neck and he felt her smiling into the kiss, causing his own smile to grow even wider.

They probably would have to deal with telling Louis and Harry everything that had happened later and then Louis would forever tease them about both being blind idiots, but for some reason, Liam didn’t care, he didn’t care what anyone at all thought about any of this. He was aware that they’d eventually cross paths with this asshole again, but he’d be there and he’d protect Niall, from everything, because that girl was his entire world and after being so worried for so long, for so many years trying to somehow juggle his jealousy and be okay with the fact that he would eventually be forced to move on, he suddenly didn’t have to anymore and that had still not gotten into his head. But he pretty much had forever to do that anyways now, didn’t he?

Maybe Liam had had to wait for ages, had had to go through a lot of pain and disappointment and sadness, but all he had ever wanted was this right here, just be with Niall and be allowed to call her his girlfriend and do everything for her and have her loving him the same way that he loved her, the same way he had loved her all his life, and now he had it and nothing in the world could have ever felt better than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! thank you so much for sticking around through an (almost, theres still something left) entire fic! i love you all a lot and i hope you enjoyed this ~sorta last chapter! i will update again next week and its gonna be an epilogue that im very very excited for! so the main plot is finished now, but i love writing epilogues and kinda show what happens after the story so i hope youll all like it!
> 
> also, i was thinking about adding some pictures (cant say of what cos itd give it away haha) but like in my fic "From the day that i met you" would you guys enjoy that? id probably do that anyways if i have time, but i just wanted to ask haha!


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to say this in case anybody is confused: the (x) throughout this chapter are links to pictures that i photoshopped to go with the fic! you dont have to click them to understand the plot or anything, i just added them for fun so feel free to look at them if you want :)

Niall’s heart was beating faster than any time before as she stared down, her breath coming short as she tried to find a different explanation than the one she had suspected for at least two or more weeks. She _knew_ that it wasn’t a mistake, had known it for a while now and yet she didn’t want to believe it. Maybe it was just coincidence, maybe she hadn’t done it correctly, maybe… it _had_ to be a mistake.

“Niall? Are you ever going to come out there?” The sharp knocking at the door caused the girl to flinch, hastily stuffing everything into her bag before flushing the toilet yet another time, just to make it seem more realistic, hoping her face wasn’t too flushed or too pale or just in general giving away the fact that she was going the fuck insane on the inside. She’d be fine, this was a mistake, for sure.

“Sorry, I just, I… “ Making some hand movement as soon as she had come out of the toilet stall, the girl tried not to look at her coworker too closely as she pushed past her into the stall, eyeing her a bit weirdly before stopping just a second.

“If you need a tampon or something, I got some.” She offered and Niall almost died, not because she thought it was embarrassing to talk about these kinda things just… not today.

“No, I’m good, uh… thanks.” Trying to fake a smile, Niall let out a quiet breath of relief as her coworker simply shrugged before locking herself in, leaving the blonde girl to washing her hands and trying not to freak the hell out as she desperately tried to somehow fix her appearance in the mirror. She shouldn’t have done this, not at work, literally an hour before she’d be going home anyways, it’s just… it had been bugging her for days and now she had only made it even worse.

Niall worked at an office for a magazine, it was nice because she could do a lot of work at home and she knew she was lucky because they had only taken 2 people out of all the applicants. Then again, most of them hadn’t finished university, so maybe it hadn’t been that much luck after all. The girl did enjoy her job very much though, she wasn’t making tons of money, but Liam and her were using the same bank account and they had more than enough, they had a really nice flat and a car and they could go on vacations and… and Niall had just possibly ruined all of that because of her endless stupidity.

Even though she was kinda already done for today, the girl walked back to her desk, opening up the article she had been working on without really doing much at all, it was already finished and she should have been editing it, but… she couldn’t seem to concentrate enough for that. All she was really staring at was the picture on her desk of her and Liam, they had taken it shortly after they had gotten together, more than 4 years ago, and yet it stilled caused butterflies to rise in the girl’s stomach whenever she thought back to that moment. Then again, she always got butterflies whenever she thought about her boyfriend anyways.

Or actually, her _fiancé_ , since about a month and a half.

Liam had always been romantic and cheesy and Niall was absolutely in love with that side of him, but he had really taken it another step further when he had fucking proposed to her in Paris and Niall had never thought that people actually did this in real life, but Liam had, and for some reason he had been really nervous and it had been so cute and sweet and Niall had been crying so much that she was still embarrassed over it. 

Thinking about how in love Niall was with Liam made it pretty impossible to believe that she had gone so many years without noticing. Ever since they had gotten together though, the girl was falling more and more in love with this man, like every day when she woke up next to him, she couldn’t actually believe that she had gotten so damn lucky, and that she was 100% sure that Liam loved her the same way that she loved him and just… she had spent so much time being a teenager worrying that she’d end up alone even though Liam had been right there by her side all along.

Considering all of that made it seem pretty stupid that Niall was scared and nervous about this one thing, but how could she have not been? She knew Liam wouldn’t have gotten mad if it turned out to be true, but… it was still Niall’s fault alone and she knew it was something they had talked about tons of times, just… now wasn’t really the time she had wanted it to happen. 

The following hour seemed to take actual weeks until it was over and Niall could get her stuff and clog out, on one hand really, really relieved because it had been quite a long day, on the other hand a little bit scared about going home because well… the last few days she had told herself it wasn’t true but now she kinda had confirmation and she knew there was no fucking way she’d be able to tell Liam today or just try and talk to him about it. She needed a few days or… weeks. Shit.

Walking out of the building, Niall had to smile a little bit over the text messages from her boyfriend, almost running into some woman while texting back, just so he knew she was on her way home because one thing Liam still hadn’t gotten rid of was hating Niall going home on her own when it was about to get dark. It was only like 5 pm though, and had Liam not had classes to teach until 6 on Friday’s, he would have come picked Niall up like he did on other days, just to make sure she was okay, but also because he couldn’t wait to see her, as he would put it in his own words. Not that Niall minded.

Liam was teaching at two different schools, so obviously, he needed the car a lot more than Niall, also because the office she worked at was only like 30 minutes away from their flat, actually very, very close to where their old uni was. So yeah, she did get flashbacks once a while walking past all these places and using the same bus sometimes, but it were good memories anyways, especially because her and Liam had been dating through half of uni and ever since then Niall had pretty much been feeling like the luckiest person in the entire world, especially because they had been kind of the typical cheesy couple at uni that was holding hands all the time and kissing and everyone had been disgusted with. Actually, they were still acting the same way even now. [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/f57e288c73524d3213a30ce1b82bd3b0/tumblr_inline_o8nofcgzJ01rggmxj_500.jpg)

Waiting for the bus, the girl tried not to think too much about what had happened earlier, actually tried to forget about it because Liam was really fucking good at reading her like an open book and she really wanted to make sure that it wasn’t all just coincidence before talking about it with him. Maybe this was wrong, but… Niall was just really nervous and kinda scared, so much in fact that just her phone vibrating already had her heart beating in an unsteady rhythm.

It was just Liam’s sister’s though, ever since they had started dating Niall had pretty much stopped visiting her own family altogether and it was fine because she had Liam’s family treating her as if they were already married since more than 4 years anyways. And soon they would be for real and Liam’s mum would probably cry for a week straight and Niall along with her.

“Hey, Ruth.” Chewing at her thumbnail, Niall threw a look into the direction the bus should be coming from, only a little bit disappointed when she couldn’t already see it. At least that meant she had time to calm down about this whole thing.

“Hi, babe, everything alright?” Well, as far as everyone else was concerned, Niall would have to pretend that she was fine. Not that she was physically not fine, just… 

“I’m good, yeah… you?” They talked like, twice a week, and it was nice because Niall didn’t really have a lot of girlfriends, the two closest friends Liam and her had were still Louis and Harry obviously, and they saw them like 2 to 4 times a week. They did have some other friends too, but in all honesty… Niall had never been a person that needed a lot of people around her and she never would be, she had Liam, her best friend and also fiancé, and Harry and Louis and that already seemed like quite a lot.

“Me too. Are you already home? I was trying to call Liam but he’s not picking up.” Right, Liam was probably in class right now, the times would change occasionally and he had to randomly work longer sometimes when another teacher was ill, so it was a bit hard to keep track.

“He’s still working, but he should be off in like an hour. So you only called me because he wouldn’t pick up?” Niall tried to sound like she was pouting, making Ruth laugh into her phone and for a moment, the girl almost thought about asking Liam’s sister for advice about this whole mess. Maybe she should have, like… Ruth surely wouldn’t have said anything, would she? If Niall asked her not to?

“’course not, Ni. I would have called you anyways, it’s just, mum asked me to call you guys because she was going through old stuff at my parents’ house or something and she can’t throw anything away, you know her, so now she wants to ship all the stuff off to us instead.” Right, sounded a lot like Karen.

“What kinda stuff?” When Liam and Niall had moved into their current flat together, Liam’s parents had already given them loads of things, also furniture from the flat they had shared with Louis because it all belonged to Liam’s parents anyways, but Niall wasn’t quite sure if she wanted their flat to become stuffed. Unless it was with old pictures of herself and Liam, she’d never get enough of those, a while ago they had been looking through photo albums [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/854c28d79dcfb936f80937b0d9484c04/tumblr_inline_o8noezbvrp1rggmxj_500.jpg) and Niall hadn’t been able to believe that they had known each other for this long already, up until now where they were engaged and well… other stuff.

“I don’t know, like… Liam’s old toys, I think. Oh, and his baby clothes.” Oh god.

“His… baby clothes?” Niall was going to get paranoid, she actually almost choked on her words as soon as she had heard the word ‘baby’, like what kinda fucking coincidence, was this a sign?! 

“Yeah, they’re pretty cute, actually. I can send you pictures if you want, maybe you wanna keep them for your kids, imagine how adorable that’d be.” Ruth was almost swooning by now and Niall almost felt sick to her stomach all of a sudden, like… just an hour ago she had been staring at a fucking positive pregnancy test alone in the toilets of her office and now… now Liam’s sister wanted to send her pictures of fucking baby clothes.

“Uh, yeah, I… sure… “ The girl didn’t even know to what she had just agreed, all she could think about now was that she had probably given herself away. There was no way she’d get those words over her lips though, like, what’s she even say?! Hey Ruth, I was stupid enough to forget taking the pill more than a month and a half ago in Paris and haven’t had my period since then and I’ve got a positive pregnancy test in my bag but please don’t tell Liam? Yeah, right.

“You alright? You don’t have to say yes, you know, my mum’s gonna keep all the stuff anyways.” Oh god, what if Niall was _actually_ pregnant, they’d have to tell their parents and oh god… Liam’s would surely be thrilled but Niall’s… they’d kill her or something, even though she was 24 and had a boyfriend and a stable income but… her parents were fucking crazy.

“No, I... I’ll talk to Liam and um… I mean I… I don’t know if… like… if I’m preg- I mean… yeah.” Thank god the bus was coming just as Niall had almost given herself away, not even able to think clearly anymore now. This was a huge mess she had gotten herself into, she had literally forgotten the pill once when they had been in Paris, actually the fucking day that Liam had proposed and now her period was overdue since a while and she had all the right symptoms and… oh god. “I uh… I gotta get on the bus now.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. Tell Liam to call me, okay?” Luckily she hadn’t noticed anything, Ruth only sounded slightly confused if anything, having no time to ask Niall what was up with her though because the younger girl was quick to end that conversation.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll text you, bye.” And with that, Niall had hung up her phone, her stomach rebelling even more than it had this morning and maybe it was all the anxiety and the stress, but maybe… just maybe, it was something else.

Shit, Niall had really gotten into the shittiest situation ever, she wanted kids with Liam, they had talked about it tons of times, but Niall hadn’t planned on having them _now_ , they were only 24 after all, and yeah, if the girl was indeed pregnant, they’d both be 25 by the time the baby came, but… that wasn’t very comforting in any way. How the hell would Niall ever get the courage to tell Liam that just because she had been stupid their whole lives could possibly change?!

 

\-----------------

 

“I’m home!” Liam had barely even entered the flat before already half calling out, he was really exhausted from work and the kids had been extra loud, which was understandable since it was kinda late, but coming home to seeing Niall and knowing that it was Friday was enough to keep Liam motivated. He and Niall had been dating for more than 4 years now and he still couldn’t believe his luck, still couldn’t get enough of her and Liam actually doubted that he ever would. When he had proposed to her a while ago, he hadn’t really had it planned through, he had had the ring for a while but… they had been in Paris and Liam being a hopeless romantic had just kinda popped the question, while being a hell lot of nervous of course, but… he knew that Niall loved him just as much as he loved her and that was all they’d ever need.

It took a bit before Niall was coming around the corner, already having changed her clothes, her face looking kinda tired but Liam barely had any time to stare for too long because the girl went straight into his half open arms, wrapping hers around his neck while barely getting onto her tiptoes and pressing their lips together before even saying one single word. Right, this was what Liam had been looking forward to all damn day long, just having Niall to himself and getting to spend time with her. 

They didn’t kiss for too long, but it was very sweet and gentle and Liam felt the sparks down his spine just like he always did whenever the girl touched him, not quite sure if he’d ever stop reacting this heavily to being close to her. Probably not. 

“Hi… I missed you… “ Niall mumbled against Liam’s lips, automatically causing him to hold on tighter to her waist, kissing her once more, a little bit firmer than before as he felt himself smiling into the kiss. 

“I missed you more, beautiful… “ Liam answered without hesitating, only hearing a small grunt of disapproval from the girl that the boy quickly drowned with another kiss, not wanting her to disagree because he had actually missed her so terribly that he could feel the knot in his stomach loosening just from being able to hold and kiss her. God, Liam had never thought he could fall in love with his best friend more deeply, but waking up next to her every day, he was proven wrong over and over again. “I got you something…”

“Hmm… what is it?” The girl refused to let go of Liam, keeping her arms around his neck as they slowly pulled apart, sharing a smile before the boy pressed another kiss onto her forehead, letting go of her waist with one hand, having a bit of trouble reaching his bag while they were still clinging to one another. Not that he would have ever wanted to let his fiancée go over that.

“Nothing, just… I walked past the store so I thought… “ Well, that wasn’t entirely true, mostly because Liam of course hadn’t been walking but driven in their car, but Niall didn’t seem to question it, her face going rather curious before it broke out into a smile once more, rolling her eyes just a little bit when the boy handed her a single rose, forcing her to let go of him with one arm. Obviously, Liam had made sure the flower wouldn’t get crushed in his bag, already kinda being an expert at that because he did it all the time.

“Thank you… you’re so cute, how is that even possible?” Chuckling a bit before kissing his cheek, Liam could tell that Niall really was happy about the rose, feeling warmth spreading in his stomach as he turned his head so he could kiss the girl’s cheek as well, momentarily holding her tighter once more.

“I love you, baby...” He half mumbled against her skin, breathing her in, barely being able to believe that they had the whole weekend ahead of them now. Not that they didn’t spend tons of time together during the week, they didn’t always have to work as late as today, but it was still different being able to sleep in and cancel their plans with Louis and Harry just like last week because they had wanted to stay in bed and snuggle all day long [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/6206e7e7566d782d4088e36a9d68b43d/tumblr_inline_o8nodtAjU41rggmxj_500.jpg).

“I love you too, bean… “ As if they hadn’t kissed enough already, Niall pecked Liam’s lips yet again before very slowly pulling away, her free hand rubbing down his arm before she intertwined their fingers, a soft smile playing around her lips. “I already started dinner, but I think you gotta come check it ‘cos I’m not sure how long to cook it for really.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, Ni.” It always was, Liam felt rather guilty because Niall would cook for them so often, but he did try to do it as many times as she did even though the girl had never complained, but Liam wanted to keep it fair.

Once the man had finally taken off his shoes and jacket, he followed Niall into the kitchen, still holding her hand and only letting go once the girl went to get something to put the rose in while Liam went to check on their dinner, all the while talking about their day and about random stuff, still acting the same way around each other they had when they had still only been best friends. Maybe that was the very best part about their relationship, that everything was so familiar and comfortable, that they knew each other inside out.

When they went to bed that night, they had pretty much not stopped touching ever since Liam had come home and though Niall did act weird for a moment when Liam’s sister called to talk about some baby clothes or something, the boy enjoyed every single second that he got to spend with Niall, not really considering that tiny reaction any further.

 

\----------------

 

“Hmmm…. Baby?” Liam turned around in bed when he noticed that Niall had rolled out of his arms, feeling terribly uncoordinated as he tried to blink his eyes open, blindly reaching out for the girl but not really touching anything except for the empty side of the bed next to him. Well, this was bloody weird. “Ni?”

There was no answer and though Liam actually felt like he was gonna fall asleep again any second, he still forced himself to roll over, somehow managing to find his phone before being hurt by the bright screen, internally groaning when he saw the time. It was only 7 am on a Saturday, usually they’d still be asleep for at least 3 more hours, but for some reason, Niall was gone and Liam was way too worried as to just allow himself to go back to sleep.

So instead, the boy stretched a few times, suppressing a yawn as he forced his body to get out of bed, somehow even managing to find his boxer shorts that were lying on the floor from last nights’ activities, putting them on in an attempt to maybe get a little bit warmer even though it wasn’t helping in any way, but his shirt seemed to be gone. 

Usually Niall was the one who slept longer and Liam had to wake her up, which he loved doing of course, so it was extra weird that the girl had gotten up so early to… yeah, what exactly was she even doing? Rubbing at his eyes, Liam went on a quick search through their flat, almost starting to get slightly anxious when he couldn’t find his girlfriend, his brain already torturing him with some very bad things that could have happened right before he heard a sound coming from the bathroom. Oh, thank god, she had probably just gone to pee or something.

“Baby? Everything alright?” Softly knocking on the bathroom door as to not startle or disturb her, Liam could feel his heart getting a bit lighter once more as he heard the toilet flushing. “Niall?”

“Yeah, I, um… I’m fine, one second.” Surprisingly enough, she didn’t sound tired or as if she just had gotten out of bed at all, but Liam blamed it on his own sleepiness, this time having to yawn for real as he leaned against the wall while waiting for her to come out again, not really wanting to go back to bed without her. He was so used to sleeping next to Niall, having her in his arms or her head on his chest, that it wasn’t a surprise that her absence had immediately woken him.

Niall took a few minutes before she came out of the bathroom, wearing Liam’s missing shirt, and for some reason, the boy did get kind of suspicious when he looked at her, seeing how pale her face was and her eyes kinda red shot if he looked closely and… it didn’t really seem like she just had had to pee to be honest. “Hey… Are you okay? You look a bit…”

“I… I’m just tired, don’t worry, bean. Let’s go back to bed, yeah?” Her smile seemed somewhat forced and of course Liam could feel his worries coming back, softly stopping the girl from walking back towards their bedroom, instead wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer, his free hand almost automatically coming up to press against her forehead, just to be sure. “’m good Li, it’s fine, I just… I, um… felt a bit sick.”

“Wait… did you have to throw up?” Oh god, how had Liam slept through that? And anyways, why hadn’t Niall immediately told him? Why had she pretended that she had just been on the toilet?! 

“Umm… a little bit, but-“

“You should have told me if you felt sick, baby. Does anything hurt? How are you feeling?” Liam couldn’t help but immediately jumping into protective mode, suddenly feeling terribly awake as he brushed his hand over various parts of Niall’s face, running his fingers through her hair while still keeping her close, never once looking away from her. Something was definitely up, only what? 

“No, nothing hurts and I’m alright now, it’s fine, bean, I promise.” Another fake smile, a little more real this time though, but not even the kiss on his cheek could calm Liam down, yet again keeping the girl from walking away from him so he could keep asking her questions.

“Did you eat anything weird yesterday? Maybe it was our dinner, but… it was the same thing we eat at least once a month, hmmm… “ Trying to think about what could be up with his girlfriend, Liam was almost up and ready to scoop the girl into his arms and tuck her back into bed before going to make her some tea and soup, even though it was only 7 am, but if she wasn’t feeling well then Liam was obviously going to take care of her. “Why didn’t you wake me, Nialler? You don’t have to be awake by yourself when you’re feeling poorly.”

“I’m not… feeling poorly, I just… “ She was struggling with her words, which was also very weird, also her pale cheeks were somehow getting a bit pinker and Niall was avoiding Liam’s eyes as well, as if she was really trying to hide something, only… for what? And why?

“Just what, babe? What’s wrong?” Liam was aware that his worries were clearly showing in his voice but he couldn’t have helped himself, still staring at the girl’s face, the way she seemed to sigh before looking down, her hand momentarily resting on her stomach, which Liam barely registered as he kept running his fingers through her hair. Hopefully she wasn’t sick, what if she hadn’t been feeling well for a while, why hadn’t she talked to him?

“I um… I gotta tell you something… “ Oh god.

Almost immediately, Liam felt tension filling the air, felt his heart speeding up and his stomach twist into knots as he tried not to immediately expect the worst. Surely, there was a logical explanation for everything, it probably wasn’t even that bad, but he couldn’t help imaging the worst scenarios anyways. “Okay… you can tell me anything, baby, you know that, what is it? Is everything okay, are you… are you alright?”

“Well, yeah, but… “ Never once looking away from Niall’s face, Liam was aware that he was holding her waist a bit too tightly maybe, but the girl never complained, she just took a huge breath while staring at their carpet and when Liam almost thought it was gonna be something _really_ bad and she was gonna break up with him for whatever reason, Niall said something he would have never been able to guess in a billion years. “I’m pregnant. I… I mean… I think I am, I’m… overdue with my period and I… I forget taking the pill when we were in Paris and I’ve been feeling a bit sick and I… today at work I… I took a test and… it was positive…”

“Wait… what?” She was… _pregnant?!_

“I’m sorry, Li, I… I should have talked to you sooner, I’ve been suspecting it for a few weeks and now… I’m sorry, it’s my fault, I know we wanted to wait, I… I shouldn’t have forgotten and… I’m sorry.” This time, Niall did finally look up at Liam, her expression worried, probably because the boy’s mouth had simply dropped and he had no fucking idea how to react to this because it had been so damn unexpected. In a _really_ good way though. “Li, I-“

“Nialler… this is amazing. I’m serious, oh my god… you’re _pregnant_ with _our_ baby, I… “ Liam was honestly so overwhelmed, he couldn’t help but let out a laugh, relief spreading through him as well as happiness and before the girl even had any chance to answer, Liam had already swooped her up in his arms, making her momentarily lose ground under her feet because of how tightly he was hugging her, just… holy shit, they were going to be parents and… oh god. 

“Li!” Letting out a chuckle, the girl was obviously happy about Liam’s reaction, already trying to get him to put her down though, struggling a bit in his grip and when the boy gently placed her back down in front of him, his cheeks were honestly aching with how big he had to smile the whole time. “Are you… are you really that excited? I mean, I know we wanted to wait and… “

“Of course I’m bloody excited, baby, I always wanted to have kids and I love you more than anything in the world and I would never wanna be with anybody else, you being pregnant is like… honestly, that’s the best thing you could have just told me.” Seriously, the reason why they had pushed all of this back had mostly been concerns coming from Niall, Liam wouldn’t have minded if they had had a baby a year ago already. 

“Really?” The fact that she sounded unsure, a small smile on her lips though as Liam rubbed his hands up and down her waist, made the boy feel a little bit guilty, like… it wasn’t fair that Niall had had to deal with this by herself, that she had been stressing out and seemingly been nervous about even telling him in the first place when it was the best fucking thing that could have possibly happened.

“Of course, Ni. We got a flat, we both got jobs, we got enough money, it’s all going to be fine, babe, okay? I’m so excited, oh my god… “ Not really knowing what to do with all this happiness and excitement, Liam spontaneously leaned down to kiss the girl, a bit deeper than planned, but at least it finally got her to giggle a bit against his lips, her arms slowly wrapping around his neck.

“I’m not like… a hundred percent sure though, I mean, sometimes these tests are wrong, I gotta, uh… make an appointment at the doctor’s and … then we’ll know for sure.” Half mumbling against the boy’s lips, Niall almost sounded apologetic, as if she had gotten Liam’s hopes up for nothing or something, but as the boy moved his hand from her waist to lightly rest against her stomach, she wasn’t complaining either, just kissed him once more. 

“Do you… do you want it to be true?” Just to check, Liam wasn’t going to… force Niall to keep that baby, even if they had talked about it, but if she truly felt too young and as if it wasn’t the right time, then it was her body anyways.

“I mean… I didn’t really, uh, want it to be true before at work but… but that was mostly because I didn’t know how to tell you, but now I… I think I do.” Their foreheads were resting against one another and Liam could feel Niall’s breath brushing his lips, rubbing his palm over her clothed stomach as if they already had confirmation. “Didn’t know you’d be this excited…”

“’course I am, love… that’s our baby, I… I couldn’t imagine anything better. I love you so much, Ni, I can’t wait to marry you and to have kids with you and have our own little family… it’s gonna be perfect. Even more than it already is.” Which was hardly possible because Liam couldn’t have imagined living a different life, but now that these news were out, everything had just gotten ten times better. 

“Yeah… you’re gonna be the best dad ever.” There was another chuckle before Niall gently pulled away, her face having brightened up incredibly as Liam blinked his eyes open to check, almost getting him even happier than he had already been to begin with. He didn’t want Niall to regret this, he really wanted her to want this baby just as much as he did, so they could be excited about it together because it seemed ridiculous to talk about whose ‘fault’ it was when they had always planned on having kids anyways. “I… I’m almost scared now that the doctor will tell me it’s something else.”

“Then we’ll just try again.” It was only half a joke and Niall rolled her eyes while Liam just laughed, pressing a lingering kiss onto her temple before pulling her into another hug. He hadn’t even known how desperately he had wanted Niall to have his babies before she had told him, like… how amazing was this going to be, them being parents? Having a baby together? And oh god, they’d have to tell everybody and somehow Liam couldn’t fucking wait to do that.

Obviously, they didn’t have confirmation yet, but it was kinda obvious that Niall was pretty sure that she was indeed pregnant, and even though she had kinda been acting unsure before, when they had both gone back to bed a bit later and were just lying awake talking about it and stroking Niall’s stomach, they seemed to be equally as excited. God, and Liam had thought it was something bad and now his life had gotten like a hundred times better.

 

\-----------

 

After finally having told Liam, Niall was almost anxious to go to the doctor’s and being told that it wasn’t true after all because she wouldn’t have wanted to disappoint her boyfriend after it had made him so incredibly happy, but also… now that they had talked about it, had kinda planned it out a bit and after Liam had made sure to tell Niall at least 5 times a day about how happy he was, kissing her stomach so many times she lost count, the girl was able to overcome her nervousness and stop being scared about it. This was her and Liam’s baby after all, she wouldn’t want anyone else’s and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with this man, everything would be just fine, they had each other, they could figure it out together.

About a week after Niall had told Liam, they both managed to get half the day off, Liam because he always worked extra hours anyways, and Niall because she was going to the doctor’s. Without telling anybody about it of course, they wouldn’t tell anybody for a while if it turned out to be true because they both knew it wasn’t wise to do so, because of miscarriages and all that, but it didn’t really matter because Niall wasn’t really that ready to tell anybody else anyways.

“You nervous?” Liam asked, keeping his voice rather quiet because there were a lot of other people in the waiting room as well, his hand tightly intertwined with Niall’s as the girl was keeping them both in her lap, trying not to bite her lip bleeding.

“Yeah, kinda… I just hope that… that it’ll be fine and that… that everything is alright.” You never knew after all, right? Maybe Niall shouldn’t have been googling so much stuff, but she hadn’t been able to help herself, ever since she and Liam had talked about it, it was pretty much the only topic on Niall’s mind. 

“I’m sure it will be, love, don’t worry about it. And I’m here, okay? No matter what happens.” He was so damn sweet it almost made Niall cry, which maybe was another indicator that she was pregnant because she had gotten quite a bit more emotional than normally, almost having had to cry last night as well when Liam had kissed her bare stomach in bed before telling her how happy he was, that he got to be with her and that she had agreed to marrying him one day and that they were going to have a baby. Well, most likely have one.

“Thanks, bean… also for coming, I… wouldn’t wanna do this without you.” Not that Niall had asked him to, Liam hadn’t asked her either, he had just taken half the day off and the girl had been really relieved, the fact that her boyfriend was so damn excited, that he wanted to be part of every single step and always asked how she was doing and already thinking about how to name their baby was really helping Niall to relax about all of this. She had Liam and he’d always be there and support here, she really had nothing to worry about at all.

“You think I’d let you go by yourself?” He had his eyebrows pulled up, as if he was genuinely surprised and the girl couldn’t help but smile, leaning over without thinking so she could peck his lips softly, trying to remind herself that were about 10 other people in the same room with them as she wanted to keep going, quite pleased though when Liam’s face had gotten a little bit pink after she had pulled away. 

“No… I’m just happy you’re here.” Liam was honestly the best boyfriend in the entire world, but he was also the best person as well so that shouldn’t have been surprising, right?

“Me too, babe… “ Instead of answering, Niall had leaned over once more with a smile, not being able to help herself as she kissed Liam’s cheek before curling her free hand around his inner elbow and putting her head down onto his shoulder like she had done a million times before, still feeling really nervous, but holding Liam’s hand and feeling his lips pressing onto the top of her head as he rubbed his thumb along hers made everything seem only half as bad.

They had to wait for at least another half an hour and by the time they finally called Niall’s name, the girl was almost dying on the inside. Her and Liam had just mostly been talking about other stuff, just to distract themselves, but judging by how fast Liam’s leg had been going up and down and how Niall had almost bitten her lip bleeding, it was obvious that neither of them could have waited any longer to find out.

“Hi, you’re Niall?” The doctor was smiling when they walked in, taking a bit of the anxiety off of Niall, really glad though when she got to hold Liam’s hand again after they had both said hi and shaken the doctor’s hand, needing him there as support. “You can just go lie down, alright? I’ll be there in a second.”

“Okay… thank you.” Doctor’s really weren’t Niall’s thing at all, but for once at least she wasn’t really here because of herself, but maybe that was making everything even worse.

When the woman momentarily left, Niall and Liam threw a look at each other, the boy’s face probably mirroring the girl’s, their hands feeling kinda sweaty as Niall held on even tighter, not really knowing whether both of them were this extremely nervous or whether it was just her. “So… that’s it, huh?”

“Yeah… ‘m so nervous… “ Was all the girl brought out, slowly pulling Liam with her as she did what the doctor had told her to do, barely being able to sit down though before the woman was already back, causing her insides to twist a bit uncomfortably. She had explained the whole thing on the phone a week ago obviously, also that she was 99% sure that she was indeed pregnant, and she hadn’t really thought they’d be doing an ultrasound _today_ but then again… why wouldn’t they?

“Alright, you can lie back, it’s fine. And your boyfriend can take the chair.” She probably thought they were a bit behaving like children and though Liam certainly did not look like one and Niall looked at least off age since a few years, the girl was kinda glad about being treated this way anyways, after all… she was only 24 and this was all new and she was about to die on the inside. At least no one was asking her how old she even was and judging her for getting pregnant or something. “Okay, good. So, you took a test, yes? How long ago was your last period?”

“Um… about two months ago.” She had had it before Paris and if _that_ didn’t mean she was pregnant, maybe it was good that Niall was at the doctor’s. “I also um… I’ve been feeling rather sick lately and… especially in the morning.”

“Okay, let’s just check and then we’ll know, alright?” Well, she sounded pretty damn positive as well, but Niall was still not allowing herself to feel excited, lifting her shirt when the doctor asked her to and immediately grabbing onto Liam once more. The boy was sitting opposite of the doctor on Niall’s other side, his facial expression kind of unreadable as he was just watching and listening, smiling a small smile at the girl when she reached up to cup his cheek in her palm, smoothing her thumb over his skin. “That’s gonna be a bit cold, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay… “ Niall mumbled, barely even noticing the gel as she turned her head to look at the monitor instead, her heart bumping uncontrollably fast as she waited for the doctor to just do it, Liam’s hand covering hers, keeping it pressed to his face.

“Okay, let’s see… “ As soon as the doctor put the ultrasound to Niall’s stomach, the girl honestly thought she had to die, for a second almost _certain_ that she wasn’t pregnant and just ill or something, not even being prepared for hearing the result but they barely had to wait half a minute anyways before the doctor turned to them with a smile. “Do you see that? That’s your baby, congratulations.”

“Oh my god… “ Honestly, Niall had _no_ idea what else to say, she wasn’t sure if she was seeing all that much on the monitor, even forgetting to turn around and look at Liam because she was so _intrigued_ by the ultrasound images, not even having gotten it into her head that she really _was_ pregnant before something even better happened.

“Okay… everything seems to be fine so far… see here? That’s the head and… there we go, there’s the heartbeat.” They could actually _hear_ it and Niall wasn’t even listening to what the doctor was saying anymore, or what she was pointing to and explaining to them, because holy fucking shit, Niall had just found out that she was 8 weeks pregnant and though she had kinda known it for much longer anyways, she could actually see and hear it and… it was so overwhelming, the girl could have started crying. She probably would have to be honest, had she not felt something wet on her hand that immediately caused her to turn her head.

“Babe… “ Liam was _crying_ , like not even a little bit but full on and Niall could feel her heart actually melting as she looked at her boyfriend sniffing a bit, still holding onto her hand against his cheeks, attempting to wipe his eyes now with his free hand, causing Niall’s to start feeling wet as well.

“Sorry… “ The boy mumbled, letting out a quick, unbelievable laugh before turning his head to kiss Niall’s palm, his eyes red shot and his cheeks wet, allowing the girl to run her fingers through his hair, thumb at his ear, not knowing whether she wanted to smile or cry. Both actually, at the same time, but she had no time for either really because Liam had already leaned down to kiss her. “That’s our baby, Ni… “

“I know… “ Maybe it was kinda rude, but then again, Niall didn’t think the doctor minded that they were sharing a moment here, she was still busy checking everything anyways and they could still hear the heartbeat and the whole situation just seemed to be really fucking unreal.

They were going to be _parents_.

 

\------------

 

Liam couldn’t believe that Niall was pregnant, not while they were at the doctor’s or once they got home, or even a week after that, it just had all happened out of nowhere and he didn’t know how he had even deserved Niall in the first place and her saying yes when he had proposed, but now they were going to have a baby and keeping quiet about it was honestly the worst thing ever for Liam because he wanted to literally tell everyone.

Once Niall was 12 weeks along, she agreed to tell Louis, Harry and Liam’s family, since the risk of miscarriage was pretty much gone by then, and yeah, they were both quite nervous but also really excited and all of that quickly turned into happiness anyways because Liam was pretty sure he had never seen his mother cry _this_ much in her whole life, even his sisters were pretty close to start bawling as well, and everyone wanted to touch Niall’s stomach even though she hadn’t been showing at all by then, but the girl hadn’t seemed to mind anyways, she had been grinning the whole time, looking as happy as Liam felt and yet again, he couldn’t believe his luck.

They really did the most they could, like reading books and all that, Liam made sure to come along to every doctor appointment, made sure to do everything he possibly could to make everything as comfortable for Niall as possible and honestly, her being pregnant was probably the peak in their relationship, not that they hadn’t been super happy, but knowing that they were going to have a baby together somehow caused them to fall even more in love with each other, if that was any possible.

Of course, there were bad days as well, like that one time when Louis momentarily forgot that Niall was pregnant and kinda a lot more emotional than normally, joking about how terrible parents they were going to be and pretty much ending their night by having Niall getting up and throwing her and Liam’s bedroom door shut with a bang. Louis had apologized, multiple times, mostly because he and Harry had both been super excited about Niall being pregnant and he had just been joking like he normally did, but probably also because Liam had yelled pretty loudly at him before going to check on his girlfriend. It hadn’t been the last time though that Niall’s emotion had gotten the better of her because it still happened occasionally.

Also did when Niall was already five months pregnant and had quite a baby bump, which made for really good pictures as Liam had figured out [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/317ba77310c45efb4761d836525f3fce/tumblr_inline_o8nodjLrHB1rggmxj_500.jpg), and though by now they were kinda a lot more prepared and used to it, days like today still did happen once a while.

“Baby, I’m home!” Liam was in a really good mood, he hadn’t been able to wait to get home, his last class having been cancelled luckily and since Niall’s boss always sent her home earlier ever since she was pregnant, that of course meant they’d got to spend more time together. 

For some reason though, there was no answer, and Liam tried not to get worried because Niall was probably asleep or something, he was a tiny bit disappointed thinking about having to wait until she woke up to talk to her. Then again, he could get started on dinner meanwhile, he always made sure to cook for them since the last few months, not wanting Niall to get exhausted or something and though the girl always laughed at him whenever he voiced his concerns, Liam wasn’t going to stop being overprotective of her. Ever.

Having expected to find Niall in the bedroom, Liam was really surprised to see her sitting on the couch once he walked around the corner, and wide awake as well and yet still not having answered him or come to the door. It took about the split of a second for the boy to figure out that something must have been up. “Hey, love… everything okay?”

“I’m fine…” She didn’t even look up, she was just sitting there on the couch, in one of Liam’s old shirts because hers were getting tight by now and as soon as the brunette boy saw the used tissues on the coffee table and her watery eyes, he knew immediately what was up, his heart still dropping though because if there was one thing he absolutely hated, it was seeing his baby upset and knowing she had been alone at home feeling bad while he had been at work.

“Ni… what’s the matter, hm?” His voice having gone soft, Liam only slowly walked over to the girl, so she could tell him to stay away if she wanted to, but she didn’t complain even when he sat down next to her, hesitating for about a second before putting his arms around her and the fact that she immediately snuggled into him and welcomed his hug was proof enough that something was seriously up. God, hopefully she hadn’t been home alone for too long already, Liam hated not knowing what was up with her or whether anything had happened, it got him really anxious just thinking about all the possibilities. “Did anything happen?”

“No… I just… “ Letting out a rather shaky breath, Niall sniffed a little bit, her face now buried against Liam’s neck, driving the man insane because even though he kinda had a feeling he knew what was going on, he didn’t know for sure obviously and he couldn’t even look at her. “Li… ‘m gonna be a shit mom.”

“No, you won’t, baby, why do you think that?” There was relief spreading through Liam’s body, not because he enjoyed seeing Niall down and almost crying, but because they had had this conversation a few times already and Liam knew that it was normal, it wasn’t like Niall was crying and screaming, she was simply having worries and her level of emotionality had been extra high ever since she had gotten pregnant.

“I don’t know, I… I was at the, um… grocery store after work and… this woman had her baby with her and… we kinda got talking and then… then the baby looked at me and… it started crying and what if… what if our baby doesn’t like me, Li, what if… what if I do everything wrong and completely mess it up?!” At this stage, Liam was pretty sure that Niall had actually broken out into tears once more, his heart breaking a little bit as he held her tighter, pressing a kiss onto the top of her head.

“Love, you know that won’t happen, I know you’re worried and it’s alright, but you’re going to be a great mom, I can promise you that. There’s not so much you can do wrong and of course our baby is going to like you, Niall, it’s going to love you. C’mere.” Knowing that the girl would protest at least a little bit, Liam still pulled her into his lap, she had gotten a bit heavier, but seeing as she had literally weighed nothing before, it wasn’t affecting the man at all.

“Don’t, I’m too heavy to-“

“Nialler, you barely put on any weight, it’s just your belly.” Which was very true and Niall probably knew that because she immediately gave in, having to lift her head for a moment though, giving Liam a chance to kiss away one of the tears that had escaped her, tightly wrapping his arm around her, his free hand coming to a rest on her stomach. “See? Everything’s good.”

“No… it’s not, Li…. I can’t do this, I… you’re going to be the best dad ever and I… “ There were more tears that Liam couldn’t really catch up on kissing away so he used his thumb instead, gently attempting to dry Niall’s skin, free hand rubbing up and down her back. Times like these, Liam felt really guilty that Niall was the one who had to be pregnant and go through all of this, at least she wasn’t getting up anymore at night having to puke.

“And you’re going to be the best mom ever, Ni.” Of course she would be, she was loving and she was caring and funny and really everything good a person could possibly be and Liam had been trying to make her believe that almost all her life long and he wasn’t going to give up on it.

“N-No… I don’t even… have any experience and you… you got your school kids and… anyways, you’re really good with kids in general, I’ve barely ever even… _held_ one.” Okay, that was a little bit true, but mostly due to the fact that they didn’t know too many people with children, sure, Niall had a niece but she barely ever saw her, and then again, it’s not like Liam had held that many babies in his life either.

“My school kids are all 14 or older, babe, that has nothing to do with anything. We’ve got about the same amount of experience and anyways, we’re preparing, right? We’ve read those books and we’ve been googling stuff and we’re eating healthy and-“

“I f-fucking hate eating healthy...” And with that, the conversation seemed to be over because Niall let out a sob before once again hiding her face against Liam’s neck, almost causing the man to smile just a little bit because it was so her to get upset over the fact that they had changed their diet.

“Baby… shhh, it’s okay. I’m here, always, I’m never going to leave you alone with this, whatever happens, we’ve always got each other and we’ll find a way to do this, I promise, okay?” Liam’s promises didn’t seem to mean a lot right now because Niall just kept crying while he was rocking her a bit, having both his arms now tightly wrapped around her and his cheek resting against her head. “I love you so much, Niall, more than anything in the world. It’s going to be okay, we’ll be just fine, you’ll see.”

“I l-love you t-too…” Was all she somehow choked out, causing Liam to smile a little bit before momentarily shutting his mouth in favor of just holding and rocking her, deciding to just leave her some time to calm down again, even if he fucking hated not being able to do anything or help her. After all, this wasn’t the first time this had happened and Liam was afraid it also wasn’t the last.

Most days though, Niall was really happy and excited, just as much as Liam, just this morning they had been talking about names for the baby, having agreed a while ago that they were going to wait until the baby was born to find out the gender. Even though it had literally made everyone protest, especially Liam’s mother and also Harry for some reason, but they did respect their decision… well, everyone did except for those side remarks Louis would sometimes make. Then again, he always did that and at least he had stopped joking around about Niall and Liam being bad parents after Liam had genuinely yelled at him for a serious reason for the first time ever.

It took a while until Niall had stopped crying, but Liam just continued holding her anyways, giving her the time she needed, loosening his arms momentarily when she adjusted herself in his lap a little bit, her hands now both resting against her stomach, almost causing Liam to flinch a little bit as she let out a sound of surprise. “Oh… “

“What? What happened?” Immediately feeling alarmed, Liam felt helpless for a second because he couldn’t even see the girl’s face, even more confused when he felt Niall softly grabbing a hold of his hand before putting it against her stomach, keeping hers over his. Oh, the baby was kicking. 

“You feel it? It’s a lot harder than usually.” Judging by her voice, Niall seemed to have calmed down, but they were both distracted now anyways, feeling her stomach and the baby kicking, reminding Liam of when it had first happened a bit ago just when he had been kissing Niall’s stomach and tickling her and he had probably never felt happier. 

“Yeah… probably to cheer you up.” That probably wasn’t true but it was quite a coincidence after all, even if Niall just let out a little sigh before adjusting herself once more, her hand still hovering over Liam’s as she finally lifted her head enough so the man could look at her. “Everything okay, baby?”

“I… I guess, I’m just… I don’t know…” Shrugging a little bit, Niall very obviously faked a smile before kissing Liam’s lips softly, lingering for a little bit, causing the man to feel the usual goosebumps rising all over his body. “Sorry… I didn’t even say hi to you… “

“’s okay, baby, don’t worry about it. I just want you to be alright, yeah?” Using his free hand, Liam brushed some hair out of the girl’s face and behind her ear before moving on to stroking her cheek softly. She was so beautiful it shouldn’t have been allowed.

“I am… sometimes I just… sometimes I just overthink and then… “ Returning Liam’s smile, even if only weakly, the man considered it to be a little bit of a success, kissing her again just because he hadn’t seen her since this morning and though it wasn’t really that late, he was always missing her anyways.

“I know, Nialler. It’s okay to have worries, I get them too. But I promise you that we’re going to figure everything out and I’m gonna be here the whole entire time, always. This little peanut in here needs us, both of us, but especially you.” Softly rubbing her stomach, Liam could tell that Niall was about to protest, just looking at him for a moment, but then suddenly, she just unexpectedly put both her arms around his neck, leaning in closer until her breath was brushing the man’s lips.

“I love you so much, bean, it’s insane… I can’t believe that I’m going to marry my best friend since like 20 years and that we’re gonna have a baby in like 4 months and… thank you… for always knowing the right thing to say and for being so amazing and for… for being you.” Before Liam could reply, before he could even take it in, Niall had already pressed her lips against his once more, more eager this time and obviously the man didn’t reject her, feeling himself smiling into the kiss as he held onto Niall more tightly, one hand still against her stomach.

He could always tell her how he couldn’t believe any of this either once they were done kissing, and tell her how much he loved her as well and how wonderful and gorgeous she was and how he couldn’t wait to finally be married to her and have a baby with her. In fact, Liam had all the time in the world to make sure to tell Niall that every single day because after all, he still had to make up for all those years he hadn’t been able to.

 

\-----------

 

About four months later, their daughter Bella was born and she was absolutely _perfect_ , almost causing even Louis to shed a tear when everyone came to visit at the hospital. The birth had gone rather smoothly, even though Niall had almost ripped Liam’s hand off, but she had given birth to a human being so she was allowed to do that, right? And it’s not like he had ever complained, he had been the most supportive and sweetest boyfriend anyone could have asked for.

Their lives changed drastically once they had become parents, but somehow, it was making every single aspect of it even better than it already been, even if the first few months were a little bit rough on them, being new to all of this and having to realize that reading books about it hadn’t actually prepared them so well for reality after all [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/d3e3205d62fe14279720490a56d01451/tumblr_inline_o8nogwADtR1rggmxj_500.jpg). They were so in love with each other though, and their baby girl, that Niall was pretty sure she would have actually gotten jealous of their relationship had she not been in it. [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/a43d42ac7d30a4ff55623f371749856c/tumblr_inline_o8noecvb4S1rggmxj_500.jpg) [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/1b89014eaae9c599fdf25f2e043a7eb0/tumblr_inline_o8nog2z66e1rggmxj_500.jpg)

They did marry, about a year after Bella was born [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/39d79389b46e04f98a5be4fd00a4886a/tumblr_inline_o8nogm6eW61rggmxj_500.jpg), which was even around the same time their daughter started walking [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/b3b554707d8f8cd8c33998e08dd3518b/tumblr_inline_o8nohjHmKL1rggmxj_500.jpg) and Niall was pretty sure those two days had actually been tied with the amount of tears she had shed. It was crazy though, how fast their little girl was growing up, how fast time was passing by and sometimes it seemed like just a moment ago her and Liam had been going to university and first started dating and the next they were married and bloody parents. [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/3cfe31ffcc168b18950a443c32e540f0/tumblr_inline_o8noelFynh1rggmxj_500.jpg) [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/e78e0a5c1a08b5d12cd323e90b8370c7/tumblr_inline_o8noh4mH8k1rggmxj_500.jpg)

When Harry and Louis got married as well and adopted a baby a few years later, Niall kinda stopped feeling guilty for always having asked them to baby sit for them throughout the years [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/7cc0ffe56add8ba573a1fdf93b4d3281/tumblr_inline_o8nofln2ZK1rggmxj_500.jpg) [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/6fcce0b9cc2ca2f63b9420054d374923/tumblr_inline_o8nocvaT3r1rggmxj_500.jpg), because Bella was more than just excited to have someone she’d be able to play with and Niall was glad too because she had a really hard time thinking about having to send her baby off to kindergarten soon where she’d surely find some friends. [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/3976c2ba9ad00bf0d70e0acfa2dd4b4f/tumblr_inline_o8nod2wAlr1rggmxj_500.jpg)

It was kinda remarkable really, to watch her growing this quickly, and Niall knew it got Liam really emotional as well thinking about it, but then again, she was the most perfect little girl any parents could have ever asked for [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/48a56acf51978391addad5e598c11569/tumblr_inline_o8nohbO7NO1rggmxj_500.jpg), and though she was kind of a little bit of a daddy’s girl, Niall wasn’t very surprised by that seeing as Liam was giving Bella the whole world and even more [(x)](http://68.media.tumblr.com/da93c74e0d266307795d7cad090adcba/tumblr_inline_o8xkln7ySn1rggmxj_500.jpg). And after all, Niall’s fear about being the ‘worse’ parent didn’t come true, because Liam was mostly the one who would lie on the floor for hours playing Barbie and getting his hair done, and Niall was the one who was there when Bella had nightmares or wanted a cuddle [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/f261d0f6598c8fdc3926b9b5c04e4adf/tumblr_inline_o8noesmYMA1rggmxj_500.jpg). Besides, it wasn’t like watching her _husband_ with their daughter wasn’t the best feeling in the entire world. [(x)](http://66.media.tumblr.com/9cd14193a3c078ca32b9acfcc408d02d/tumblr_inline_o8nogeMfCp1rggmxj_500.jpg)

Years later, Niall still had not actually understood how she had gotten this extremely lucky, how she had ever deserved to meet Liam all those years ago in fucking kindergarten and then marrying him and having his babies and pretty much living a perfect life, with him being the most caring and sweetest husband and dad in the entire world. All Niall knew was that Liam had always and would always be the one for her, her best friend and also soulmate, and the very best part was that the girl was 100% sure that those feelings were absolutely mutual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone, thank you so much for reading! i very much appreciate all the lovely feedback i have gotten while writing this fic and i know not everyone was into it, but its just something i really wanted to try and im very happy to see that a lot more people enjoyed this fic than i had expected :D 
> 
> also, i hope you guys all like the pictures i added haha! i went a little overboard i think but i just found too many cute pictures that could be nialls and liams child and i know they dont all match but hey, its just for imagination haha! 
> 
> thank you all so much for reading and for taking the time to leave comments and give me kudos, i hope you all enjoyed the epilogue and id be happy to see you around when i start a new fic <3


End file.
